beard case

So annoying little trend I’ve noticed at my Petco, and I’m not sure how common it is online but I wanted to post this just in case

Bearded Dragons NEED UVB lighting. Period. End of story. If you don’t have one, get one, because without it they CANNOT absorb calcium and will steal it from their own bones.

I adopted a beardie who had been kept without one and she had head shakes, severely atrophied muscles, and limited range of motion, not to mention mouth rot and other issues. She died at an eighth of her natural life span, with medicine and other care. Not to mention she was probably in lots of pain from having stunted growth.

The same goes for other reptiles. One leopard gecko some one brought to me hadn’t had uvb or calcium ( or much food at all for that matter) had a curved spine and bent legs and toes.

This is a trend that would easily be remidied with research and not impulse buying reptiles. PLEASE get uvb. Learn about these animals because they rely on you for their health.

What’s in your bag beard - Albus Dumbledore Edition

Dumbledore: I heard there was this new trend at my school, that everyone shows what they’re carrying around every day. Since I am the headmaster, I thought I should join in.

Dumbledore: They taste like liquid Sugar.

Dumbledore: Let’s go on.

Dumbledore: Another thing that’s very important to me:

Dumbledore: Music can be quite useful to ease up a tense situation.
I want to introduce you to someone.

Dumbledore: Obviously, a school as big as Hogwarts needs a lot of money, so it’s always good to have a Niffler or two with you.
Let me look for more.

Dumbledore: What the fuck is this?

Dumbledore: How could I forget about this?!


Dumbledore: Baby shoes. Not at all for nostalgic reasons

Dumbledore: Look how tiny they are!

((OOC: Dumbledore out.
In the usual Sami-style I’m late to the party. But you know? Save the best for last ;) Luckily my thread will probably not be the last of this series
Anyway special thanks to @kapitan5o​ for having this amazing idea! And my admiration to everyone who did this so far, y’all were incredibly creative!
Now I’ll shut up))

anonymous asked:

Request: sex with Newt in the water? Lake, sea, river,...?

Haha sure! FYI I do not recommend doing it in water, especially lakes, rivers, oceans, whatever lol Totally not sanitary….do you have any idea how much bacteria is in it? but for creative writings sake fuck that.

Master list

Imagine: Sex with Newt in the Lake.

“Come on, Newt. Just get in.” With a wave of your hand you managed to splash some water onto the wizard, his laugh making you smile. You swam back into the lake, the water sloshing around you in waves. It was a nice break from the usual trudging in mud, or not risking your life to a dragon or two. Though it took a lot of convincing and maybe some begging to get the Hufflepuff to stop researching for a minute and enjoy the lake with you.

“Darling, is this really the best place to be bathing?

“Oh just get in, Scamander.”

Newt grinned at you from atop the large rock, his case laying protectively next to him. The heel of his boots scraped into the stone, and he focused on digging some dirt from his nails as he objected yet again.

“I’m sure the water is freezing.”

“Stop being a child and get in.”

Newt chuckled, finally removing his overcoat and tossing it over his case. “Merlin’s beard, you’re persistent.”

You winked at him, swimming closer to the edge of the grass as he stripped off his attire.

“Must you watch?” He grinned, unbuttoning his shirt and removing his boots. His scarred and clawed skin slowly began to reveal itself, and all you could do was smile. He used to be so insecure about his injuries, at least around you, now he couldn’t possibly care less.

Newt walked into the water, surprised it wasn’t a terrible temperature. As soon as the water hit his lean waist he swam over to you, smiling when you immediately came into his arms. You tangled your fingers into his hair, kissing him softly on the lips.

“That’s much better.”

Newt hummed at that, his hands pulling you closer to him as he deepened the kiss. His tongue traced your bottom lip, making you gasp at the sensation.

“We’re supposed to be bathing…”

Though this was a better alternative in your opinion. Newt pulled away for a second, his green eyes sparkling mischievously at you.

“Don’t pretend. You knew what was bound to happen, my love.”

A giggle was all you managed to get out before he covered your lips with his own, smiling happily into the kiss. He swam you both over towards the grass, getting more of a footing on the rocks under the water. He brushed his fingers along your sides, gripping your thighs tightly as he lifted them up around his hips.

“Ahh…” You sighed as his growing length slid across your folds, making you grind into him so you could feel more. And he happily obliged, his hands cupped your ass, firmly pressing you into him as he ground against you. The friction drove you both wild, lips clumsily pressing together and tongues tangling as you desperately tried to bring each other to the edge.


“I know…” He moaned out, eyes screwed shut as he tried to control his desires. He pulled you off of him, just enough to settle himself at your entrance and enter you slowly.

You gripped his shoulders tightly, his face nestled into your chest as he began to move. The water restricted some of his movements, but he managed to build a steady rhythm that had you both sighing and gasping. He peppered kisses along your breasts, his wet hand sliding up your waist and holding you gently by your back as he thrust forward. His breath came out in shallow pants, hair clinging to the damp skin of your chest as he groaned deeply.

“Darling, you’re amazing…”

You pulled his hair a bit, angling his head up to look at you as you smiled and kissed him. “Faster, Scamander.”

He chuckled, kissing you along your jawline. “I’m trying…”

His fingertips dug into your backside, holding you as close as he could as he attempted to pick up the pace. The resistance of the water was no help, but the view of you wet and moaning, hair stuck to your face was far too beautiful to stop this.

“Oh god, Newt!”

Your lips parted as you purred out his name, and you rolled your hips down onto him as much as you could. You were close, and the constant pressure of his abdomen brushing against your clit was only pushing you closer. He grunted into your chest, pushing you up against a nearby rock as he tried not to lose his footing. The pleasure was becoming too much for him, and his thrusts grew sloppy.

“My love I’m…ah…” Newt let out a soft growl, biting down on your shoulder as he came hard inside of you. You weren’t far behind, and you muffled the sound of your moans into his neck.

You both relaxed back into the water, still lazily holding on to each other. Newt kissed your temple lovingly, smiling when you nuzzled into him and traced one of his scars.

“I love you, Newt.”

He tilted his head, his nose pressing into your cheek as he returned the sentiment. “I love you too, darling.”

WE DO knot ALWAYS LOVE YOU Part 16 Full Translation

The Ceremony


pages 169-179

Eight days since the evening the announcement of the nyuseki was made.

When Kurosaki Ichigo who had just finished afternoon classes returned home, the genkan entryway was filled with shoes of various sizes.

“They’ve already gathered here huh…… I’m home”

Removing his shoes, he headed towards the living room. As he reached his hand over the knob of the door to open it, in an instant, the door opened from the inside and Arisawa Tatsuki came flying out.

“Whoaa, watch out!”

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Personal headcanon: When heroic Edain are described as elf-like, it’s not meant literally. Human heroes don’t really look similar to elves, and can’t generally be confused with elves, unless you have never met both an elf and a human before. They look different, and they move differently. Also, beards. The few cases this might actually be true are when the human has elf blood. Legolas knows at first sight that Imrahil has elvish blood in him, for example, despite the many generations between him and his elvish fore-mother.

The mundane explanation is that humans and elves are both bipedal and similarly formed, so confusing one race for the other occasionally is understandable. It could easily be caused by poor visibility, long distance, having the face obscured, having their back turned, having a particular hair color, dressing like an elf, speaking or responding in one of the elf-tongues, or being unusually tall.

For example, Nienor disguises herself as an elvish marchwarden by putting on a matching grey cloak and being tall enough to blend in (she is so tall that only one marchwarden is taller than her, which is pretty neat). Mîm confuses Turin for an elf “by your speech and your voice.” This makes perfect sense if his speech has the cadence or accent of the Sindarin he spoke during his fostering, or if he is in fact speaking Sindarin.

Turin must be considered separately thanks to this quote, “he was in truth the son of Morwen Eledhwen to look upon: tall, dark-haired and pale-skinned, with grey eyes, and his face more beautiful than any other among mortal men, in the Elder Days. His speech and bearing were those of the ancient kingdom of Doriath, and even among the Elves he might be taken at first meeting for one from the great houses of the Noldor…and many called him Adanedhel, the Elf-man.” Now, the text tells us that Turin could be confused with an elf, but it doesn’t actually show this. His coloring, and height would account for being confused as a Noldor elf as long as he’s clean-shaven, but none of the characters who meet him, like Gwindor or the Falathrim ambassadors, seem to have trouble doing it. Turin was fostered by elves, which would give him knowledge of elven customs and practices that would make it easier to confuse him with biological elves. Calling him elf-man might equally well refer to his elvish habits and upbringing, but I’ll classify Turin as a borderline case.

His cousin Tuor is even weirder, a special case where we have direct proof of a Man being frequently confused by elves as an elf, but Tuor is frequently spiritually grouped with the elves and kind of an outlier. Tuor is cloaked, wearing the armor prepared by Turgon, and standing on a high terrace when Voronwe at first takes Tuor to be an elf. Tuor is confused a second time for an elf while wearing Ulmo’s cloak, but I am explaining that as Ulmo’s magic being the cause, and that something relating to ‘magic’ or the Unseen can cause misidentification. So I’m putting Tuor in a third category labeled ‘who knows.’

Beleg is the only case I know of where an elf is confused for a Man, and again environmental conditions are the contributing factors, “In the dim dusk of a day in midwinter there appeared suddenly among them a Man, as it seemed, of great bulk and girth, cloaked and hooded in white. He had eluded their watchmen, and he walked up to their fire without a word. When men sprang up he laughed and threw back his hood, and they saw that it was Beleg Strongbow. Under his wide cloak he bore a great pack in which he had brought many things for the help of men.” So Beleg’s outline and size are distorted by his clothing and bag.

The other strong possibility is that the description of heroes as elf-like is more of a poetic epithet, and all of the ‘look like elves’ superlative bits are just unfamiliarity with elves or hyperbole and propaganda by the Dunedain. The Silmarillion in-universe has a textual history, and the version we’re reading has been passed down by the scribes of Gondor. Those scribes have a clear motivation for making their ancestors look heroic.

Stories shift and change as generations of storytellers repeat them, and exaggeration of a hero’s characteristics makes for a better story. Ancient epics in our world are full of heroes and villains described in superlatives (god-like Achilles etc.), and I find it reasonable that the same is true of Tolkien’s ancient Edain. Tuor, Turin, Morwen (called Elfsheen for the light of her glance and the beauty of her face) are all characters with high destinies and who are described as elf-like and whose traits could have been exaggerated for narrative effect.

Elvishness also has a thematic context as shorthand for goodness, beauty, and behaving according to tradition and natural law. Even if we know this isn’t an accurate shorthand, it is one that seems to hold weight to an in-universe acculturated reader. In the beginning of the story of Erendis and Aldarion, for example, Erendis is frequently noted to have qualities reminiscent of elves and is also described as looking like an elf. These descriptions disappear entirely in the text as the tale winds down it its unhappy conclusion, culminating in the dismissal of the elven birds when she and Aldarion reject each other permanently. Loss of elvishness correlates to a loss of virtue, alignment with morality and ‘right’. 

The description of men-like-elves by their contemporary Edain can also be explained by the context. When elvishness has social capital, applying this label has power even if it isn’t strictly true or accurate. And being like the elves was a powerful concept among the Dunedain for a long time, both out of genuine admiration and for more pragmatic motives. It was deliberately invoked for political reasons by the three houses of the Edain, the Numenoreans and the Elendili, and their Dunedain descendants in the Third Age.

JustPuttingThatOutThere :)

1- if a larrie could hack they would hack the nugget piece of shit and they wouldn’t post a link that links to Fucking Nothing
2- if it was Not Louis you wouldn’t say it’s a hack wallah
3 - the person who changed and used the website is a c*** who don’t belong with us but the website was blank for a good amount of time
4 - watch out for beards just in case lol
5 - keep fucking streaming the legendary Piece of Art that is SOTT bc you can’t let push and pull / bite tattooed shoulder win even though SOTT already made it history and change in music .. LEGENDARY I SAID .

anonymous asked:

I'm fully convinced Zigi is somewhat real bc of the way they are as a couple I mean she had her head on his shoulder last night it's such a genuine couple thing and ugh I don't support them :(

i’m going to ever so gently and ever so lovingly explain this to you in a couple of parts. firstly:

 Zigith is your regular ol’ garden variety PR stunt bearding.  A PR bearding relationship is made to look at least the tiniest, smidgenest, skotchiestly (I just made that word up)  plausible. The point of a PR beard in Zayn’s case covers a multitude of reasons:

  •  So people don’t think you enjoy enthusiastic dickings on the regular or have Sparkly Hoe Eyes™ for a man, least of all Limothy. If you’ve paid attention to the press about Zigi though, it’s gotten a fair share of roasting [x, x, x, x, x], mostly because of all the Try Hard™. So, with that said, her putting her head on his shoulder in the center of the car in clear view of the cameras for a photo op isn’t something that’s going to make me suddenly have a crisis of belief and pack up my tiny tin hatty little blog. 
  • Promooooooo. While Gigi is clearly the one getting the better end of the deal here (more positive press and a starring role as Zayn’s A List video hoe), this puts both of their names in the press and they both have something to sell. People like drama. People like pretty people. People like pretty people being schmoopy and having sex. It’s a thing. 

Which brings us to our next part!

  • Let’s look at the body language! The muppet mouth Zigi kissing in PILLOWTALK aside, body language is one of the world’s greatest indicators. Let’s compare body language between Ziam & Zigith (and note that I didn’t cherry pick, I promise. These were photos taken from PR hoe strolls that are all found on the Googles and ranging from November until last night*). 


And Zigi most recently from last night (2/3):

Gigi’s like a real 1d beard now! Rockin’ the Adidas and the YSL. Congrats, Gigi.

Mellygrant’s note: I’m the dudes in the front seat of the car.

In almost every photo Zayn looks like kidnapping victim in a Proof Of Life video. He looks more like he’s on the way to a colonoscopy then hanging out with his smokin’ hot Supermodel girlfriend. I’m just sayin’.


Liam’s ass is literally doing nothing but Zayn’s like “let me help your ass do nothing Leeyum i am here to literally help your ass”

If the PILLOWTALK video was even a tenth this hot I’d be blogging from the spirit realm

There are literally hundreds more gifs of Ziam generally being schmoopy and having Sparkly Hoe Eyes and The Thirst. I went on a quest for proof for you anon and the only person I hurt is myself. 

Which brings us to the last and most important part: Zigi can’t be real because Ziam already is. It is the realest. It is realer than the sun in the sky or the grass on the ground or my general hatred for clowns. It is realer than all of us. 

*Mel’s disclaimer so she doesn’t get roasted: I didn’t pick Zigi’s snapchat or couples’ selfie because I wanted to show you candid body language.


“Sometimes I feel sure he is as mad as a hatter and then, just as he is at his maddest, I find there is a method in his madness.”

kawaiiusagichansan  asked:

(Page3)Selene Making their way out of the Zoo they caught sight of a tree near a lake & dashed towards it. Jacob was so brave he tried to help Selene up the tree first but she ended up appariting them up to the nearest branch instead. “Do you think we’ll be safe up here?” Jacob asked clinging to the tree for dear life. Holding on to his arm Selene didn't have the heart to sugar coat it as she watched the Erumpent charge the tree, pierce the trunk with it’s horn. “Not for long I'm afraid.”

Newt had a minor setback on his way towards the both of them, and he finally managed to retrieve his wand back from the monkey before heading down the hill. He stopped just at the top, sighing when he saw the tree start to fall to the ground.

“Merlin’s beard.”

Newt gripped his case tightly, rushing down the hill towards the lake as he watched the two of them scramble across the ice. He threw his case open, skidding across the ice as Jacob and Selene screamed when the erumpent slid towards them both.

With the skill of an athlete, thanks to his many days out in the field, he dashed to his knees and held the case in front of him as the erumpent got swallowed up.

All of them sighed in unison, glad to be over with that.

“Good show, Mr. Kowalski.”

He smiled, his eyes finally meeting Selene’s and his smile only widened. “Darling…”


the cottonball flies out of his ear

anonymous asked:

What's payneton?

Payneton is the ship name for Liam Payne and Jordan Payton.  Liam was seen on the sidelines of Jordan’s football game, he was with Liam in the coffee shop picture when we first spotted Liam’s roses tattoo, Liam brought him up during the airport pap walk he did, and there has been some back and forth on Twitter. 

There’s some shadiness going on around Payneton right now.  

1) This has all happened in a relatively short period of time and it’s been surprisingly public and noticeable.

2) It feels eerily similar to Xarry (Harry and Xander) from last year.  Almost as if it’s male bearding designed to push “anyone but Zayn” just as Xarry would have contributed to “anyone but Louis”.  Nothing big ever happened with Xarry in the end.

3) The Larries have jumped on this ship strangely quickly and excitedly.  It feels like Gryles or Hazoff in a lot of ways, except the group that’s on board is the Larries this time.

4) The notice of the ship even before the Larries jumped on board seems to have been strange.  I’ve never seen many non-1D ships get attention for any of the boys but Niall, and even he doesn’t get much.  Suddenly there were people shipping it and timeline posts and speculation posts seemingly out of nowhere. This was after only one or two interactions.

It feels like bad insider info and astroturfing to me- like the Larries were told Payneton is real which is why they’re suddenly ready to consider Liam being queer, and like the rest of the fandom was astroturfed to get the appropriate topics of conversation circulating despite there not being much grounds for it.

I don’t have a great feeling about it overall, but I also don’t know exactly where it’s heading.

There’s some speculation 1DHQ is going to try forcibly outing Liam with a scandal under not the best of conditions.  I can believe they would do something that gross, but I’m also a little skeptical that would be in 1DHQ’s best interests.

It’s a major no-no, so they could end up getting crucified for it by the public, the media, and the entertainment industry.  They could also get themselves sued and I still don’t think they really want to start a legal battle with 1D.  1D has way more ammo when it comes down to it.

It’s also counter-productive to try to beard someone for so long and then to undo all of that by outing them, even if it wouldn’t be ideal conditions.  I still feel like outing someone so soon after a bearding relationship ends is only going to cast doubt on the old relationship and expose it as bearding.  In this case they could claim Liam is bi and took up with Jordan after the break up, or that he was misleading Sophia all along, but I still think it’s risky for 1DHQ to point the finger that direction.

Something is going on, but I don’t know what.  It may amount to nothing like Xarry or it may end up being a big problem like babygate.  There’s no way to know for sure yet.  We just have to watch and wait.

((For the lovely arcanefeathers as a thank you for these two adorable pieces of art. They asked for the story of how Andy kidnapped Garrett’s hoodie. Hope you like it, bby :3 ))

“Where the hell’s my red hoodie?” Garrett’s voice was muffled as he dug around in the closet.

“Haven’t seen it,” Anders replied without looking up, pencil tapping against his lips as he pored over the textbook balanced across his knees. Every so often, he’d lean over and make a note in his ratty spiral notebook, a cute little wrinkle between his brows as he concentrated. Pounce lay curled up in a patch of sunlight on his desk, the tip of his orange tail twitching against the blond’s wrist when he wrote.

“I can’t go without it!” Garrett whined, sitting back on his heels, his dark hair ruffled but somehow still looking attractive. Then he caught a good look at his boyfriend and his expression shifted to one of comical annoyance. “Have you been wearing it this whole time?”

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