be owt

anonymous asked:

i wanna hear all about the cursed child when you finish it haha i've only seen spoilers so far but oh boy lol

ALL THE SPOILERS ARE TRUE AND JUST AS ABJECTLY RIDICULOUS IN CONTEXT AS THEY SOUND OUT OF CONTEXT, H O W E V E R, ALL THE SPOILERS NEGLECTED TO MENTION THAT: 

a) everything Scorpius Malfoy says and does will make you want to strap on armour and charge into battle for love of him, 

b) one of Scorpius’s first lines is ‘I’ve always regarded the Pepper Imp as the king of the confectionary bag’, which renders the whole Everyone Thinks Scorpius Is Voldemort’s Son subplot/mystery UTTERLY UNNECESSARY because OF COURSE THIS RIDICULOUS CHILD IS THE FRUIT OF DRACO MALFOY’S LOINS, 

c) Draco gets some weighty shit to say/is just Redemption Arc AF all the way through, so 

d) HAZ AND DRAZ MAKE FRIENDS and 

e) Draco gets to join The Gang for World-Saving Hijinks, which means 

f) some scenes are DRARRY AF AS FUCK, but mainly 

g) everything about this play will make you Team Malfoy Forever, holy shit, like, wtf, 

h) at one point Harry and Draco are duelling and Draco goes ‘Keep up, old man’ and Harry’s like ‘WE’RE THE SAME AGE, DRACO’ which made me laugh so hard I had to put the book down for a good five minutes, 

i) it also bears mentioning that RON AND HERMIONE ARE IN LOVE IN EVERY TIMELINE, god bless @whoever the hell wrote this thing, 

j) speaking of whoever wrote this thing, they took the whole ‘Harry couldn’t really hear the commentary during the first Triwizard Task very well from his position in the Champions’ Tent’ and handed us Ludo Bagman yelling DOG DIGGITY, CEDRIC DIGGORY, YOU ARE A DOGGY DYNAMO! which I will be forever thankful for, 

k) Albus and Scorpius make their great escape off the Hogwarts Express while it’s in motion and the trolley witch turns into a terrifying Immortal Guardian of the Train and hurls explosive pasties at them, while casually dropping into the admittedly weird conversation that Fred’n’George and the Marauders all tried to get off the train while it was moving, EMPHASIS ON ‘TRIED’, 

l) turns out my SCORP LAD WOT LAD “joke” was completely inaccurate as, world-ending and illegal shenanigans aside, Scorpius and Albus are BORING NERDS, but 

m) their entire relationship is a personification of the ‘I would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining’ text post, and 

n) I am 100% positive that by the time they turn 16 they will be Experimenting and Laughing It Off while also Staring Wistfully At Each Other While The Other One’s Not Paying Attention, because oh my god, they are completely smitten with each other, LITERALLY, 

o) when plot things happen and Harry won’t let them see each other anymore, there’s an ENTIRE MONTAGE of them being DESOLATE AND DISTRAUGHT, the word “heartbroken” is used about both of them, Draco bursts into Harry and Ginny’s house like ‘MY SON IS IN TEARS POTTER, WTF’, it’s all very Fraught and Forbidden Romance-y, and when they’re allowed to be friends again they’re like ‘you’re… the best person I know… you… make me stronger…’ ‘…!! … that’s so nice… I didn’t like my life without you in it… !!!’ and then Albus tells Scorpius he’s kind from the depths of his belly to the tips of his fingers which is the most ROMANTIC SHIT I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE, ALBUS POTTER GOT GAME SON, but anyway, they’re in love, fight me, WHAT ELSE? 

p) Harry does all the cooking, 

q) Draco gets excited about a farmer’s market, 

r) Ron is the fucking best person on planet earth, probably, 

s) Harry and Draco burst into Slytherin and try to get up to the dormitory to find Albus and Scorpius and this one kid is yelling at them like ‘PARENTS AREN’T ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE COMMON ROOMS WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF-’ and McGonagall just appears and says ‘Please don’t be tiresome, Craig’ and honestly if I was Craig I’d never show my face again, 

t) I forgot to mention that in the weird Voldemort Day Blood Ball Scorpion King AU Scorpius gets to talk to Snape and blah blah blah plot Snape is giving him a pep talk like ‘Think about Albus. You’re giving up your kingdom for Albus, right? One person. All it takes is one person.’ which is just… indescribably romo, and 

u) in the Voldemort Day Blood Ball Scorpion King AU dark Draco Malfoy is still better at dadding than regular timeline Harry Potter, which I don’t think any of us saw coming, 

v) Harry asks Draco what he wanted to do as a grown-up when he was a kid and Draco says ‘Quidditch. But I wasn’t good enough. Mainly I wanted to be happy.’ which is honestly just fucking savage and I can’t believe I lived through it, ALSO I had to read the line ‘It is exceptionally lonely, being Draco Malfoy’ with my own eyes, so I’m taking tomorrow off work, 

w) this incredibly soul-baring and candid convo comes on the heels of HARRY COMING FOR DUMBLEDORE(’S PORTRAIT) ABOUT HOW DUMBLEDORE TREATED HARRY AND I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE. he yells at Dumbledore until Dumbledore is LITERALLY WEEPING. I don’t even want to tell you what he says because you all need to experience that moment of cleansing rightness in your lives, 

x) despite all the batshit plot things, the play actually deals with all the characters’ traumas FAR BETTER than the series ever did. we get actual GINNY and TOM RIDDLE shit in this play guys! it gets talked about! how it affected Ginny gets talked about! Harry has nightmares! Harry vents his feelings! Draco tells Harry about how alone he felt and how that sent him to such a bad place! Draco, Ginny and Harry understand each other and bond over shared trauma! who the fuck expected this! not fucking me! 

y) I was emotional as hell throughout because I’m nothing if not dramatic but there’s a bit towards the very end involving HAGRID, THE BEST DUDE, that legit made me sob my little heart out from the agony of two decades’ worth of accumulated feelings about this series, 

 z) so yeah. Harry has to watch his parents die because Albus is a rebellious little emo gobshite who got a crush on a live-action DeviantArt OC from 2005 called Delphi who has silvery-blue hair and is secretly Voldemort and Bellatrix’s lovechild, BUT WHO CARES, I FUCKING LOVE HARRY POTTER AND I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE READING THIS OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED CRACKFIC, 10/10, WOULD EXPERIENCE PURE JOY AGAIN!!!!!

anonymous asked:

What if James Potter didn't reach Snape on the night of the prank? What happens next?

He was taller than he’d been when he left last summer, and his slim bare feet poked from the bottom of the bed, the hospital sheets barely covering his supine form.  His dark hair was splayed across the starched white pillow, and his black eyelids fluttered in his sleep.  He mumbled on occasion - his pale lips barely moving, his newly deepened voice murmuring softly, and his hands grasping anxiously at his coverings.

She toyed with the frayed edges of her robes until his large roughened hand covered her slender fingers.

“Stop that, love.”

“I can’t…”  Despite her best effort, her voice shook.  “I can’t, Toby.”  She glanced at her husband, his jaw still set in a grimace. He looked formidable, but she knew Tobias Snape better than any other, and his eyes betrayed his fear.  Although his frightful temper commanded respect in the backstreets of Cokeworth, Hogwarts was a very different world.  

Still, Tobias Snape was no coward.  His arm tightened around his wife’s shoulders.  “He’ll be right, love.”


“Now, I think we both know-”

Eileen’s voice was like steel.  “I want to hear you say it.”

Dumbledore faltered, his half smile almost slipping, but then he composed himself.  “My dear-”

“She’s my dear, not yers,” Tobias said, rising from his seat to stand in front of his wife.  “An’ I know yer can do all sorts with that stick, an’ Lord knows, I know yer ain’t scairt of me.  But if our lad deserves owt from all this, he at least deserves that you say it.  To his mother.”  He moved to Eileen’s side, and glared at the older man, his eyes as dark as his son’s.  “Say it.”

“…it was an unfortunate accident.”

“You did not know, perhaps?” Eileen stared levelly at her old Transfiguration teacher.  “No. Of course you knew.  And the rest of the staff, they knew as well, I assume?”

“The boy deserves an education.”

The fury built inside her. “At the expense of my son’s life? Didn’t you have a responsibility for his education as well?  For his wellbeing?”

Dumbledore polished his glasses.  “It was an accident.”

Tobias balled his fists and shoved them deep into his pockets.  “If it were an accident, then how can yer promise it ain’t gonna ‘appen to anyone else’s lad, eh?  Yer ain’t gonna ‘ave any other parents in ‘ere, apologisin’ to ‘em?  Not that yer’ve apologised ter us yet, might I add.”

“It is unfortunate, but ultimately, Severus shouldn’t have been-”

“I’m not listening to this,” Eileen said, standing, and looping her arm through Tobias’.  “I am not listening to you blame my son for you inviting a dangerous werewolf to live at this school.”

Dumbledore moved swiftly in front of the pair, blocking the exit from his study.  “I must assure you, had my precautions been adhered to and acted upon, there would’ve been no harm-”

“Tell me this,” Eileen hissed.  “How did my boy know where to look?”

“I believe…”  Dumbledore took a deep breath.  “I believe the boy confided in one of his housemates.  The folly of youth.  And I believe one of the other housemates led your son into danger.”

“Sirius Black.”  Her accusation was swift.

Dumbledore twitched.  “And tell me, Madam Snape, what makes you suggest Master Black?”

“I know you think that we’re…”  She halted, gripping Tobias’ arm more tightly.  “Because we live amongst the Muggles, because Tobias here is a Mugg-”

“I do not hold such prejudices.”

“Our lad talks,” Tobias said, softly.  “Not often. Not much.  But he mentions ‘em.  And that’s enough for us to know, yer see.  Coz if yer dunner mention much, an’ when yer do, all yer say is Sirius Black this an’ James Potter that, then yer know.”  His voice grew in volume.  “So if his mam knows, an’ I know, then you lot ‘ere must know an’ all.”

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anonymous asked:

Robert and Aaron have become one of those couples now tho that as long as they are both in the programme people will always ship it. Because the chemistry is there. New people will be shipping them all the time. Us old timers will always have them in our hearts. Emmerdale will never be able to forget Robron. They made it into the history books.

And a big part of why people will always love them is because of who they are, two iconic characters who are both complex and interesting. Both been through hell, individually and together and they have such a fucked up and messed up relationship that in reality they really shouldn’t be together. But they’ve both got this huge amount of love and admiration for each other. And they know even though they are messed up they are also pretty amazing together too. And I think that is what people like to see, I don’t want boring. I want this.

in another universe im the most popular cheerleader in high school and theres a goth girl crushing on me but idc because im too focused on my cheerleading skills, taking care of my titties ass n waist & my ugly boyfriend whom im using only for money

softrobertsugden  asked:

“You can’t just keep pretending things are fine!” (do you worst lorna i'm excited)

wrap me up, unfold me.

robert and aaron (finally) talk about robert’s bisexuality and aaron’s insecurities. post ons reveal.

2,674 words

Robert watched as Aaron shuffled around the kitchen, his focus on making himself something for tea. The silence between them wasn’t exactly comfortable, there was an underlying tension there that Robert couldn’t stand.

They’d been having a lot of days like this, lately. The first few months, things had been okay - they’re really done their best to work through their problems, for Robert to earn back Aaron’s trust, for Aaron to deal with his insecurities, but five months down the line from the day he told Aaron he’d slept with her, and well, it felt like there was more cracks in their relationship than ever.

It was because of that new girl, working in the cafe part time. He’d smiled at her, maybe, when they’d gotten coffee one morning, and he’d felt Aaron stiffen instantly beside him.

They’d mostly been siting around in silence since, Aaron sleeping with his back to Robert and his body stiff, even going as far as skulking off to the Woolpack for his dinner twice that week alone.

Robert hated it. Robert hated that their marriage was like this, hated that it was his fault, hated the way Aaron barely even acknowledged him as he made a sandwich, Robert sitting at the kitchen table, watching him to and fro between the cupboards and the fridge.

“Aaron, are you okay?” he asked, hugging his half cold mug of tea to his chest as he spoke, waiting for Aaron to reply.

“Fine,” Aaron grunted in response, his focus still on his sandwich, the kettle boiling in the background, breaking the silence of the flat. Liv was in Ireland with her mum, spending the last of the summer holidays with her mum.

“Are we okay?” Robert asked quietly, sounding unsure of himself as he spoke. He hated how he suddenly needed to hear Aaron say those words aloud now, that he didn’t just know.

“We’re fine, Robert.” Aaron said, the plate clattering against the wood of the table as he set it down, sliding into the further chair from Robert. He didn’t add to his sentence, taking a generous bite of his overflowing sandwich.

“You can’t keep pretending things are fine,” Robert blurted, his heart pounding as he waited for Aaron to respond.

Aaron raised an eyebrow. “You what?”

“You can’t keep pretending things are fine.” Robert repeated, more firm in his words now. “We can’t keep pretending things are fine, Aaron. We’re falling apart, and I know - I know it’s my fault, I know it’s because of what I did, but we can’t live the rest of our lives like this.”

Aaron set his sandwich down, sitting back in his chair. “It’s not your fault, Robert,” he began, trailing off mid-sentence.

“It is. I know it is,” Robert said, feeling sick to the stomach as he spoke. He knew it’d been his fault that they were like this - if he hadn’t gone and slept with Rebecca, of all people, maybe they’d have had less to get through.

Maybe they could have been happier.

“Robert -“

“If you can’t forgive me for what I did, I get it. I just, I need you to tell me now, so I can just go, and let you move on.”

“That easy, eh?”

Robert shook his head. “You know it wouldn’t be, but I just want you to be happy, Aaron, and - we’re not very happy right now, are we? I’ve barely seen you this week, and when I have, you’ve ignored me. Even Jimmy’s noticed we’re barely speaking, what does that say about us?”

“Did he say something to ya?” Aaron was imeadiately on the defensive, Robert knowing he hated the idea anyone else was butting into their relationship. He’d been like that a lot, since they’d decided to make their marriage work - Chas hadn’t been impressed, and neither had Paddy, and Aaron was more than frustrated at his parents interference.

Jimmy would just be another person on a long list of nosey neighbours waiting to see when Aaron and Robert would finally crash and burn, and prove everyone who’d ever told Aaron he was wrong to give Robert chance after chance right.

“No.” Robert shook his head, remembering the face Jimmy had pulled at him, trying to make a joke out of the tense silence in the portacabin that day. “But would he be wrong if he had, Aaron?”

Aaron sighed, quiet for a few minutes before he spoke. “I have forgiven you for what happened with her.”

Robert looked at Aaron, looked at his husband’s earnest face, and his heart ached. Aaron had always worn his heart on his sleeve, for better or for worse, the love, or hurt always clear on his face.

The honesty clear on his face.

Robert didn’t know what he’d done to deserve Aaron’s forgiveness, he really didn’t. It hadn’t be instantaneous, it had been bloody hard work, Aaron bringing Robert to counselling more than a few times so he could try and explain how hurt he was, both of them working through it with Aaron’s counsellor.

But Aaron had forgiven him, somehow.

“Then what’s wrong? What have I done?” Robert asked, leaning forward slightly. He just wanted to know, so he could fix it. “Was it what happened in the cafe? Because I swear to you, Aaron, I was just being polite, I don’t fancy her or owt.”

Aaron looked uncomfortable, twisting his ring around his finger as he spoke. “What’s to stop you cheating on me with a woman again? Clearly - clearly a woman can give you something I can’t, or you wouldn’t have slept with Rebecca.”

“I told you why I slept with her.” Robert shook his head. “She was easy to manipulate, Aaron. Her - her being a woman, that had nothing to do with it.”

“But it does.” Aaron sighed. “It always does, with you. Being with a woman’s more normal for you, and I don’t know how to deal with that.”

Robert’s stomach clenched. “It’s not more normal for me,” he said firmly, shaking his head. He hated that Aaron thought like that, hated that all he’d done to persuade him otherwise had been undone with one drunken, anger fueled mistake.

Aaron stayed silent.

“You have a problem with me being bisexual, don’t you?” Robert said bluntly, asking the one question he’d wanted to ask for months now, since that day in the car, before the crash, and a thousand times over ever since.

His husband had a problem with his sexuality.

“I guess I don’t understand it,” Aaron shrugged. “It’d be easier if you could decide one way or another, I guess.”

It’d be easier if you could decide one way or another, I guess.

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