bc&d

Inhale, Exhale

Requested by: @princesskink

Hi there this is for the post you made for request? Can the pairings be between me and tom or like is it someone else and tom bc I’d really appreciate one were tom calms me or the reader down from a panic attack after their ex calls them (this actually happened to me a few days ago and it sucked) but anyway thank you

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Description: The reader gets a phone call from a toxic ex boyfriend and has a panic attack. Tom is there to pick up the pieces.

Warnings: panic attacks

Word Count: 2,174

A/N: I’ve never had a panic attack before, but I’ve done a lot of reading and research into it. The panic attack the reader gets is based off of source materials and things others have described to me. This is also my first reader insert and my first Tom Holland story so please be gentle 😂 If you have any requests, feel free to hit up my inbox! 



           Your heart was beating rapidly, thrumming in your chest so hard that it almost hurt. Your breath was coming in short, hurried bursts—the rapid sound of inhale, exhale, inhale filling the room around you. There was a pulsing at your temple, a dull ache that was making your vision fuzzy and your eyes water.

           You were distinctly aware that your phone had fallen to the floor and you were currently curled up against the wall, right next to it. The screen was still illuminating your kitchen and the “call ended” notification still hadn’t gone away. Your forehead was starting to feel clammy and you were shaking.

           Things had been fine for almost two years.

           You had moved out of your apartment that you shared with him and stayed with a friend until you could get back on your feet. You’d slowly started to regain your sense of self—you started going back out, started smiling again, started feeling better. You’d felt lighter than you had in years and suddenly, the world wasn’t so bleak anymore.

           Then, you’d met Tom. You still remembered when you had first met him, the memory burned into your brain like flame. You doubted you’d ever forget it. You had started working as a production assistant on the newest MARVEL film and things had been going well for you—better than you’d expected.

           The work wasn’t exhausting, the people were amazing, and you were doing something you loved. You met the actors slowly, as you bounced around from sound stage to sound stage, flowing wherever you were needed. There was little time to be star struck when you were surrounded by some of the biggest names in Hollywood constantly.

           You’d met Anthony first. He was one of the funniest people you’d ever met and had the confidence of a man who took himself and his work seriously. He introduced you to Sebastian and Chris, who were kind and soft spoken and so committed to their roles that you had a hard time not seeing them as Bucky and Steve.

           Then, slowly, you’d met the rest of the cast—Robert, Scarlet, Chris, Jeremy, Paul, and Mark—and you never once felt shy around them. They were a fun bunch, even more fun when they were all together, and they kept the set feeling lively and energetic. It was an amazing work environment and you loved it.

           You met Harrison sometime around the third week, as he was assisting Tom, who had only just begun shooting. You saw Tom around set a few times, but didn’t speak to him until nearly two months into the shooting process. The day you officially met Tom was one of the longest, busiest days on set.

           There had been a scene that had gone wrong, so production had been pushed back and everyone’s schedules went haywire. You had been darting around the set, speaking quietly with the directors and relaying messages to other assistants. In your comm, you heard the costuming director ask, “Can someone get Tom down to costuming, please?

           “I’ll send him your way,” You had responded. You wandered over to Tom, who had only just finished shooting his scene and stood next to him and waited for him to notice you. He was still wearing the Spiderman costume, his mask off and held loosely in his hands. “Excuse me, Tom?”

           He’d looked up, startled, from where he’d been about to take a drink. “Yes?”

           “They need you down in costuming,” You had said politely.

           He’d nodded his head, curly hair bouncing lightly as he did so. He took another big gulp of water and put his bottle down. “Thanks, love.”

           He had been gone before you could respond.

           It seemed silly to think of such a small moment as life changing, but it had been. After that day on set, suddenly Tom seemed to be everywhere. You usually moved across the studio as you were needed, but Tom was always somehow at every place you were sent. You saw him more and more as the shooting went on and you’d become friends.

           He’d asked you out a month after your first meeting and you’d said yes, smiling so wide that your face actually hurt from it. Tom had taken you out to dinner at a quiet restaurant in town where you’d sat in the booth and made heart eyes at each other for four hours. He had asked you out again the next morning.

           You’d been together ever since. It had been almost a year ago since you’d started dating. He was an astonishing human being and you adored every single second you spent with him. He knew how to make you laugh without trying, he knew how to brighten your day, and he knew how to calm you down from your moods.

           He was sweet and charming, kind and compassionate, funny and loving. He expressed more than any man you’d ever met and he wasn’t afraid to tell you when he was hurting. It was one of the things you loved most about him—how he’d come to you when he was feeling sad or angry or upset.

           The two of you worked well together—Tom was a ball of energy and you were the steady, calming presence that he needed to anchor him. You were an emotionally driven person and sometimes you got caught up in thoughts that tore you down, but Tom was always there to remind you of how to get back up.

           You loved him with everything you had. After your last relationship with him, you had sworn to never fall in love again, to never let yourself be vulnerable, to never let yourself be dragged under by someone else’s current. But here you were, hopelessly, desperately in love with Tom.

           And things had been going fine—great, even. You and Tom were happy. You came to his house most nights for dinner and movies, you went out shopping during the week with Harrison, you FaceTime’d the Hollands on the weekends, and you felt free for the first time in a very long time.

           But then you’d gotten the call.

           It had been your fault—you hadn’t checked the caller ID. You were at Tom’s house for the night, absently stirring pasta in the pot on the stove as you waited for Tom to get back from the store, where you’d sent him to pick up parmesan. When your phone rang, you’d automatically assumed it was Tom.

           But it was him. Your ex. The one who’d destroyed everything in your life and torn apart everything you held dear. The one who made you hate the person you were, who filled your heart with his terrible darkness, the one who’d made you swear to never, ever, fall in love with someone again.

           You couldn’t remember much of the conversation because as soon as you’d heard his voice, you heart has started pounding and your ears had started ringing. All you could remember was hearing him say your name and feeling the dread that made your heart drop all the way to your stomach.

           You had ended the call as soon as you heard him speak, but your vision was still turning black at the edges and you still felt faint. The sensation of pins and needles shot up and down your arms and you were certain that if you tried to stand, your legs would give way because they were shaking so bad.

           You couldn’t hear anything except the ringing in your ears and the sound of your panicked breaths. The wetness on your face dripped down your cheeks and onto your shirt, staining the grey material black. Your hands were trembling in your lap, vibrating with tension and anxiety.

           You were so lost in your own frightened mind that you hadn’t even heard the door open. You hadn’t heard Tom stroll into the house, hadn’t heard the way he’d called your name, didn’t heard the way the groceries clattered to the floor as he skidded across the kitchen to crouch down next to you.

           He grabbed your hands as his face swam into your line of sight, blurry and disorienting. He was saying your name, voice getting more and more frantic the longer it took you to respond. It must’ve been the, “Please, love, talk to me, what’s going on?” that startled you out of your state.

           Something about the British lilt to the words, the way he’d spoken, had stirred something in your brain that just said safe. So, you tried your hardest to focus on him and choked out a soft, “T-Tom?”

           His nervous, wide brown eyes finally found yours. You stared at him, taking comfort in the softness, the kindness you saw there. “Hi darling, come back to me,” He shushed your blubbering sobs quietly, thumbs rubbing gently across your wrists as he held you steady. “Easy now, dove.”

           “I c-can’t—”

           “I know, I know,” He shushed you again and moved closer, pulling you into his strong chest. He rubbed your back gently as he tucked your wet face into his warm neck. “Breathe, love, okay? Nice and easy. Breathe when I do,” His words were quiet and he placed both of your hands on his chest.

           Tom took a deep inhale that you desperately tried to follow. He held his breath for a few seconds and then exhaled deeply. He continued breathing like this for a few moments, inhaling, holding, and exhaling, until your own breathing had calmed down and you had sagged against him in relief.

           Your head was still pounding and your face was still wet, but your vision had cleared and your hands had stopped shaking. Tom was still rubbing your back, fingers making slow ovals from your shoulders down to your waist, when you finally felt comfortable enough to croak out, “Thanks.”

           “How are you doing?” He asked, voice still quiet.

           “Better,” You told him. You leaned back and looked up at his face, wiping underneath your eyes and under your nose. You felt exhausted and drained, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed for the next twenty-four hours and never get up.

           “What happened?” He asked, eyes searching yours.

           “He called me,” You explained, voice rough. “He said my name and I—I couldn’t—I couldn’t breathe.”

           “Easy, easy,” He cooed gently, brushing your hair out of your face. “He’s not here. You’re here, with me. You’re safe.”

           “I know,” You whispered, voice breaking. You coughed and sniffed, resting your head back against his chest. You rubbed at your eyes, sighing. “I hate that he has this much power over me. That he can make me fall apart like this.”

           “That’s what people like him do, my love,” Tom said, voice sad and apologetic. “They get into your head and fill it with lies and hatred. They tear you down and break you apart.”

           “I just wish he’d leave me alone,” You admitted.

           “I do too,” Tom nuzzled the top of your head, lightly brushing his nose over your scalp. “I hate seeing you like this.”

           “I’m sorry,” You told him, fingers curling in the soft cotton of his shirt.

           “Don’t apologize, darling,” He said immediately, placing a firm, but gentle kiss at the crown of your hair. “You don’t need to apologize for anything, you hear me?”

           You nodded slowly. “Thank you, Tom. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

           “You’re welcome, my love,” He squeezed you just a little bit tighter. “I’ll always be here for you.”

           “I know,” You said, smiling into his neck.

           Tom helped you to your feet slowly, holding on to your hands to make sure you didn’t fall. You swayed in to him, being pulled into his orbit like the moon to the earth. He rubbed your back as you settled against his chest. He glanced at the stove. “Why don’t you go get in bed, and I’ll clean up in here?”

           You were too tired to argue, so you mumbled out an, “Okay,” and stumbled off towards Tom’s bedroom. You didn’t waste any time in stripping to your pajamas, throwing on one of Tom’s softest shirts and climbing under the thick, heavy comforter. Tom came into the bedroom only a few minutes later.

           He followed your lead, stripping out of his clothes and into his sleep attire, before clicking off the light and climbing in beside you. He curled up behind you immediately, his arm bracketing your waist and his nose pressed against the base of your spine. You wedged one of your feet between his and pressed your back against his chest.

           “Goodnight, darling,” Tom breathed out, already sounding half asleep. His breath tickled the back of your neck and gently moved your hair. “I love you.”

           A genuine smile slid across your face. “I love you too, Tom.”


A/N: requests are open loves, hope you all enjoyed xx

anonymous asked:

do you ever just look at a picture at namjoon and screech at how pretty he is? bc i sure do - d

I screech at every picture of them, they’re a blessing to my eyes

anonymous asked:

i have weird dysphoria about my violin? Im a music student and i absolutely adore my violin but it makes me feel weird bc im still closeted and my pals in class were talking about what instruments are more feminine and which are more masculine and using that fact that I play violin as evidence towards violins being feminine... It makes me uncomfortable that my instrument is being considered "girly" I've also been considering learning the trombone bc it'd give people a more masc first impression,

Hey! I think it’s a little silly that people are trying to gender instruments like that. Violin takes a whole lot of skill and practice and that has nothing to do with gender. You playing the violin doesn’t make you more feminine at all.
-Rowan

anonymous asked:

who is flannel boy?? i checked the tag but i couldnt figure out?? explain carol //

oh it’s rly far down the tag lol,,, i don’t rly want to talk about it tbh bc i’d rather not bring it all up again but he was a guy i saw while in seoul

anonymous asked:

Ok i don't know how to tell this bc I'm not good at English, but Evie didn't know. She though that the way she acts around Mal was just friendly; but she knows now. It's obvious bc when Mal and Ben kiss again she looks down; like she can't watch them. Our little baby didn't know and know her heart is broken. Imagine realized that and then go with your crush to the same room, deal with that and knowing that bc she is Mal'd best friend she is gonna listen all about Ben. Um maybe good for a fic?

your english is very good!!! idk what language you speak but if you speak spanish, im mexican so you can speak spanish to me anytime you want if it makes you feel more confortable even tho your english is really good!!! and i’d LOVE a fanfic like this omg

6

some twitter BNHA warmup doodles from the past couple days, most of which i had to painstakingly edit out my twitter name from and replace it with my tumblr handle bc I D IDN’T. SAVE. ANY RAW FILES LIKE AN IDIOT. way to go me. 

i rly like drawing bokuaca tho, i feel like it fits my style really well!

(please don’t repost/use without permission)

EDIT: oh, and an extra all might:

10

Persona 5 : Phantom Thieves Edition Click & drag [Do not repost !]

Another c&d bc I love Persona way too much ! I added Mishima since he is a member of the PT as well and  i’ll fight you with my bare hands if you disagree

#mod1

Traitors

if u try and say bi women can’t use butch/femme/the d slur bc they’re “lesbian exclusive” ur just stupid bc what is so different in the experience of being a bi woman vs being a lesbian? bi women are oppressed under lesbophobia too and have every right to claim these terms. stop grouping bi women with straight women it’s biphobic & transparent as hell

something that bothered the shit outta me is how they used matt and foggy’s disagreements in daredevil season 2 to minimize foggy’s importance in matt’s life. in that scene where the defenders were going after their loved ones to bring them to a safe place, i was hoping that i’d see matt grabbing foggy at some point. but he didn’t. he went straight to karen, and i don’t condemn it, she’s his friend and he loves her. but foggy is in another level. back in the comics, matt went to jail and shit went down bc he thought he’d lost foggy. it almost drove him insane.i shit you not, matt murdock gets scary as shit once he thought foggy had died while visiting him in jail. matt could pick foggy’s heartbeat in that jail with hundreds of people, and he had to hear them “killing” foggy, and there was nothing he could do about itll. it haunted him for weeks, until he started get shit done. all the goddamn guards in the prison were so scared of him they’d anything to be on his good side. his inmates in would rat everyone out if it’d save their skin. i think the punisher was there too at that time but nvm. his level of PTSD was no joke.

more recently, matt faked foggy’s death when foggy got sick bc it was too dangerous for him to not stay in the shadows. it broke him when he knew he could lose foggy to a disease; he even took foggy to a “ride” with daredevil around the city to cheer him up, it was cute and sad at the same time.

also recently, when matt had one opportunity to see someone bc he got his sight back momentarily, he went to foggy. he wanted to see foggy’s face; his best friend, someone who has been with him in all his ups and downs in life as matt murdock and as daredevil. that’s how much foggy means to him, and to see that over looked and cast aside pisses the shit out of me.

my point is that matt needs foggy just as much foggy needs him and despite the catholic bs, he knows foggy is his moral compass. don’t get me wrong, i don’t hate karen or any other of his friends but you gotta see that the role foggy nelson plays in matt’s life goes way beyond their fights, goes way beyond matt being a stupid little shit, goes beyond their paths being in different roads but always converging. they always come back to their friendship no matter how much damaged by each other they got. foggy is the most important person in matt’s life; it has been proven over and over again and i don’t want to diminish karen or any other of his friends’ roles. i love that karen has her own storyline, her own fights (let's be honest: her romantic plot with Matt doesn’t have any chemistry at all, they’re good as just friends); it makes her an incredible character. but it is just how it is. it always has been nelson and murdock, and even when foggy didn’t agree with what matt was doing and how he was leading his life, putting himself in danger, he still stayed at matt’s side for as long he could. foggy bringing him the daredevil suit it’s just not a proof that foggy supports matt even in crazy shit like that, but also that he believes in him, and in the daredevil. that he believes matt could help make their city a better place. foggy knew a day would come that matt wouldn’t come home anymore, he just wished that ninja asshole could pull one more stunt, one last time. but he didn’t, and a bit of foggy died with him back there. once matt asked him if foggy wished he’d stayed and fought for nelson and murdock, but he meant about them. it’d be too selfish to foggy to ask him to stay.