be cordial

anonymous asked:

what is your opinion on the girl phil collabed with's stance on gay marriage. and the way the phandom reacted to her? do you think people are overreacting?

ahhhh i haven’t had much wifi in the last 24 hours so i don’t think i saw much of the reaction to it. but as for my personal stance on the whole thing .. it’s tough for me to answer. obvi i believe her opinion is shitty and i absolutely disagree with her viewpoint. for those who don’t know or haven’t done the research she claims that marriage is only valid, presumably in the eyes of god, if it’s between a man and a woman, but that that shouldn’t prevent same sex couples from having the legal right to marry. my genuine reaction to hearing this was disappointment, but also a sort of deeper resignation and lack of surprise because there are so many people i know in my life who share these views. there are plenty of even nominally progressive people who conduct themselves completely cordially and respectfully, but whose religious beliefs constrain their ability to see queerness as valid, as anything but a “sin.” they ostensibly don’t let that belief affect their outward behavior because they also feel that their religion teaches them to be kind and loving but internally they believe something totally different. that sort of judgment and prejudice layered under such a saccharine veneer of faux altruistic concern is something i’ve literally grown up encountering nearly every single day, not just because of my sexuality, but by baseline being a non-christian in a very christian dominated community, and being constantly told by loving and well-intentioned and very concerned friends that not believing in christ would lead to my going to hell despite how lovely and good i was. idk man. it’s sooooo normal to me to hear that views like this exist that i did not have the energy to react with shock and outrage bc the formative years of my life were spent navigating viewpoints exactly like this and learning how not to care. these people are just ignorant, i think. they mean well and they genuinely feel they are acting out of concern for people they love, out of a desire to not see them suffer (for all of eternity, no less). so i tend to focus on that when encountering this sort of ideology–that they are kind people who want to act with compassion but who fail to see the way that their ideology creates and contributes to divisive and prejudiced outlooks. 

that’s my view, i want to make very clear. after soooo many years dealing w people w way worse things to say than this i don’t have the energy to be very surprised or upset and i’m mostly just happy that she seems to value conducting herself in a respectful and (superficially) compassionate way. but i wouldn’t fault a single person for being much more upset and hurt by her views. it can be such a jarring thing to hear that there are people who think your very existence is wrong in the eyes of some more powerful being and obvi the implication is that deep down she too believes that homosexuality is wrong on some level. being upset is completely reasonable and i also totally understand why people might want to post about that or tweet her and let her know that their views have upset her. but i wouldn’t condone abusing or harassing her for this. she’s just a human being (albeit one with such a fucked up outlook) and sending her threatening or degrading messages won’t do a single thing to change her mind or to make this sort of ideology disappear and will embolden her in her beliefs that liberals who preach tolerance are actually fundamentally hateful and intolerant (which like, fuck, makes me want to literally yell into the abyss for ten years aiwejroaiwejrar) <– my point is, do that, keysmash all you want on your blogs, but don’t sink to the level of sending her hate or threats or aggression in any form because it just is not worth it 

i hope all of you are taking care of yourselves and i think it goes without saying that you are beautiful and valid no matter who you love and marriage is a dumb fucking construct that can be very special and lovely and important if you want it to be but believing that it’s only an option for some people and not all people who experience love is the highest form of bulllshit. i adore yall so so much <3333 

A LIST OF SWAN QUEEN FAN FICTION

B/C I KNOW Y’ALL ARE TIRED OF LOOKING FOR SWANQUEEN FANFIC RECS ON TUMBLR SO HERES THE GOOD SHIT.

  • all of these are in english
  • if you have any recommendations or additions, please let me know!
  • some fanfictions that i originally planned to include on this list were deleted by their authors :( 


CLASSICS (favorites)

The Art Of Being Extraordinary - if you haven’t read this already, wyd? The ending will destroy you - be prepared to cry. 

Letters From War - another extremely well known fic among swen. a heart-wrenching and beautifully written AU fic. even if AUs aren’t your thing, seriously, give this one a try.

Emma is a soldier on reserve in Fort Benning. Regina is the Mayor of Storybrooke. Through a pen pal program designed to ease the ache of homesick soldiers, Emma and Regina begin sending letters to one another as their relationship grows from cordial acquaintance to something neither woman would have expected - until the letters stop coming.

A Trail Of Destruction - DEFINITELY a classic imo. this is one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

A hostage situation in City Hall leaves behind a battered, broken sheriff, and a mayor wracked with guilt. Trigger warnings for violence and gun threats and general angst. Slow-burn swan queen.

Miles To Go - AU; emma and regina meet at a party and the rest is history. this ones pretty long (80 chapters), but so worth the read! angsty & lots of ‘sexy times’ 

Everyone has their own story, this one is theirs and it paints the picture of a love story that spans over two decades, with all the ups and downs and everything else in between. SwanQueen AU
 

Of Love and Loathing - a lot of angry sex in the beginning, which eventually turns into lovey sex. another well known and well written fic - this author is one of my favorites. *reaaallyyy hot smut 

“I have been sleeping with someone,” Regina began tentatively, an acute awareness that once she said the words out loud that the madness behind her highly unorthodox situation became all the more real, “whom I absolutely loathe.” •Emma/Regina•

Meet me Halfway - one of the first swan queen fan fictions i ever read! still a classic to this day. AU

Emma Swan works hard every night as a bartender, struggling to raise her son and save up enough to own her own bar. Regina Mills is an upper class New York photographer who wouldn’t normally spare a second glance at people below her. When their paths cross, their lives adapt to each other, but how much are they willing to change?

Love Undefined - in the process of re-reading this one because of how much i love it. angsty as hell but such a beautiful story.

It’s been eight years since the last time Regina and Emma saw each other, eight years since Emma lost part of her happiness, her family, and everything fell apart. But she hasn’t forgotten those three years in New York, or any of what Regina had brought into her life. A late night phone call to Regina takes Emma back eleven years to when they met, saved each other from loneliness, and Emma started learning what it meant to live. She relives the moments that had changed her life for the better, and even the ones that had hurt.

Teacher’s Pet - KNOWN AS THE ONE TEACHER/STUDENT FANFIC THAT EVERYONE HAS READ. 

Emma Swan is starting her senior year. Her friends tell her about the Creative Writing teacher that she has on her schedule and how no one had passed her class with an A, not even her bookworm friend, Belle. What will she do? And who exactly is this ‘bitchy Evil Queen’ as they claim her to be? SwanQueen. Student/Teacher. M for language and future chapters.

Lost in Translation - i wasn’t sure about this before reading it but i LOVED it. the description pretty much sums it up.

AU. Regina is deaf. Emma is the only one who refuses to give her pity. In response, Regina is thrilled by this new challenge and the stand-offs commence, but over time she finds out there is more to the blonde woman than just a target to throw a stinging quip and pointed glare at.

Send Up a Signal - emma and regina are actresses and their fans ship them with each other. ;)

Emma Swan is catapulted into stardom, the newest lead actress on a sanitized show featuring modern fairytales. Regina Mills is a long-undermined star with a chip on her shoulder and a thousand reasons why she’s invested. Naturally, they loathe each other on sight.Their characters’ fanbases, however, have other ideas.

Reset - SO. GOOD. 95 chapters. if you’re looking for long fanfics, this is for you. 

Following the breaking of the curse everyone in Storybrooke is finding their happy ending, with one exception. Resigning herself to having lost Henry’s love and respect forever, Regina decides there is only one path available to her.

Take Me Home Tonight - AU!! lots of smut :) this is a newer one that i’ve seen around twitter and tumblr and i really enjoyed it! this one’s pretty short (14 chapters)

AU: Nineteen year old Emma Swan is a senior at the exclusive all girls boarding school, Foxhaven Academy. When her friends find out she’s a virgin they send her to the city to find a guy to take her v-card. But Emma is more interested in a sexy older woman she meets in a bar. A SwanQueen story.

The Staircase - non-consensual sex in the first chapter, so please be aware of that; its not for eveyone. this story is very dark but has a happy ending i promise!

Regina could still smell her cologne and feel the cheap pleather pressing into her back. The brunette sucked in a breath. She was still lying on the floor at the staircase’s base and she stared back up at it. Everything was different now. Changed. She felt broken by what had just happened, appalled and enraged, dirty. WARNING: NC17 for non-consensual sex. Dark. (But gets lighter.)

the trouble with emma - very very well known within the swan queen community. i’ll be honest, i never really got into the story but i can acknowledge that it is the most well-written fanfiction i have read to date. the author is truly talented. (the first in a series of fanfics)

Post ep 4x23, Emma becomes the Dark One and learns nothing is quite as it seems or as simple as black versus white. When Regina removes the curse no one in Storybrooke is prepared for the far reaching fallout which leaves none of their lives unaltered or untouched, least of all Regina’s.

SMUT 

shadow haven  - the one smut fic everyone has read.

Emma Swan is a PR agent who is sent on a holiday by her boss. Regina Mills is the owner of a private island named Shadow Haven. There is more to Regina than initially meets the eye. This story dips heavily into the BDSM subculture. Swan Queen romance / BDSM story.

the wicked stepmother - the one kinky fic everyone has read- or attempted to. i couldn’t get through the whole thing but the first few chapters,,, holy hell.

When the Evil Queen catches baby Emma along with Snow White, she decides on a new revenge. In Storybrooke, Snow White will be allowed to raise her daughter… but on her eighteenth birthday, Regina will come for her. Emma might just enjoy that.

in control  - Regina had never been in the habit of relinquishing control, but when it came to Emma Swan, she was starting to find out that giving in had its benefits. - Established Swan Queen - One Shot. Rated M for language and content.

the collar - It will carry strong mature themes as well as a Mistress/Slave relationship but it is also a lot more than that. However, as a warning this story will celebrate the shades of grey of our favourite couple as they find their way to each other and will deal with darker elements of their characters. Emma’s history differs a little from canon but will be covered by the story but there is no Henry and she is an adult in this fiction.

a little taste  - author of A Fine Line and Letters from War. 

Emma has been desperate to know what it’s like to kiss the smirk off of Regina Mills, but when she finally gets the chance, it doesn’t seem to be enough.

tempest - A storm ushers in an expected opportunity for Regina to finally rid herself of Emma Swan. She will posses the sheriff’s heart and then crush it. But what happens when nothing goes as planned? Rated M for language and Swan Queen sexytimes.

come on be nice - Regina has decided that the quickest way to get rid of Emma Swan is to scare off the commitment phobic woman with a come-on. This, as with many of Regina’s plans, does not go as, well, planned. Rated M for Swan Queen sex.

black lace - Emma and Henry find a way around the 'no visiting’ rule involving binoculars and the walkie talkie. Emma’s attention is fully on her son, she truly doesn’t intend to watch Regina at all. At least until the mayor begins undressing in front of her window..

dirty words - Regina is plagued by thoughts of a certain blonde. Deciding she is in need of cathartic release, she writes a quick narrative in hopes of cleansing her system. However, by a happy accident, the story falls into the wrong hands. What will Emma do with this new and intriguing insight into the mayor’s mind?

damn you, miss swan  Emma visits the mayor one night with a bottle of wine to cheer her up. Anger issues and smeared lippy ensues. WARNING: Includes a non-explicit passing reference to rape. This is my first story. A/N Jan 2015: Way back when I wrote this, no one knew anyone’s back stories, so I just made up stuff. Don’t be upset for canon divergence if you read it now. It wasn’t canon then.

mirror tricks The Evil Queen has made her way to Storybrooke, but she only seems to be interested in one thing: Emma. When Regina realises this, her jealousy starts to get the better of her.

my enemy’s enemy After her mother’s death, Regina finds a terrible surprise hidden among the witch’s belongings. Unfortunately, the only one able to cure her from the ailment is Emma…if she agrees. Strong language and mature themes. First stab at SwanQueen :)

ANGST

to remember her happy ending - “She doesn’t even remember her family! How am I going to explain this to her when she hates me!” She was falling apart now. The way the women in the other room had just looked at her, with such disdain. That wasn’t her wife. That was the Mayor, the Evil Queen maybe…but not her wife.

for endings are where we begin Regina Mills is your average working mom - she spends long hours at her bakery, loves her son Henry with all that she is, and can touch dead things and bring them back to life.Emma Swan is an orphan, an ex-convict, and a bail bondsperson residing in Massachusetts. She is also currently dead.This is the story of how they meet.

the loudest silence - New to Chicago Emma, a professional cellist, is shocked to find that a beautiful deaf woman is her new president of the board. As their friendship grows Emma begins to wonder, what does it look like when a world of sound and a world of silence meet somewhere in the middle? SwanQueen AU

broken 16 year Emma Swan is a preachers daughter on a tight leash, what happens when Regina Mills returns to town, dark, mysterious and dangerous? Will her father’s expectations take over or will Emma follow her heart? Is Regina legit or is Emma cute little pawn? Will Emma be able to love Regina for who she is or will her dark past ruin it ALL! SwanQueen G!P Some BDSM

bring her home Cora’s dead. Henry lives with the Charmings. Regina continues spiraling through grief and loss and hatred. Then Emma suddenly falls unconscious and Henry shows up at Regina’s door because he needs her help to bring Emma back. Reluctantly, Regina embarks on a wild swan chase through Emma’s mind, a whirlwind of ‘roads‐less‐traveled’ and ‘what‐ifs’ and ‘might‐have‐beens’, in order to bring her home.

if the blazer fits Emma decides to dress up like Regina for a Halloween party at The Rabbit Hole, a seemingly innocent decision that surprisingly leads to a relationship. The romance is openly feared by some and secretly despised by an unlikely source, who plots to end it.

a fine line Upon Regina’s banishment, the small town of Storybrooke becomes protected once again by an enchantment that prevents anyone from leaving or entering Storybrooke. Emma and Regina find themselves on the edge of the town, wishing for a way to the other side.

a pale imitation Regina is furious with Emma after she brings back Marian, but since she can’t take it out on her, Regina creates a mindless clone of Emma to hit instead. The clone doesn’t stay mindless for long though, developing an obsession with Regina. Written for summer 2014 Swan Queen Big Bang. (TW for sexual assault/rape and graphic depictions of violence)

FLUFF

one fine mess - Regina’s gut twisted with an agonizing pull and, for just a moment, she thought she might need to take up the same position as the woman crouched before her. “You’re pregnant?” she whispered grimly. Emma’s only response was to turn and retch into the toilet again. — Swan Queen, magic!pregnancy

coffee at midnight - (so good) Slow burn AU that starts with two women from different parts of the USA meeting on Twitter. Emma is an insomniac loner who is a Personal Trainer. Regina is a writer with a sleepless baby. Their lack of sleep and love for coffee soon brings them together and after that they find it hard to part. This is a fic where coffee is taking to mythical levels, despite it’s bad effect on people with insomnia and people with babies - showing that sometimes what you need and want isn’t always the thing that is wholesome and harmless. But also that denying yourself it will only lead to misery, something which Regina has to apply to other parts of her life.

all the single ladies With the library in desperate need of renovation, Storybrooke prepares for a fundraising dinner and bachelorette auction. What mischief and romance can be found as a result? SwanQueen with some RedBeauty Rating has been raised to M - now including adult content.


TEACHER+STUDENT / EMPLOYEE+BOSS

teacher’s pet - see above (classics)

take me home tonight - see above (classics)

step into my office, baby  - This is what you get for doing the nice thing, Emma thinks. You do that whole Pay It Forward bullshit - you buy a lady some coffee and you pretend like it isn’t totally motivated by how she looks in a pencil skirt - and she goes and insults your business card and turns out to be your company’s new Executive Director. Real fucking cute.From now on, she is drinking tea.or, the one where they’re in an office.

teaching miss mills  - Swan Queen Teacher AU: Emma is a gym teacher, who moves to Storybrooke Academy after becoming disenchanted with her job back in Boston. Regina Mills is the Head of English who Emma somehow seems to keep having run-ins with, despite the best of intentions. Along the way, Emma adjusts to small-town life, gets her teaching mojo back and grows closer to Regina. NOW COMPLETE

troubled teachers - COMPLETE! SwanQueen AU. Geography teacher Emma Swan starts a new life far from her troubled past and meets history teacher Regina Mills. But all is not as it seems when it comes to the composed, intelligent, and beautiful brunette. Family struggles and difficult relationships lead to a friendship and soon something more blossoms. Rated M for Ch 7, 18, 22, 24, 28, 29, 31, 35 and 38

not a virgin anymore When college student Emma Swan wakes up one morning with no memory of what happened the night before she’s very surprised she finds herself in professor Mills’s bed. 

is that so, miss swan? - College student, Emma Swan, is confronted by her favorite professor and secret heart-throb, Dr. Regina Mills. What happens when Emma is forced to reveal her secrets? We shall see. AU. Slightly OOC at times. No magic. SwanQueen. Rated M for serious language and eventual sexy times between our two favorite ladies.

butterfly effect - in her final year of college, Emma finds she has more to account for than the extra credits she needs in order to graduate. Only… she doesn’t expect it to come in the form of her newest instructor, Professor Regina Mills. Complete. AU Swan Queen

a sophisticated seduction Emma’s a college student, working as an intern at the Dazzle Magazine for a powerful woman she has never had the good fortune of meeting. But everything in her life is about to change when they finally meet. Especially when one falls so deeply in love with the other and the insecurities from a broken marriage comes to light. (Not Based on The Devil Wears Prada)

some other faves

down east decisions - Massachusetts State Police Capt. Emma Swan leaves her red-hot career to become the police chief of sleepy Storybrooke, Maine. She’s hoping for a less-complicated, less-dangerous life, a desire that is dashed on both counts. AU. No magic. Crime drama and romance. Swan Queen is endgame.

that drunken night - Emma’s wasted and accidentally calls Regina instead of her mom. And Regina isn’t as loathe to talk to the blonde as she usually pretends. Did things change between them so radically while they were in Neverland? (No copyright infringement intended.)

chasing henry - SQ. Tired of the tricks and lies of both of his mothers, Henry follows the dwarves, Red and Granny when they use Tiny’s magic beans to return themselves to their old land. Emma and Regina both chase after him, and they reluctantly travel together through the Enchanted Forest in order to find him and bring him back home safely.

so does this make us both the other woman? - Set after 3b in a peaceful Storybrooke where Regina is with Robin and Emma’s fallen into a relationship with Hook. Shame about all that subtext that’s rapidly threatening to become text.

2

A mother penned an important letter to her daughter’s principal after a dress code violation

One mother is not here for critiques of her 13-year-old’s outfits. After Catherine Pearlman’s daughter Casey was sent home with a letter stating she’d been dressed “inappropriately” for school two days in a row, Pearlmen penned a letter to the school’s principal with a simple challenge: Take Casey shopping and try to find her clothes that not only adhere to the dress code, but that she likes.

“Thank you for sending a note home for the second day in a row to say my daughter was dressed inappropriately for school,” Pearlman wrote in the letter, published in Today. “I’d like to offer an additional thank you for forcing her to change into large mesh shorts that have been worn by only God knows who and potentially never washed.

"To reward you for treating my daughter with such concern, I am cordially inviting you to take my daughter shopping,” Pearlman continued.

“I forgot to thank you for making it clear to my daughter that her body is somehow a distraction, either to herself or to the boys,” Pearlman wrote. “I thought she might have missed the message earlier in the year when the gym teacher told her she couldn’t wear yoga pants because the boys aren’t able to control themselves.

"I appreciate how hard you are working to drive the point home.” Read more (5/19/17)

You’re cordially invited to read Fandometrics’ Week in Review.

Television: Premieres on premieres!

Doctor Who’s Where, What, and Why: No. 9, this list, the tenth season premiere.
⬆ After the premiere of its fourth season, Skam is No. 1.

Movies: Trailers on trailers!

Star Wars: Episode VIII — The Last Jedi (@starwars​) released its first trailer and is appropriately No. 1.
Thor: Ragnarok’s teaser trailer brought this strong baby up to No. 2.

Originally posted by cruzmylene

Music: Big leaps and even bigger falls.

DAMN. He’s good. Kendrick Lamar jumps sixteen spots to No. 3.
⬇︎ Will Halsey still be on the list next week? She fell seventeen spots to a barely-there No. 20.

Originally posted by kendricksvevo

Celebrities: Hey, this mirrors the section above on movies.

☆ The Star Wars Celebration found some old friends in high places: Carrie Fisher is No. 1 (always, tbh) and Mark Hamill is No. 3.
Tom Hiddleston, Tumblr’s OG boyfriend, jumps seven spots to No. 4.

Games: Fresh meat.

Hiveswap returns at No. 18 in anticipation of it’s eventual release.
☆ Good news: Splatoon (No. 19) is coming to Switch!

Web stuff: Making Mooves.

⬆ In celebration of the anniversary of its first panel, the main character’s birthday, and a new game based on it…Homestuck is No. 1.
☆ A sweet return: Cow Chop (No. 20) comes back for the first time in almost a year.

3

Chronicles of Narnia: Father Christmas’ gifts

“These are your presents,” was the answer, “and they are tools, not toys. The time to use them is perhaps near at hand. Bear them well.” 

What the signs will teach you
  • Aries: To see your self worth, to take action in the workplace, and how to hold your liquor
  • Taurus: To self care, to be persistent in your goals, and how to appreciate nature
  • Gemini: To embrace your interests, to communicate effectively, and how to pose for the perfect Instagram photo
  • Cancer: To sympathize with others, to appreciate your family, and how to cook
  • Leo: To put your needs first, to speak your mind, and how to treat yo self
  • Virgo: To prioritize your goals, the importance of platonic love, and how to give the best hugs
  • Libra: To let go, to make new friends, and how to be cordial to people you hate
  • Scorpio: To be aware, to be in touch with your sensuality, and how to dress in style
  • Sagittarius: To be honest, to be spontaneous, and how to see the bright side
  • Capricorn: To surround yourself with the right people, to be critical, and how to update your resume
  • Aquarius: To look at things from new perspectives, to fight for what you believe in, and how to find your aesthetic
  • Pisces: To be vulnerable, to help others in need, and how to escape the world through music
2

The ‘Daily Mail’ found a way to blame a woman for her own murder

  • On Saturday morning, 21-year-old Brooke Preston stopped by her home in West Palm Beach to say a final goodbye to her former roommate, 24-year-old Randy Herman Jr., before she moved to Pennsylvania. 
  • According to the Daily Mail, the encounter was “cordial” — until Preston and Herman hugged, at which point he began slashing her repeatedly with a hunting knife. Herman has since been charged with first-degree murder. 

  • By any standard, it’s a sad story, and certainly one that didn’t need sexist tropes projected onto it. But that’s precisely what the Daily Mail did. Read more. (3/30/2017 2:44 PM)
  • Creative Intelligence:
  • Leo, 5th house, Uranus, Sun, Aquarius, 11th house
  • expanding the conscious sphere, illuminating and polishing the mind with creative bliss, expansion, and experience
  • Intuitive Intelligence:
  • Neptune, Pisces, 12th house, Jupiter, Sagittarius, 9th house
  • identifying with the collective and prophesying of symbolism. the inner capacity for universal love, recognition, sensing, meaning, generalization, and perceiving
  • Soul Intelligence:
  • Pluto, Scorpio, 8th house
  • the spiritual wisdom that facilitates profound transformation, ego death, and ascension, following the script of destiny
  • Interpersonal/Self Reflective/Self Development Intelligence:
  • Venus, Libra, 7th house, Taurus, 2nd house
  • the desire for beauty, tranquility, harmony, and meaningful relationships and connections. classifying human beings through cordial perspectives. the desire for contact and communion
  • Instinctual Intelligence:
  • Mars, Aries, 1st house
  • navigating scenarios through one’s self fulfilling prophecy and bursts of active imagination and intuition. the course of action and manifestation
  • Correlative Intelligence:
  • Mercury, Gemini, 3rd house
  • bringing worlds of contradicting information together in a cohesive display of presented knowledge. configuring abstract concepts and the creative genius of humor
  • Systematic Intelligence
  • Saturn, Capricorn, 10th house, Mercury, Virgo
  • Correlating knowledge and calculative observation, memory, collaboration, and synthesising logically based presentations
  • Emotional Intelligence:
  • Cancer, Moon, 4th house
  • emotionally infused intelligence that reacts to its environment, this can be somewhat selective, but reveals an intuitive awareness, sympathy, and repose

HOT TIP: if you see a post telling you a joke isnt funny and your reply is that exact joke, congrats!  you are cordially invited to put on a clown costume and fuck my car’s exhaust pipe until your horrid clown penis succumbs to the heat and smoke and withers into dust 

Don't want to make small talk because you don't want to f*ck me? Take your pocketful of change.

I work in a small but well known classic style diner that a few tv shows have been filmed in. Most of the women who work here are the types you would imagine, been here for several years and are mostly 50+. We have a lot of regulars, including several awkward middle aged men who have big crushes on the older servers.

I’m the youngest girl here and luckily don’t have any guys with a thing for me at the workplace. I’m a server, but nowadays I’m primarily the cashier, so I have to interact with mostly everyone who eats in alone. Most of the older guys with crushes are pretty nice. General harmless flirts who sometimes butter me up if they’re really old, mostly guys who are cordial with innocent crushes. But, there are a couple of guys that I can’t stand.

For some reason these men with bad haircuts in their forties still think that if you have a crush on a girl, you should be mean to every other girl when your crush is around to prove something. Like a full on standoff-ish attitude. So Mr. Balding Bowl Cut walks up to the register amidst me filing tickets and filling out clipboards (there isn’t a single computer or anything close to it in the entire restaurant), and just stares.

“Are you ready?” Silence. “Ok, your total is $10.01.” Silence. Hands me the money. “So how was everything?” Outright ignores me.

At this point I’m pretty peeved that melon head with a big nose thinks he’s honestly proving something or making some point by ignoring me and being rude.

He handed me a twenty dollar bill, and his total was $10.01. I have a leave a penny take a penny cup at the register for bills just like this, so I can just hand them bills and not bother with change. But not for this asshole. I take the twenty and give him $9.99. Precisely.

Take that, melon head.

  • me during the regular season: yknow there are rivalries and all but it's so nice that the hockey community can come together at any time through thick and thin
  • me during the playoffs: my team is the best team to have ever existed in the history of sport, every other team is the enemy and they are all personally and cordially invited to fight me

Concept: a small-town conspiracy thriller where the alien infiltrators and the undercover FBI agents tasked with opposing them have a weirdly cordial relationship because there’s really not anything worth fighting over way out here - the aliens honestly have no idea why the Big Giant Head has tasked them with infiltrating the town, and the agents are only there because the aliens are - and also all the townsfolk are low-key aware of the secret war that’s being fought under their very noses, but they (unconvincingly) pretend that they’re fooled in order to be polite.

under the cut you will find 46 connection ideas. a good portion of these are “piggy backs” on usual connections that go a little deeper (give me some depth to that neighbors connection – what kind of neighbors are they!?) for those of you that want plots that are more than the bare minimum like myself but aren’t quite sure where to start!

       there is one connection with a mention of alcohol, but i tried to keep the triggers at a minimum. the one with the trigger is labeled at the beginning of the connection so you can easily avoid it if necessary. if i’ve failed to mark a trigger, please let me know and i will update this immediately!

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