You’ll meet a guy and you’ll think he’s the best person that ever existed. You’ll fall in love and be consumed by it. You’ll imagine a million different versions of your future and how your happily ever after might unfold that you forget about your own future, your own hopes and dreams that are separate from his. But, remember darling, falling in love doesn’t mean that you fall out of yourself.
I wish someone had told me this sooner #2 - Jess Amelia
When I was in fourth grade, I wanted to read Harry Potter. Someone in my class told me I couldn’t because it wasn’t in my level and I wouldn’t understand it. I read Harry Potter just to spite him. I’ve reread it a million times, it’s one of my favourites. I realised after reread and reread that I didn’t understand it in fourth grade.
When I was in sixth grade, I wanted to read the classics. I read the Bell Jar, Red Badge of Courage, Shakespeare, and as many as I could find. I couldn’t tell you what they said. But I looked like I could read at a higher level than I could. I read the same books and plays in high school. They made sense, I enjoyed them, I read them not to prove something but because I wanted to.
When I was in eighth grade, I only read murder mysteries and criminal books. That’s what more advanced readers read. I wanted to prove that I could read as well as someone twice, three times my age. I enjoyed them, but it was because I was proving something.
When I was in college I reread the series of unfortunate events. I loved every single book, every single line. I’d forgotten what it was like to read a book because I wanted to. I read young adult novels more than anything because I like them. I don’t care that they’re below my level, that they’re ‘too’ young for me. I don’t care that people see me reading them.
I realised something. I was taught to read because I needed to. Intelligent people read, that’s how people become smart. Reading isn’t a waste of time like television. I wasn’t taught to love to read. No one is. I found a love of reading by giving up the idea that people gave a shit if I read or not. I enjoy it more than I should. I realised that instead of instilling the idea of doing something because it’s expected or because someone should do something, instill the idea of doing something because you want to. Instill the idea that happiness comes from what we choose, not what others have chosen for us.
I realised that when I’m happiest, when I have the most joy, it’s when I do something for me. It’s when there are no expectations, no drive to prove someone wrong. I realised that my happiest when all inhibitions and perceptions are gone. Maybe that’s how we should enjoy our hobbies.
Get to know someone before starting a relationship with them. Make them your best friend and let them become comfortable around you. I see so many relationships that are rushed and end early because each person failed to really know the person. When we meet someone, most of us aren’t ourselves at the start. We are nervous, taking small bites of food and making sure not to laugh too loud or obnoxiously. We don’t truly know how someone is like or what their actual personality is until some time has passed. Take your time with your relationships. Let yourself and the person become relaxed enough to show your true colors.