They live apart three-quarters of the year, their physical sex life is basically nonexistent, so Jack and Bitty have a lot of pent up energy and bring all of their problems to the ice because where else are they going to hash things out? It’s a good thing they don’t play each other often, because every Falconers v. Schooners game is a nightmare of awkward chirps, agressive hugging and sexual innuendo. It’s like the worst form of couples therapy imaginable. ESPN stops putting mics on them because they can’t edit enough out to make it appropriate.
Bitty skates by, obviously furious at the call, but instead of turning on the linesman he hones in on Jack, snarling, “Seriously, a Ferrari? Trying to score some 80s side-action? I thought your whole thing was proving you aren’t your father.”
Bitty gets right up against him, pressing in tight but not moving to drop his gloves or grab at Jack’s jersey. They both know exactly what this is, and Jack pushes down the reflexive spike of want, grinning around his mouth guard.
“That’s rich coming from you – could you have purchased larger truck? Compensating for something, Itty Bitty?”
Bitty spits out his mouth guard. “After we kick your fucking ass, I’m going to take you home and remind you how ‘itty bitty’ I am.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time–”
“Enough. Save foreplay for bedroom.” Tater groans, yanking Jack away from his husband.
Jack yells, “Are we still fighting?”
“Yes!” Bitty shouts, skating backwards to his own bench. “I hate your new publicist and fuck you for approving that photo where it looks like I have two chins.”
“Fight or fuck. You do neither and ruin both.” Tater mutters over the roar of the crowd. “How you married I do not understand.”
“We only play each other a few times a year. If we get all the tough shit out when we play, we can leave it on the ice.”
From across the ice, Bitty mouths ‘love you’ and Jack blows a kiss in return. Tater gags loudly.
“That is not what ‘leave it on the ice’ supposed to mean, Zimmboni.”
<b>ezor:</b> *looking at keith* you really did get yourself a grumpy boy...<p/><b>lance:</b> *fond eyes* isn't he?<p/><b>ezor:</b> i have a grumpy girl myself too<p/><b>lance:</b> the grumpier the cuter<p/></p>
My aesthetic? Nursey and Dex in a loving, supportive relationship where they build each other up and push each other to do their best, even if their words of affirmation come in the form of witty banter and playful chirping
listen y'all, I know we like to write Bitty as a “mom”, (I’ve been guilty of that too and its okay, like it’s totally fine) but. Bitty is twenty two and he is a frat boy who has grown up around athletes, he's gross and lazy and I would like to present you with some examples. okay, hear me out:
Tater and Bitty become fast friends and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted
Tater is like an overprotective St. Bernard: large, affectionate, and unable to gauge personal space. Jack’s continually surprised and pleased when Tater manhandles Bitty like a favorite younger brother. They’ve struck up this cheerful, affectionate friendship. Tater watches out for Bitty, but he also genuinely likes him and food. Bitty’s adopted Tater into their friend circle, which Tater needed. Bitty was the only one who’d noticed what an outsider Tater is.
Created with the help of the lovely @catyz101 and the wonderful @vintagecarter go ahead and give them a follow please.
- Two years after the attack, when the rangers graduate highschool, they decide to build a house together in the mountains near the ship.
-When goldar went down billy managed to save a lot of gold
“Like my dad said, you find it you keep it”
Needless to say they’re fucking loaded.
-Kim and Trini adopted a cat courtesy of her brothers. The twins found him and managed to keep him for a week before their mom found out and he was sent to live with Trini.
“Take care of gato for us”
“Wait you named i-”
“GATO, is in great hands”
-The cat loves everyone but Zack and Jason. Every time the cat cuddles up to Billy “traitor” can be heard faintly whispered through the house.
-Zack goes to the kitchen at 1 in the morning and finds the cat just sitting there staring at him, they have a staring contest for two mintues until he slowly backs away back into his room.
-They rotate dinner every night. They all make something thats authentic to them but the weekends are take out nights. It an unspoken rule of the house
-Zack almost breaking his neck doing a double take on Trini leaving from Kim’s room in the early morning
-“ITS NOT A WALK OF SHAME IF ITS YOUR OWN HOUSE” Kim passing by headed to the kitchen “you are definitely doing the walk of shame babe.”
-Billy quietly comments from the back “why are you so surprised, thats the 5th time this week.”
“Billy, its tuesday”
- “Hello, yes, i found your number in the yellow pages i was calling to tell you that MY BEST FRIEND JUST GOT LAID also a large pizza please”
-Trini watches a novella one day outta habit, and suddenly Jason and Zack are addicted. “No, trini you cant change the channel we are watching that!”
-Kim puts pink hair dye in her shampoo to figure out who keeps using it. The culprit was Jason…… and Trini
-“Who the fuck put jello in the toilet”
“You see its not actually jello its this silicone-”
“I’ll take it you’re upset with me….”
-Theyre the hardware stores best customer. The owner thinks they own a construction company. He is yet to be corrected
-One day the boys come back from the store early and hear a scream in the house. They all barge in too kims room and walk in on the girls.
“Oh my god GET OUT”
Billy closes his eyes and runs smack into the wall putting a hole in it while jason and Zack are running out dodging pillows.
-“Steve come here girl” “Zack we are not naming our dog Steve” “what about zordon?” “you wanna name my daughter after wall dad? How dare?” “you were about to name her Steve?!” “Personally i thik she looks like a Steve…” “Thank you billy”
-“Oh well if it isnt satan himself coming to visit my room when it does not belong here!” “Guys the cat isnt that bad”
“Billy do not speak on matters that do not concern you”
-“Who taught you savages to do the laundry?” “Trini relax.” “Relax? Jason, Isnt it bad enough my hair is pink but now my white tshirts are too because Zack put your shirts in with mine.”
-“Hey yellow, pink, your hell cat just attacked steve.”
“Do you dare slander my cats good name?! YOU CAN MEET ME IN THE PIT!!”
-They have color coded bath Towels. Zack likes to steal someone elses each week which isnt a problem until he struts out the bathroom in pink towels when Kim’s parents come to visit.
-“I know DAMN well i had last nights episode of Rupauls drag race recorded who DELETED IT?!?” “Sorry Zack that may have been me, but dont worry i have it recorded on my tv too” “Billy, you are my hero”
-Gato steals steves bed all the time and its the leading cause of argument in the house.
- “Satan’s spawn please, my daughters bed is too big for you and she cannot sleep in your small bed” hiss hiss “Okay that was rude” hiiiisss “TRINI! CONTROL YOUR SON AND GET HIM OUTTA MY DAUGHTERS BED RIGHT NOW”
-Fire alarm goes off at six in the morning. Multiple voices are heard screaming “KIM” from 4 seperate rooms