Also can you please gush to me about Nine/Rose?? Like I love them and ship them but sometimes I struggle a little because Nine is so obviously smitten, but with Rose there's Mickey and Adam and Jack and she denies anything with Nine for most of the season. So I tend to favor Ten(too)/Rose because they feel more equal in affection to me, if that makes sense??
See, the thing is though, where we see how smitten Nine is, 90% of the time, he’s being obviously smitten where she can’t see. All those glances and the way he talks about her to others… she doesn’t get those indicators so to her perception, he’s probably a little confusing. He does things like tell her she’s beautiful and weighs the fate of the world against her life but he also tries to be super stoic when she tests the waters as to his interest. Plus she had to process the alien thing and doesn’t know if he would be interested in a human at all.
So she has Mickey who is safe and adores her and she’s reluctant to leave that safety net. Adam is a blip on the map to me. She wanted to show him up and thought he was a bit of alright but he was just a distraction, you know? And Jack? I think she was attracted to him and he’s a potent flirt but after that first meeting, they settled into a friendship that was more suited to them.
So Nine fell hard and fast and before Rose did but Rose fell in love over the course of the season and it’s Beautiful. They get closer and closer and trust each other and there are no declarations but they’re so Solid. They reach for each other often and depend on each other and laugh together.
Nine in general is just more subtle than Ten with his affection and therefore Rose is as well. They play off of each other and are still trying to figure out what is okay, how far they can take it, is it going to work. They think they have Time and they don’t and it makes me so sad. So yeah, they deny it but some of that is that they don’t know where the other stands. There’s undeniably something there but they aren’t sure if the other person acknowledges it, much less wants to act upon it.
They’re just so good for each other. He makes her braver and stronger and more confident and she is like a balm on his wounded soul and teaches him how to see the wonder in ordinary things again. Their jagged edges fit together so well but they still are jagged and they hurt each other but they’re together. His smile is never as tender as when it’s directed at Rose. Her’s is never as bright with anyone but him. They are all about the subtleties. (Until they’re not.) (Until he falls apart completely when he thinks she’s dead - unable to be angry or sad or anything… just numb and empty and devoid of her light.) (Until he sends her away and she refuses to give up on him and let him die so she takes the vortex into her, takes the heart of the tardis into her and goes to save him because she will not lose him.)
Like i understand why people ship Ten(too)/Rose more because it’s a more overt romance but it’s all built on how they grew together when he wore a leather jacket and slightly overlarge ears. They were building a foundation, building a friendship that could withstand regeneration and alternate universes. They were falling in love and watching that is what makes me love them so very much.
The Most Beautiful Man In The World, Who Lives In My Building And Only Ever Sees Me When I Look Disgusting
The Most Beautiful Man In The World lives in my building. i don’t know his name. we met on a bus, when i smiled WAY too brightly at him for strangers because, honest to god, my whole heart lit up in a way that made me think, “oh, i must know that guy!!” no. i didn’t. he’s just The Most Beautiful Man In The World.
what does The Most Beautiful Man In The World look like? i will tell you:
like the way the sun spills over water at dusk
like the way food smells when you’re hungry
like the sound angels make when they’re doing folk covers of pop songs on their heavenly harps
and also kind of like the guy who played Chad in “high school musical,” if the guy who played Chad in “high school musical” was the most beautiful man in the world.
i tell you this not only to brag that i live in the same apartment complex as The Most Beautiful Man In The World but also because i want to know WHY, if there even IS A GOD, every single time i run into The Most Beautiful Man In The World i look like a LITERAL DUMPSTER TROLL that has just CRAWLED OUT OF ITS GARBAGE HOUSE in search of FREE WIFI AND A SLURPEE. i want to know why i can never just BE COOL with The Most Beautiful Man In The World when we ride the elevator together, which is!!!! kind of often!!!!!
DID YOU GUYS KNOW that sometimes i look nice?? sometimes i actually look like a FUNCTIONING ADULT!!! sometimes i would go so far as to say i am an ATTRACTIVE INDIVIDUAL!!!!!
you know who DOESN’T know any of that???
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, WHO LIVES IN MY BUILDING!!!
here’s a quick rundown of the last few times i ran into The Most Beautiful Man In The World:
i was wearing a maxi dress i had very cleverly biked home in, without a helmet* (*don’t try that at home, kids), in the VERY HOT AFTERNOON SUN, so i was a GROSS SWEAT MONSTER but without any OBVIOUS INDICATOR that there was a normal reason for it, and i couldn’t stand to look at him so i just glared at my phone while he probably wondered, alarmed, whether i was fleeing the scene of a crime
i was wearing a white shirt that i had not SECONDS before spilled salsa ALL OVER in a big red stain right down the front like a KINDERGARTNER
i was carrying two armfuls of ENORMOUS bags of popcorn with a three musketeers bar literally in my mouth and he overheard me say through my stuffed candy cheeks to my doorman, “oh, no, i’m not having a party, this is literally all for me”
i dropped my backpack while opening my mail and said to it, defeatedly, “why? why did you do that when i explicitly told you not to? do you like being on the floor?”
i fell into and then off of the elevator
why??? why does this happen??? what vengeful god has orchestrated it so the ONLY TIMES i ever run into The Most Beautiful Man In The World are when i could easily be mistaken for a child’s doll that has been put through the wash by accident, or a dollar bill that has been stained by years of being in people’s sweaty palms, or a mop with eyes???
whatever. everything costs money and everyone you love disappoints you. Mop Eyes out.
When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty.
Reading some male tv critics utterly miss the overall message of “Big Little Lies,” reducing it to a “soap” or “guilty pleasure” or “revenge fantasy”…. Makes me think of this quote…
One thing that is interesting about Victor is how obsessed he seems to be with surprising people and being surprised. In fact, the very first line of anime tells us that:
In the second episode, we learn that Victor’s main goal as a skater is not to win but to surprise his audience the way he hasn’t before. And it makes sense because Victor is obviously an artist as much as an athlete - he creates stories with his choreographies and he’s extremely talented with that. But now he can’t do it anymore.
When I watched it the first time I thought it was because of the reason Yurio gives in this scene - that Victor was just so good so long that no one is really surprised that he wins. But I don’t think this is really Victor’s case and that’s because of the other thing Yurio says then.
What Victor seeks so desperately that he came to Japan without a hesitation is apparently an inspiration. He can’t surprise people because there’s nothing to surprise him anymore. Nothing except of Yuuri of course.
Now, let’s stop there for a second. Because we have Victor Nikiforov, who has the world at his feet, who has so much money and is surrounded by beautiful things, who travels around the world and does what he loves for living and he is bored. Or rather tired. Unhappy. Lonely and forgetful and despair. In other words, he’s probably depressed, he wants to feel something true and deep again and he can’t. And this is where Yuuri enters the stage.
Victor falls in love with Yuuri more and more every day because he makes him feel things he never felt before. Because he’s so beautiful it helps Victor get out from his mental dark place. Because he surprises him. What Victor needed was not only an inspiration for his skating but also to have someone make the same effort for him as he did for other people. And Yuuri does exactly that.
What Yurio doesn’t know in the second episode is that Yuuri is the first and only person that surprised Victor in a very long time. But his words are important because from that moment the only thing that Yuuri wants is to show Victor that he is worth his attention.
And he does. He does it from the first moment they meet and he really turns out to be the only person to satisfy him.
Victor spend his whole life working very hard to surprise people and make them happy by his skating and it only gave him depression but then the one thing he really needed and wanted was for someone to do the same thing specifically for him and Yuuri showed up and absolutely smashed his expectations. And then Yuuri wanted to surprise Victor as much as he always surprised him at least once and in fact, he has done that every day since they’d met. And this is just so beautiful I may be crying right now.
And then they became canon and surprised us all and I’ll be forever grateful for that.
Inspired by #victuuriweek prompt: -> Day One: Firsts Victor: Surprises
I have nothing now but praise for my life. I’m not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people…They leave me and I love them more…What I dread is the isolation. … There are so many beautiful things in the world…
I want to write about you– the man who makes my heart skip effortlessly. I want to let you know that writing this is not easy because writing means telling everything and telling everything means I will be transparent to you; you will able to see my soul through the words I’m about to utter.
I will write this because you deserve to be painted through words– I will let the world know how wonderful you are in my eyes and I will make you wonderful in their eyes. You thought you are not enough and you thought no one appreciates you, but for me, you are enough. You are more than enough. From the way you talk, the way you make me laugh, through the way you put a mini heart attack whenever you summon my name. Out of billions of people in the world and hundreds of people I know, you’re one of the few people who really cared about me and I thank you for that. You told me once that I deserve to be loved and to be happy, maybe I really do, because the way you told me that my mess is beautiful, I thought about that maybe, just maybe there’s always beauty in every particular things in the world including my mess. It was hard to see myself that way but whenever I think of the words you said, I feel like I need to believe you. And I will always be thankful that I’ve met you– and if ever one day you will leave me, the memory of you will be one of the best things that happened in my life.
There are 365 days in a year
And you and I both know from many unfortunate personal experiences,
That not all of those days will be good.
For some, the majority of those days will be a breeze
For others, each day will be a trial.
The world is a difficult place.
The world is an interesting place.
I am here to give you a few reminders
To keep up with this trying world we live in.
1. Follow your own heart and dreams. Don’t ever let anyone else tell you what you can or can’t do.
2. If you want something enough, you will find a way to make it happen.
3. You will meet people who hate you, and you will meet people who love you, and you will meet people who you think love you. Don’t be fooled. Some people are just passing by in your story called life. They’re there to teach you something, so always be aware.
4. Always remember that bad things and situations you don’t like will end. It may take minutes, hours, days, or years, but never forget that they will end eventually. You can get through anything.
5. You are your own person, not anyone else’s. Don’t let people take control of you and change your beautiful self.
6. The people in your life who make you giggle and smile in the darkest of times are ones you need to keep with you forever. There is always the potential for hard times, and you’ll need someone to cheer you on.
7. You do not have to live up to any standards or expectations. Family and peers and society are constantly telling us that we have to be a certain way, or else we aren’t good enough. Tune out of that thinking and just be yourself. That’s the best thing you can be.
8. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. Being out of the box can bring on so many amazing new opportunities you never even thought existed.
9. A lot is going to happen to you during your lifetime, so let yourself feel anything and everything. Always feel as much as you can. It makes you experience things at a higher level and you can say, “Yes I know this feeling. I’ve been here before.”
10. A good cry cleanses the heart and mind and soul.
11. Appreciate the small things. They can teach you to love and be at peace with everything around you.
12. It’s okay to take a break from everyday duties once in a while.
13. Travel whenever possible, it opens the mind. Go on adventures in new places and learn about the world. You will come back a new person.
14. Get up the courage to talk to strangers. That’s how you meet people. Who knows, the next person you meet could end up being your new best friend.
15. Stand in the rain and breathe in the wide open air and absorb everything you can about the earth.
16. Long walks are something that can clear the mind and resolve many issues.
17. It’s okay to lay in bed with a book all day.
18. Look out the window and watch the snow silently fall. It’s one of the most peaceful and relaxing things you can do.
19. Remember that everyone is living their very own life with their own problems, so always be kind and respect others.
20. Keep and open mind and listen to people’s thoughts. You might discover more than you think.
21. You are not defined by your weight or skin color or career or the number of friends you have or your grades in school or your decisions. You are so much more than that.
22. Everyone makes mistakes in life, so don’t judge a person based on their decisions.
23. Keep your own limits and morals. Don’t give them up for anyone.
24. Live a little. Be spontaneous and experience all that you possibly can.
25. Aim to live a life that you will be proud of and content with when you’re 90 years old.
26. Things in life will tear you down, but time heals everything.
27. Rumors don’t help anyone. Don’t start or spread them.
28. Your soulmate is out there in the world searching for you too. Don’t lose hope. You’ll find each other one day.
29. Treat yourself once in a while.
30. Random acts of kindness can make someone’s day and it can make you feel good too.
31. You’re going to have to work if you want to live a truly happy life. Don’t cheat or make someone else do the work for you. That will only make an unfulfilled and empty life for you in the end.
32. Be proud of everything you do.
33. Self love never hurt anyone.
34. Find things to look forward to. It will keep you excited and more hopeful for the bright future.
35. Leave a piece of you in every place you go and with every person you meet.
36. Always listen to people. Everyone just wants to be heard and understood and feel like they matter to someone.
37. Do what is best for you in the long run, even if it hurts at first.
38. Love with all your heart and soul at every opportunity.
39. Never settle for less. You deserve the best and whatever makes you truly happy.
40. Don’t feel bad if someone doesn’t like you. It’s their loss because they won’t get to experience your magnificent presence.
41. Never fear love. Love can make you grow and blossom and teach you so much. Don’t fear it, but proceed with caution. Broken hearts will heal with time, but they are never fun.
42. Dancing silly to your favorite songs will guarantee some giggles and smiles.
43. Always sing in the shower, and when you’re home alone, sing as loud as you can.
44. Put effort into everything you do. It makes it all worthwhile and you feel better about it in the end. You can reflect and say “Look at this. I’m proud.”
45. Exercise makes you feel good and you’ll feel accomplished too. Try it sometime.
46. You are beautiful exactly how you are. Don’t deny yourself of your own loveliness.
47. You may not be perfect, because no one is, but you’re hella radiant, which is near perfection.
48. To grow as a person and expand your mind and soul, learn at least one new thing everyday.
49. Don’t beat yourself up about things you have no control over.
50. Happiness is not a goal or a point on a map. It is a state of being that everyone deserves.
Now my friend, I hope you can carry these things with you in your heart
Because every time you are down
You can always get back up.
Every time you are afraid
The fear won’t last forever.
This world and the people in it may knock you down
But you need to keep getting back up.
You have to.
Live, live, live.
Live your dream life. Make things happen.
It will be hard and it may seem hopeless and pointless sometimes,
But just remember that things really do get better.
The world is a difficult place.
The world is a beautiful place.
But only if you believe it to be.