bearenstain-bears

Check please characters and levels of omniscience

Jack: does not realize that their world is fictional at all. We all know this. Sometimes he wished it was tho.

Shitty: understands that a Great Something caused a rift between their universe and an alternate timeline somewhere around the 60’s. Like the Bearenstain Bears only its the BearenBad Bob. Tho he himself cannot pin point this exact event

Bitty: is aware that his tweets and parts of his vlogs are sent to another dimension yes

Chowder: Very omniscient. The Sharks aren’t even a real team in the Check please! universe he reached into the void and the void plopped Joe Pavelski, Martin Jones, and a Shit Ton of Merch into this Boy’s Lap. No one has pieced together that he’s rooting for a team from another alternate reality, they just think he really likes sharks. Or it’s like some obscure peewee team. He hides that he is All Knowing tho and sometimes that can make him come off as a little dumb. But he’d rather seem kinda silly than break Johnson’s trust and also break the universe (because. Johnson did offer that power to him. In canon. We just don’t know which pill our dear Chris took)

Tango: is actually from our Dimension. He just fucking Blue Skadoo’d his way into Ngozi’s blog one day. Feels kinda bad that it’s a self insert fic basically so he tries to move the plot along by asking questions he already knows the answers to. Questionably good at it. Like a crappy time traveler.

Farmer: a beam of sunshine who writes a lot of creepy pastas and like sixpenceeee stories and like that Glitch in the Matrix Reddit feed and all that. May not totally doubt her reality yet but if someone (Like Chowder) were to back up her claims she would believe their world is fictional in a second.

Nursey: that poor boy’s depression makes it so he’s already doubting if he’s real or not Please Do Not Tell Him and Make Him Suffer More

Dex: shockingly aware, not much but more than you’d expect. like he’ll look into the camera like he’s on the office and know that there’s an audience staring back. Likes to Tell Nursey and Make Him Suffer More.

Kent Parson: knows it’s fake but doesn’t understand the Genre of media that their reality is. Most days he takes the phrase “Sports Anime” v seriously. Thinks he is the anime protagonist of everybody’s dreams, once dyed his hair pink to prove it (or did he stop dying it blonde? #thetruthisoutthere). Someone tells him he’s the white haired anime boy antagonist and Kent cries for a week. Other days he is convinced it’s a Disney Feel Good Sports Movie™ about overcoming obstacles and the first openly gay NHL player. One time he thought it was a YA novel written by John Green.

Kit Purrson: Brown bear brown bear what do you see?
A L L

Ransom: slays ass in multiple dimensions of reality.

Holster: “yes, I’m a bisexual. I’m sexually attracted to people in our fictional reality AND in the real one”

Only when R and H combine their powers can they summon the in between white void between universes for Hockey Shit. They can also make chalk boards appear and disappear. They’re like the Wonder Twins if the wonder twins could manage to get even crappier.

Whiskey: doesn’t know. Doesn’t care. Once smoked one (1) pot and came close to understanding the Void but not quite enough and it didn’t stick.

Lardo: is aware that she’s occasionally the Token Lady Friend in a Male Driven Story so she uses this to her advantage to be as Gay™ as possible. She wants more ladies. She needs more ladies. Lardo/More Ladies 2k16. A future we can believe in.

Tater: his phone ring tone is Samwise Gamgee going “Taters? PO TAY TOES? Boil em mash em stick em in a stew”. He hasn’t even ever seen the lord of the rings movies. Shit wait I forgot what that has to do with him being omniscient. It doesn’t. It’s just another fact about him.
He doesn’t know their universe is fictional but he does know every single Falconer’s “real person equivalent” in the rest of the NHL from other teams. Has accidentally called himself Evgeni before.

Bad Bob: and on the eighth day, Ngozi created Bobert and Alicia and they walked in the garden of wonderful pansexual hockey love together. And Ngozi pointed to the tiny Jack Zimmermann growing there and said “don’t u shake this Jack too soon don’t u place your fictional hockey man expectations on him let him be” and so Babe Bbb did not. Until one day, The devil, who is also known as Ngozi, came and shook the poor Jappling and pointed the finger at Bib Boob. He and Alicia were banished from the Garden. The rest, as they say, is history.

Reading more on that multiverse theory thing a bit and okay okay. We all know (or a good portion know) that there’s a theory that we’re in another universe after switching over due to the fight over Berenstein bears vs Bearenstain. So, okay, remember that whole ‘universe going to end in 2012′?

What if it did?

Hear me out, I can’t be the only one who keeps thinking something feel slightly…off, ever since that year, right? Nothing you can place, but like all the furniture in the house was moved an inch to the left. You know? What if that universe did end but we just switched conciousness over to another one? A very, very simliar one with only slight differences?

Or it was a misprint and I’ve been reading/watching too much sci-fy.

Either or.

Everyone who remembers BerenstEin had some sort of tragic NDE (near death experience), whether they remember it or not.
But it wasn’t an NDE
You died that day.
When you died, youre conciousness moved to the nearest parallel universe, AKA the BerenstAin universe.
Death doesn’t exist.

(Copypasted from /x/, I swear to fuck it was bearenstein bears when I was a kid)

This Berenstein thing was the first thing I read when I woke up this morning. Right before I woke up, I was dreaming about a parallel earth. This is what I saw in my dream.
In my dream, teleportation had been invented and a black hole was coming near our solar system.
The remedy for the black hole problem was to pinpoint the center of the black hole and teleport it to the other end of the solar system, past our world. I got to go on the spaceship with the team of scientists who were given this task.
As soon as they turned on the machine to teleport the black hole, it took a chunk out of space and the sky opened up to show another earth.
On the top of the earth, covered by a dark film (that I instinctually knew we could only see because we were outside that universe, looking in through the shell of a black hole) was heaven. Below was hell.
I looked at our earth and knew it was the same.
That’s all I remember.
I just want my Bearenstein Bears back.

The Bearenstain Bears and the Female Fullback

Oh, Heaven help us, I’ve found another cartoon about a girl conquering the men’s athletic realm. This time it’s from the second Bearenstain Bears animated series from 2003. Although this is a very simple cartoon, its effort to avoid the politics of its subject matter gives it an interesting agenda of its own.

Bearenstainland is a quaint, rustic community. The fiddle dominates the soundtrack. And “The Female Fullback” is a weirdly old-fashioned affair. This time around, the boys want Betsy, a gifted female athlete, to join the football team and basically do all the heavy lifting for them. Instead, Betsy trains them in the skills they need to succeed on their own so she doesn’t have to join the team, evidently because she recognizes the value of teaching a bear to fish. I found it interesting that the plot should give Betsy a noble excuse not to rock the boat by becoming the star player on a boys’ football team. And she would definitely be the star player, beginning the cartoon outdoing each member of the football team in their specialties.

To the episode’s credit, the male football players are never skeptical, confused or offended by the fact that a girl should be better at sports than they are. That’s an innovation that not even YouTube saw coming. The most-liked comment on “Female Fullback” describes expecting a little sexist outrage from the bear known only by the nickname Too-Tall:

Amusingly, Brother bear’s football team only has four members, and after this scene the unnamed fourth player disappears, never to return. Even during the big game at the end of the episode, only the three named members of Brother’s team are seen, and they win the game with no apparent participation by other players who might be offscreen. 

Am I the only one who doesn’t remember this show? I had never heard of or seen anything about this show before a few months before The Force Awakens released. Wikipedia says it aired from 2003-05, but I don’t remember ever seeing it. Before 2015, I had never seen anyone even mention its existence. Is this like that Bearenstein/Bearenstain Bears parallel universe shit? Like I am genuinely concerned. Why do I not remember this show? Is anyone like this? Why does everyone but me know about this?