beast house

so my best friend and I were joking around and were like: what if students at Hogwarts had a youtube channel?

and then things went downhill.

  • What I Eat In A Day At Hogwarts | Neville Longbottom
  • Triwizard Tournament Haul // Cho Chang
  • weird things brothers fight about | the twins
  • Book Recommendations #43 | Hermione Granger
  • types of people at the yule ball | parvati patil
  • Hogwarts Houses Stereotypes | Luna Lovegood w/ Ginny Weasley
  • DEALING WITH HATERS | #AskDraco
  • never have i ever | Hufflepuff Edition
  • 10 Things Only Prefects Understand | Percy Weasley
  • Reading Weird Muggle Stories || Ron Weasley
  • Witch Talk | Feminism, Sexism & Objectification | Hermione Granger w/ Luna Lovegood & Ginny Weasley
  • PUBLIC FLYING PRANK | the twins
  • spells against humanity || blaise zabini
  • How To Speak Fluent Sarcasm | Ginny Weasley
  • MY CRAZY BODY TRANSFORMATION || Remus Lupin
  • Common Room Tour | The Ravenclaws
  • I ONCE STOLE MY DAD’S CAR || Ron Weasley
  • THE BOYFRIEND TAG | Dean Thomas w/ Seamus Finnigan
  • Teachers Impressions in 5 minutes! | Ginny Weasley
  • Guess The Magical Creature // Luna Lovegood
  • how well do we know each other? - Harry James Potter ft. Ron Weasley
  • Daily Quidditch Workout | Oliver Wood
  • battle scars cover // Harry James Potter
  • I GOT PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY A GRYFFINDOR? #AskDraco
  • Last Minute DIY Christmas Jumpers | Molly Weasley
  • New Bathroom Accessories | Moaning Myrtle
  • What’s In My Case | Newt Scamander
  • Going Through My Old Diary | The Dark Lord
The Houses and Humo(u)r
  • Gryffindor: Blunt, decisive comments that you either think are hysterical or extremely insulting. Gets loud when telling a joke, laughs super heartily, turns red in the face, etc.
  • Hufflepuff: Is so into the tag yourself meme and internet jokes in general. Loves to repeat jokes they've read online or in a magazine (or heard in general), none that are particularly aggressive or forthcoming on any particular stances. Loves when everyone is laughing together, hides face when laughing, laughs until crying.
  • Slytherin: Brutal one liners and sarcastic comments, cutting remarks that are so funny that you can't help but laugh, mocks own pretentiousness, makes the worst faces, is actually an idiot. Laughs in this weird-ass way so that no sound comes out and they just never break eye contact
  • Ravenclaw: Either tells a terrible pun, a joke about academia, or a dirty joke, there is no in-between. Likes to see the extreme reactions from friends, instead of laughing, they just have a giant, doofy grin.
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Marksandrec’s Super Dooper Popcorn Party #293

(In my head, it’s like a cactus-creature. It moves. For, y’know, context.) (Dialogue from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.)

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Ilvermorny Aesthetics: Wampus // Pukwudgie // Thunderbird // Horned Serpent

Hogwarts Aesthetics: Slytherin // Ravenclaw // Hufflepuff // Gryffindor

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Kawaii Ilvermorny House Crests!! Because can we talk about the fact that 3 are basically fancy animals and the other is actually a tiny grey man?! 🙃 (That can turn into a porcupine 😂)

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Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry ~ Houses🏰 (my tag: goodoldneonslocks)

Wampus: the body

Horned Serpent: the mind

Thunderbird: the soul

Pukwudgie: the heart

Harry Potter Themed Asks
  1. Which Hogwarts house are you? 
  2. Who is your favourite professor at Hogwarts?
  3. Would you have an owl, cat, or toad?
  4. Favourite character and why?
  5. Pro or anti Marauders? 
  6. Avada Kedavra, Crucio, or Imperio?
  7. Favourite book and why?
  8. Who do you think was the best father figure towards Harry?
  9. Favourite movie and why?
  10. Which character do you relate to most, and why?
  11. Who was the most evil character?
  12. Thoughts on Severus Snape?
  13. Who was the bravest character in Harry Potter and why?
  14. Best subject at Hogwarts?
  15. Worst subject at Hogwarts?
  16. Who would be your enemy or enemies at Hogwarts?
  17. Who would be your best friend at Hogwarts?
  18. If available, would you use a love potion on someone?
  19. Favourite Weasley?
  20. Favourite Death Eater?
  21. What would your boggart be?
  22. What is your patronus? 
  23. Fuck, marry, kill *Insert 3 characters*
  24. How do you feel about Cursed Child?
  25. How do you feel about Fantastic Beasts?
Each house as: fantastic beasts
  • Gryffindor: Thunderbird - strong, legendary, literal storm
  • Hufflepuff: Bowtruckle - peaceful, often shy, loyal friend
  • Ravenclaw: Demiguise - rare, observant, requires to go beyond the predictable (precognitive sight)
  • Slytherin: Occamy - intimidant, adaptable, fiercely protective of its eggs
Fantastic Beasts Headcanon:

Newt would have made an excellent Slytherin.

There are countless reasons why our favorite Magizoologist is perfect for Hufflepuff house.  However, I think it would have been almost as easy to place him in Slytherin. 

Yes, he is unconditionally kind and gentle, but he will also bend most rules to get what he wants.  He’s ambitious to the extreme- willing to go to new countries and continents, and break countless laws just to set one creature free.  Despite his social awkwardness, he has no problem lying about his case to muggles and wizards alike to keep his beasts safe from harm.  He’s cunning, despite his outward appearance.

When Graves confronts Tina in the Wand Permit Office and asks to see inside Newt’s case for a look at the creature she brought him in for, we see that little side glance from Newt.  It looks like nerves.  But let’s back up a bit.

This is the case that Newton Scamander has spent his entire career on.  Every creature he adores is inside of it.  Does it really seem plausible that he wouldn’t realize it had been switched for another?  No.

So.

Newt knew that Jacob had taken the wrong case when he escaped.  Newt made to follow, but was apprehended by Tina.  When he realized just what he was being taken in for, it made much more sense to follow along quietly, pretend the muggle’s case had been his all along, and track down Jacob later rather than admit to having an entire menagerie of dangerous creatures on his person. 

In fact, Newt displays most of the tributes Salazar Slytherin himself valued most in students- cleverness, resourcefulness, and a large disregard for rules.  I definitely think that Newt belongs in Hufflepuff, but when you look at it from a different angle, it isn’t so hard to see why one of his closest friends from Hogwarts was very likely a Slytherin herself.   

Newt Scamander aesthetic 💛

Okay but I just want everyone to understand

the best thing about Ilvermorny being in Massachusetts is that this brings up a bunch of stupid fucking Massachusetts headcanons about wizardry: 

-Professors with disgusting Boston accents 

-The platform for Ilvermorny HAS to be at North station

-enchanted MBTA commuter rail 

-the division between NY and Mass wizards going deeper than house rivalry 

-the Red Sox curse being ACTUAL dark magic 

-confirmed wand fights over Sox vs Yankees and Patriots vs literally everyone not from new England

-a Dunkin Donuts suspiciously close to the school that is always looking for workers because people are terrified of working the nightshift there. 

-Magical Dunkin Donuts 

-There’s an underground passage at the school (a la Whomping Willow and One Eyed Witch) that exits at the old Harvard station.

-On the train ride to Ilvermorny, students like to fire off spells. The stray magic wreaks havoc on cars between the station and the school, making them nearly impossible to drive and making the drivers seem exceedingly reckless. MASSHOLES EXPLAINED 

-The real reason the Pumpkinfest riots happened at Keane State was because Ilvermorny wizards decided to crash and cast some drunk spells without realizing the consequences, once something caught fire, people rioted. Student wizards are not well liked in New Hampshire

-There’s a reason why Boston is “the hub of the universe”: wizarding folk powerful in astrology and divination gather there for readings more accurate and powerful than anywhere else.

-There was a gang of dark wizard students, who caused an unbelievable amount of mayhem and panic one day. The local magical authorities realized it would be almost impossible to totally wipe the memory from everyone’s minds. One wizard joked, saying that they’re going to come up with some ridiculous excuse like a family of ducks trying to walk through the city.

PLEASE ADD MORE SHITTY NEW ENGLAND HEADCANONS