Yeah, again, that’s something that I don’t think SM gave enough weight. It’s all “save Nessie! Save the Cullens!” but at what cost? Of course the argument is that Aro would have found out about the wolves and come after them anyway, so they really didn’t have any choice but to stand with the Cullens (the alternative would be eventually facing the Volturi alone), but it’s all still pretty sad that these kids–KIDS!!!–are having not only their lives disrupted by turning into wolves so young because of the presence of MOAR VAMPIRES in the area, but also risking their lives in this confrontation about something that has nothing to do with them.
I like to think that Jacob/Carlisle etc weren’t okay with it (Carlisle says to Sam “Don’t get your family slaughtered for pride,” so he tried to tell Sam not to get involved, but then Sam said something to the effect of: Jacob can’t abandon Nessie, we can’t abandon Jacob, so we’re all in), but it’s not an angle that SM was interested in exploring with any depth. It’s all about Bella’s fear for her daughter’s life–which is understandable, she’s the narrator–but Sue Clearwater must have been in fear of her children’s lives, too. If they had died in the confrontation, would that have torpedoed her relationship with Charlie (”his daughter and her choices indirectly got my children killed!”)? Like, this is way bigger than Bella and Nessie.