beat ed

4

Shoutout to team Woof for getting me through the days. Dad has been back in hospital since Saturday and is really not well at all, there’s still a blockage in the bile duct (despite the surgery to remove the stone?!) so he was readmitted. Terrible jaundice but wow it’s been an awakening for us all.
Last night I got quite teary, as he said how “grateful” he was for me and proud, too. Also how sorry he was for the last few months, he admitted he’s been “really down and angry” and confessed how physically unwell he’s get for “well over a year.” He just didn’t want to cause a “fuss” when I was unwell too 😖 that only motivates me, I want to be strong for both of us now.
Which involves action. Talking doesn’t change, just as dad learnt, so after CBT i was in the hospital shop and thought “fuck you” to anorexia. All these foods I would never “allow” myself… but why? Would I say others couldn’t have it? So I picked up a few things that jumped out and used to be Sophie favourites. These eat natural bars were my favourite in IP so they are back on that list for afternoon snack.
Yesterday I had this strange sense of… just do it? I wasn’t planning to fortisip but just grabbed it and downed it on one. Gave insulin after and that was that. The world didn’t end.
After dinner I grabbed a mini moo chocolate that had been sat there for months and ate it on the way to the hospital (visiting dad).
Today in CBT I cried, properly cried, and said “I just want the nutrition, I WANT the nutrition in me. It’s getting it in.” So calorie density is the answer.
The F word is going to have to Eff off, because in order to turn this round I can’t avoid it. Safety safe isn’t going to cut it.
R said that she DOES believe CBT is the right treatment for me and sees huge progress in my mental state. My physical state needs to catch up and allow me to move further forward.
It’s time to be brave Soph. It’s time to be brave.

It’s dawning on me just how genuinely difficult it is to figure out if an FMA character is good or bad when they’re introduced.

And this is because literally 90% of them debut by trying to beat the shit out of Ed. Seriously. If you tally up every good/ally character at the end and divide them into “tried to beat up Ed in their introductory episode” and “did not try to beat up Ed”, I’m willing to bet the first category is larger. 

A list of eventually “good” characters who were introduced by assaulting Edward Elric:

  • Roy Mustang
  • Winry Rockbell (manga introduction)
  • Scar
  • Izumi Curtis
  • Greed
  • Greed again
  • Slicer(s)
  • Tim Marcoh
  • Ling Yao
  • Lanfan
  • Fu
  • Mei Chang
  • Buccaneer
  • The Entire Briggs Mountain Army
  • Jerso
  • Zampano
  • Darius
  • Heinkel

I made a helpful collage

Extra fun fact, the series Big Bad, Father, is introduced to Ed by healing Ed’s wounds. Ed and Al spend at least five minutes of that episode thinking “Maybe this dude isn’t so bad” which honestly I understand when you consider 2/3 of the people Ed meets typically try to kill him.

This [year] has been the first time I’ve ever actually had time to fall in love, properly… The catalyst of taking a year off was also the fact that-my partner-she quit her job, in New York, which she’s now got back in London. We were just basically like ‘let’s both quit our jobs and let’s have a year of forming a tight bond and a relationship’. So we went travelling and spent every day, for a year, together. You really know whether you’re going to be with someone when your in a country that’s kind of intense. And you’re using bottles of water to shower each other, and there’s not really much food-you really feel you’re meant to be with someone at points like that… We’re very, very strong. I’ve never been happier, I’ve never been more comfortable, I’ve never been more inspired. I just feel like everything’s fallen into place because I’ve given it the time to fall into place.
—  Ed Sheeran Interview with Zane Lowe Beats 1

I love how the series uses modern slang. I love it.

I only wish the disease would’ve happened after 2016. And they would just use memes to describe shit. And still look back at 2016 as a mistake.
Like

*Ed ranting*

Ed: I just wish the disease never happened!

Kyle: I honestly think its an improvement

Ed: ….

Kyle: ….

Ed: …?

Kyle: 2016 was a nightmare

Ed: true

Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You as performed by SASER on caklempong, a traditional Malaysian orchestra sorta reminiscent of gamelan.

(via)

anonymous asked:

i love the "get you kit off line" because its so THEM. its not them trying to be a 19th century epic romance. or heteronormative. its just them. boys. together. being thirsty. i love it.

YES ANON

IT’S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC BUT MOST AMAZING THING

ROBERT HAS SPENT LITERALLY ALL DAY WANTING TO BONE HIS BOYFRIEND U KNOW LIKE WHY ARE THEY WASTING PRECIOUS TIME THAT COULD BE SPENT NAKED AND TOUCHING EACH OTHER’S DICKS HMMMMMMMMM

AND ROBERT SAYS IT IN SUCH A SMUG DEMANDING WAY AND ITS AMAZING

AND AARON GOES FROM “WE HAVE SOMETHING V IMPORTANT I NEED TO TALK TO U ABOUT” TO “FUCK IT LETS GO” IN THE SPACE OF LIKE 3 SECONDS

LOOK IT’S JUST ICONIC

I C O N I C

some days i remember how Envy killing Hughes eventually led to Ed beating Pride, and i’m like, damn that’s some good progression

  • Hughes snoops around for information
  • Envy kills him
  • Roy leads a personal hunt to find Hughes’ murderer
  • Envy frames Maria Ross to cover his tracks
  • Ed sees Roy “kill” Maria and is sent (read: kidnapped) to take a vacation to the Xerxes ruins, where he learns Maria is not, in fact, dead
  • Ed sees half of the Xerxes Human Transmutation circle at the ruins
  • Later on, Ed, Envy and Ling end up in Glutton’s stomach
  • Ed figures out how to escape because the other half of the Xerxes circle is in Gluttony’s stomach
  • Ed has to use the souls in Envy’s philosopher’s stone to pay the toll
  • which means Ed learned how it feels to use human life
  • Ed later uses this knowledge to save his own life when he’s impaled by the beam; he remembers how it feels to use human life as an energy source and uses his own life force in the same way to patch up his wound
  • Later on, Pride tries to take over Ed’s body, but Ed forces himself into Pride’s philosopher’s stone, thanks to all the knowledge he gained before (human transmutation, using souls, using himself like a philosopher’s stone), and (with Kimblee’s help) finally beats Pride

like. damn. that is some good progression

i know im strong, i know i can get through this, i know im stronger than my illness and that ill be okay, even if i know ill never actually be okay healthwise.

but fuck am i tired of having to deal with this, of having to expect this and accept this.

people assume when i complain about my illness that im giving up, but im just complaining because thats ALL i can do.

nothing will help me or cure me, all i have is my chance to talk about how done i am with being sick.

i wish i could do that without someone worrying that im letting my illness beat me

I can’t help but think the guards beating Ed gave him horrible flashback to his childhood! That hit me when I watched the scene. We have never seen Ed geting beaten like that, when cops and Strange’s men has taken care of him they have just surrounded him and held him or pushed him forward to walk. Which just makes me believe he hasn’t been beaten like that since he left home, which was a long time ago. Now we saw Ed looking at the guards and he had no time to react before he was down on the floor getting beaten and screaming! I think that this exact scenario has happened to Ed too many times, lying helpless on the floor screaming and begging his father to stop the beating but it didn’t stop, it felt like it would never stop. And I just can’t see how this could do anything else but bring all those terrible memories back.

Then the dialogue with Oswald. Oswald says he is happy that Ed got beaten up and the look on Ed’s face is just ugh. 

Ofc there are tons of emotions right there and then for the whole situation too. But Oswald basically said Ed deserved to get beaten up and I can imagine that’s exactly what his father has told him every time it happened…

I hope this was a glance of more to come. I hope that we get to dive into Ed’s background and childhood in season 4 because there is so much to make on that! Sad and hurtful yes but that’s Gotham.