so i forget what Halloween it was, but we decided to go as classic carnifolk- my sis was a fortune teller, bro-in-law was the strongman, and i was the bearded lady.
i could understand why that would offend an actual bearded woman, but the simple fact is if i had just stopped using hair removal creams/waxing/epilating/and sometimes shaving my face for a month or so, i’d be sporting a decent chin curtain.
i don’t have hypertricosis, but i do have PCOS, and thus i am blessed with dark hair that grows on my fuckin’ face. and we all know how kindly society takes to women having body hair of any kind, so it’s been a source of agony (literally) keeping it “under control”. for a long time now i’ve been taking care of my ladyburns and chin whiskers.
why i feel the need to talk about this at nearly midnight i don’t know.
well, i drew a picture so i guess it needed some context.
so because i have a great sense of curiosity, i speculated my hairgrowth. i guess i’ve always been fascinated by beards and facial hair; my favorite non-nuclear male relative sported an excellent handlebar moustache for the years i knew him (my paternal grandfather, known affectionately as “Chubby Grandpa”, passed on when i was three or four), and i’m always telling my boyfriend he should try certain styles of beards, muttonchops or goatees, which he never ever does, so then i was like “WELL I’LL DO IT MYSELF… in my head”
i’d clearly curl my ladyburns and sport a classy goat.
and i don’t smoke, and if i did just let my face be, i wouldn’t necessarily start smoking, but i thought “i’d look like a lady dwarf… hey, i need a pipe”- also, churchwarden pipes are rad. if i did smoke tobacco, i’d smoke it from a pipe, and it would be a churchwarden pipe.
Really proud of this curl, especially as my hair’s been a hot steaming mess recently.
I feel like this is a good time to mention that when I was was a kid I always planned on growing the sickest mutton chops when I grew up, and realizing that I was never going to be able to grow a cool beard was like the saddest day of ninth grade ever. Then last year I realized that women can grow sick facial hair, just not me. I’m still trying to get over that one.