so voldemort had a child. with bellatrix. this means they had sex, obviously, which means that they actually had a sexual relation, with penetration. so if he is incapable of love did he just sit there unfazed, or was his snake-dick capable of an orgasm? if yes, can anyone imagine the freaking dark lord orgasming and moaning? is that why moaning myrtle’s dilemma about was included? as some time of ~foreshadowing-? and what if they didnt have penetrative sex. what if bella go inseminated? so voldy just masturbated and collected his sperm? so many questions about this. did he collect it in hufflepuff’s cup? and did he masturbate to pictures of snakes? of his horcruxes? or just beated that piece of meat until his semen came out? please j.k, explain. this is what we want to know. but wait, this is not it. delphi is 20-something years, so she was made when voldemort was noseless. BELLATRIX HAD SEX WITH NOSELESS VOLDY. ok so if we get pass this, when was she pregnant? because it must be like a year before the battle. but when the golden trio was captured, she had a flat stomach. and so this leads to my next question. was the baby developed in her mother’s uterus or was she somehow incubated in an egg like a snake. so. many. damn. q u e s t i o n s. im not even done! who raised the child? why didnt she want to meet her mother? why did she pretend to be a diggory? why did bella cheat on rudolphus? why wasnt the baby a horcrux?
Protip: If your relationship with someone is mostly as acquaintances, or platonic friendship, don’t make make sexually charged comments at them. Don’t tell them without prompting that you fantasize sexually or beat your meat to them. That’s like a verbal dick pic. Wait until you’re on much more familiar terms before you so much as test the waters on that one. Mutual sexual interest is fine, but if you come out of the blue at someone with “zomg you’re so hot I fap” it’s more than a little disquieting, to the point it’s all they’re gonna be able to think about when they see you, and again, unless they’ve already communicated some level of desire to you, that’s not a good thing.