beanie beard

I was in a terrible mood today after finding out some wonderfully shitty news. I never lose my cool anymore, but today I wasn’t able to hold it back.

I kept it under control. I didn’t snap at anyone. I just let it run its course. I sure did type really loudly. Didn’t notice until my coworker told me though. 😅

Oh well. All is good now!

Third Love Part Two

Originally posted by geezerwench

Originally posted by shamelessturkey

Part One

This is the last part.

Text in bold is flashbacks. Thank you for your patience with this one, I hope you guys enjoy it xxx

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He watched the door slam shut behind you and he turned to the wall.
“Fuck!” Jax yelled and clenched his fist.
He pounded it against the wall, over and over.
The white paint slowly turned red as his knuckles bled but he didn’t stop, not yet.
After a few more hits Jax stepped back and ran his hand through his hair, brushing it out of his face with his good hand.
He stretched out his fist but ignored the burning pain in his knuckles and he glared at the bloodied hole in the wall.
He knew he should have ran after you, tried to make you see sense. But he had never seen you so mad before and he knew he deserved it.
Honesty. Respect. That was all you ever asked for.
You didn’t care about the things he did for the club, the club secrets he had to keep from you. You didn’t care that he barely took you on dates. You didn’t care that he had a son to another woman. You didn’t care that he was a criminal, an outlaw. You didn’t care about the late nights or the lonely ones.
You didn’t ask him to stay home with you, didn’t nag him or need to know every detail about his days or things with the club.
All you had ever asked of him was that when it came to your relationship, he was honest with you.
And he hadn’t been.
Jax knew he should have told you Tara was back the day she had turned up at the clubhouse.
But his head had been a mess and he needed time to work out what this all meant.
It was like a ghost had walked back into his life.
He never thought he’d see her again after she left and when she’d walked through those doors he felt like a teenager again, and all those feelings he had once had came flooding back to him.
He should have told you what happened, how he was feeling, but hell he didn’t even know how he felt.
Jax leant against the wall and stared at the shattered glass and splatters of whiskey on the floor.
The kitchen was a mess and it seemed fitting to mess inside his head. He needed to make sense of these feelings, of these thoughts that were taking control.
He needed to leave, needed to get out of this empty house.
He turned and walked out the door, heading for his bike.
A long ride was what he needed to clear his head.
~
Laughter left your lips and you wiped the counter thoroughly.
“I’m serious! He turned up in a denim suit. A juit.” Cassie said.
You laughed again and shook your head.
For a month now you had been working with Cassie at the diner and almost everyday she had a new story to tell you about her disastrous love life and the many bad dates she’d had that left a smile on your face.
The bell above the door chimed and you glanced at the entrance.
Three men entered, all in leather and all ridiculously attractive.
You watched them walk casually into the diner and slide into a booth by the window, near the back.
“Hellooo handsome.” Cassie said beneath her breath and you smiled and winked at her.
“Shotgun.” You said and grabbed a notebook and slid it into your apron pocket.
Before she could argue you stepped out from behind the counter and approached the table.
There was a tall one, wearing a slouched beanie and a full beard. A younger looking guy, with a shaved Mohawk and tribal tattooes on his skull. And a blonde, with long blonde hair and blue eyes.
“Welcome to Daisy’s Diner, what can I get for you this mornin?”
The guys glanced up at your approach and you smiled warmly to each of them.
“Just coffee, thanks.” The one with the beard smiled.
You nodded.
“Anything else? The cherry pies real nice.”
“I bet it is.” The blonde said with a wink and a smirk and you tried to ignore his eyes looking you up and down.
You smirked back and met his eye.
“I’ll grab a slice.” He said.
You scribbled the order in your notebook.
“Won’t be long.” You smiled sweetly, making sure to flutter your eyelashes and headed back to the counter.
You could feel their eyes watching you as you walked and you made sure to sway your hips a little more than normal.
“Thoughts?” Cassie whispered once you were behind the counter.
“The one in the beanie’s married. No rings on the other two though.” You reported.
She nodded and bit her lip.
“I call dibs on the Mohawk.”
You laughed and quickly got the order ready.
A phone rang out and you glanced at the table and saw the blonde answer a call.
You grabbed the pot of coffee and the plate of pie and headed towards the table.
When you were almost there the three men stood and the blonde turned towards you.
“We gotta go, sorry darlin’.”
“Sorry for wasting my pie or for staring at my ass earlier?” You asked.
He raised his eye brows and smirked.
“Oh I ain’t sorry for that darlin.“
You laughed and he flashed you a wink before turning and following the others out of the diner.

~
The sound of birds chirping woke him and he squinted at the bright sun shining down on him.
For a moment he was confused at his surroundings but they slowly familiarised around him.
Jax always ended up here when times were tough, or when he needed to clear his head.
Some people found cemeteries eerie, creepy and uncomfortable. But Jax found them peaceful, and he seeked comfort sitting in front of his fathers grave.
He yawned and rubbed his eyes, wincing at the pain that tore through his fist.
Slowly he stood and stretched his body, already aching from sleeping on the hard ground.
Jax walked slowly to the garden tap that he’d used to wash his face many times before.
After freshening up Jax headed for his bike.
He had left his phone at home last night and so he had no idea what the time was.
As he walked to his bike he contemplated whether or not he should head home.
You would be there and he knew you’d still be mad, and with every right.
He knew he needed to face you, to explain himself.
But he needed to freshen up first.
Jax swung his leg over his bike and brought it to life. He would go to the clubhouse, freshen up in the dorms and head home. Hell he might even buy some flowers on the way.
~
“Same again?”
“Please,” You smiled at the bartender.
He smiled back and turned to get your drinks ready.
Cassie had managed to convince you to come out with her and she had dragged you to one of the local bars.
Sitting next to her, you were like chalk and cheese.
She sat with her perfectly straightened hair, perfectly applied make up, tight red dress and six inch heels.
And then, there was you. Ripped black jeans, combat boots, Guns ‘n’ Roses tshirt and your hair pulled into a rough high ponytail.
The only make up you wore was a perfect flick of black eyeliner on your upper lid.
But somehow the two of you got on like a house on fire, despite the differences in your personalities.
The bartender passed you your drink and you thanked him before taking a sip.
You were putting the glass back on the bar when you felt a presence next to you and you turned towards the newcomer.
“Hey cherry pie.”
You smirked at the blonde biker, instantly recognising him from the other day in the diner.
“Hey stranger.” You purred.
“Hey I’m Cassie.” Your friend interrupted.
He glanced at her and smiled before introducing himself as Jax and introducing his friend, ‘Juice’.
You chatted for a while, well flirted mostly, before Cassie dragged you away to dance.
Almost an hour had passed and you knew they were watching when you heard a new song start.
The music was familiar to you and you laughed and turned towards the bar, where a smirking Jax watched with a playful hint in his eyes.
“She’s my cherry pie, cool drink of water such a sweet surprise.”
The song played, Warrants ‘Cherry Pie.’
Jax raised his eyebrow, challenging you.
You don’t know what came over you but you flashed him a wink before stepping on a stool and climbing on top of the closest table.
And from across the bar, Jax watched as you swung your hair and swayed your hips to the music. His eyes were focused on you and with each move you made, the rest of the world fell away.

~
Jax pulled into the lot and parked in his usual spot along the row of bikes.
The garage was still shut and he frowned slightly.
Perhaps it was earlier in the day than he had first thought.
He hopped off his bike and placed his helmet on the handlebars before heading towards the clubhouse entrance.
He had only taken a few steps when the doors flew open and Gemma and Chibs came running out.
“Where have you been?!” Gemma demanded.
Jax ran his hand through his hair as he walked closer.
After the night he’d had, the last thing he needed was a lecture from his mother.
“Look, mom-“
“Dont worry about it, Jackie boy. Theres been an accident.” Chibs interrupted.
Jax froze and glanced between them, his face filling with concern.
“Its (y/n), Jax.”
His heart dropped.
“Is she..?” His words fell off, unable to bring himself to finish the question.
“Shes in intensive care.”
Jax nodded and stepped backwards before he turned and headed for his bike.
Gemma and Chibs called after him but he ignored their voices.
Everything seemed to move in slow motion, and no matter how hard he tried his legs couldn’t carry him any faster.
His body went into auto-pilot and he yanked on his helmet, the bike roaring to life beneath him while his mind raced.
Gemma and Chibs moved past him in a blur as he pulled the bike out of his spot and sped out of the lot.
He didn’t bother looking for cars, didn’t bother stopping at the red lights.
He didn’t bother with the speed limit as he weaved his bike in between the oncoming cars.
All he knew was that you needed him.
Eventually he stopped in front of the hospital and he stopped his bike and leapt off it, letting his helmet drop to the pavement beside him.
Jax ran up the steps, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest.
The woman behind the desk glanced up as he ran through the doors.
“(y/n) (y/l/n), where is she?!”
~
You always hummed when you cooked and this morning was no exception.
Jax leant against the doorway, a smile on his face as he watched you work.
You rummaged in the drawer for a whisk before whipping the batter in the bowl.
“Whats cooking good lookin?”
You turned and saw Jax watching you and laughed lightly.
“Pancakes.” You smiled.
He grinned and walked into the kitchen and took you by the waist.
He laid his chin on your shoulder and watched you whisk the mixture.
“With blueberries?” He asked.
“And bacon.” You answered.
“God I love you.”
You laughed and moved his hands from his waist.
“Sit down, it wont be long.”
He obeyed and took a seat at the table.
He could get used to this, waking up to you cooking in the kitchen, naked beneath his SAMCRO shirt and your hair hanging loosely.
It was a sight he could never get sick of.
You quickly got the breakfast together and plated before carrying it to the table.
Jax let out a whistle as you placed the dish in front of him and you smiled before taking your seat.
You both ate in contempt silence, enjoying each others company.
After eating You cleared the table and Jax had a smoke.
You were washing the dishes when you felt his hands creep around your waist once more and you leant into him.
“Thank you.” He whispered in your ear.
“I might have a shower,” He told you. “Why don’t you join me?”
You chuckled. “Ive already showered.”
Jax raised his eyebrows and dipped his hands into the sink.
He cupped his hands, letting them fill with the soapy water before splashing you with it.
You gasped and squealed.
“Jax!”
He laughed and splashed you again.
Before you knew it, you were both soaked, covered in bubbles and sliding around the kitchen floor.
You splashed him once more and he pulled you into his arms.
“I love you.” He said.
You smiled and looked into those blue eyes.
“I love you too, Jax.”

~
Jax ran down the corridor and pushed through the door the lady had directed him to.
When he entered the room he froze in his steps at the sight of you.
Lying there, in the hospital bed. There was a bandage wrapped around your head, you had a black eye and your lips were swollen, along with multiple grazes along your cheek.
Your arm was in a cast and you lay there so.. peaceful.
Jax stepped closer slowly and his legs carried him to the seat next to your bed.
He sunk into the seat and his eyes brimmed with tears.
You needed him, and he hadn’t been there.
How long had you been like this?
The doctor said you were in a coma, and although you were stable he had said the damage was extensive, and there was a chance you may not pull through.
Jax grabbed your hand gently and squeezed it.
He couldn’t bring himself to pull his eyes away from your face.
“Im so sorry, (y/n).” He whispered.
He should have followed you, he should have been there. He should have protected you.
Seeing you lying here like this was killing him and you looked so.. broken.
Tears ran down his cheeks and all he could do was apologise.
A door opened behind him but he didn’t turn.
He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed it gently, praying that you would open your eyes.
But you didnt.
“Jax?”
He turned and when he saw Tara standing at the end of the bed anger rose within him.
Gently, he placed your hand back on the bed and he stood.
“What are you doing here?”
Tara blinked rapidly and reached for his hands but he snatched them away.
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She said. “I thought you might need me.”
Jax grimaced.
“What I need, is for my girlfriend to open her eyes.”
“Jax I-“
“Why did you come back, Tara?” He snarled.
“For you, Jax. I came back for you.”
Jax scoffed and shook his head but before he could reply she continued speaking.
“I got my degree, Jax. I have a job,a house. I have everything Ive ever wanted. Everything except you.”
“Its too late Tara. Im with Y/N now. She’s my old lady.”
“I have your crow.” She argued.
Jax clenched his fists and moved closer, hovering over her now.
“Yeah? Well you’re not an old lady. You should have got it removed when you left.”
~
The clubhouse was quiet, and for the number of people inside it was unusual.
The moment Gemma had called you you had dropped everything and headed over.
You had known Jax was getting home from Stockton today, but you weren’t expecting him for another few hours and you weren’t expecting the bad news that came with him. Opie was gone.
Grief hung in the air and the whole atmosphere of the clubhouse had changed.
Your heart was in your throat as you moved, searching desperately around the familiar faces, searching only for one.
“He’s in his dorm, lass.” You heard from behind you.
You turned and saw Chibs, his head hung low and a haunting pain in his eyes.
You reached up and hugged him tightly. You hadn’t seen him since he’d gone inside and you weren’t sure if it was prison or the events that had occurred that made him seem older somehow, haunted. He hugged you back, his arms embracing you and you pressed a kiss to his cheek before letting him go.
Of course, all of them were hurting, but Jax was the only thing on your mind and you desperately needed to find him.
Chibs squeezed your hand and you headed to the dorms.
It was funny, how suddenly a place could feel different after something so tragic.
The hallway felt so.. empty. Eerie, almost. Like it knew something, or someone was missing.
Your feet carried you to Jax’s dorm and you didn’t bother knocking.
He was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed and staring at the blank wall in front of him.
He didn’t look up when you entered but you ran to him and sank to your knees beside him before pulling him into you.
He didn’t need you to say anything, just you being there was enough and he began to sob uncontrollably into your chest.
You stroked his hair slowly, letting his tears soak through your shirt.
“He was my best friend.” Jax whispered against you, his voice broken and full of sadness.
“I know baby, I know.”

~
“Jax we can make this work, we can-“
“No!” He yelled.
Taras eyes widened and she stepped back from him.
“How dare you come here.” He snarled. His fists
clenched and he trembled with anger, both with Tara and himself.
He turned away from her and stood at the end of the end of the hospital bed. His hands grasped the bed frame tightly, making his knuckles burn.
Guilt ran through his veins as he looked at your broken body.
After a moment of silence Tara stepped forward and Jax felt her hand lay on his shoulder.
“I’m your first love, Jackson.”
Jax took a deep breath and clenched his jaw before he turned back towards her.
“Your right.”
She smiled with relief.
“You were my first love Tara. But she is my last. You are my past, and she is my future.”
Tara opened her mouth, unable to find the words. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she turned abruptly and left, letting the door close behind her.
Jax sighed and ran a hand over his face.
God, he felt sick with guilt and he couldn’t help but blame himself for what had happened to you.
He should never have let you leave, he should have chased after you. He should never had made you so mad to begin with.
For a moment he considered following Tara. Not to be with her, he had meant what he said. But seeing you lay in this hospital bed had him thinking if maybe you would be better off without him. You were a good woman, with a kind heart and he knew you deserved a love that Jax wasn’t sure he could give you.
He had no doubt in his mind that he loved you, with all he had left in the ashen remains of his heart. But he had always had doubts that he was good enough for you.
It was because of him that you had ended up in here after all. If it hadn’t been for him you would be fine, walking around and laughing like normal.
Jax walked to the edge of the bed and gently lifted your hand once more.
Your skin was soft and fragile and he sighed as he held it gently in his rough hands.
Maybe it was selfish of him, and maybe you deserved better. But he knew he couldn’t walk away, couldn’t let you go. You meant too much to him.
He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed your skin softly.
“Please wake up, (y/n). I need you.”
~
Jax slung his arm over your shoulder and you squeezed his waist.
His lips pressed against your hair as he kissed your head and you smiled up at him once he pulled away.
You had spent all day helping Gemma clean up the clubhouse after another wild party and despite having a godawful hangover it had actually been enjoyable.
Cleaning wasn’t your favourite pastime but you didn’t hate it either, and you liked spending time with Gemma.
She was terrifying, of course, in her usual Gemma Teller way but you both seemed to get along despite the fact you were dating her son.
And she was grateful for your help.
The croweaters had been there too to help but cleaning wasn’t exactly their specialty, especially when they were hung over.
Finally though, the boys had returned from their club business that had kept them away for most of the day and you were happy to see Jax walk back through the doors.
He led you outside for a well deserved break and you perched on the edge of the picnic table while he lit up a ciggarette.
“Thankyou for helping out today babe.” Jax said after blowing out a cloud of smoke.
“Anytime,” You smiled at him. “Although I’m kinda scarred after cleaning Tigs mess.”
Jax chuckled before taking another drag.
A car pulled into the lot and you both looked up.
Wendy got out of the drivers side and waved to you both before getting Abel out of his car seat.
“(Y/n)!” The little blonde yelled as soon as his feet hit the pavement.
Abel ran towards you and you hopped off the table and knelt with your arms open.
He ran into them and you smiled as you squeezed him tight.
You lifted him and held him on your hip and Jax pressed a kiss to his sons forehead.
“Can we play on the swings?” Abel asked eagerly.
“I guess so.” You sighed playfully before tickling him.
He giggled loudly and you smiled at Wendy once more before carrying Abel to the swing set.
“He’s been asking about (y/n) all week.” Wendy said.
Jax nodded, a proud smile on his face as he watched you playing with his son.
“So is she your old lady yet or what?”
He raised his eyebrows, an amused look on his face as he looked at his ex.
“You gonna give me relationship advice darlin?”
Wendy rolled her eyes.
“She’s a good girl, Jax. She’ll make a good old lady, better than I ever was.”
They both watched as you pushed Abel on the swing and his laughter echoed through the lot.
“Look all I’m saying is don’t screw things up with her. She’s good for you. She’s good for him.”

~
Three days had passed without any changes.
The doctors had said your condition seemed to be improving however you were still in a coma and Jax was growing more impatient with every passing day.
He had spent every minute by your bedside, only leaving to freshen up, but never for more than ten minutes.
The room was filled with balloons and the scent of fresh flowers, mainly from Gemma.
The guilt never left him and every minute you spent in this coma Jax seemed to blame himself more.
The nurses had told him to talk to you, that you could hear him.
At first he had been uncomfortable, unsure of what to say to someone who couldn’t answer back.
He’d started with apologies, before telling you about his plans for the club.
He’d just finished telling you a story about how the guys had hid a bunch of dolls in their rooms to stop Tig from snooping when he stopped talking mid sentence.
Your eyes had fluttered, he was sure of it.
“Babe? Come on wake up.”
You stirred, your eyes flickering open for a moment and your fingers twitched slightly.
A wide smiled spread over his face and he squeezed your hand gently.
Ever so slowly, the room began to focus around you.
You squinted your eyes, gradually taking in your surroundings before you focused on Jax, sitting teary eyed by your bed.
“You look like shit.” You told him, your voice slightly raspy.
Jax laughed lightly and a tear rolled down his cheek.
He didn’t doubt your words, he’d barely slept in three days.
“How are you feeling?” Jax asked.
“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”
“Il get a nurse.”
“No, Jax wait. I-”
“I’m so sorry, (y/n).” Jax interrupted. “I should have told you. I don’t wanna lose you, darlin. You mean everything to me and I-”
“It’s okay Jax.” You told him.
He stopped and looked at you, the blues of his eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
His face was filled with guilt and you smiled softly.
“I love you, Jackson. And I trust you. It’s okay.”
Jax stood and hovered over the bed. His fingers reached oh and gently room hold of your chin.
He pressed his lips against yours softly, too scared of hurting you. You kissed him back and you didn’t notice the tear that escaped you and rolled down your cheek.
“Marry me.” Jax whispered as he pulled his lips away.
“What?!”
“Marry me.” He grinned. “I love you, (y/n). Almost losing you made me realise how much I need you. I want to spend my life with you. Marry me.”
You rated at him, your mouth slightly open.
“Yes,” you breathed. “Yes!”
You both grinned at each other, your eyes damp with tears of joy and this time when he kissed you you swore you could taste the rest of your life on his lips.
Minutes passed and eventually he pulled away and sat back in the chair, his hands holding yours softly.
“Jax?”
“Yes, mrs Teller?”
You grinned. “Is Tig really that scared of dolls?”