beauty timeline

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made the mistake of watching this again and GOD. im forever gonna be bitter over this show i think because this is honestly one of the most romantic scenes in anime. 

reina showing up to the date dressed up all fancy and hiking a mountain in friggen heels to impress. ya girl kumiko hauling her heavy as hell euphonium up a mountain for reina when she had previously declined to even carry it to the riverbank for practice. “but i don’t hate pain” “what? thats kind of hot.” frank discussion of the incident that has been plaguing their relationship since episode 1. “it’s a confession of love.” “it makes me want to peel that good girl skin off of you.” bonding over wanting to be special and stand out from the crowd. The fucking intense moment when Reina cuts off her “kousaka-san” and quietly but firmly orders her to use her first name with no honorific. the worshipful way Kumiko whispers “…Reina.” “At that moment, i felt like i wouldn’t mind losing my life.” The Lip Touch. the ending duet.

Like at least we’ll always have this and the other later confession scene, but i can never forgive this show for giving us such a good and intense relationship and then dancing back away from it to say they’re just Gal Pals. 

WOW okay I stumbled across this old old old photo from when I was pre-t, back around March of 2016 just a month before my first shot. I tried to replicate the photo as best I could to try & really see the changes that have taken place over these past 14 months (on T). Not only have I changed drastically in my physical appearance, I’m finally starting to realize all of the emotional changes I’ve experienced. I’ve become more confident, more open minded, more empathetic, more sympathetic. I feel as if truly embracing who I am has opened a whole whole for me in being able to explore my emotions & understand my mental health in ways I didn’t know were possible before embarking on this crazy journey. I’m so grateful for this process, for the changes I’ve experienced physically, mentally & spiritually throughout these 14 months, I feel almost impatient to know what’s coming next for me. But I remind myself every day to slow down & enjoy the process day by day, we cannot focus on the end goal or else we’ll miss the entire point of our goal in the first place 😌✨

6

Ok. So.
A lot of you guys would have followed me when I was the person in the top left photo. It’s hard for me to recognise who that is anymore, it’s not me for sure, and I doubt that it ever actually was. That was a year ago last month. Back then I was super depressed, I was hiding who I was to everyone, mainly myself. I’ve known since I was about 15 for definite that I wasn’t my authentic self. I hid it for a good 4 nearly 5 years. The top right photo was taken at the beginning of May 12th 2016, I thought I wasn’t ready to come out so I would just go for an androgynous vibe, before you know it we are at the middle left, May 29th 2016, I was out to my friends, family and coworkers. I felt free. The next photo is June 2016, I had only been out a month by this point and I was feeling more myself than ever, but everything felt a lifetime away and sometimes it still does. The two bottom photos were from the end of July 2016/early August 2016, which takes us up to date, I’ve had my name legally changed and I’ve been referred to a GIC, for nearly 7 weeks I’ve been on the waiting list, that leaves me with about 8 months of waiting before my first appointment. The whole point of this post is to not only show everyone how far I’ve come, and recognise my own progress myself but to tell you that if you’re scared to come out, I was too, and I can promise you one day you will start to see yourself in your own reflection. I’ve still got a long way to go, I’ve still got to wait approx 1 year for hormones by the time I’ve had my first appointment, I’ve got surgery, I’ve got an entire journey to mould into myself yet. But I promise all of you who are still in the closet, still have long hair, still use their birth name, one day you will bite the bullet and get there, and I know for a fact you are all so handsome. We got this boys.

loving your body doesn’t mean becoming complacent with the things you dislike about it - if you want to change your body then DO IT. it took a year of hormone therapy and extensive surgery for me to love my body and that’s okay! stop telling people you have to love your natural body - especially trans people. trans people can hate their bodies. trans people can want to hide their bodies. trans people can be ashamed of their bodies. it’s normal. don’t let people tell you that you’re wrong for hating or loving your body. it’s your journey and everyone’s is different. you’ll get there one day and as for me, I’m only getting started