be crunk

me: yeah i quite like yuri on ice i’m not like obsessed with it tho

me lowkey: *stands up* don’t stop us now *screaming* the moment of truth *punches a hole in the wall* wE WERE BORN TO MAKE HISTORY *kicks down a door* WE’LL MAKE IT HAPPEN *headbutts the person next to me* WE’LL TURN IT AROUND *sets fire to my house* YES WE WERE BORN TO MAKE HISTORY

The signs as things I've heard people say
  • Aries: "I'm just a poor soul looking for some flavour."
  • Taurus: "I'm such a slut for tomatoes."
  • Gemini: "The sharpest tools in the shed aren't always the best. Look at hammers. You could die."
  • Cancer: "Oh my god, I'm a crypto-fascist."
  • Leo: "She dabs so hard the lights turn off."
  • Virgo: "When you're drunk and you go to the toilet, do you just not know your own strength?"
  • Libra: "I think the pub lost its license - it might've had something to do with the stabbings."
  • Scorpio: "Oh my god shut up. I'll punch you in your fucking tongue."
  • Sagittarius: "He gets very crunk, very fast."
  • Capricorn: "Herby golden crumb. That sounds like some affluent drug dealer trying to sell you something."
  • Aquarius: "24 hour funeral parlour." "Well you can't choose what time you die, can you?"
  • Pisces: "I don't like handling sewage but I appreciate having a toilet."
Avengers Preference- When you (their child) gets caught sneaking out

Bruce would stop you from leaving before you could even get to the door; he’s a genius and he knows what’s going on.
“Hey, you going somewhere?” Your dad asks as you’re walking down the stairs.
“Oh come on!” He say angrily to him.
“Nope, back up the stairs, now.” He tells you sweetly but sternly. 

Peter would just sass you as you were about to hop in your friends car and be really embarrassing.
“So Y/N you gonna introduce your friends to me?” You hear your dad say as you’re about to get in the car.
As soon as you spot him he begins to jog over to you and your friends with a dumb grin on his face.
“So where are we going kids, huh? Gonna get crunk and twerk with our thot’s?” He says to you and your friends knowing he was being stupid.
“Dad, go away.” You say to him embarrassed out of your mind; but of course he didn’t, he just stood their staring at you with that stupid grin. The staring went on for almost a minute and you cave in and end up walking back inside. 

Pietro having super speed took his time before telling you off. He was sleeping so there was no way you were getting away with this.
Pietro wakes up with a start as he hears the bins crash and the neighbours dog barking.
“What the hell?” He says to himself as he gets up looking out the window.
“Damn it!” He exclaims as he sees you jumping the fence.
Quickly he puts on his shirt and speeds out the door.
“You’re not going anywhere.” He says to you as he grabs your arm pulling you back inside. 

Steve would catch you and get really annoyed with you; he’d pull you back inside and lecture you about the time of night and your friends.
You were sure you were in the clear as you made it to his car. 
“Are you nuts?!” You hear a loud exclamation.
“Oh shit.” You say to yourself as you see your dad walking out of the house.
“Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/F/N, you get back in the house right now!” His booming voice terrified your ‘friend’ and he zoomed off in his car.
Steve was pissed and you knew this was going to mean a big lecture. 

merry christmas, happy holidays

Title: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
Pairing: Tyler Joseph/Reader
Rating: Mature
Warnings: daddy kink, public shenanigans, dirty talk, unprotected sex, and once again, there may be a camera involved.
A/N: Here it is, plz stop asking about it, lmfao. I promise, I’m almost done with that Josh fic, and it will be posted next. I’m so sorry. Have a Merry Christmas and a Crunk New Year.

Originally posted by wentzacion

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@Regrann from @mossberg_850 - The evolution of hip hop….glad I’m from the 80’s & 90’s. U new niggas are trash af. 😂😂😂😂 Big KRIT, K Dot, J-Cole & Curren$y is good tho.
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