be my god damn motherfucking friend

nualie  asked:

Can I have dialogue prompts between an eldritch abomination who looks like a teenager, and the sad boy he more or less kidnapped, but was adopted by the family with much enthusiasm?

uhhhh okay let me get this straight-

the eldritch abominations family all look more or less human, and the sad boy was forcefully adopted by them? Can do!

-”Maybe we could get a sitcom- you look more or less human most of the time, so it’s possible- not too much cgi.”

“Why would we want a sitcom? We’re not even funny.”

“C’mon, it’s a classic ‘aliens and humans culture gap’ humour trope. This morning you tried to eat bricks for breakfast- comedy gold!”

-”I can’t believe cthulhu is trying to cure my depression with pizza pockets.”

-”Oh c’mon! It’s not like we’re forcing you to come with us-”

“Well, I mean, you kind of are.”

“-and anyway, don’t you want to go for a picnic with us?”

“You eat people.”

-”You are absolutely forbidden from tickling me until you put back on your human face.”

“But I have more hands like this.”

-”You’re so soft”

“Stop feeling me up dude, holy shit. Humans need space”

“But you’re so soft!! Let me pat!”

-”Oh god it’s so hot I’m gonna die.”

WHAT! Oh god-”

“It’s a figure of speech.”

-”My guy, I have to admit. Seeing skinny ass you throwing the 18 wheeler was pretty damn cool.”

-”Oh my god, you’ve been kidnapped by cthulu???”

“Shh [best friend/sibling character] they’ll hear!! And yes. He wears converse.”

-”Motherfucker, you may be an eldritch abomination but regardless. I will fight you for that pizza.”

anonymous asked:

Who are your favorite and least favorite characters?

This is a hard question!! Like, which ones do admire the most? Or which ones do I think would be my best friends if I knew them in real life and was also one of the X-Men and I had my own mutant powers and was an important member of the team. Because obviously the answer is different.

Favorites: Storm, Magik, Kurt, Rogue, Phoenix, Emma, Shaw, Leech, Katie Power, Magneto, and yes, even though he is, at times, a douche-bag supreme, Professor X, because when he’s not being a douche-bag supreme, he is one of the god damn zaniest, eye-brow raising-est, bubble bath taking, jump shot making, bondage-ass wearing, mac-daddiest motherfuckers I’ve ever seen.

Least favorites: This one is harder because I pretty much like every character that’s ever been in an X-Men comic, but here’s some that have rubbed me the wrong way. The Mimic, Cyclops, Empath, Ted Roberts, most of the X-Factor kids, and honestly, because she is so god damn smug in her first several appearances, Mystique, although in the most recent issues I’ve been reading where she’s reaching out to check on Rogue to be sure she’s ok, she’s a lot more tolerable.

anonymous asked:

favorite poke blogs in your opinion?

@daily-pokemon-family

ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS IN THE COMMUNITY AND THEIR CHARACTERS ARE LOVEABLE AND AMAZING 

@gregnas-the-grouch

This boi. This boi. An inspiring motherfucker and AWESOME FRIENDO. GOD DAMN STORY IS FUCKING BRILLIANT 

@askteamorcd

This boi is a treasure, god damn amazing ass friend and artist, TEACH ME SENPAI

@ask-the-forestguardian

Love their works and story, love dis boi all together he is pure child.

@banishedblossomdancer

Their art is absolutely stunning, and they are really cool!

@just-ask-autumn

A great friend and adorable pumpkin uwu

@barely-functioning-smol

I L Y MA DOOD, FOREVER WILL THE DRAGON REIGN



THERE ARE MORE I LOVE TO THE GODS BUT THERES SOME 

F#*king marry me already

TITLE: F#*king marry me already

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 1

AUTHOR: Valarie Ravenhearst2

ORIGINAL IMAGINE:

Imagine Loki trying to propose to you, trying to make it the most perfect occasion. But every time that it comes to the big night, something happens, like you getting sick or have to work, so it keeps getting put off because he wants it to be perfect

RATING: M

NOTES/WARNINGS: the usual stuff ;)

I don’t know why I bother running when I’m stressed; all it does is get me more pumped up. As I continue jogging down the footpath I can see a group of older teens, further along, messing around with skateboards. As I get closer one of them tries to do some trick but stacks it and falls to the ground just in time for me to run into him – sending me flying over him and tumbling along the pavement. 


I’m fine. 

Keep reading

Random Movie Quotes Sentence Starters

PART 1

  • “All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.”
  • “Bond. James Bond." 
  • "A boy’s best friend is his mother." 
  • "But then I realised maybe that’s what hell is: the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges. And I really really hoped I wouldn’t die." 
  • “Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” 
  • "Daddy! My Daddy!" 
  • "Did you think I’d be too stupid to know what a eugoogly is?" 
  • "Do I look like I give a damn?”  
  • “Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?" 
  • "ET phone home.”  
  • “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”
  • “Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster. To me that was better than being president of the United States. To be a gangster was to own the world." 
  • "Everybody runs, Fletch." 
  • "Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!" 
  • "Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!" 
  • “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!” 
  • "Get busy living, or get busy dying." 
The SMH as (out-of-context) Game Grumps Quotes

Jack: come at me scrublord I’m ripped

Bitty: I would absolutely, without question let him put his penis inside me.

Shitty: WAKE UP FATHER, I AM FULLY ERECT

Lardo: What? You think I came straight out the pussy drawin’ fucking Mozart? 

Ransom: Hey…. hey Dan Holster…. I know you’re really busy, but I need you inside my asshole right now

Holster: Oh Jewish God, please…. What did I bar mitzvah for, if not for this exact moment? 

Dex: YOU ARE A ASSHOLE

Nursey: [then Ross Nursey kicked the computer, destroying everything. we had been playing for four hours.] 

Chowder: I’m gonna start us off with a haiku… Cait-lin Far-mer / You are my best friend, hoo-ray!/ It’s… snow-ing… on Mount Fuji. …..I know that’s not five-seven-five. 

Tango: Does Bruno Mars is gay?

Whiskey: Well, does he? I does is have to know.

Johnson: Motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfuckin Facebook movie bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit God damn created Facebook then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss twins god damn rowing the boat fuck yo shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man Motherfucking Spider-man Spider-man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with this bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg I’m very tired No man I’ll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin Or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook? MARK ZUCKERBERG.

Parse: Who among us hasn’t got a good cry-boner? 

imhereformysciencefriends  asked:

"Don't get me started" on Iida Tenya

(… i said i could rant about anything but dont make me do this to my boy… iida… sweet child lol so im gonna do like a half roast and half rave)

man what’s up with this kid, little punk ass “you forgot to assign the homework” teacher’s pet motherfucker. Entire wall of glasses like what are you looking for boy, more money? more asses to kiss? all those god damn hand movements too and like… ya head is as square as your personality.

and DONT GET ME STARTED on what a supportive friend he is like honestly… tbh to be honest? he’s already been through so much and he’s still just trying to be the best hero he can omg i love him,,,

Today’s Rick and Morty episode

My reaction: Motherfucking Dan Harmon Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfuckin Rick and Morty bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit 

God damn created Rick and Morty then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss twins god damn rowing the boat fuck yo shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Dan Harmon man

Motherfucking Spider-man Spider-man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with this bare hands fucking best friend shit Dan Harmon I’m very tired

No man I’ll just talk about Rick and Morty all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about Rick and Morty fuck dude I just watched it a minute and a half ago fuck Dan Harmon man he fucked over Rick Sanchez crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Chaos Chaos did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Rick and Morty I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Rick and Morty All I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Rick and Morty who the fuck invented Rick and Morty

JUSTIN ROILAND

rare cats MY ASS that motherfucker tubbs isn’t rare he comes to my yard every time i put out food i paid for hes here every damn day and like man i don’t even care if he wants to eat lots be my guest but you’re not the only fucking cat in this yard you gotta learn to leave some for the rest son this is not how you make friends i refill those bowls regularly so you can calm the fuck down you selfish ass bastard i am trying to create a friendly environment here

8

once again, @texasisfrigginhot and i went out and came back with a little more than we expected.

PLEASE GIVE HER HAUL SOME LOVE BC SHE SLAYED TODAY AND I WANNA SEE HER GET SOME GOOD VIBES SHE DESERVES IT

STORES WE DESTROYED:
Bath and Body Works (i mean holy fuck)
Office Depot (sooo many phone cases lol)
LOFT (SO FUCKING EASY got lots of shirts for my friends, i didnt show pictures of like 3 other ones that i got)
Urban Outfitters (i got a motherfucking wall tapestry????)
Sephora (i feel like i could have done so much better, but i like ulta more so ill just go in again another time lol)
Kendra Scott (hehehee)
and our university bookstore bc no one has time or money to pay $200 for a textbook you will open once.

my kitty decided to make an appearance again because she’s cute and she knows it 😍❤️

today was a relatively good day.

Background: im watching my little brothers today and they invited their little friends (who happen to be white) over to our house. Like idgaf I dont have any problems with white children. They ask to go for a bike ride and I say “sure”

The now: I WALK INTO MY GHATDAMN KITCHEN AND SEE THIS FUCKERY ON OUR KITCHEN COUNTER.

WHAT IN GODS NAME. These little niggas was playing “Charlie Charlie” while I took my shower.

I’ll be damned if i let 2 eight year olds and 2 six year olds summon a motherfucking demon into my damn house. Like WTF were they thinking?

I blame their white half because ain’t no Zambian tryna make friends with the devil. I also blame they little white friends. Idk why but I feel they had a big part in this.

Anyway I prayed over these things than broke them in half, ripped the paper, and threw it away. THE DEVIL IS A LIE Y'ALL.

- Susie

psychic: *reads my mind*        

me: motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg JESUS Christ fuck dude mother fucking Facebook movie bullshit JESUS can you fucking believe this shit God damn created Facebook then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winkle boss twins God damn rowing the boat God damn this shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man motherfucking Spider-Man Spider-Man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg I’m very tired no man I’ll just talk about the facebook movie all day shit man you must be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched the year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man man he fucked over Spider-Man and crazy winkleboss twins rowing Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented facebook I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook MARK ZUCKERBERG

psychic: what the fuck      

a5sosurl-deactivated20140810  asked:

Your eyebrows don't look cute and your stomach is fat/poking out ew

listen here you little fuck,

i am god damn proud of my bushy eyebrows and i will fucking embrace what i was born with. i will fucking love my eyebrows because they are mine and they are me and i fucking love me okay. i fucking love myself

my stomach is fat and my stomach is wobbly and i am motherfucking proud of it. i’m not ashamed that i can eat as many doughnuts as i want and not give a damn. i’m happy with my body and i’ll wear whatever the fuck i want if it makes me comfortable.

no rude ass off the internet is going to stop me living my god damn life just the way i like it, i’m happy with bushy eyebrows and a fat stomach, i’d probably be happy without.

i’d rather be what i am than be cold-hearted and send hate like you.

anonymous asked:

omg can you please tell me more about the rookies please!!

AH YES I AM GLAD YOU ASKED

  • Hansol
    used to be blonde


    but i am really glad that this is over because damn son black hair suits you so well.


    he is also the oldest (94 liner) and his dancing skills are WOW! he was also in j-min’s MV



  • Taeyong
    OH MY GOD HE LOOKS LIKE THE MINI-ME OF CHEN

    and he is SUPER talented! he can rap like DAMN SON


    and he dances like a motherfucking GOD


    he is literally a jackpot and I am afraid that he might steal everyone elses spotlight. 95 liner~
    he is also friends with exo’s sehun (red jacket is taeyong)





  • Johnny
    is from the US and 95 liner. He is really close with exo, ever since their pre-debut days so yeah he has been a trainee for a very long time.
    External image
    External image
    His dancing is mad shit and I really hope that he will be the leader because I think he trained as long as Suho.. maybe even longer ?
  • Ten
    is Thai and I shit you not he is so fucking cute it is not healthy. His dancing (like everyone else) is mad shit and omg HE IS 96 LINER



  • Yuta
    is japanese and reminds me of luhan so much. he is so pretty, it is so unfair AND HE IS JAPANESE SO HE IS LEGIT KAWAII and dance and 95 liner and luhan idk what does one want more?




  • unfortunetly i do not know that much about jaehyun, taeil and yongju but their visuals and dance skills are a+


    and jaehyun

  • <p> <b>Psychic:</b> *reads my mind*<p/><b>My Mind:</b> motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg JESUS Christ fuck dude mother fucking Facebook movie bullshit JESUS can you fucking believe this shit God damn created Facebook then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winkle boss twins God damn rowing the boat God damn this shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man motherfucking Spider-Man Spider-Man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg I’m very tired no man I’ll just talk about the facebook movie all day shit man you must be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched the year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man man he fucked over Spider-Man and crazy winkleboss twins rowing Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented facebook I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook<p/><b>Psychic:</b> MARK ZUCKERBERG<p/></p>
  • my response to someone talking shit about me: lmao ok [turns up music, sings along, dances]
  • my response to someone talking shit about my friends: FIGHT ME IN THE STREET MOTHERFUCKER YOU WANNA GO SON I'LL FUCKIN DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE I'LL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN DON'T TEST ME GET THEY NAME OUT YA GOD DAMN MOUTH
  • Psychic: *Reads my mind*
  • Me: Motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfuckin Facebook movie bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit. God damn created Facebook then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss twins god damn rowing the boat fuck yo shit I can't even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man. Motherfucking Spider-man Spider-man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with this bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg I'm very tired. No man I'll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin Or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook. MARK ZUCKERBERG.
  • Psychic: What the fuck

Let me tell you a story about this fucking gem.
You see this? This rusty ass dinosaur brick? It was a Father’s Day present from my hot piece of ass brother Kevin to my beautiful father.
Now, you might have noticed a word that’s not in your little bitch ass pixie-fucker vocabulary.
That’s right ass holes: Przyballa.
By now you’re wondering what the ever loving fuck is a “Przyballa”
Maybe your beautiful bitch of a brain decided it’s my families last name.
Think again, mother fucker.
Our last name is Przybyla. Priz-BEE-la.
Is it a typo? Did the engraver on this piece of rock play some kind of immature grade-A prank on my gorgeous father?
No, this wording was as intentional as pushing a small child the fuck away from you.
You see, my brothers don’t like the last name Przybyla. It’s not swaggy enough for them, so these assholes form a plan.
As soon as Kevin hits the puberty filled sex pit that we call middle school, all of his bitch ass teachers ask him how to pronounce our fucking train wreck of a last name.
And what does this beautiful stubbly goddess of the fucking United States of the fucking A tell them?
“Przyballa.” Priz-BALL-uh
Why?
Cause he’s a fucking baller.
Ball is life, motherfucker.
So for the rest of my natural born life I’ve got teachers and parents and even my friends calling me fucking Przyballa and ALL these bitches bow down before me.
Now back to the fucking brick.
Years pass, and our legend lives on. My father proudly wears the name his fucking national treasure children bestowed upon him.
Eventually, we find out about Levi Stadium.
If you don’t know what kind of horse shit nonsense this is, it’s the 49ers new stadium in Santa Clara.
You know what else is in Santa Clara?
You’re god damn right, you suburban mom: my father, who happens to be a fucking baller AND a huge 49ers fan.
And guess what the fuck the 49ers decide to do to drain every last cent they can out of their fucking fans?
That’s right, you fucking genius: sell bricks that’ll go in the ground in front of the Stadium.
And while this shit is going on, guess what holiday is coming up? Father’s Day.
The idea lands in Kevin’s head like that child you pushed over slamming it’s face into the fucking pavement.
He buys a brick, and even pays extra to get a replica of it for my dad to show bravely in his home, like a fucking family crest.
And what’s even better?
This same brick lives on in the fucking ground in front of Levi fucking Stadium.