beam 1

I will honestly chill out with the excessive bright eyes posts soon but I just gotta say after these shows… I fucking love bright eyes fans. you are all amazing. there’s this sense of shared experience at conor shows, we’ve all been through a lot of the same things. you can look over at the person next to you and it turns out you’re not the only one holding back tears during milk thistle/something vague/poison oak/etc. it’s being in a room full of people who are not afraid of showing their feelings, in fact they want to celebrate them. which is rare and wonderful. it’s like, are you depressed? is the world terrifying and crushing? okay, let’s fucking sing about it! we’ll lift each other up! “you don’t have to lie and say you’re alright, we’re just happy that you’re here” it’s a community built on openness and vulnerability and sincerity and trying to believe that the world is beautiful even when living is hard. I’m 22 and I still believe that music and art can save lives or at least make them much much better. and I know that sounds crazy but I do believe it. let the things you love make you feel better. okay? that’s the end of my spiel for now goodnight

This just feels different,“ she whispered. ” I know many times I’ve thought I found out something and it was nothing, or I’ve followed a false lead, but this feels like something else, Jules. This feels real
—  Emma Carstairs, Lady Midnight
9

Previous Paladins~

So these are doodles of my team of Paladins that came before Shiro and the gang for Stars Align, Stars Collide, I’ve had these on my computer for forever and I know its gonna take me forever to get them colored but I wanted to share my love for my children, I came up with them waaay before season 2 so they’re better suited as AU characters and I’ve only posted like one pic of them I am a terrible mother anyway 

FROM THE TOP:

Solana or just Sol: Red Paladin, Altean, Keith’s mother, she’s passionate, driven and will fight you if you try to harm the people she loves 

Kozak/Thace: Blue Paladin, Altean/Galra hybrid, Keith’s father and Sol’s husband, ended up with baby Keith on Earth when he was trying to hide away the Blue Lion 

Alfor: Yellow Paladin, with gauntlet bayard and loved by his two nerds Coran and Isolde 

Coran Coran the Gorgeous Man: Green Paladin, beloved by Alfor and Isolde 

Isolde: Allura’s mother, pilots the Castle of Lions,  

Zarkon: Black Paladin, scolding Kozak for doing something dumb, reference from when Shiro scolded Lance for the participial beam comment in episode 1 XD 

I have more doodles I need to post I have too many doodles of these guys just sitting in my sketchbook…incomplete…I’m a terrible mother….

a kid!myungjin fic heavily inspired by this fic by @astrofireworks . shoutout to the anon who shared their story bc it rlly rlly inspired me to write this! uhh i definitely got a little carried away, pls enjoy the first part bc i had to split it up with how long it is. 


  • myungjun and jinwoo don’t even remember when they became friends bc they’ve always been friends
  • jinwoo’s parents moved in to the house next to myungjun’s parents the year before jinwoo was born and being the 2 youngest couples in the neighbourhood they really hit it off
  • jinwoo and myungjun’s parents are basically bffs and they go to each other’s houses all the time
  • jinwoo’s mom adores myungjun before she can even really know him 
    • the first time jinwoo’s parents meet him is just after his 1st birthday when they go to the kim residence for dinner
    • myungjun starts crying and freaking out when jinwoo’s dad tries to come near him so jinwoo’s mom shoos her husband away and begins talking with the toddler
    • the only things myungjun can say other than “mama” and “dada” are “yes” and “no” 
    • somehow they make the conversation work and soon enough they’re sitting in the middle of the living room playing with blocks with myungjun babbling and jinwoo’s mom beaming at the 1 year old
  • jinwoo’s dad is basically myungjun’s second dad and jinwoo’s mom is his second mom
    • every once in a while myungjun and jinwoo’s dad’s take him to baseball games on saturday afternoons to give myungjun’s mom a bit of a break
    • their wives will spend the afternoon relaxing somehow; they sometimes go shopping, get their nails done, just hang out at one of their houses, etc
    • this tradition continues once jinwoo is born and gets a little bit older
  • right after myungjun turns 2:
    • jinwoo is born
    • he’s old enough to understand that jinwoo is a baby but other than that he’s got nothing
    • is v gentle and caring when he’s around him though and really likes to sit in his mom’s lap and hold jinwoo with her
    • loves making jinwoo giggle
    • actually the first time jinwoo ever laughed was because of myungjun pulling his signature duck face at him
  • when jinwoo is 1.2 and myungjun is 3.2:
    • jinwoo starts walking
    • nobody really knows how jinwoo learned so quickly but they suspect he learned faster by following myungjun around all the time (crawling isn’t effective with how energetic myungjun is and so jinwoo had to adapt somehow)
    • jinwoo also can’t really say myungjun’s name very well so he starts calling him mj as prompted by their parents (the nickname sticks and to this day jinwoo still calls him mj)
  • when jinwoo is 2.7 and myungjun is 4.7:
    • it snows for the first time all winter
    • myungjun obviously wants to play outside and this means that jinwoo has to play outside too (jinwoo literally follows myungjun everywhere)
    • so their parents bundle them up in sweaters and long sleeve shirts, putting on their snow pants and hats and mitts and winter coats before sending them outside and sitting on myungjun’s porch to watch them
    • the boys try to run around in it but jinwoo is still a little clumsy when he walks and keeps tripping in his clunky boots
    • myungjun giggles each time he falls before helping him back to his feet and making sure he’s okay, brushing snow off his shoulders and anywhere else its gotten stuck
    • both boys are all bright smiles and wide eyes, trying to take as much in as possible before they have to go back inside
    • myungjun shows jinwoo how to make a snow angel and laughs loudly as jinwoo tries (and fails) to make one himself
    • their conversations mainly consist of myungjun talking in semi-full sentences and jinwoo babbling much of the time but the 2 understand each other so well anyways
    • both of their dads come down from the porch and start teaching the boys how to build a snowman
    • excitedly they begin helping, successfully completing a full snowman about the same height as myungjun in about 20 minutes
    • myungjun wants to name it but wants jinwoo to help him pick
    • myungjun: “jinwoo, what should we name our snowman?”
    • jinwoo, looking up at myungjun from where he’s sitting on the ground: “*talks about nonsense and unrelated things, just saying random sentences*”
    • myungjun, not at all frustrated bc he’s totally patient with jinwoo and understands that the boy is still learning and leaning down to his friend: “jinwoo, do you want to name our snowman?”
    • jinwoo, excitedly: “yeah, yeah, yeah”
    • myungjun, smiling: “okay, what should we name him?”
    • jinwoo begins concentrating hard, their parents can tell bc his tongue is sticking out of his mouth slightly, a habit he’s stolen from myungjun, who does the same thing
    • jinwoo: “we name him Bugs”
    • myungjun quickly agrees, willing to go along with whatever jinwoo suggests (and also bc he likes the Looney Toons cartoons too and it’s one of the only ones jinwoo watches with him)
    • myungjun: “then his name is Bugs!”
    • jinwoo claps excitedly and myungjun smiles widely at him
    • now that they’ve named it, its time to go inside bc they’ve been out for almost an hour and their moms don’t want them to get sick
    • they sit in myungjun’s living room on the couch watching cartoons and their parents bring some hot chocolate for myungjun and a tiny glass of warm milk for jinwoo
    • myungjun totally lets jinwoo have a sip of his hot chocolate when he asks for one (he’s a giant sucker for the boy)
  • when jinwoo is 3.2 and myungjun is 5.2:
    • jinwoo’s parents have a pool put in their backyard
    • myungjun and jinwoo spend the rest of the summer in their water wings (myungjun) and life jacket (jinwoo), climbing in and out of the pool and playing imaginary games
    • their favourite is to hop on to the pool floaties and pretend to be cruising through a river in the jungle and exploring for rare creatures
    • myungjun’s parents bought them each a pair of plastic binoculars to carry around with them
    • jinwoo is very easily distracted and so the game doesn’t always work but myungjun doesn’t even care bc as long as his best friend is having fun then so is he
    • usually end up falling asleep sometime during the late-afternoon on top of each other on jinwoo’s couch bc they’re tired from swimming and being out in the sun for so long
    • myungjun begins calling jinwoo jinjin that summer, no one really knows why, this nickname also sticks
  • when jinwoo is 4.5 and myungjun is 6.5:
    • myungjun starts school
    • jinwoo watches his friend get on the bus every morning from the park residence living room window with a pout, wanting to go with his best friend
    • bothers his mom all day about where myungjun is and when he’ll be back bc he misses him
    • tells his mom every single day that he “hates the bus for taking mj hyung away” and his mom just shakes her head with a smile bc myungjun will be back in just a few hours to see him but she can tell how much her son loves and admires the boy
    • most days, the two boys play in jinwoo’s driveway for just under an hour before jinwoo begins rubbing his eyes and yawning
    • even though he wants to keep up with myungjun and continue playing, the poor boy is still little and needs a nap most days (he could have one while myungjun is at school but he refuses to do anything except stay in the living room playing until he spots the bus bringing his best friend back)
    • as soon as myungjun sees him yawn he begins picking up whatever toy they had been using and grabs jinwoo’s hand, leading him into the house to find jinwoo’s mom
    • “jinjin is sleepy”
    • jinwoo’s mom thanks myungjun and tells him that if he wants to go watch some tv or play in the living room then he’s welcome to and when she comes back she’ll bring him a snack
    • he nods his head, hair bouncing around as he smiles widely at the mention of a snack and heads to the living room, searching the toy shelf for one of jinwoo’s colouring books and some crayons and kneeling down at the living room table
    • jinwoo’s mom walks in every day and spots him with his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration as he colours whatever pictures he’s chosen, his hair messily flopping into his eyes and forcing him to push it out of his way every once in a while (she has a feeling that the boy is going to be a really great artist when he grows up bc of how much he colours and draws and how much he enjoys it)
    • around 5:00pm, myungjun’s mother will knock on the door to pick him up, thanking jinwoo’s mom for watching him
    • jinwoo often makes his way back down the stairs as myungjun is leaving and the two boys talk quietly while their moms are talking
    • jinwoo, pouting: “i just woke up and you’re already leaving”
    • myungjun, ruffling his friends already messy hair with a giggle, “i’ll be back tomorrow, silly”
    • jinwoo, still pouting: “but tomorrow is so far away hyung, i don’t want you to leave yet”
    • myungjun, smiling even wider at his younger friend: “you’ll see me before you know it”
    • myungjun’s mom, unknowingly interrupting their conversation: “okay myungjun, time to head home so i can start dinner, say goodbye to jinwoo”
    • both boys quickly mumble goodbyes before wrapping their small arms tightly around one another, their moms beaming down at them as they do
    • jinwoo running to the window after the door closes to watch them cross the lawn to their house and waving at myungjun one last time when he turns around, smiling goofily and waving back
  • when jinwoo is 5.4 and myungjun is 7.4:
    • they’re sitting on the floor in myungjun’s living room with blank paper spread out around them and various crayons and markers
    • jinwoo is happily scribbling and messily drawing random shapes, more concerned with the colours than anything else (definitely colouring on himself and myungjun with the markers, would get in trouble but myungjun’s mom couldn’t bring herself to be upset with him for drawing hearts all over himself and her son)
    • myungjun is drawing people and animals with pretty good skill for a 7 year old
    • myungjun, suddenly announces: “jinjin i’m going to draw you!”
    • jinwoo, giggling: “why would you draw me?”
    • myungjun: “bc you’re my best friend and i want to draw you!”
    • so jinwoo agrees and sits still across from myungjun for as long as he can while his friend draws him, watching the crayon move around on the paper and myungjun use various colours for different things like his hair and t-shirt
    • after about 20 minutes he’s finished and shows jinwoo who claps happily and tells myungjun how amazing it is before shouting that its his turn and proceeding to try drawing myungjun
    • he finishes after 10 minutes and its less of a person and more shapes put together to make a person but myungjun smiles widely nonetheless and tells jinwoo how good it is and that he’s so talented
    • they make one another sign the drawings and have myungjun’s mom put the date on it for them
    • both jinwoo and myungjun pin the drawings up on the walls of their bedrooms (the drawings remain there well into their teens)
  • when jinwoo is 6 and myungjun is 8:
    • a new family moves in across the street
    • both boys don’t know much about the family until their parents tell them that they’re coming over for a bbq at jinwoo’s house, and that they have a son a year younger than jinwoo
    • so the day for the bbq arrives and jinwoo and myungjun are excitedly running around the park family’s backyard and jumping into the pool while their dads are talking by the bbq when the lee family arrives
    • dongmin hasn’t yet turned 5 and is standing in his swim trunks and a shirt with pool goggles in his left hand, clutching onto his mom’s skirt with his right as he hides behind her leg
    • his mom grabs his hand off her skirt and motions for him to talk to the boys as myungjun and jinwoo, all messy hair and dripping water, walk up to him
    • dongmin is nervous for .3 seconds bc as soon as he sees myungjun smile at him he feels totally at ease (bc myungjun’s smile could make literally anyone feel welcome)
    • myungjun, shaking dongmin’s hand: “hi, i”m kim myungjun, i’m 8… what’s your name?”
    • dongmin smiles back sheepishly, still a little shy, “i’m lee dongmin, i’m 4, but i turn 5 in 6 days”
    • both myungjun and jinwoo are a little surprised at how soft-spoken dongmin is, his voice coming out crystal clear and small
    • they brush it off as jinwoo smiles too, also reaching for dongmin’s hand, “i’m park jinwoo, i’m 6 years old”
    • just like that, any shyness dongmin initially had is gone and he’s running after his 2 new friends to the edge of the pool, quickly (trying to) taking off his shirt and throwing it on a chair near the waters edge (after he finally get his head through the hole)
    • he puts his goggles over his head and follows myungjun and jinwoo when they jump into the water
    • jinwoo and myungjun’s parents are a little worried about him being in the water without any kind of flotation device as jinwoo had only started being able to swim without water wings at the end of the previous summer but quickly learn from dongmin’s parents that he’s been in swimming lessons for the last year so he’s okay
    • myungjun and jinwoo are curious about why he’s wearing goggles and decide to ask him
    • dongmin: “i like wearing them so my eyes don’t sting in the water”
    • suddenly jinwoo and myungjun are begging their parents to buy them goggles too so that they can be like dongmin
    • pretty soon its dinner time and all 3 are quickly wrapped in towels by their mothers and sat on the patio furniture in front of plates
    • they all begin rambling to each other about various things, myungjun and jinwoo talk about school and dongmin tells them stories about where he used to live
    • when its time to leave, dongmin, being that he’s only 4 (nearly 5) throws a bit of a fit bc he’s a bit sleepy and also wants to stay and hang out w his new friends
    • somehow the three convince their parents to let myungjun and dongmin sleepover
    • at 9:00pm (which according to the boys is so late) they head to jinwoo’s bedroom, sliding into his double bed and staring up at the glow-in-the-dark spaceship stickers on his ceiling, accompanied by a few stars and planets
    • myungjun: “i wish i could explore space”
    • dongmin: “but space is scary, its dark and there’s lots of scary things like aliens”
    • jinwoo: “i think it would be fun… but only if we went together”
    • myungjun: “of course, and i’d protect you from all the scary things dongmin, the aliens wouldn’t even be able to come near you”
    • dongmin, being only 4 and still afraid of monsters hiding in closets and under beds: “myungjun hyung, will you protect me from scary things here too? i mean, the scary things not in space?”
    • jinwoo: “myungjun and i will protect you from everything dongmin, nothing will get you while we’re here”
    • dongmin: “promise?”
    • myungjun: “always”
    • all 3 hold out their pinky fingers and swear on it, vowing to protect each other
    • dongmin then begins falling asleep bc he is 4 and tuckered out from running around and swimming all evening
    • myungjun and jinwoo try to stay awake talking but also fall asleep pretty quickly afterwards
    • when they wake up, jinwoo’s mom makes them breakfast (dongmin clumsily spills about a quarter of his breakfast into his lap as he eats)
    • each boy returns to their respective home for about 10 minutes before they’re back outside and ready to play
    • spend as much time together as they can on weekends bc myungjun and jinwoo have school during the week
    • they also begin calling themselves the 3 musketeers and go on adventures where they save people from monsters and evil villains like in movies
    • dongmin carries around a telescope and map to lead them places while myungjun ties bandanas around his head like a ninja and fights off bad guys and jinwoo wears a blanket as a cape and carries a foam sword around in order to kill monsters and slay dragons
    • and those 3 characters would never really be together but the boys make it work and run around their neighbourhood on crazy adventures
  • when myungjun is 9.4, jinwoo is 7.4, and dongmin is 6.2:
    • they watch their first horror movie
    • it’s the week before halloween and one of jinwoo’s classmates was talking about the movie Gremlins and so the boys want to watch it too
    • dongmin’s parents are hesitant to let them when the boys ask but after they beg for over an hour they finally let them bc they know its not too scary but enough for the 3 (but not without talking to myungjun and jinwoo’s parents first)
    • so the boys snuggle close together on the couch in dongmin’s living room under a blanket and his parents put the movie on
    • and whenever they’re scared, jinwoo and dongmin will hide their faces in myungjun’s shoulders as he’s sat in the middle, and eventually they just end up holding hands and squeezing one another’s hands tightly too
    • they laugh at the funnier parts but dongmin and jinwoo, being slightly younger, seem to be getting more freaked out by the gremlins than myungjun
    • once they finish the movie, the rest of their sleepover is spent with the lights in dongmin’s bedroom on and all of them triple-check that the doors are locked (and also that there are no gremlins playing with the electricity wiring outside)
  • when myungun is 10.6, jinwoo is 8.6, and dongmin is 7.4:
    • a boy in school begins picking on dongmin
    • myungjun and jinwoo don’t really know about it until one day, dongmin gets onto the bus crying
    • myungjun, extremely concerned for the younger boy: “dongmin, whats wrong? what happened?”
    • jinwoo, wrapping his arms tightly around him and gently wiping at his tears with his fingers: “its alright dongmin, me and mj hyung will protect you”
    • dongmin stutters out that a boy in his grade had been calling him names and he tried to ignore it but today as he was leaving school the boy had told him that jinwoo and myungjun didn’t even like him and just thought he was annoying
    • and this hit him pretty hard bc he didn’t like hearing people say things that he had worried about before, especially when he’s so much younger than myungjun (he’s little but he’s dongmin so of course he worries about this kinda thing)
    • myungjun, throwing his arms around dongmin too: “thats not true at all dongminnie! me and jinjin love you, you’re the third musketeer!”
    • jinwoo: “yeah, myungjun’s right… without you we wouldn’t be able to go on adventures or anything bc we wouldn’t have 3 of us!”
    • dongmin, smiling with tear tracks down his cheeks: “i love you guys”
    • and people might look at them a little funny bc of their exchanged i love you’s but they don’t really care bc its myungjun and jinwoo and dongmin and thats them, and they wouldn’t want their friendship any other way
  • when myungjun is 11.2, jinwoo is 9.2, and dongmin is 8:
    • by now all of their parents see the other 2 boys as their second and third sons
    • that being said, they agree to let them have a campout in myungjun’s backyard after the boys have been begging for a few weeks
    • myungjun’s parents set up a tent and the boys bring sleeping bags and pillows and pile them onto the air mattress myungjun’s parents have blown up
    • and they stay up late watching the stars overhead while laying on myungjun’s patio furniture and talking
    • dongmin: “will we be friends forever?”
    • jinwoo: “i hope so, dongminnie… i don’t want any other friends but you guys”
    • myungjun: “me too, you guys are my best friends, even better than my school friends”
    • dongmin: “i think i’d be sad if we weren’t friends anymore, you guys are my first friends ever and i don’t want new ones”
    • the boys sit in silence after that, each thinking to themselves
    • dongmin thinks that he wouldn’t rather have anyone else but myungjun and jinwoo help him with homework when he doesn’t understand, nor would he rather hit anyone else on the head with things whenever myungjun falls asleep
    • jinwoo thinks that he wouldn’t want to ride the bus with anyone else but myungjun and dongmin, nor would he like to play games and run around with anyone else
    • myungjun thinks that he wouldn’t want to protect anyone else except jinwoo and dongmin, nor would he rather come home to any other friends each night
    • they go to sleep in their tent not too much later, squishing as close together on the air mattress as they can in order to stay warm (and definitely not bc all of them are a little emotional about how much they love each other, its not that at all)
  • when myungjun is 13.2, jinwoo is 11.2, and dongmin is 10: 
    • dongmin’s family announces that they’re moving once again for his father’s work
    • they don’t really know how to react bc “what do you mean dongmin won’t live across the street anymore?? what about the 3 musketeers?? what about all our adventure plans??”
    • dongmin cries when he tells them bc he doesn’t want to leave them and myungjun and jinwoo just hug him and try not to cry themselves, insisting that it would all be okay
    • dongmin doesn’t know that when he leaves, jinwoo and myungjun embrace each other instead and cry to one another bc their third musketeer is leaving??
    • the day they leave, jinwoo and myungjun aren’t even really sure how they haven’t started crying yet
    • they stand on the curb with dongmin while their parents talk with his parents as the moving van finishes being packed and is closed 
    • and dongmin’s parents motion that its time for them to go and so dongmin hikes his backpack higher onto his back and wraps his arms as tightly as he can around jinwoo as tears begin sliding from his eyes
    • dongmin: “i’m going to miss you so much jinwoo hyung”
    • jinwoo: “i’ll miss you too, but its okay dongmin, we have our emails and you have my phone number, and myungjun’s too… we’ll still talk every day”
    • dongmin wants to tell him that it won’t be the same but he needs to hurry and finish his goodbye’s
    • so he turns to myungjun and throws his arms around him too, burying his face into the eldest boy’s neck
    • dongmin: “i’m going to miss you so much too myungjun hyung”
    • and myungjun has never really been one for words so he presses his lips to dongmin’s forehead instead just before they pull away
    • dongmin: “promise me you guys won’t stop protecting me”
    • and all of a sudden all of them are taken back to the first time they met and pinky promises made while talking about their plans to go on an adventure in space
    • jinwoo is trying really hard not to cry at that so myungjun takes over instead: “of course not dongmin, we’ll always be looking out for you! and next time we see each other, we’ll be ready to leave for space”
    • and then he smiles so widely, and pulls both boys in for one last group hug before dongmin rushes to his parents car and climbs in the backseat
    • his hands are pressed to the glass and he waves at myungjun and jinwoo until the car turns the corner and he can no longer see them standing at the end of what was once his driveway and then he cries even more bc now it’s real, and he won’t see them anymore
    • and myungjun continues smiling until the car turns the corner bc he wants to make sure that dongmin’s last memory of him is the same as his first and isn’t one of him crying, he doesn’t want dongmin to remember him like that
    • once their parents take them back to the park residence, jinwoo is crying into myungjun’s chest and tears are sliding down myungjun’s cheeks silently bc they really just had to say goodbye to their best friend of 5 years and they’re not ready for him to go
    • they fall asleep like that, huddled together on jinwoo’s bed, and once again it’s the 2 of them against the world, just like it had been when they were little
    • after that jinwoo and myungjun are closer than ever bc they may have lost dongmin but they were determined not to also lose each other 

the end of this had me crying as i wrote it but i had to have some kind of drama happen in their lives right? (thats what I’m trying to tell myself anyways). part 2 soon?? (hopefully)