beards & tattoos

Yesterday marks 11 months since I signed up for my gym membership. I couldn’t have made a better decision for myself. Honestly, without the consistent pride that I had flowing from my progress it would have been far more difficult to make it through this past year.

Between having the worst string of luck with jobs, consistent failures at love, a flood that devastated my home, and other disappointments I could have been extremely down on myself and dipped back in my depression. I’ve worked too hard and remained way too positive at this point. If I falter, I know that it only will last a short time and I can pick myself back up and move forward.

The way I used to see things is that each problem, I will never forget. They’ll make me become a better person, but they’ll always be a weight on my shoulders. A weight that I would take on to become stronger.

Eventually I noticed that the weight from those problems in the past, were less than they were initially. That made me start to think that something may bother me right in this instant and it could set me off, right? Well, after a day…I’m not as mad. After a week…even less. After a month…I’ve probably forgotten about it. After a year…I might not even remember if someone brought it up. My thought process then went to, if it won’t bother me that much down the line then why should I let it bother me so much now?

This thought process has driven me to being almost obnoxiously positive. I’ve found myself getting over things at alarming rates. Sometimes I even question if I even care about shit anymore. I honestly still do because I put my whole heart into things, but I know that it won’t always work. I’m sure there are some downsides to my way of coping with things, but so far it’s working swell for me.

Fitness has been a huge driving force for all of this. It’s the one thing that I can look on and have evidence on my progress. No one can deny me this achievement. You don’t have to be proud of me because I am. You can’t make me feel bad about myself because I know I’ve become better and will continue to become better. Inside and out.

I will strive for improvements and I will push those in my life to do the same. I won’t become complacent again. Too much has happened and I can’t settle.

Rant over.