beating the shit out of each other

Threats

Has anyone thought about how an alien would take our casual way of threatening each other? I mean seriously! How many times have you heard someone threaten to kill/murder/kick your ass/beat you black and blue? 

Nine times out of ten we don’t mean it. It’s playful and affectionate most of the time. But an alien wouldn’t know that! And we threaten each other over the stupidest shit! 

Friend  says something stupid (I’m gonna kick your ass!)

Brother plays a prank (I’m gonna murder you!)

Person does something stupid (I’m going to kill them) 

Child is outside climbing on something they shouldn’t (Get off of that before I beat your ass black and blue!) 

Alien’s  wouldn’t know what the hell to do with that!

cocked & loaded [dwayne johnson/vin diesel]

okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:

  • vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion.  they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia.  the mafia would be involved.  they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.  
  • whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies.  and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
  • what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.  
  • the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
  • “i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.  
  • dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van.  dwayne and vin step out.  they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators.  dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder.  vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.  
  • here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want.  dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!! 
  • here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies.  they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL.  they’re gonna know something’s up!  i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”  
  • “you’re right,” vin says.  he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
    • CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom.  “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully.  “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.” 
    • CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.  
    • CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market.  “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.  
  • CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders, asking them to dinner.  “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!).  “we’ll bring the wine.”
  • “we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france!  i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked!  it seemed like the right thing to say!” 
    • TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.  
  • they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping.  vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
    • “oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!! 
    • (”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
  • the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
    • “uh,” vin says.
    • “the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true.  they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES.  they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason.  they stop smiling, they look away from each other.  “anyway.”
    • “we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
  • the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood! 
  • vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
    • “’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn. 
    • “sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!” 
    • “yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed.  it’s routine.  they both have their sides of the bed.  “believable.”
    • the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress.  eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
    • for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep.  but he turns over.  “no,” he says.  “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk.  friendship.  it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
    • they decide to be friends again.  you know, for the baby.  for work. whatever.  
  • they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
  • the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.  
  • the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
  • are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne.  vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
  • idris puts a hand on his shoulder.  he’s been watching the entire time.  “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff.  you go save your man.”
  • CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.  
  • vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
  • “who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself.  vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss.  “guess who,” he replies.  dwayne smiles.
  • just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay.  they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
  • CUT TO: a month later.  Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.  
  • “i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family.  “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END.  THEY’RE MARRIED.  WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED.   DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED.  EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

I don’t even watch or know anything about Hockey but god damn if it isn’t the wildest sport in existence.  Like, you have these huge dudes, like, over 6 feet tall, 200+ pound guys, whipping around on ice with the grace and poise of professional figure skaters, all while lugging around 10-17 pounds of padding and a fucking stick, that they use to fucking rocket this tiny puck around to each other with pinpoint accuracy.  And then in a fraction of a second they could be fucking bare-knuckle brawling, just beating the absolute shit out of each other.  And it’s all legal.  Like

The Things We Give Welsh Learners: y Babi Sinsir

So I was going through our bookshelf yesterday, because we’re fast approaching the point where we need a clear-out, and I came across one of my all-time favourite creations ever, probably even beating shit like the wheel and penicillin. Years back, before leaving The Man to pursue his dreams of being a sort of professional clown-thing, my husband used to be a translator for Neath Port Talbot Council; as is often the way with Welsh councils, though, owing to a lack of money and also everywhere is really close to each other (this country is 150 miles wide at its widest point, and about 47 miles at the thin bit. Ver ver small), NPT Council’s translating department was shared by Swansea Council. Thus it was that, in the halcyon days of circa 2009, the two decided to team up and produce a new Welsh language book for learners between them, and thus it got sent through to Steffan to proof read it.

A Thing You May Not Know: Welsh is one of ten indigenous languages to Britain, arguably the oldest, and has been viciously oppressed over the last millennium and a half as part of England’s big If You Destroy Their Culture They’ll Be Glad To Be Ruled By You policy. These days, it’s nonetheless still spoken by approximately a fifth of the Welsh population; a hell of a feat, considering, but the suppression of it continues to this day (just in cleverer, sneakier ways now than whipping people’s children if they’re heard.) But it is classified as Endangered. Thanks to Welsh-language schools now being a thing (though supply is much lower than demand), transmission rates to the younger generation are pretty good; but, Welsh is peculiarly dependent on adult learners.

This means that learner books might have to appeal to both children and adults while using very simple language, which I explain in case it in some way justifies the bewildering weirdness of what I’m about to show you; because at first glance, this book is simply for children. But it’s… Well. 

Well.

I present to you, with translations in bold and commentary by me, Y Babi Sinsir.

Literally, “the Ginger Baby”, but they mean ‘ginger’ as in ‘gingerbread’. Literal ginger. Not the colour.

This is Mr Jones. This is Mrs Jones.

What’s wrong, Mrs Jones? I want a baby.

Note: there will be some confusion in this book about whether the narrator is speaking, or anyone else. It might seem cut and dried here, but there are no speech marks around “Dw i eisiau babi”, whereas later speech marks are used, and also in two pages’ time the narrator will actively pass a value judgement using first person, so… Well.

But, so far so good.

Mrs Jones is making a Babi Sinsir.

… okay, so I like this page because of the capitalisation of Babi Sinsir and the lack of definite article. She’s just making a Babi Sinsir. You know, a Babi Sinsir? Magical baby made of gingerbread that you make if you can’t conceive but can’t afford IVF? Yeah. A Babi Sinsir. That’s right.

Let it be known that this is Not A Thing in Welsh folklore or mythology. What the fuck. How does this work. Where does the magic come from? Do you need a faerie ingredient? Will the next page tell us?

This is the Babi Sinsir. I like the Babi Sinsir.

Nope.

But it is apparently shit-capable and needs a nappy. It’s good that the narrator likes it anyway.

The Babi Sinsir is bad. He’s running.

Uh oh.

“Come back, Babi Sinsir.”

Look how Worried the Joneses are. Funny how they don’t seem to be calling that enthusiastically, though. I’d have expected an exclamation mark at least. Did Mrs Jones always have a massive left arm? I can’t remember.

“Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yeah, okay, so that’s the Welsh for “Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!”, but once again, I’m going to have to draw attention to the lack of expressive punctuation here. It really feels like this naughty Babi Sinsir’s heart is just not in this.

“Come and help, Mr Horse.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Cool, look, a floating horse has come to help.

The pen there, incidentally, was an attempt by the translators to work out who was talking. I can’t imagine why. This dialogue is on fire, everyone can tell.

“Come and help, Mrs Cow.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Now they have been joined in their high-speed zombie shuffle by a married floating cow who is, if I’m not much mistaken, high as shit.

“Come and help, Mr Goat.”  “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

I’m starting to suspect the artist only knew how to draw the legs on animals in one way.

“Come and help, Mr Dog.”  “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yes, that dog is definitely here to ‘help’. Also… the Babi Sinsir is literally within reach of Mrs Jones’ massive left arm now. Why is she not just picking him up?

“Come and help, Miss Cat.” “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

You may be wondering at this point if this is just… the whole book. An ever-increasing flock of floating zombie creatures shuffling after a naughty gingerbread baby in a nappy who is committing the cardinal sin of running. I mean… where can they go from here, amirite? A sheep? A squirrel? A chicken? We can hit a hundred pages this way, easy. The concern is the artist, whom I think was stretched a bit beyond their means on this project anyway.

BUT WORRY NOT! Shit’s about to go down, guys.

Oh no! Here comes Mr Wolf. Mr Wolf runs and catches the Babi Sinsir.

THAT IS A FOX

THAT IS A GODDAMN FOX YOU HEATHEN FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT WEARING CLOTHES WHEN NONE OF THE OTHER ANIMALS WERE

WHY IS IT DRESSED IN DUNGAREES LIKE A LAZY FARMHAND ON AN AMERICAN RANCH IN THE 1800S

This doesn’t bode well for the -

Half of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHAT THE

Quarter of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHY DOES IT STILL LOOK SAD AND HORRIFIED WHY IS IT STILL ALIVE OH MY GOD

The Babi Sinsir has gone! There’s tasty.

What the

Wha

It

I realise this is not the main point to make here, but two pages ago it had eaten half of that nappy, and now it’s whole again and delicately discarded to one side, I just want

I mean

It’s okay, right? This happens in fairytales? Little Red Riding Hood? Someone will eviscerate the fox and out will come the Babi Sinsir…’s pieces, and they can be baked back together…?

No one cares!

Mrs Jones is making another Babi Sinsir.

The new Babi Sinsir loves Mrs Jones.

… 

…okay, so there’s a lot for us all to take in right now, and we’re all going to get through it at different speeds. But I’m just going to draw attention to the fact that Mr Jones is now merely depicted as a picture on the wall, and the new Babi Sinsir apparently only loves Mrs Jones, and…

Okay so they just lost their beloved baby gingerbread son because he got eaten alive by a fox in dungarees calling itself a wolf, right? Mrs Jones apparently couldn’t give less of a fuck if she tried, as long as she has some flour and ginger left over to make another. This one she made to love her.

Mr Jones, I presume, had a total mental breakdown and drank himself to death. At the very least, he’s left her, look. All she has left is the photo.

But does dim ots! Mae’r Babi Sinsir newydd yn caru Mrs Jones.

And that is the story of Y Babi Sinsir, aka the greatest work of literature ever written.

Thick hair gothic

The pillow is wet when you wake up. Your hair is still drying. It’s always drying. You washed it 3 days ago and need to wash it again soon. It’s still drying.

All the hair balls in your room seemed to have moved into one corner on their own. You don’t know where they’ve come from or how they keep growing. They feed on each other. Soon it’ll be too big for you to escape.

You comb your fingers through your hair only to pull out a clump of hair. You do it again and another clump comes with it. You do this several times with the same result, but the number of hairs on your head is both constant and infinite. 

“At least I’ll be warm in the winter.” You reassure yourself as the sun beats down on your head. Your scalp is melting off, every journey outside is a mistake. The winter will never come.

overwatch canon according to background info: the world has recently come out of one of the most violent and destructive wars in history and is now moving forward into a new era with the challenges of accommodating a new race of robotic citizens. a second crisis has broken out in russia and australia has been reduced to a nuclear wasteland. with the world in such an unstable condition, a group of heroes from the first war’s era, who had been disbanded following public denouncement despite their efforts to protect humanity, must come together to carry out clandestine operations in order to defend the very people who turned their backs on them

overwatch canon according to the game: twelve randomly selected people meet up and beat the shit out of each other 

NHL Bitty, Part II - Bitty v. Jack: Chirping

They live apart three-quarters of the year, their physical sex life is basically nonexistent, so Jack and Bitty have a lot of pent up energy and bring all of their problems to the ice because where else are they going to hash things out? It’s a good thing they don’t play each other often, because every Falconers v. Schooners game is a nightmare of awkward chirps, agressive hugging and sexual innuendo. It’s like the worst form of couples therapy imaginable. ESPN stops putting mics on them because they can’t edit enough out to make it appropriate.

___________

Bitty skates by, obviously furious at the call, but instead of turning on the linesman he hones in on Jack, snarling, “Seriously, a Ferrari? Trying to score some 80s side-action? I thought your whole thing was proving you aren’t your father.”

Bitty gets right up against him, pressing in tight but not moving to drop his gloves or grab at Jack’s jersey. They both know exactly what this is, and Jack pushes down the reflexive spike of want, grinning around his mouth guard.

“That’s rich coming from you – could you have purchased larger truck? Compensating for something, Itty Bitty?”

Bitty spits out his mouth guard. “After we kick your fucking ass, I’m going to take you home and remind you how ‘itty bitty’ I am.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time–”

“Enough. Save foreplay for bedroom.” Tater groans, yanking Jack away from his husband. 

Jack yells, “Are we still fighting?”

“Yes!” Bitty shouts, skating backwards to his own bench. “I hate your new publicist and fuck you for approving that photo where it looks like I have two chins.”

“Fight or fuck. You do neither and ruin both.” Tater mutters over the roar of the crowd. “How you married I do not understand.”

“We only play each other a few times a year. If we get all the tough shit out when we play, we can leave it on the ice.”

From across the ice, Bitty mouths ‘love you’ and Jack blows a kiss in return. Tater gags loudly. 

“That is not what ‘leave it on the ice’ supposed to mean, Zimmboni.”

Slytherin + Hufflepuff friendship would include...

  • both being very protective of their friend in different ways
  • “Do not touch my friend if you ever want to see the light of day again.”
  • sneaking the other one into the dorm at night to have a sleepover
  • “You shouldn’t do that.”
  • the hufflepuff always baking / cooking for the slytherin and bringing it over, the slytherin shutting anyone down who dares to try and make a comment about it
  • sitting together in silence without getting bored
  • wearing each others scarves
  • the hufflepuff standing up for their slytherin friend, no matter how many rude comments they get from other houses
  • “I made you a knitter.” - “Please tell me you’re joking.” - “No, but you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.” - “Give it to me.”
  • the slytherin dragging their friend outside because they stayed up in their room for days, snuggled up into layers of blankets
  • the slytherin having to hold back the hufflepuff because once they get mad they’re scary as hell
  • “Do you want me to beat them up?” - “…” - “Is that a no?” - “Maybe just a little.”
  • the hufflepuff introducing the slytherin to all their other friends, so they can all hang out together
  • staying up late together and starting to talk about weird shit
  • “Do you want me to talk to him for you?” - “NOOO!”
  • endlessly loyal to each other
  • the hufflepuff always laughing at the slytherins sarcastic retorts
  • knowing all the family members and embarrassing family stories of the other one and having met them all at least once
  • the hufflepuff always singing along to horrible songs and the slytherin just silently putting up with it

w: cuz being trained in combat is like, totally cheating

W: oh, so having talent and cultivating through hard work is cheating now?

w: you fucking raised your aura against me!

W: you broke three fucking vases on my head!

w: you broke my arm!

W: you ran into a wall, moron!

w: you tripped me!

W: its not my fault you get tangled up in your own legs you gangly brat

W: why dont you go train your pathetic aura

w: eugh, what do you think i am, a barbarian?

W: “oh no! i never thought id get my face smashed in by going into fights with absolutely zero defence against enemies who can smash my face in!”

W: -thats you, you fool.

Episodes of Lazytown that should have happened:

  • The kids get sucked into a video game and Pixel has to help them get out by telling them how to beat the game.
  • Robbie steals all of Sportacus’ acrobatic and athletic skill so he can’t save the day or play sports.
  • Evil Sportaclone that makes the kids hate Sportacus. (he did this with Stephanie but it would have been more effective with Sportacus)
  • A body swap episode come on everyone wanted one.
  • The plot to the unaired pilot that shit would have been funny as hell come on Magnus throw us a bone.
  • Robbie zaps the main group and they all tell each other all the negative things they think about each other. (I just really want to see Trixie kick Sportacus in the shin is that too much to ask?)
  • Robbie Rotteenager

The castle is in serious need of repair after a particularly bad battle and the paladins are stuck on a luckily peaceful and welcoming planet for several months. Having warded off the galra trying to attack their planet, the inhabitants are so happy that they throw the paladins a huge parade (lance is so excited he might shed more than a few happy tears).

Allura is slightly concerned that they don’t have the parts they need for their ship repairs nor do they have the money (or correct currency) to purchase them. During the parade, she sees how enamored the citizens are with the paladins and gets An Idea™.

  • Within a few weeks, Allura is running a full-blown merch business. 
  • The planet has some version of the internet and Pidge puts together a webstore. Sales go crazy.
  • They make shitty felt fake paladin armor and plastic bayards.
    • Shiro is forced to model all of it.
    • At first, it weirds them the fuck out when they head into the city and little aliens come running up to them in paladin costumes.
    • They have contests to see who is the most popular paladin by counting how many kids wear their armor.
      • Hunk wins. Hunk always wins.
      • And Lance sulks for two days afterwards.
    • One time Hunk saw a little boy cooking with his mom in yellow armor and he just c r i e s
  • Little paladin action figures that say phrases when you push a button on them.
    • Shiro’s is “Paladins, form Voltron!” and the rest of the paladins didn’t realize the involuntary reactions they had developed in response to that phrase until a little kid pushes Shiro-toy’s button in public. Lance turned so fast he swears he got whiplash.
    • When you push Keith’s it’s just a lot of angry yelling.
    • Allura trying to record for the toys: “Pidge can you PLEASE keep this pg” “I think the fuck not.”
  • Little alien kids just beating the shit out of each other with their fake bayards. 
    • Lance tries to join in but “WOOOAAHHH buddy you have a actual gun Not Plastic can you please think through something for once in your life goddammit Lance.”
    • Keith has a secret soft spot for kids and everyone watches dumbfounded as he teaches excited little aliens basic sword fighting maneuvers and spars them with plastic swords.
  • “WHOEVER REPLACED MY BAYARD WITH A PLASTIC ONE AGAIN

btw crystalfishbowl helped me create these

gotham rogues: *mercilessly beating the shit out of each other in an alleyway to show affection*

flash rogues: *crying and holding onto each other* they just - they just do that…? they live like this? 

Friendship Extremes You Encounter

Turk and JD friends: you are in love with them, would follow them anywhere- including Mount Doom a la Sam and Frodo (you’ve discussed it), you sometimes think about the word ‘platonic soulmates’ unironically, you plan out this person’s weddng and how they should be proposed to because they’re worth it & deserve roses and romance and shit. You’re a little worried you’ll never find a significant other you like as much as them.

vs

It’s Always Sunny Friends: would beat each other up in a Denny’s park lot over how to pronounce the word ‘crayon,’ scheming is a regular part of your activities- all of them are bad ones. One of you would yell ‘choke me daddy’ in public to spite the other one, probably can’t live without each other but also ready to stab each other over vore memes or fries. Shit talk each other regularly, but also ready to fight anyone who insults them even a little bit.

Some of my fav pics of Haechan

Author’s Note: This pic set includes:

Cute Haechan, Candid Haechan, Rude Haechan, Boyfriend Haechan and Pre-debut Haechan! (plus, captions expressed by yours truly)

// Putting this under a “keep reading” bcuz its hella long srz no I’m not lmao //

Keep reading

men don’t realize that they understand the point of women’s liberation, but they do. they understand it very well.

every time a dude says some shit like, “oh, you’re for equality of the sexes? does that mean I can hit you?” he is demonstrating his perfect understanding of the shortcomings of egalitarianism.

men target women for not being men, but men don’t only target women. men also beat the shit out of each other. men rape each other. men kill each other. men treat each other like absolute shit.

virtually all of the violence that occurs on this planet is committed by males, whether it’s committed against females or against other males. men tell us every day, in no uncertain terms, that they believe “equality” means “violence.” equality with these barbarians? I think not.

liberation from their generations-old, ironclad system of perpetual violence and destruction? yes, please. sign me up.

“A commitment to sexual equality with men is a commitment to becoming the rich instead of the poor, the rapist instead of the raped, the murderer instead of the murdered.” –Andrea Dworkin

the (murder) squad™
 
@excailzkrossmazi @denovember @sharpibees i hope yall can forgive me