beauty and a beat live

today my friend in class calculated that Gaston eats 420 eggs a week (21900/year).  She than went on to ask how Gaston affords that many eggs if he lives in a “poor, provincial town.” I said that Gaston probably has 5 dozen chickens and that LeFou takes care of them all like their his children and each morning he wakes up at 4:00 am to collect 60 eggs for Gaston.

god I hate live action Beauty and the Beast: a roast post

I’m sick of yall telling me I gotta like this glitter glue cupcake and that if I don’t I’m a monster. Here’s a list of everything I hate personally and you can’t stop me

*Oh my God the beast face. Ooooh my god. They reduced his animalistic features so he no longer has the trademark hunch, lowered brow, or tusks. He has little baby vampire teeth. Pathetic. Give him tusks you cowards

*Because they reduced that it looks like a human face with a large nose photoshopped onto an uncomfortably large buffalo head and it made me queasy every time he was on screen

*Nearly all the object servants have hollow soulless beady eyes which also weirded me out to the point where I wanted them off the screen as soon as possible

*The camerawork for Evermore suggests it’s supposed to be sweeping and grand but why in God’s good name did they go through all the trouble and effort into writing a bland and inferior version of If I Can’t Love Her that isn’t musically interesting and doesn’t reach the high notes it should. Go listen to If I Can’t Love Her and then Evermore and tell me which one is better. Spoiler alert. It’s not Evermore.

*Everything is so extra. Please let me rest. Literally does everything need 3 layers of tarnished gold filigree. Leave my eyes alone

*Cry “practical simple elegance” all you want, that dress looks like a $100 Macy’s prom dress and was clearly designed for easy merchandising. At the very least give her the gloves oh my god

*why the F U C K would you take out the iconic stained glass intro for live action

*Emma Watson can’t sing. If they did put the Broadway songs in, no way could she pull off Home. She can’t do it. No harm in it but she wasn’t cut out for these songs

*They put the cut line about growing a beard again back in which implies Belle is a massive furry and into ripped buffalo men

*Lefou being gay is fine. I’m glad Disney at least attempted some kind of representation after all these years. But I really wish that his happy ending A: wasn’t a short 2 second clip at the end and B: Didn’t involve the other guy being from a man-in-a-dress joke that the audience was seemingly supposed to laugh at because that seems to imply that Disney thinks men trying feminine clothing and liking it instantly makes them gay which is giving me very bad 1990s Will and Grace vibes which should not be going on in 2017

*fuck i hate the beast’s big weird face

*I don’t know if it’s just me but the CGI makes it look like there’s a bigger age gap than there really is which also worsens the terminal case of Big Weird Face syndrome

*Lumiere is cheating the curse because he’s technically just a tiny brass man.

*Don’t know why Plumette has a bird face. That was freaking me out too

*Court composer maestro piano man is giving me very deep and horrifying flashbacks to the Tim Curry CGI Organ Guy from enchanted christmas and I never want that to be remembered

*Beast’s big lumpy photoshopped uncanny valley baby fangs lumpy lump face on his lumpy head

*removed illiterate Beast subplot

*no Human Again. It’s been 15 years. At least give me that

Long story short I will unapologetically hate this unnecessary cash grab for the fraud that I believe it is, knowing all the while yall ate it up and we’re gonna have to sit through more years of excessive live action remakes because of your collective buffoonery. If you like it, fine. I can’t stop you. But at least know the reason it was made wasn’t out of popular demand.

Lady and the Tramp life action movie

So after Disney made Lefou a closeted gay person in their new version of beauty and the beast, how about a life action movie of lady and the tramp and they turn the two italian guys into a gay couple? Just a thought ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Originally posted by justlikedisney

Originally posted by jazzielpunkdixon

anonymous asked:

I was wondering if you could talk about The Phoenix and any Olicity children in the future, if it's not too spoilery (since she's already pregnant)? Your answer to that Firebird ask about Olicity babies destroyed me. I love your replies almost as much as I love your stories!

Actually, it’s something that’s been in my head since I wrote The Phoenix.

Oliver and Felicity, in The Phoenix verse, have two sons and one daughter.

Zachary, Zane, and Zoe.

Felicity’s three little Z’s; Oliver’s perfect trinity - with his precious little angel protected right between her two brothers, who tease her mercilessly but dote upon her.

Zachary - who’s most like their father. He’s got eerie instincts, protectiveness and a silent brand of affection only very few can get out of him, mostly his sister. Even as a baby, he’d been quiet, observant and least reactive to impulses. He’s also the most deceptively stubborn of the three. Always ten steps ahead of everyone around him, he grows up to become one sexy, lethal package of a man you don’t want on your wrong side.

Zane - he has something inside him that he’s never been able to convey to his parents. On the face of it, he’s a goof, the most playful, the one who makes Felicity pull out her hair with his pranks, the one who’s had most “talks” with his father. On the inside, something else roils. Something only his sister knows about. Something he made her promise to never tell anyone. He’s brash and impulsive and always has a smile, even when he cuts you open for hurting the people he loves.

Zoe - she’s the most complex and yet most serene of them all. She’s the one everyone talks to, the one who holds all of their many secrets inside her - none of them her own - and keeping them for so long eats away at her. She knows she’s her dad’s favorite (even though he’d never admit it out loud) and knows her mom dotes upon her; she has Uncle Digg and Roy wrapped around her little fingers and Aunt Thea teaching her how to kick ass in high heels. And she’s got her brothers - her beautiful brothers who’d lay their lives down for her without missing a beat and bring her the moon if she asked.

These three hellions Oliver and Felicity somehow raise into good humans in a bad world. Despite the dark world they live in, the kids have always known they’re loved. As parents, Oliver and Felicity as always given their children the freedom to choose how deeply they want to be involved in the Bratva, if at all.

Zach chooses to be completely involved. With his silent, dangerous demeanor, he trains himself to take over his father’s place and become even more powerful. Zane, on the other hand, chooses to take over Felicity’s little software business and transforms it into an empire unrivaled. And Zoe, precious Zoe, starts working with the women who’ve been affected by the monsters in their world since a young age. She works with them and helps them build new lives from the scratch.

It is then when they’re all more or less settled into their lives, their family, their everything when Zoe meets him.

With a body bigger than any man’s she’s ever seen (and she’s been around big men her whole life), with the rough hands of a fighter and the honed form of a weapon, he hooks her. But it is his eyes - utterly dark, terrifyingly cold, bottomless pits of secrets, secrets she wants to know - and that jagged scar at the corner of his lips that pulls one side of his mouth into a permanent scary frown that scares the shit out of people, that reel her in.

It is then that Zoe - the precious daughter of Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak-Queen, the beloved sister of Zachary Queen and Zane Queen, the princess of Bratva for all intents and purposes - meets Raze, the secret bastard son of Ilyich.

And stuff happens.

Okay, guess I’ll make a serious post about this:

There’s a problem in audio drama/serial fiction podcasts with representation. (I don’t listen to nonfiction podcasts, so I cannot comment on those.) Obviously, a lot of kinds of media have representation problems, but popular audio dramas often get lauded for diversity, so. 

There’s a real disconnect between the kinds of people these stories are about and who gets to tell these stories. Podcasts like Welcome to Night Vale, The Adventure Zone, or The Strange Case of Starship Iris are highly praised for their well-written LGBT characters or characters of color. And yeah, they’re good! Their representation is sometimes even very meaningful and profound. I don’t want to dismiss that, especially all the great work that LGBT+ actors and actors of color have put into those kinds of shows. But they also tend to all have moments that bring me up short, make me go, “Oof, a straight white person definitely wrote this, didn’t they?” 

Even good and radical sentiments in these podcasts ring hollow when I remember that straight white writers are the ones gaining reputation and profit from the stories that aren’t theirs.

Creative control matters. There needs to be more diversity among podcast writers and directors. Representation in characters is great, but that isn’t a substitute for a genuinely critical point of view. Take Friends at the Table. It’s not perfect, but it really shines in a lot of ways. LGBT characters and relationships are consistently centered, which makes sense for a show where at least four of the contributors are gay or trans. The story is actively anti-colonialist–yeah, the GM is black. There have been lines that I’ve cried at because a person of color wrote them. Something very real and beautiful lives in the beats of stories made by and for people like me. 

So support creators of color. Support LGBT+ creators. For that matter, support disabled, non-Christian, poor, or any other kinds of marginalized creators, and especially support creators that are more than one of these things. Demand more from this medium that so many great things are made in. 

@podcasts-collected Signal boost?

Top 5 ships

thanks to @bellarkelifestyle and @bl-ake for the tag!!!!

1. BELLARKE (Bellamy Blake + Clarke Griffin, The 100)

Originally posted by kcismyreligion

I would be lying to myself and everyone else if I said that these two dorks haven’t become my OTP of all time. Nothing will ever beat them for me. These two beautiful souls whose lives on the Ark dictated that were never supposed to meet, fell down to earth together only to find their heart and soul in each other. They are canonically each others’ weakness but even more beautiful is that they canonically give each other strength. The only people they care about more than each other are their actual blood related families. Their enemies-to-friends-to-lovers (the later yet to be explicitly canon) tore me into itty bitty pieces and their journey of growing to respect, trust, care about, and eventually love the other has me in tears at the most inappropriate times. All in all, nothing will ever satisfy the hole they’ll leave in my heart after this show is over (#brooke is bellarke trash)

2. Percabeth (Percy Jackson + Annabeth Chase, The Percy Jackson series)

Originally posted by leovaldezly

(Gotta love the dark-haired boy with light-haired girl aesthetic).

I’m pretty sure this pairing was the first time I actually shipped something, before I even knew what shipping was. I read this series when I was super young and absolutely fell in love with them. And apparently I’m a sucker for friends-to-lovers because holy shit this is probably one of the best and healthiest examples of that and I love it. And screw anyone that says that your best friend can’t be your lover. To that I say your lover should be your best friend. Props to Rick for making this one of the coolest relationship developments i’ve ever read/seen (second after bellarke of course)     

3. PB & J (Pam Beasley + Jim Halpert, The Office)

Originally posted by pleasingpics

Where do I even start??? These two are probably the biggest dorks i’ve watched fall in love. Honestly, their love was so pure and true. And honestly one of my favorite scenes with Jim is when he completely rejects that one girl in s8 while they’re on a business trip (i can’t even bother to look her name up rn) because it helps shows just how committed and loyal they are to each other and ugh, they are honestly #goals.

4. Jily (James Potter + Lily Evans, The Harry Potter series) 

Originally posted by deerxpuns

In terms of “fanon” I think this is as close as it gets for me because even though we all know that they get married and are actually super in love with each other, we never really get to see that first hand. The only times we hear about them are when someone else is describing it. But to me, at least the way I see their relationship, it’s beautiful. It’s a story of growth, and maturing, and bravery, and tragedy. They died so young and had so much more of a life to live with their son whom they no doubt loved with all of their being. I just can’t help but imagine how much Harry’s life would have been different had he been able to grow up in a house with parents who loved both him and each other unconditionally. 

5. Ten Rose (The Tenth Doctor + Rose Tyler, Doctor Who)

Originally posted by pouahhh

This was a big one for me. Before Bellarke they were my OTP. I was absolutely in love with both Billy Piper and David Tennant’s portrayal of these two characters. Rose Tyler was the actual loml. She was spunky, and happy, and wonderful. And so was Ten. They complemented each other so well and both of them brought the other down to earth when one would get lost in the clouds. AND I WAS AN ABSOLUTE DISASTER WHEN I WATCHED DOOMSDAY! I LITERALLY CRIED FOR DAYS ABOUT HOW THE DOCTOR WAS ABOUT TO BUT NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” AND OH GOD I’M GONNA START CRYING!!!! 

So there you go! All of the ships that leave me on a puddle when it’s least convenient. And looking back I realize I’m actually huge trash for the “friends-to-lovers” trope. But i mean, is it all that bad?? 

Tagging @nancybvers @craterhead @sherlockvowsontheriverstyx @bellarke2k17 and anyone else who would like to give it a go :)

Man those villagers in Beauty and the Beat had it MADE. Living in 17th century France with no nobility breathing down their necks for years?? No wonder they immediately turned on the Beast when they realized the dude had been living in a castle next door the whole time.