bdd*

things I don't want you to feel bad about

1. being unhappy for no specific reason. It’s not your fault, you’re not being selfish or spoiled. You can’t help it.
2. being unsure of your sexuality/gender identity. Again, not a thing you can really control. Humans are complicated and not everyone knows exactly what they like and who they are; some people need more time and that’s perfectly okay.
3. being trans or non binary or genderfluid or any other gender identity!! All that matters is that you’re being true to yourself and expressing yourself in the ways you feel happy and comfortable.
4. having issues with the way you look. You’re not vain, self centered, unworthy of love or somehow a bad person. Insecurities can take over someone’s life and if something is bothering you, that’s a real problem and you don’t need to apologize for it because other people don’t understand how much something hurts you.
5. getting triggered by things. Being “triggered” has become a huge meme and a lot of people mock and underestimate being triggered. If seeing something reminds you of something that hurts you, or makes you feel bad, causes you panic, etc, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Don’t let other people who scream “TRIGGERED!!!! I’M TRIGGERED!!!!” Make you feel guilty for your actual triggers.
6. other people’s opinions on how you look, the way you dress/present yourself, the things you like (as long as it’s not harming anyone!) and your situation in life. The only opinion of you that matters is your own. (again just don’t hurt anybody.)
I love you always, stay strong.

11 Things Everyone Dealing With BDD Should Say (But Can’t).

1. “I’m sorry that I’m constantly focused on my appearance; I don’t mean to irritate anybody. But I can’t stop.”

2. “When I rant about how shitty I look, it’s not to get sympathy, and it’s definitely not to make anybody else feel worse about themselves. It’s actually just how I see myself, every day - And sometimes I just get sick of it.”

3. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. It doesn’t help.”

4. “Don’t tell me I’m being ‘superficial’, ‘trivial’, or ‘obsessive’. I’m already fully fucking aware - trust me.”

5. “I’m sorry I can’t stop fixating on diets, or surgery, or whatever fucking fix I think I need. Again, I’m fully aware that I’m as obsessive as hell.”

6. “I don’t mean to give off the impression that looks are all that matter. They’re not. I know they’re not, but it feels like they are.”

7. “The only person I’m judging by these insane standards is myself.”

8. “Every time I’m in public, I can tell people are staring at me. I know they might not be, I know they probably couldn’t care less about a random passer-by like me, but I can tell they’re staring at me.”

9. “I hate myself every time I look in the mirror - and not knowing if what I’m seeing is ‘real’, an ‘exaggeration’, or ‘not as bad as I think it is’, only makes me feel worse.”

10. “I’m sorry if you’re feeling fed up with me. I’m pretty damn fed up with me too.”

11. “I don’t want to be perfect. I just want to be more than this.”

hi i wanted to write a post about BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) because ive never ever seen it discussed and i would like more people to be aware of it and maybe, some other people will realize they have it and not feel so messed up like i did for a long time

BDD is a disorder that makes you hyperfocus on your appearance, a lot of times its a specific part of your appearance. you obsess over a perceived ugliness and it preoccupies a lot of your time & makes daily functioning/social interaction very hard. its linked with other anxiety disorders (specifically OCD which i also have) and sometimes is thought of as being a subset of OCD

heres some symptoms in no particular order:

  • hiding/masking yourself (needing to put on a lot of makeup, always wearing sunglasses or baggy clothes, in my case i have to wear band-aids on my face and sometimes have to wear a literal face mask)
  • intense anxiety/suicidal feelings if “mask” isnt available
  • need for reassurance about appearance, but then immediately disqualifying any compliments you receive (”theyre just saying that to appease me, its because this picture was in a certain lighting/edited, i was wearing makeup” etc)
  • self-worth largely tied to appearance and thus feeling worthless very often. as a consequence it becomes really hard to talk about symptoms because preoccupation w/ appearance is seen as “vain”
  • withdrawal/fear in close or intimate relationships for fear of being seen as ugly
  • avoiding social situations for fear of being seen as ugly
  • looking in the mirror a lot (or avoiding mirrors), analyzing appearance daily, picking at skin/face/etc
  • comparing your appearance to other peoples (excessively and constantly: “people think this person is pretty and i look nothing like them so im ugly. people have called this trait ugly and i have it so im ugly” etc)
  • missing school, work, other events bc you feel like everyone will be staring at you and judging your appearance. this contributed to me dropping out of school
  • obsession with changing appearance or “fixing” perceived defects (personally i was obsessed with skincare for a long time and was always trying to find the perfect skincare routine and spent so much money on products trying to make my acne go away)

theres probably more but yea, this is getting really long! i would really really appreciate if people reblogged this so other people can know about it, also if you have any questions or just want to talk about your experiences feel free to shoot me an ask!

Life would be so much more fun if I were pretty. I would actually enjoy getting dressed up, putting on makeup, and going out. I could focus on so many other things instead of fixating on being ugly. Imagine the friends I’d have! Imagine what its like to be pretty and do your makeup!! Imagine taking selfies with your friends!! Posting selfies on instagram and getting comments from your friends building you up and telling you how gorgeous you are! Imagine going on dates! Imagine getting free drinks and stuff from men!Imagine what shopping and trying on clothes is like being pretty! The simple, seemingly basic things that I dont get to enjoy sound so amazing. And pretty women take it all for granted.

Diet and beauty culture thrive on guilt. Guilt over that delicious dessert. Guilt over that dress size. Guilt over those wrinkles. They teach you guilt and then they sell you the solution. Please, never feel guilty for existing. You are allowed to eat. You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to age. You are allowed to exist in the body you have right now without spending all of your time, money and self worth to change it.
—  Megan Crabbe, Bodyposipanda