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The Ellen Show: Chapter 5

A/N: Wishing you all a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. Hope you enjoy. :D

The Ellen Show Master List

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“I think that one looks lovely.”

I looked up to Charlie, phone in hand as it rested under her chin.

“You think?” I said pulling up the slinky silvery gown. I glanced into the mirror again turning to the side letting the dress drop and brushing my hand along my body. “I don’t know.” I cringed slightly.

We had been trying on dresses for the premieres of the movie that began in London in two days.

London was a long low cut and very fitted emerald dress. Japan a short white frilly dress with strong shoulders. But L.A the most important of the premiers was falling short of something to wear.

Turning in the mirror again I looked at the dress, as I did I noticed one of the stylists in the back of the room moving a rack of dresses.

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A/N: Wishing you all a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. Hope you enjoy. :D

The Ellen Show Master List

<< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>

“I think that one looks lovely.”

I looked up to Charlie, phone in hand as it rested under her chin.

“You think?” I said pulling up the slinky silvery gown. I glanced into the mirror again turning to the side letting the dress drop and brushing my hand along my body. “I don’t know.” I cringed slightly.

We had been trying on dresses for the premieres of the movie that began in London in two days.

London was a long low cut and very fitted emerald dress. Japan a short white frilly dress with strong shoulders. But L.A the most important of the premiers was falling short of something to wear.

Turning in the mirror again I looked at the dress, as I did I noticed one of the stylists in the back of the room moving a rack of dresses.

“What about that one?” I said turning to her. She looked up startled. Slowly I walked over and motioned to a black dress covered in sequins and beads. The girl pulled it off the rack to display a noir strappy dress. Cautiously I reached to touch it looking to the girl holding it, wanting approval. This kind of dress was clearly special.

“It’s Elie Saab.” The girl spoke, as my fingertips brushed over the beadwork of floral patterns. The amount of detail on the dress was impeccable. This wasn’t fashion,  it was art. I stood touching the dress and trailing along its intricate detail.

“Let’s try on that one.” Charlie spoke.

We slipped on the new dress and I went to stand in front of the mirror.

I caught my breath. “Oh wow.”

The dress was absolutely mesmerising. The thin black straps on my shoulders were lightly detailed with black beads, right where my collarbones protruded. The fabric on the chest gathered from both sides into a twist in the middle of my chest, giving me a nice shape to my small curves. After the satin waistband, the fabric dress bloomed and hugged the hips. As the detail of the beadwork moved down lower the dress became sheerer and contained more volume. Showing the amount of contrast in the hand embroidery.

“That’s the one.” Charlie spoke. And this time I knew she wasn’t just saying that to get me to pick one. “Now, what shoes?” She directed to the stylist. A few of them came to me and slipped on shoes and jewellery.

As they swarmed around me I just watched myself in the mirror. That dress was made for beautiful people and I only wondered if I could ever possibly be one of those people.

“Alright.” We will come and grab you in about fifteen minutes and bring you backstage, Charlie spoke to me over the chattering.

I nodded and she quickly strolled off into the seating behind me.

The lights dimmed and the crowd started up again, the host for this year’s MTV Video Awards then introduced the next two award announcers and they came out onstage. Once announcing the winner the next performance came.

When the lights went out Charlie and a small crew of people swarmed to me. I followed them through the seating and into the back of the stage to join Charlie Puth who would be announcing the award with you.

The two of you made friendly small talk as you waited to be called out to stage. You were handed a card containing the winner inside. You passed it to Charlie. “Here. You can announce it if you like?” He passed it off saying that he was fine with you doing it. You kept it in your hands that began to grow sweaty. Charlie talking kept you distracted as you both waited.

The stage lights came on and you hear the host come again. She introduced the both of you for the next award. A man then began to push you off onto the stage as the music came over the venue playing Charlie’s song.

Both of you walked to mid-stage and mic came up along with a TelePrompTer. The lights were blinding up above so you were forced to smile down into the crowd. The crowd cheered for a while, the lines on the screen having to jump back numerous times. You had been given your lines before so you had a small idea of what they entailed. Charlie began speaking and you followed. You read off the TelePrompTer calmly, the lines were simple and you hardly needed them. Looking out into the audience numerous times confidently.

“And now the Nominees.” You read, giving a large smile as you waved your hand to the huge monitors behind you.

Both you and Charlie looked up as the video ran through. Suddenly your heart skipped. Shawn’s face came over the screen as his new music video released during the summer began to play in snippets. You had known he was here at the award show, but you had no idea that he was nominated for this award.

You looked away from the screen out to the crowd. It had been almost two months since the last time you had talked to him. For a very long time after the last phone call you had, you only hoped that you had been wrong and that Shawn had been just having a day. You hope he genuinely didn’t believe that you had been conspiring with Zach.  But all that hope was gone when you had communicated to Charlie to keep them updated on your schedule. She had contacted Andrew and had been given the cold shoulder when she presented the possibility of us getting together after these awards since the both of us would be in town.

“I’d give up on that.” Charlie told me. “Zach ruined it for you.”

I listened to her and had accepted that Shawn had bad feelings towards me. He had valid reasons for feeling the way he did. But I was still bitter, I hadn’t liked the way things had happened, and how he made me feel for it. I desperately didn’t like having someone dislike me for something that I never did, but there was nothing I could do.

My heart began to beat fast as I stood onstage and I felt uneasy. If Shawn were to win this award I wasn’t sure what I would do. I began to get scared at the idea. Different scenarios began to play in my head but were interrupted as Charlie leant closer to me. The video on the monitor changed.

Quickly I looked up to make my face too look more pleased. A small smile crossed my lips as Charlie spoke into the microphone. “And the award for Best Male Video goes too…”

He looked to me and I reached down to the card in my hand. My hand was shaking, nervous for what the black lettering inside would read. I opened up the card, my heart stopped.

I smiled up at the audience and spoke into the microphone. “Drake, Hotline Bling.”

Drakes song came over the audience and I watched as he got up from his seat in the distance. Looking out into the audience I realised Shawn was watching me. He had to be. This thought made me nervous again. Drake came up and gave me a hug as he accepted his award. I pretended to watch Drake as he spoke into the microphone but I was actually thinking about if I looked all right. Was I standing tall enough? Did I look slim enough, pretty enough? As much as I wanted to deny it, I was asking myself these things now because I knew two eyes out of the thousands in the room were watching me.

The rest of the award show went on without a hitch. At the end, I stood up and mingled with a few people around me before making my way into the back of the stage. Charlie escorted me.

This award show compared to the first one in July was very different. People now came up to me, rather than I to them. Fans in big cities would find me, or occasionally recognise me. Not often but more frequently photographers would know my locations and follow me.  Things had really progressed over the past few months since Zach had signed the contract release papers.

Charlie had done really well under the colossal amount of pressure she had been thrused into. She had landed me major interviews and photo shoots and gotten myself out of the ‘less desirable’ ones. She was a trailblazer, watching her within an intense situation was fascinating and majestic. She moved people like the Red Sea Crossing. I began to truly feel that she was everything I ever needed in a manager.

She had done a really great job for all the premiers, and she always informed me on the successes. Often she would send me reviews of the movie or snippets of E! News or Access Hollywood that were positive. The negative she also kept me up to date on as long as it was relevant.  

Two days before the Los Angeles premiere, my family flew down to see me. We all went out for a celebratory dinner for the movie since I had not been able to since filming. Mid-dinner Charlie had been scrolling through her phone because she hardly put it down. She began yelling in excitement and finally spat out that Singin’ in the Rain had been nominated for six Golden Gobles. One of the six was for me, for Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical. Everyone at my table erupted in excitement, but I sat motionlessly.  It was one of those moments you always dreamed of. But when it happened nothing feels right. It doesn’t feel real. You always had an idea of what you would do during a moment like that, but all I could do was tell them to stop lying to me. Which they found assuming.

Ever since the nomination my popularity had taken lift off. People knew my name, they were asking for pictures, or just taking them. There was Oscar buzz around the movie and myself, however, nominations had not been voted for yet, and I fought to not get my hopes up.

Regardless, the movie had been doing very well, it wasn’t a blockbuster but it was wildly acclaimed, which was the only thing I ever wanted. The highest achievement for me.

So walking around backstage at the awards these few months later was radically different. After speaking with a few people and groups I stopped and began speaking with a director. After a minute or two, he informed me he was the director for Shawn’s music video. I got nervously uncomfortable but remained polite. We continued to talk for a while until I noticed a tall figure emerging from the crowd surrounding us.

“Hey.” Shawn said placing a hand on the man’s shoulder. My heart was pounding and my cheeks felt warm. The director turned and smiled brightly to Shawn. They asked how one another was doing before the director turned to me asking if Shawn knew me.

Shawn glanced at me for the first time since joining the conversation. His expression was awkward and hesitant. “Uh. Yeah, we know one another.”

I raised my eyebrows and gave a stiff smile.  The director seemed oblivious to the tension I was sensing from Shawn towards myself. Suddenly the director recognised someone behind me and waved to them, saying he needed to leave but said it was good to meet me. He left saying goodbye to Shawn before it was just myself and Shawn and alone, in the massive room of people.

We both stared at one another, I tried to remain neutral but my expression slowly hardened as we stared at one another. The tension was thick, and I refused to say anything. It only made me mad that he stood there looking at me so smug. It felt as if he had this power over me, and I didn’t like it one bit. I felt like an idiot for the past few months at my attempts to remain friendly only to be refused. The longer we stood there just looking silently at one another the more my anger and frustration grew.  Saying anything now would only make it worse.

However, I didn’t keep my mouth shut.

“I never used you.” I blurted out, my voice was hard. “I never knew about what Zach did until you did. Never once, ever, had my intentions been to use you to get ahead in my career. Because you know what. I never needed you.” The energy poured out, that I had pent up and kept in for the past few months. Shawn stared at me, he looked defensive, nonetheless, I didn’t care.

“I landed myself five episodes on a major T.V show as my first gig. I got myself cast as a lead role in a major production.” I spoke passionately, emphasising the ‘major production’. “Fuck I’ve been nominated for Golden Globe, for that movie. A Golden fucking Globe!  For a movie, I got cast in and filmed all before I had ever met you! I did all that myself before you. So you don’t get to look at me all smug with the satisfaction of thinking that somehow those few pictures launched my career.” I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry they happened. I’m sorry that my manager went behind my back and violated our privacy. But I had no idea. I would have liked to explain that to you but you never gave me the chance. Instead, you just made me feel like an idiot for trying. Which really fucking sucks you know?” I shook my head, waving my hand and looked away from him.

“But whatever, that doesn’t matter. All I wanted to say was that. I had no idea, and I’m sorry it happened.“ I paused. “And now that I finally got to say it, I can stop feeling guilty for something that I never even did.”

I looked up at him. He was looking to me, but his face was expressionless. I couldn’t read him. I stared into his big brown eyes, as the room chattered loudly around us, but found nothing. I went to say more opening my mouth but was cut off by Charlie saying my name.

“Photo op with Hailee Steinfeld.” She said touching my arm. I looked at her and then back to Shawn. Without saying a word I followed Charlie into the crowd, brushing past Shawn. Charlie pulled me in farther and farther before turning me around in the middle of the crowd.

“I thought I was supposed to take a picture?” I question looking around.

Charlie smiled. “No picture… yet. I just saw that conversation looked intense and thought I should intervene.”

Although I was annoyed for a moment I then felt grateful for Charlie, because the embarrassment from what I had done began to settle in.

“Shawn wants to meet me?” I spoke out loud as we stepped into the hotel elevator.

Charlie looked to me and gave me a side eye up from her phone. “What did he say?”

I looked down onto my phone and read the grey text bubble. “He just asked if I was free to get together to talk?”

“When?” Charlie asked as the elevator began to go up.

“Not sure.” As I began to type in that exact question for Shawn. But right as I hovered over send I stopped myself. “I don’t know if I want to go?”

Charlie gave me a look and shrugged her shoulders, but said nothing.

“I mean what would he want to talk about?” I had an idea about the topic obviously, but I didn’t know if the conversation would end pleasantly or not. The curiosity got me and I hit send. Shawn began to respond right away.

Are you free tonight?

Looking up to Charlie I answered her question. “Tonight?”

“Well, you’re free. But you’ve got an early morning. It’s up to you?”

We exited the elevator and walked down the hall in silence as I thought to myself.

“Yeah. I’m going to go.” I finally said as I put in my key to the door. Charlie stood next to me waiting for me. She nodded and without questions let me know what time we needed to leave the following morning. Once entering my room I texted Shawn asking for the location. He answered back right away.

Quickly I slipped out of my dress from the award show and hung it up on a hanger rack. I put on a pair of jeans and a cosy sweater, the New York nights were chilly. It reminded me of Canada, which I found comforting. I put on my black trench coat and left for the addresses Shawn gave me. I hoped the few fans outside the hotel when I had come in had left, so I could walk the six blocks north. As I walked out into the cool October air, I ducked my head and sneaked myself past the concierge. I caught a glimpse of a few girls young girls, but they seemed to be paying no attention. Once out of sight I lifted my head and made my way through the streets. Within fifteen minutes I had made it to the small bagel and coffee house that advertised they were open late.  

Walking around I looked for Shawn, but didn’t see him. I took a seat off to the centre of the room at a booth. A waiter came and asked for an order, I requested coffee, cream and sugar. As I waited, I watched the people in the room with me. It was half-past twelve in the morning and I found the people in the room with me interesting. I wondered why they were up, and here no less. Did they work evenings or nights, and were here for something to eat before or after their shift? Were they night owls or just couldn’t sleep? I watched a few of them for awhile before the door opened and Shawn walked inside. He stood tall at the door looking for me. I looked at him calmly, as my heart skipped a beat when I saw him. As much as I lied to myself, he took my breath away for all the wrong reasons.

His eyes scanned the room and finally met with mine. He didn’t smile and nor did I. As he walked to me I kept my expression calm and open. He came and stood at the side of the booth.

“Hi.” He said hesitantly.

I looked up to him, feeling my lashes touch my lids. “Hi.” I answered, my voice serene. We looked at one another for a moment before Shawn placed his hands on the table to slide in. As he did I looked down nervously and took a deep breath. I didn’t look up until I had to. I pressed my lips together as I looked up.

He looked nice but nervous. I found this interesting. His cheeks were rosy from the cold, hair a little messy and fluffy. We both looked at one another saying nothing. I was extremely awkward, so I was thankful when the waiter came to bring me my coffee. He asked if Shawn wanted anything.

Shawn looked up at the waiter, his long lashes fluttering and then back to my coffee. “Coffee.” He finally stuttered.

I dragged myself away from his eyes and began to pour cream and sugar into my coffee. As I placed my spoon in the cup, I looked up to Shawn. His hands were in one another on the table, he looked down to them uncomfortably. His Columbia jacket bunched up at his shoulders. For the first time, he looked small to me.

He sighed uncomfortably and reluctantly looked up to me. I stared him in the eyes, unsure of what to do. He sat still looking at me.

Seeing that he wasn’t planning to speak. I reached for my coffee. “So, what did you want to meet about?” I spoke gently before taking a sip.

“Uh, well.” He paused as I place my coffee back on the table. He watched me as I held the warmth in my hands. He remained silent for much longer. “I wanted to say I was sorry.”

He played with the silver ring around his middle finger nervously. I waited for him to say more.

“I shouldn’t have been rude to you.” His eyes fluttered up, showing his dark brown eyes. “I realise now I was wrong to do that. I never gave you the chance to explain or even prove it wasn’t you. I just jumped to conclusions and made assumptions.” He paused, looking at me sincerely. “I’m really sorry.”

Then he looked away from my gaze, and I looked away as well to the table apprehensively. “It’s alright,” I spoke. “I don’t blame you. I understand.” I began to fiddle with my thumbs. Having Shawn sitting here so nervously made me feel very guilty for how I had behaved earlier.

“I’m actually sorry for how I behaved earlier.” I looked up to him, and he was looking at me intensely, his eyes big. He looked like a small child looking up to their parents while being scolded. I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t blame you for thinking I was a part of it. I think I was just frustrated because you had the wrong idea of me. And I didn’t want that.”

I leant back in the booth chair. “Because as much as I don’t want to admit it. I give a shit what you think about me.”

For a long time, we sat in silence and I refused to look up but eventually I did. Shawn was looking to me. His expression more relaxed. We looked at one another waiting for the other to say something, but the longer we went without speaking the more the grin on our lips grew. It grew and grew until it was a laugh.

“Maybe we should just start over.” I said my giggle fading away.

Shawn smiled across the table. “I like that idea.”

We both sat awkwardly. He then leant forward on the table. “So how do we do that?”

I shook my head smiling. “I have no idea?”

We looked again to one another, both grinning awkwardly. The waiter then came and placed Shawn coffee on the table.

I reached out to the waiter. “Oh excuse me. Could we actually get that to go?” Shawn looked to me confused as the waiter took the coffee away.

“What?” Shawn questioned.

“Go with it.” I smiled at him mischievously. “I have somewhere I’ve been wanting to go.”

Shawn looked at me cautiously.

I raised a brow playfully. “Better than sitting her awkwardly looking at one another.”

His cheeks filled as he grinned, but he said nothing more.

Quickly I looked up directions as the waiter brought back a cup for myself and Shawn’s coffee in a cup. I placed my coat back on and we left out into the door.

“Where are we going?” Shawn asked as he walked next to me. He placed his free hand into his jacket pocket.

“Just go with it.” I smiled. “And don’t judge me on how cheesy it is.”

Shawn narrowed his eyes. “Are we going to Times Square?”

I looked at him embarrassed. “Yes…” I answered slowly. He began to laugh. “Am I really that predictable?” I asked throwing my head back.

“Yes.” Shawn joked giving me a nudge with his arm.

I stopped in my tracks and threw up my hands playfully. “Well, now it’s ruined.”

Shawn stopped walking with me and turned to me. As he spoke white clouds came from his mouth. “No. It’s not.” Bouncing on his toes he began to move ahead. He turned around walking backwards hand still in pockets and smiled to me when I hadn’t followed him. “C’mon.” I smiled and quickly jogged to meet up with him to begin our walk.

“By the way, congratulations on the Golden Globe Nomination!” Shawn said turning to me turning his shoulders towards me and taking a sip of his coffee.

I smiled brightly at him and then shyly looked away. “Oh thank you.”

Shawn looked forward and smiled. “That’s pretty amazing.”

I looked forward too. “Yeah it is, isn’t it. A little surreal.” I turned to him. “I’m sorry I threw that at you earlier.” I said moments later, once remember what I had said to him earlier.

Shawn told me not to worry about it and reminded me that we were starting anew. We talked a few more blocks north entering into the Theatre District, talking about work and his tour. I liked how passionately he talked about his tours and songs.

“Oh, there it is.” I said as we walked up the block. I could faintly see a lot of bright lights. We walked up the rest of the block before entering on to the beginning of Times Square. I kept going on about how amazing it was. It was nothing like I had imagined. It was a little dirty and some parts were blocked off with construction. But looking up and seeing all the lights was amazing, like another world.

The both of us crossed the street and I began to take pictures, as I did I felt Shawn watching me. We walked around and then walked up big red steps, joining many others who were doing the same as I.

“Wow, this is so pretty.” I said for what was probably the twentieth time.

Shawn looked up and round. The yellow and red lights colouring his skin and eyes. “Yeah it is.” He smiled. I watch him, caught within his allure.

“I played here once.” He spoke a few moments later.

Wide eyed I turned to him. “You did?”

He turned to me, his smile big. “Yeah just down there.” He pulled out his arm from his pocket and pointed down to the end of the steps, before turning and smiling at me. “It was a long time ago.” He paused and looked down to the spot he had pointed out. “Two years actually.”

He looked to me again and I smiled but said nothing.

As I continued to take pictures, Shawn joined me.

“Oh, Shawn look!” I said pointing to an advertisement on a big screen. It was for Shawn’s album.

Shawn looked at me confused before following to where I was pointing to. He smiled brightly as he recognised it. “Oh wow.” He whispered as I watched him look out.

We stood a few moments before Shawn turned to me frantically and bright eyed. He quickly brought up his phone. “Here can you take a picture?”

I quickly took the phone from him and he posed for the photo. I quickly zoomed in to get him and the screen with his album cover on it. He smiled and even through the small phone screen with all bright lights his smile was still the thing that stood out the most. He looked so much like a small child posing for a picture. I tapped my finger on the circle multiple times, and then zoomed out and got a few more.

I smiled and looked up to him to signal I had gotten the shot.

“Got it?” He asked.

I nodded and lowered the phone expecting he would walk towards me and take it. But instead, he looked back to the sign. He stood watching. Lifting his phone and took one last picture without him knowing. His silhouette blocking out the lights. I caught his advertisement just past his figure and took a few pictures. Seconds later the advertisement disappeared.  Shawn turned his lips pressed together in a happy grin. He came close to me and took the phone from me, our hands brushing. Our eye locked just for a moment, as we touched, the warmth of our breathing creating plumes of white. I looked away and released the phone into his waiting hand. He then opened the phone still standing close. I looked away, pretending my attention was not on him.

We spend about another ten minutes in the middle of the square before I looked at my phone. It was getting closer to two in the morning. “I probably should go back.” I said hesitantly. “I’ve got an early morning.”

“Oh, yeah for sure.” Shawn said shaking his head as if to say not to worry. “Let me at least walk you back to your hotel.”

I insisted he didn’t need to walk me back but he persisted. Eventually, I got him to settle on taking the Subway with me since the closest station was just half a block down the street from my hotel, and his hotel was along the southbound line as well.

“Sorry, I didn’t pick a less predictable place to check out.” I spoke as we stepped up onto the kerb after crossing the street.

“Don’t worry. Everyone has to see it for the first time eventually.”  

Shawn shook his coffee cup which was empty and signalled for mine, which was almost finished but now cold. I handed it to him and he threw it in the trash before he returned to my side.

“So this is your first time in New York?” He asked, before taking the hood of his jacket and covering his cute fluffy hair. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked to me.

“Uh. No. I’ve come a few times but I’ve never gotten the time to really explore.” We took a few more steps. “What about you? Have you been able to check out the city?”

He grinned looking up into the sky. “A little. I’ve been a few times. Gotten to see some places.”

I looked up brightly. “Tell me.”

“Madison Square Garden was amazing.” He smiled.

I rolled my eyes to him playfully.

He smiled and gave a laugh. “What?”

I smiled gently. “Of course you would say that.”

Shawn shrugged and looked away. But said nothing more.

“Well,” I said and he looked up eyes bright and listening. “Tell me more. What was so great about it?”

Shawn turned to me, the way he smiled from my wanting to know more was beyond gratifying. He began to ramble on about the concert he had performed there. As he spoke, he grew in excitement, at some points he talked so fast from topic to topic, I hardly knew what he was saying. However, instead of listening to what he was talking about I found myself more consumed with him and how much enthusiasm he had. I tried to keep up my expressions, encouraging him to talk more.

“MSG is still my favourite.” He finished as we grew closer to the station. “I want to see more. But obviously, that’s hard to do sometimes.”

I nodded understanding what he was implying.

We finally reached the station and walked down waiting on the platform for the train.

“When are you free next?” Shawn asked rocking on his toes.

I burrowed my brows and looked to the platform trying to think of my schedule. “I don’t know actually,” I said looking up. “I’m going to be in L.A for the next few months. I’ve got some work down there for a while.”

Shawn raised his eyebrow playfully. “Work?”

I knew he was pressing for specifics, but I played along giving a teasing grin, swinging my shoulders side to side. “Yes, work.”

We stared at one another for a few moments, but I gave in. “New movie.”

“Well, that’s exciting.”

I grinned. “Yeah. It is.”

Just then we could hear the train coming into the station. We looked at it and then back to one another before stepping closer to the edge of the platform. The train blew by fast making my hair swirl around me. I looked up to Shawn his fluffy hair was also swirling at his forehead. I grinned quickly before looking away so he wouldn’t catch me.

Opening the door for the cart we entered inside and stood to hold onto the pole in the middle. I held on close to it and Shawn did too. It became painfully obvious to me how close we were together, I felt Shawn standing tall over me, but I never stepped away. We looked to one another. I looked too long and I knew it. But being so close I began to see things about him I never noticed before. There was a small shallow scar on his cheek, his eyes were much lighter closer up, and I couldn’t help but notice how gentle his lips looked, even though they were a little chapped. Suddenly the train jolted forward, forcing us to look away from one another to catch our footing. We kept our eyes away from one another as we pulled forward.

“Well if I’m in town while you’re free would you want to get together?” Shawn spoke as the train left the station.

I looked up and grinned. “Yeah, that would be good.” I paused and looked away feeling that I had looked at Shawn too long again, but it could have also been due to how close our faces were.  “Keep me updated on where you’re at.”

We stood silently in the middle of the train holding onto the pole until we pulled into the next station.

I spoke breaking the long silence. “I’m glad we met tonight. Settled everything.”

Shawn grinned standing tall, his eyes looking down to me. “I am too.”

We said nothing more. Unsure of what to say. Pretending to watch the concrete walls of the tunnel pass by, while we stood so close to one another. I wanted to say something, anything, but couldn’t find words. After what felt a very long time I saw the light from the next station in the distance. We both watched as we pulled into the station fast.

I looked up to Shawn. “Well, keep me updated.” The train slowed right down and I held on tight to the pole.

“I will.” Shawn spoke quietly.

For the last time, I looked up through my lashes and smiled to Shawn, keeping my lips tightly together. He did the same.

The train came to a complete stop and taking a deep breath I let go of the pole. “Bye Shawn.” I spoke as I brushed around him.

I heard him say goodbye as I reached for the door. It opened and I stepped out a few steps on the platform, leaving all my empty word with him.

I heard Shawn call my name and turned to look at him. He stood in the cart still holding onto the pole but facing me. The lights inside the cart, lighting him up brightly in the underground station. He smiled and raised his hand in a wave, right before the doors closed.

I grinned brightly and raised my hand to him. We stood on opposite sides of the plexiglass doors staring at one another as I lowered my hand. A ding came through the platform and the train slowly pulled forward. Slowly he was pulled away. We watch one another as long as possible until he and the train disappeared into the dark tunnel, taking my breath with them.

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southerncalcosette  asked:

Which Christine costumes had the most love/care/devotion put into them, which have the most detail etc.? I've noticed the Spanish productions seem to take a lot of time to make their costumes super well!

(This post is really long so I apologize if the read more doesn’t work for those of you on mobile)

So in terms of love/care/devotion, details, tailoring and and faithfulness to the essence of the original design is important. 

Hands down, for me it will always be the US costumes. I’m biased because I worked in the shop and I spent half the time getting lectured on precision and the importance of tracing every line, cutting every seal and laying every trim JUST so. And it’s one of the first things I thought of when I read “care and devotion” in the question because it was just INSANE watching the way those things were built up from muslin bases. And I look at the US costumes and it’s just… so much thought was clearly put into them. Something as simple as the engageantes going from high to low (and being so damn fluffy while they’re at it):

As opposed to this, because this just looks really weird:

The costumes are at their best when they are in fact custom tailored to the actress, and hand me downs are generally pretty meh because we end up with things like sleeves that are too short, and baggy or blocky fitting bodices.

But WHEN they are custom made, MAN US costumes get my vote for best tailoring, hands down. 

It’s not even just the details, it’s the fact that they go above and BEYOND, I mean just LOOK at the way the flounce extends from the center of the bodice all around the hips. No other production bothers with that, most of them just attach the first flounce to the waist and call it a day. I’m also of course head over heels in love with the ornate detailing on the angel chestplate:

Then there’s the fact that you know I think the US Wedding gowns are freaking diamonds. Whereas a lot of versions of the wedding gown tend to be sparse in the lace on the skirt or sparse in the bodice decorations, the US ones strike a perfect balance between both portions and it’s made incredible ornate by that silver lace (hence DIAMONDS).

Sometimes I wish the Wishing gowns didn’t look like they had so many “straight lines”, which is the look the blue ribbon trim all around the gown can give when seen from the back of the theatre, but look at how gorgeous these backdrapes and panniers are:

Ungathered panniers bug the crap out of me. They hang straight and look weird:

I could go on but I feel like people are already rolling my eyes at me gushing about the US costumes yet again hehe.

BUT for the sake of fairness, I’m gonna talk about other productions too!

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X-Files Fic: She’s Beauty, She’s Grace- Chapter Seven

Note: Special thanks to @crossedbeams (who has all the best ideas) for her help and ideas with the interview section; it was driving me crazy!!!

Also, special thanks to @emceecapitalc, whose wishes regarding Elise led to a completely new storyline that I’m loving like crazy!

Previous chapters: one | two | three | four | five | six

Six o’clock arrives far too quickly, and before she knows it, Scully’s sitting at her changing station in the dressing room again, doing her best to calm herself down and stop shaking long enough for Elise to finish applying her makeup.  She feels as though what little dinner she’d been able to force down will be making a reappearance at any moment.  She tries to wipe the sweat accumulating on her palms onto her dress- the same sparkly silver gown all the contestants are wearing for the opening number- but the sequined fabric is not the slightest bit absorbent.

Elise finishes Scully’s makeup, dusts her face with powder, and comes around to the front of the chair, crouching down and taking Scully’s hands in hers.

“Dana,” she says, keeping her voice low, “just try and relax.  You’re going to be just fine.”

“She’s right,” says Skinner, who is standing to the side.  “This isn’t any more frightening that any of the other nonsense you and Mulder have gotten yourselves into, is it?”  Scully shakes her head, not trusting herself to open her mouth, lest she gets sick.

“You’re all set,” says Elise, and Scully stands on shaky legs.  “Oh, hang on a second, your bra’s showing a little bit.  Let me grab a safety pin.”  She dashes off, and a moment later, Tina appears, smiling shyly.

“Katherine?”  Scully turns, hoping her complete and abject terror isn’t showing on her face.

“Tina, hi!” she says, fighting to keep her voice steady.

“I just wanted to wish you luck,” Tina says, bending over and giving Scully a friendly hug.  When she stands back up again, she’s looking concerned.  “Katherine, you’re trembling,” she says, in a soft voice that doesn’t carry.  “Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” says Scully, pasting on a shaky smile.  “I always get like this right before I go onstage, don’t worry.”  Tina doesn’t look entirely convinced.

“She does, believe me,” says Skinner.  “She’ll be absolutely fine the moment she sets foot onstage.”  He claps a comforting hand on Scully’s shoulder.

Suddenly, the smile drops off of Tina’s face.  She’s looking over Scully’s shoulders with wide, shocked eyes, but before Scully can turn, she hears Elise’s voice behind her.

“All right, crisis averted!  I’ve got a safety pin!  Let me see that strap and we’ll just-“  Elise freezes in place when she sees Tina, and all the color leaves her face.  "Tina,” she says in a soft voice.

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i have a slight obsession with pakistani wedding dresses cos i mean

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look at them

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they’re like royalty

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and all those little patterns

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are beadwork and embroidery

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and just

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i love my culture

On a less depressing note:


I’m going to finish this one fucking tapestry that’s been giving me FITS for MONTHS and then I’m going to start patterning stuff out! 

I take commissions! (Expensive comissions usually, but then custom pattern/beadwork with often over 100,000 beads…) for all my SCA peeps! 

And if anyone has ANY art of Obi-Wans RE-entry marriage tattoo, I NEED IT! I’ve got the most gorgeous green-blue peacock beads that I want to use for something big, and it would be a fun project. Or even the words/script, I can make a pattern off that too. 

Olicity: Mad At You

Anonymous said: Felicity sleeping on the couch after a fight with bae, and bae coming down seeing her tear stained cheeks while she’s sleeping and carrying her to bed with him. The baes end up snuggling and making up. ^_^

Originally posted by bratvaolicity

“Felicity, wake up.”

She shifts awake slowly, that still-sleeping confusion leaving her wondering why she’s looking at the back cushions of the couch. The fabric is so close to her face she frowns until she feels the hand gently shaking at her shoulder, and then she shifts onto her other side, seeing Oliver crouched before her.

“What are you doing down here?” he asks her.

“Sleeping on the couch,” she says, her tired voice as stroppy as she intends it to be. “Act of defiance. I’m still mad at you.”

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