Okay but i swear to you i will sacrifice my entire being for someone to write that pens!bitty fic or one shot. I need like air
(Alright, you monsters, I did this one, but I’m not great with RPF so this is probs it for Pens!Bitty <3 tw for concussion)
A sprained ankle here, a blown ACL there, and Bitty’s on the Penguins starting line flanking Sidney Crosby like it’s nothing. Like it’s no big deal he’s racking up assists left and right for the man who is going to displace two of Bad Bob’s career records this season. Like Eric didn’t have a debilitating fear of physical contact less than five years ago and is now playing for a team defending a championship title.
From behind, Sid looks like Jack. Or at least he has Jack’s ass, which is a hell of a thing to realize after being slammed into the boards. He’s disoriented enough to ask, “Jack?” when his captain skates up to check on him.
“Bittle, you okay?“
Eric blinks and the illusion is gone. No Jack, no Samwell, just the Pittsburgh Penguins beating the snot out of the New Jersey Devils. And the Devils beating the snot out of Eric.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Eric says, pulling himself to his feet and blinking through a blossoming headache. “You know you look a lot like Jack Zimmermann from behind?”
“Better not be a crack about my ass, Bittle,” Crosby elbows him lightly, herding him back to the bench.
“Aboot,” Eric echoes, “I wouldn’t joke about your ass, Captain. Special kind of cheek meat.“
That didn’t come out right…and why are the lights so bright? Are they always this bright?
Crosby slides to a stop and Eric bumps right into him. “You sure you aren’t concussed?” Though he’s asking, Eric can clearly see Sid waving over a trainer. Eric takes a moment to reflect on his situation, what he’s just said to his teammate.
“No, but you really look like my boyfriend.”
“You just said I look like Zimmermann.”
“I know. Jack Zimmermann looks like my boyfriend.”
Crosby connects invisible dots in midair with his finger. “I look like Jack Zimmermann, who looks like your boyfriend, who looks like me.”
“Yes. No?” That sounds right. Kinda.
“Bittle. Do I look like your boyfriend from behind?”
Eric nods, even though the motion makes his world tilt sideways.
“I look like your boyfriend, Jack Zimmermann, from behind.”
“Yes.” Wait. That’s a secret. “Shit, that’s a secret.”
“Fuck, yeah, you’re sitting this period out, buddy.”
Malkin slides up beside Crosby and gives Eric a once over. “What’s wrong with him?”
“Got his bell rung, thinks I’m his boyfriend.” Crosby slaps the rail twice with his glove and shoots Eric a wink. A couple of the boys whistle and holler while the trainer shines a light in Eric’s eyes. The part of Eric’s brain still functioning properly is probably really upset right now.
“I don’t think it’s a concussion, he’s just dazed.”
“I’m ready to go in, coach, just give me a chance.” Eric jokes, though no one laughs. “Ace Ventura? No?”
The arena turns sideways along with Eric’s stomach and he burps wetly. Sullivan makes a face and says something to the trainer and just like that Eric is being directed to the locker room for further examination.
Eric hopes this makes for a really funny story later.
Someone told me that the scene from Rick & Morty where buff Rick & buff Summer beat up the Devil is on the TV in the background of the Justice League trailer; and that sounded like total bullshit until I checked it out and
country songs about breaking out of prison, defying southern female gender roles, beating the devil in fiddling contests, and killing abusive men are probably the single best thing about redneck culture
❝there’s no such thing as singular in jungkook’s book of kisses. only plural. ►1870 words // scenario ♡ this is for @cno-inbminor bc we reached our 200th day snapstreaksary (it’s a word i swear) and this is a little overdue but here it is i tried my best and it’s short but i LOVE YOU KAREN
Jungkook was a person who could be satisfied (and happy) with the littlest of things in life or, could find significance in anything he came across with.
One, you (not to be taken literally but hey, he does use the benefit of being taller and you know when you’re shorter you have a better aim at his di-). Two, discounted prices on set meals he wants to eat. Three, finding a dollar lying on the floor and claiming it as his even though he knows damn well it fell from your purse but finders keepers losers weepers. Four, Jimin and Taehyung messing with Hoseok, only got get a beating after and his devil ass is watching from the side the whole time. And last but not least, sleeping until the sun breaks through the window and rakes his ass awake.
He was a heavy sleeper and that, ladies and gentlemen, was not a surprising thing at all. God no. Almost everyone around him had experienced troubles waking him up at least once (thrice) in their lifetime. As quoted from none other than Kim Seokjin and editing from Kim Namjoon: “That boy can sleep until the world burns down and he’ll wake up being alone.” (end scene)
It was all about getting used to, in your opinion. You’d gauge around the time he’d wake up and plan your day on from there. See, if you can’t change the boy’s habit, change the way you work things around. Simple. (unless you’re living with six other guys who gives no shit with your sleeping habits then kudos to you, good luck chap, better luck next life)
“Zaman! Zaman! Zaman nedir? İsviçreliler onu imal eder. Fransızlar onu stoklar. İtalyanlar onu arar. Amerikalılar onun para oldugunu söyler. Hindular onun var olmadığını söyler. Benim ne dedigimi bilmek ister misin? Ben zaman bir hırsızdır diyorum.”
B A C K W A T E R W I T C H C R A F T ( T H E S E C O N D )
“an ancient suitcase full of beeswax candles and unknown bones wrapped in dirty burlap, gris-gris bags and jars of anointing oil.”
(a convenient followup 8tracks playlist of my favourite voodoo blues, southern gothic, swamp witch sounds)
[ tracklist ]
I Put a Spell On You - Joss Stone | Don’t Go Into That Barn - Tom Waits | Black - Kari Kimmel | Special Death - Mirah | Black Cat Bone - Lightnin’ Hopkins | Gold Dust Woman - Fleetwood Mac | Instructions to Meet the Devil - Tom Brosseau | House of the Rising Sun - Lauren O'connell | Oh Death - Rising Appalachia | Black and Evil Blues - Josh White | Diggin’ My Grave - William Elliot Whitmore | Season of the Witch - Donovan | Beat the Devil Tattoo - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club | Mississippi Queen - Mountain | No Place to Hide - Jace Everett | She Belongs to the Devil - Washboard Sam | Little Drop of Poison - Tom Waits | Sign of the Gypsy Queen - April Wine | Black Magic Woman - Santana | The Love Me or Die - C.W. Stoneking | Nothing But the Water (Part 1) - Grace Potter and the Nocturnals