bc this week has been like the same meal every day

idk what this is besides mostly crack (canon) that @skamforfaen and i discussed abt some things vilde might say, and do once she eventually!! becomes comfy with her sexuality. 

  • isak and vilde!!! yes gay pals!!! they’re going to be like “that’s homophobic” whenever something minorly inconveniences them and laugh so hard and everyone else is just “?????”
  •  i can imagine vilde sayin that first with the squads and then everyone’s “ …???…” and then isak goes all mock serious and “didn’t u hear her??? that IS homophobic smh”
  • *water bottle falls down on the floor* “well, THAT’S homophobic”
  • *gets bad grade on a test* my teacher is homophobic”
  • imagine sometimes how it just slips out at the worst of times bc vilde suddenly gets really into lgbt history/negative stereotypes and suddenly becomes really educated and she just, thinks everything is homophobic and oppressive (is she wrong tho)
  • “can that server tell i kissed my gf today??? Is that why my meals late? This is blatant rude homophobia im going to talk to the manager!“ 
  • and eva’s there like “vilde, we just kissed 2 minutes ago.” - “i know that eva! but our food is late! she’s homophobic!”
  • “vilde, you cant blame everything on homophobia.” - “and why not eva???” - eva gives her a look. - “well, you might not see the blatant disregard heterosexuals shoot our way because we are a same-sex couple eva, but i do! would a straight girl have to wait 10 extra minutes for her salad if she was with a boy?? i don’t think so!”
  •  "vilde it was one time and she gave u a valid reason.“ - “well we’ll see abt next time hmm." 
  • next time ends up being 2 days later and this time vilde ends up with no cutlery. "see eva, what did i tell you? homophobia.”
  • one time vilde says “as a gay,,” in isak’s presence and he chokes on air
  • “vilde,,,, you cant just- you cant just say that!” 
  • “and why not, isak?”
  • “you- cant-you- just- you just cant!?”
  • "i don’t have a problem with it isak. i’m gay. you know,,,, the stigma attached to the label can be very dehumanizing and hurtful but the more we use it the more it becomes ours and the less people can hurt us with it bc there’s nothing wrong it, is there isak? i like girls and you like boys and people just have to accept that.”
  • just give me isak and vilde learning from each other and gradually becoming friends and supporting one another (even tho it takes time to get there, vilde is forever thankful that she’s got isak and vice versa tbh)
  • just imagine vilde getting all philosophical and progressive once shes really comfy with herself.
  • just imagine vilde, isak, even and eva bonding over their sexuality and forming a group within their group!
  • pls vilde would so join “skeiv ungdom” (lgbtqia+ youth group), she’d be the fucking LEADER of skeiv ungdom oslo and organize all these pre-games and parties and demonstrations .  
  • she’d make sure its the safest place for everyone and just like with her first kosegruppa meeting, she’d make everyone do exercises and get to know each other and have introductions and make sure people use each others correct pronouns. 
  • and sometimes they play games or talk about their experiences and also the joys of being gay and how it gets better and how these groups are supposed to create a supportive place to talk and relate to one another but to also have fun and Hope.
  • some days they talk about certain lgbt topics and they vote on which one to dicuss first. e.g. compulsory heterosexuality, coming out, links between being lgbt and mental health, support networks, history, icons, songs, etc. 
  • and sometimes new members come in so they do this thing where every week they introduce each other again by their name, sexuality (if they want) and something good they want to share with each other that happened to them in the last week
  • sometimes people who’ve been coming to the meetings from the beginning end up introducing themselves one day but for the first time, actually coming out as well. so the constant introductions give all the members the option to come out when they feel comfortable or sure, bc not everyone in the group is out or labels themselves.
  • even is definitely co-leader along with vilde, she asked him specifically bc she loves the way he talks to people and the two of them have had numerous educational and supportive talks and have become pretty close. 
  • even “you don’t think that’s a bit of a superficial generalization?” bech næsheim.
  • i bet vilde would bake sweet buns (boller, like she did for kosegruppa) and pride cupcakes for the meetings too.
  • now pride: she’d make everyone bring at least one thing to pride (they’d make a day of it at isak’s place and get everything ready there and leave together) but she’d make sure she bakes and has a hell of a fun time frosting with her friends and gf eva. the frosting would be rainbow ofc and everyone ends up leaving the house with frosting smeared on their cheeks, cue a lot of kisses from everyones significant other.
  • just. concept: proud lesbian vilde, along with her fellow gay isak, his pansexual boyfriend even and her bisexual gf eva!
How we actually met (1/1)

Summary: Two ladies develops love online. They both travel around the world separately as their jobs. They only knows each others first names. Now they describe how they meet in person.

AN: Non Power Rangers AU. Modern AU.

So this is based off of a short film called Modern/Love starring Naomi Scott. You can choose to either read the story first or watch the video first. If you choose to read first, it will be spoilers for the video and vice versa so yeah… You choose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZgDevrsszA
It’s a great 10 minute short film and I highly recommend it.

Read on FF Ao3


They met online accidentally.

Trini was suppose to message a partner from work when she mistyped the username and started chatting with Kxmberly, a woman named Kimberly who had an icon picture of an aesthetic pink background and a silhouette of a women (Trini presumed it was Kimberly).

Meanwhile, Trini had the username TriniBee with the icon of a selfie, one hand covering half of her face.

It’s been 6 months since the two have been chatting online, they were confident with each other that the person on the other side of the screen was not a troll or some creep on the internet. At the same time, they also made a mutual agreement to no pictures and no last names until they meet personally just to make it more intimate between the two of them.

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a saeran hc post

i know there’s a ton of these out there and this is SO LONG im sorry i dont know how to shut up lol, i want to update my fics but im in the home stretch of getting through this week of classes before i go on break ;;;; so uh, have this post of some kind of general hc’s and some thoughts on how saeran feels about each of the members of the rfa + some vanderwood

spoilers of course, also mentions of smoking and vague notions at abuse and stuff, also this is just super long and ridiculous and im sorry aha

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anonymous asked:

so do you have any character headcanons?? like for different aus or something?

i actually have a whole lot but um
lemme just put like thomas and laurens
we’ll see how much room i have 0.0


modern au john:

~ has like seven 80s chokers and wears one specific color/charm for each day of the week
~ listens to a whole lot of music, ranging from kpop to lady gaga to musicals
~ is a complete slut for cute/baby animals
~ has these big “hipster” glasses but usually wears contacts
~ beanies, beanies, BEANIES
~ wears oversized sweaters almost all the time, and they usually slip off his freckled shoulders and then ham usually has to come along and cover up the strong shoulder game bc “you’re distracting everyone, do you WANT to get harassed??”
~ short shorts are BAE for this one
~ is actually a successful cover artist on youtube, and his most viewed covers are bad romance perfect illusion, both by lady gaga, try everything by shakira and feel the light by jennifer lopez
~ can play piano, drums, flute and acoustic guitar
~ once was dared in truth or dare to start an argument about the dumbest thing he could think of with ham and then make up about something even dumber and eventually it got to a point where ham yelled, “oh, fuck you, john!” and not even thinking, john replied, “i have been wanting you to for years, alexander!” and it was so awkward and john was a literal freckled tomato but they didn’t stop and when they made up it’s bc ham said “joke’s on you, i got that ring from a kid’s meal!” and john just froze and looked at him all hopeful like “you bought a kid’s meal…?” and then they did the typical fake make out and everyone applauded them
~ dared jefferson to kiss the prettiest girl in the room during the same game, and he said “notice how i charitably said ‘girl’ and not ‘person’ because, let’s face it, if smoke all you bitches”
~ is GAY but when isn’t he
~ is actually great at doing his own and others’ makeup
~ has a pet turtle, sphinx kitten, parakeet, snake, shiba inu puppy AND one year old siberian husky
~ biggest potterhead he knows
~ often gets into fake wizard duels with lafayette and peggy
~ did i mention he can fucking crochet
~ once had all his friends take a gary potter quiz about which house they’d be in and based off the results stayed up for days, only sleeping once or twice, making scarves for everybody for what house they’d be in
~ has scarves for the four houses himself and wears them even during the summer bc why the hell not
~ the last thought that runs through his head before making any decisions is “eh, fuck it.. if it fails… well let’s not dwell on that”
~ “i will throw you across the room”


modern au jefferson:

~ calls every one of his friends “sweetie” for some reason
~ casually watches home, then angry birds, then home, then angry birds, then home–
~ is a slut for disney
~ keeps flirting with johnny boooiiiiiiiiiiiii for hamilton (“hey, john, just look at that fine piece of ass, go grab it!” pushes john toward hamilton)
~ gets sick a lot bc he spends too much time with madison but oh well that’s what boyfriends do
~ once climbed a tree during a game of hide and seek and fell out and crushed the seeker
~ is a slytherin
~ is fluent in french, italian and german
~ great at painting/drawing scenery
~ kinda sketches madison for “practice”
~ can actually cook very well but all he fucking makes is macaroni anD CHEESE
~ awkward boi
~ cheesy as all hell
~ is a dance teacher, as in he teaches people to dance to certain popular songs and he is gREAT
~ had some students who became teachers bc they loved dancing and him and they always get the job considering he’s basically the manager
~ can’t spell for shit on his phone bc tiny ass phones are hard to type on but he can’t afford a bigger one bc nobody pays him but hey it’s whatever, james is the one with the paying job and he gets paid a lot so we’re all goooooood fam
~ can play practically any string instrument you put in front of him
~ also piano
~ and french horn
~ loves just playing songs like dance in the dark by rihanna or red balloon by charli xcx really loud when he’s home alone so he can just dance around while doing stuff
~ CATS CATS CATS
~ actually has like six cats even though he’s allergic
~ keeps flirting with alex for john (“hey, alex, some nice hands you got, they’d look even better on john’s ass!” pushes alex in john’s direction)
~ actually loves cheese
~ actually has a lot of star wars, harry potter, and really any broadway play/musical mercy in his room
~ casually runs around the neighborhood at six in the morning while it’s pouring down rain
~ actually one of those lil tree things with mini solar panels that dance when placed out in the sun but shshshhh don’t tell anyone

ok that’ll do

anonymous asked:

I know we have had a chubby MC in the past. But, what about this (if I may ask):The characters finding out that chubby!MC has been doing some unhealthy things to lose weight because she feels like she’s not worthy enough to be with them as she looks now. (BTW: Love your blog!!!! <3 )

Author’s note: yoooo, long time no post, eh? TRIGGER WARNING: eating disorders!!!  please take care of yourselves… you’re all beautiful :)

Yoosung

  • he knew something was wrong when you two went to your favorite restaurant
  • and the only thing you ordered was a coffee
  • “MC?”
  • “What’s up?”
  • “Are you just… not hungry?”
  • “Oh… no, I ate before we came.”
  • lies
  • yoosung had been with you all day
  • and not once did you have bite to eat
  • but he decide to keep his mouth shut, until the car ride home
  • “Why did you lie to me?”
  • you looked over at the blonde behind the wheel
  • “What?”
  • “You said you ate, b-but I  know you didn’t.
  • “Oh… that.”
  • you started to mess with your hands
  • “Well, I stopped eating as much as I normally do a couple weeks ago, and then yesterday you told me I had looking better recently. So… I decided to continue, until I-I look my best for you-”
  • you were cut off by the swerving of the car
  • “Yoosung?”
  • his eyes were watering
  • slowly, he pulled over to the side of the road
  • “Yoosung, I-”
  • he unbuckled and reached over, hugging you
  • “MC, I didn’t mean to make you do this! I-I love you so much, and I would never want you to treat your body like this. I should be trying to look better for you! You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, a-and… a-and…”
  • he started crying harder
  • “Please eat. Please eat again. I’ll make you all the meals you want!! Even those gross v-veggies you like!”
  • “Brussel sprouts?”
  • “Yes!”
  • soon your tears matched Yoosung’s
  • on the way  home, he stopped by the grocery store
  • and when you two got home
  • he made a whole plate full of brussel sprouts
  • and watched you eat the whole thing

Zen

  • All it took was one time
  • One letter
  • One sentence
  • You read Zen’s fan mail all the time
  • Mainly bc you’re hella nosey but sometimes the fans mention you
  • So when Zen dropped a stack of envelopes, you helped yourself
  • “Bill, bill, complaint from Jumin, Bill, OH HERE ARE A COUPLE!”
  • You flipped through them, but stopped when you saw one labeled “Your girlfriend.”
  • You tore it open without any hesitation
  • I wonder…
  • As you scanned the page, your heart dropped
  • “Ugly… Loud mouth… stringy hair…”
  • “…Too fat to stand by your side…”
  • Zen walked over to the table
  • “Whatcha reading, babe?”
  • You quickly put the letter in your back pocket and held up Jumin’s letter
  • “Oh, nothing. Jumin sent you another note.”
  • “I swear, if this is about me taking his parking spot, AGAIN, I’m going to quit.”
  • You faked a laugh and looked away
  • “H-hey, I’m going to go to bed early…”
  • “Without eating dinner?”
  • You choked back a sob
  • “Yeah.”
  • Zen stared at you as you walked away
  • You went into the bathroom and turned the sink on
  • looking at the toilet, you grimaced
  • You have to do this… for Zen
  • Little did you know
  • He had watched as the letter fell out of your back pocket he was checking out your ass when it happened
  • You tied your hair back and bent over the toilet
  • Here goes-
  • “MC? MC open this door right now.”
  • “I’m a little busy, Zen.”
  • “Busy with what?”
  • “Uh…”
  • He didn’t wait for your response
  • When he saw you kneeling by the toilet, his heart broke
  • It one quick movement he picked you up, carrying you to the bedroom
  • “Zen-“
  • No.”
  • He set you down and kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his
  • “You are so beautiful. You are so perfect. You are the love of my life, MC. So, don’t you dare let some jealous fan tell you otherwise.”
  • When he kissed your hand, you his warm tears fall on them
  • The next day, Zen made an announcement, saying he wasn’t going to accept fan mail for awhile
  • “I am extremely disappointed with my fan base, and the way they talk about my lovely girlfriend. The next time I hear even the tiniest of rumors about her, I will resign.”
  • And you never got hate from a fan again

Jaehee

  • After weeks of begging
  • Jaehee finally got a much needed day off
  • She was sOOO excited to spend the day with you
  • You two talked about how you wanted to spend the day
  • But after about five minutes of discussion, you both agreed on just staying at the house in your pjs
  • Jaehee organized the mail, cleaned her closet, and did all of the chores she never had time for with her work schedule
  • But through the day he noticed something
  • You hadn’t eaten anything
  • You were on the computer when she asked
  • “Hey, MC, have you had anything to eat today?”
  • “…What?”
  • “Are you hungry?”
  • “Nah, I had a cup of coffee this morning!”
  • She walked up to you and put a hand on your shoulder
  • “That was 8 hours ago… what’s going on?”
  • “I-I’m trying to lose weight…”
  • Now it was Jaehee’s turn to be confused
  • “What?”
  • You turned back to the computer, ashamed
  • “I just want to look perfect for you… that’s all.”
  • Jaehee bent over and turned your chin toward her
  • “You are perfect.”
  • She placed a delicate kiss on your lips
  • “But you need to eat. I’m going to take tomorrow off too.”
  • “Jaehee-“
  • “Nope. I’m going to go call Jumin. When I get back, you and I are going out to dinner. Go change into something nice,” she winked.
  • The entire night she made sure you ate, and the next day she made you breakfast

Jumin

  • “If you would excuse me, I have to go and powder my nose.”
  • You smiled at Jumin and his coworkers
  • You two had decided to host the monthly dinner party, and you had just finished dessert
  • As you walked away, Jumin told a cheesy joke, making his peers laugh
  • Rolling your eyes, you went to the master bathroom
  • Eat your food, throw it all up, laugh at Jumin’s jokes
  • It was the same at every dinner party
  • Only this time you had the luxury of regurgitating in your own home
  • It had all started when you were playing tennis with Jumin’s boss and his wife
  • His skinny, blonde wife
  • You two had purposely lost, and you went to shake their hands
  • “Good game you two,” you smiled
  • “Thanks,” the wife responded, “I’ve been meaning to get a workout in”
  • Jumin’s boss patted his wife’s stomach
  • “You have been looking a little bloated, but nothing one of your diets won’t fix!”
  • It was disgusting
  • But then, the way Jumin’s boss looked at you
  • Looked at your body
  • Made you feel even more disgusting
  • Of course, Jumin didn’t hear any of this
  • He was still running around collecting the stray tennis balls
  • So now here you are, several months later
  • Once you finished, you wiped your mouth             
  • You looked yourself in the mirror and put on a smile
  • But as soon as you walked out of the bathroom, that fake smile dropped
  • “J-Jumin?”
  • He was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands
  • “How long?”
  • “Hmm?”
  • He looked up at you with a scowl
  • “How long?”
  • You slowly made your way over to him and sat down on the bed
  • Taking a deep breath, you turned to look at your husband
  • His eyes were red, and his hands were balled up, grasping the sheets of your bed
  • Was he shaking?
  • You looked past him to see a broken vase
  • …did he throw that?
  • “For a-a couple months.”
  • And that was all it took
  • He wrapped you up in his arms and pulled you unto his lap
  • He buried his head in your chest
  • “Why would you do this to yourself? You are everything I need, and everything I love in it. You’re my life. Why are you doing this?”
  • You sighed, telling him the story of his boss and wife
  • His grip on you loosened
  • “Jumin?”
  • He took you off his lap and stormed out
  • “Jumin where are you-“
  • You stopped when you figured out the answer
  • “JUMIN, WAIT!”
  • You ran out to catch him, but it was too late
  • Jumin tapped his boss on the shoulder
  • “Ah, Mr. Han-“
  • That was all he was able to say before Jumin broke his nose
  • But he didn’t stop there
  • Jumin followed him to the ground, continually punching his face
  • “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? MY WIFE IS PERFECT.”
  • You were horrified
  • “JUMIN, STOP.”
  • He turned around
  • “But-“
  • “I said, stop.”
  • He stood up and straightened his jacket
  • Looking at the bloodied man now on the ground, he spit in his direction
  • He then looked up at his guests
  • “I believe it’s time you leave.”
  • He then retreat to you, hold you in his arms
  • “Never do that again,” you murmured.
  • He looked down at you
  • “Anything for you.”

707

  • It was around 2AM when you binged
  • Seven had just restocked all of his goodies, and you just couldn’t resist
  • You just hated what came next
  • You made your way down to the bathroom
  • What you had forgotten, in your tired state, were two critical things
  • 1. Seven never sleeps
  • 2. You didn’t shut the door
  • You pushed two fingers down your throat
  • The usual routine
  • Seven heard your gags and rubbed his sleepy eyes
  • “I guess MC came down with something…”
  • He pushed his chair away from his desk and went to go help you
  • “MC-“
  • He stopped when he saw the fingers in your mouth
  • you turned to him, eyes wide with fear
  • “Seven?”
  • the hacker stood still and continued to stare
  • he looked like his world was crumbling
  • you closed your eyes and prepared for one of Seven’s signature hugs
  • when you didn’t feel his arms around you, you opened your eyes
  • and what you saw
  • was the most heartbreaking thing you’ve seen to this day
  • Seven had slid down the wall and was hugging his knees
  • his glasses were off, and you could hear his sobbing and ragged breath
  • “Seven?”
  • “…I’m sorry.”
  • you could’ve have heard him correctly
  • did he just apologize?
  • you crawled over to him and lifted his face up
  • you stared into his red, watering eyes
  • “Did you say sorry?”
  • his bottom lip started to quiver
  • then he lunged forward you, wrapping his arms around you
  • his head found the nook of your neck
  • “Seven, please-”
  • “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn;t be strong enough for you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice before. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how beautiful you were more often. I-I’M SORRY I FAILED YOU.”
  • “You didn’t-”
  • “YES I DID! MC, you are the only person in this entire galaxy that I care about. Hell, if you cared about yourself even ¼ as much as I do, you’d have an ego like Zen’s.”
  • you giggled, despite the situation
  • “There is no creature on this earth that could describe your beauty, MC. Not even an angel is enough. God knows I don’t deserve you. But here you are, trying to change the way you looking, thinking you could improve. MC, you can’t perfect perfection. There is no ‘better’ when it comes to you. You are the holiest of holies, the queen among queens, a Goddess among angels. So please. No more.”
  • He unraveled himself from you, and kissed your forehead.
  • “I love you. Let’s get some sleep.”
  • he stood up and extended his arm to help you up
  • but you just sat there
  • trying to comprehend what he just told you
  • “…the entire galaxy… no creature on the earth…perfect perfection… “
  • a Goddess among angels
Witchy Self-Care for Finals (or whenever!)

It’s no secret that I’ve been going through a pretty rough mental health patch. And with final exams this week, that is not a good thing. But because every cloud has a sunbeam behind it, it inspired me to create this witchy self-care guide for whenever you really need it. (Prob going to be a long post, sorry.)

It’s real important for us to keep up our self-care routines, if only because our body is the conduit through which magic flows. If the channel is damaged, our magic will suffer. 

Eat small and eat often. Our brain needs calories to function. Food is energy, it is not the enemy. But if preparing food is just too much work, try eating small meals that are easy to prepare and clean up after: instant oatmeal, fruit, instant potatoes, cheese and crackers, etc. Add spices/certain elements for intent. 

Limit caffeine. Don’t completely cut it out bc then you’ll just have withdrawal and be miserable. But try subbing coffee or energy drinks for tea. When in doubt: water is the best option. If you can’t stand the taste- try adding mint, lemon, or other fruit to match an intent. 

Don’t sit in the same place all day. I am hella guilty of this, but we are not sedentary creatures. Even if you’re studying like a madman, get up to stretch once an hour. Try to take a walk everyday, get some time outside. Again, if you’re really really low energy: you can do stretches in your bed. Try these.  If you really need a break or stress removal- try to do a full workout vid. 

Please sleep. Even if it’s a little bit. We cannot function on no sleep. It limits brain activity, and you won’t be able to perform at your best. If you can’t relax enough to sleep for 8 hours at once, try sleeping in short intervals. Anything is better than nothing. Try sigils, herb sachets, sleepy time tea, to relax. 

Bath magic! When we’re low energy, it can be difficult to devote time to making spells work properly because we can’t channel enough energy towards our intent. This is perfectly normal, but can be frustrating. Bath magic kills two birds with one stone. It’s a low energy form of magic, you get clean, and relax all at the same time. Try @recreationalwitchcraft for some awesome ideas.

Hope these help! Add more self-care ideas to the chain. Every little bit helps, you never know who will read it when they need it most. 

Many blessings- Kate.  

Galatea.

oneshot

pairing; doll/mannequin!jihoon x creator!reader

summary; No man has ever caught your eye. You saw them as stuck up, annoying, disgusting and arrogant… That is, until Jihoon began to function without strings and fingers to pull them.

word count; 1,421

a/n; wowie! haven’t posted any of my works for weeks! my biggest apologies everyone, im v busy w school and work. im currently in bed w the flu so ive been writing a butt ton all day! im tagging @fairyjeons​ bc she’s beyond excited to see this! <3

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youtube

Jesus Camp: A Full Documentary

As I always say, if you have to manipulate and traumatise children… to get your point across? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

How to become an angry little volcano: watch this… try not to practice your Darth Vader strangle-hold on the adults involved (especially the pro-life asshole).

Holy shit… you are talking about kids as ‘warriors’ who need to DIE for THEIR GOD.

If you are putting DUCT TAPE over kids (as young as 5/6)’s mouths to protest against abortion… something they do not really have a concept of other than your twisted ‘tiny fully-formed baby model gets murdered by heartless women who dared get pregnant’ spiel… that’s NOT OKAY?!

If you have kids in hysterical tears…

…if you have them CONVULSING ON THE FLOOR…

…if they are so emotionally distressed they have o idea how to cope with it and are physically ill…

…if you teach them they are nothing but blank tools for God to use… and tell them being indiviuduals/having your own thoughts is WRONG…

…if you have them apologising to your imaginary fucking friend, to the point they reach any of those stages… 

THEN YOU ARE IN THE WRONG?!

It’s brainwashing? What the fuck is wrong with you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

-

And the anti-Muslim spiel in the first 7 minutes… rude.
Pretty sure they DON’T make 5 year olds do Ramadan, nor women who are menstruating or pregnant. Nor do ‘They’ (bc clearly all Muslim people are a block of identical clothes).

She throws down the idea of child soldiers (Islamic children learn to use guns and teach kids to strap on suicide bomb belts, apparently)… but then she starts endorsing the idea of Christian children being soldiers for God…

“I want to see them as radically laying down their lives for the Gospel, as they are in places like Pakistan… because we HAVE THE TRUTH!”

…you want to weaponise children.
No matter what cause, that’s wrong…

“Gotta take back the land.”

“The world is hostile to us true Christians…” 

…perhas because you’re just as fucking radical as ISIS at this point?!

‘Weaponise the children to die for God!’ she says, completely unironically as she condemns the ‘Islamic People/Muslims’ (they’re the same thing to her, apparently) for using children as soldiers.’

-

Creationism… 

“Evolution is based on belief.”

…so… so is… your fucking religion?

“Global warming is a myth.”

HOMESCHOOL ALL YOUR HILLBILLY INBRED MOTHERFUCKERS SO THEY CAN NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ELSE…

This is why we still have racism, sexism and general human stupidity. 
Groups of radicals form communities, they teach their kids only Topic A, and that Topic A is the only thing that exists… anyone who believes Topics B through Z, are wrong (and going to hell).
It stops their ability to LEARN, to GROW and change.

-

“If you look at Creationism, you learn it is the ONLY possible answer to all the questions!” 

“Science doesn’t prove ANYTHING!” says the homeschooling mother, to her son. I am sorry the education system failed you so badly, madam… or did your parents not let you attend, either?

“Why would I send them to school, be away from them for 8 hours a day?” 
-so they can learn new things
-so they gain independance
-so someone can tell them rats-tails are so fugly
-so that they get sum lurnin’ in their noggins and don’t turn out like YOU


-

“I can go into a playground full of kids who don’t know Jesus, and in moments I can have them seeing visions of God… I can lead them to Jesus…”

Um, a) how fucking dare you approach other people’s kids wthout permission?
b) The metaphorical assumption all kids want to be taught about Jesus or ‘saved’. What if they had a religion already? Going to tell them they’re going to Hell over it? What if they decided they were atheist?
c) ‘Having visions of God/Jesus’… kind of sounds like you drugged them.
Stay the hell away from the kids.

-

The girl who keeps praying before she does ANYTHING… and keeps ‘conveying the messages of God to others’… that is not healthy.

“God just wants me to tell you…” (long rambling talk, to stranger lady who is humouring her bc what the fuck else do you do?)

The correct answer is a trip to the GP or psychologist

“I want to be a person who paints nails, so I could have someone there that I could then talk to about the word of the Lord…”
So, captive audience? You know they could walk out and tell everyone you’re nuts, yeah?

[It is annoying to be trapped omewhere and have someone start rambling about how you’re a sinner, and need to accept Jesus… I usually tell them I’ll see them in Hell, wink, and leave.]

She actually rings a lot of alarm bells, from a psychosocial assessment perspective; something else is going on for this kid.

-

The other kid who is told not to dance for fun, because if it’s not for God, it’s sinful. And believes it.

The same one who has to have a pledge of allegiance on the bible before every meal… that’s not grace, it’s like four paragraphs long.

Her mother:
“All children are on loan from God. And I said, Lord, you’ve given me this daughter, how am I supposed to train her? How am I supposed to take her to a place where she can learn these things? But the Lord told me what you have to train her in, is you have to train her in character…”
…character does not involve dancing unless it’s for God?

-

We haven’t even GOTTEN to camp yet…

[As you can tell, I have a long list of reasons I hate that this was  thing, and no matter how many times I watch it, I am still angry about it.]

-

Praying over pews (my really weird Gr 5 teacher used to pray over our individual desks every morning, it was really uncomfortable… esp when they -like he other teachers- reminded my non-Christian ass I was going to hell… detention for telling them I’d see them there, more than once).

.

“Let’s just walk out among the pews and stuff and  just pray over the seats… in the name of Jesus we just speak over every person that’s going to be sitting in these chairs this week, and Lord we just ask them to be covered with the blood of Jesus! Open Hearts, Lord! Open Hearts! Father we pray over the electrical systems, we pray the electricity will not go out in this building in Jesus’s name… because of storms or any other reasons and I just pray for this equipment. I just pray over this powerpoint presentations, all of them, video projectors, and we say Devil we KNOW what you love to do in meetings like this, and we say you WILL NOT -in Jesus’s name- you WILL NOT prevent this message from going out! No microphone problems in Jesus’s name, in the name of Jesus we SPEAK that, (babbling in something I think is meant to be Hebrew but sort of sounds more like a vocal exercise for singers when she says it).
Father we just ask you, in the name of Jesus that this will be a defining moment in their lives; Father I pray that Jesus will be glorified on this camp.”

-Weird Preacher Lady (who would probably never survive Ramadan, look at her… says I, a fat chick also). 

[…not unlike the morning, begin-class, end-class, before lunch, after-lunch, and home-time prayers f my weird cult-like private school (bf I transferred the fuck outta there)… which was why I nearly missed the bus all the time.]

-

“So we’re talking this week, about how the Devil uses tactics to destroy our lives. The first tactic that he uses, is to tempt you with sin. 
See when you first start out as a kid -cause see, that’s when all this stuff starts- see when you start out as a kid, sin just doesn’t seem ike that big of a deal…”

Well no, because they’re fucking KIDS… and should be worrying about being children, growing up, learning things and finding who they are… not worrying about apologising to some invisible old bearded guy in the sky for their existence and every second since?

Using the idea of burning alive for eternity is not a good parenting strategy?
Have you fucking HEARD of Super-Nanny?
USe a fucking NAugty Stool?!?!?!?!

“It looks kinda cute in fact, warm and fuzzy…” 

Well now you’re hurting your own cause, give me 40 of your SIN-ba the Lions Cubs… 

“…but sin is designed to destroy you. 
And you feed this baby long enough, and he’s gonna grow, in your life… until you’ve got yourself a tiger by the tail. And you don’t know which end is up, and what used to seem very innocent, now controls your life…
The Devil goes after the young… those who cannot fend for themselves, that’s why we’re trying to help you; we’re trying to warn you. 

[My favourite line from all of this mess:]

“ And while I’m on the subject, let me say something about HARRY POTTER!
Warlocks are ENEMIES OF GOD…  and I don’t care what kind of HERO they Are, they’re an ENEMY OF GOD… and had it been in the Old Testament, HArry Potter would have been PUT TO DEATH!”

Well thank fucking Christ Jesus said to ignore the Old Testament, then… huh? 

What fucking Witch or Wizard broke your heart to make you like this,you beetroot-cheeked, anti-magic galoot? 

…on the upside, it means Lucifer clearly has quite the extensive Potter library down in the Pit, so we all have something to read when we get there…

(same sermon, continued on after awkward clapping)
“YOU DON’T MAKE HEROES OUT OF WARLOCKS!”

[How about you try to fucking stop me?!]

“This is a generation that is going to stand for PURITY, and righteousness and holiness, and you’re gonna serve the Lord all the days of your life!”

…that… that sounds a lot like slavery, the way you’re pitching it, tbh.

“And we declare all those things over you! I believe this so much, that I have given my whole life to see to it, that you get there…”

CASUAL REMINDER SHE IS PREACHING TO A ROOM FULL OF CHILDREN AGED 5-15… THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO KIDS?

-\

And now, the ‘Some kids here are liars, who dare to be different kinds of people when in church… and when at school with friends (where fanaticism is generally a leading reason for ostracism), so they are Christian liars!’ gambit.

“You’re a PHONY and a HYPOCRITE!”

…well I bet the Church tithes go towards your fucking kickass car, mansion and appetite you self-righteous bitch… you are trying to deliberately emotionally destroy a room full of kids to make them pliable to your agenda. WTF is your PROBLEM?

“ You do things you shouldn’t do, you talk dirty just like all the other kids talk dirty…  And it’s time to clean up your act… come up here and get washed!”

Yes, she does indeed have a water bottle. There are kids panicking to get washed clean. There are kids in tears…

“Because we can’t have phonies in the armies of God…”

Hold up, why must you perpetually refer to these children as soldiers?
It’s really disconcerting, how are the parents not seeing this shit as dangerous?
…also, God is supposed to be a peaceful, loving dude who forgives… why does he need an army? Why children? What sins are you hiding  she-of-the-pubic-coif?

 There are kids chanting, in trances,  in tears, having physical symptoms, having convulsions, falling to the floor, freaking out, so emotionally distressed… they CANNOT cope, swaying like they’re not in this reality…

THERE IS A FIVE YEAR OLD SO DISTRESSED SHE’S BEING COMFORTED BY HER COMPLETELY IMPASSIVE MOTHER…

“Father we wash them with the water of your word! We say Devil, no more! Say it boys and girls! Name it,repent! Name it! You know what you need to be forgiven for… name it, SAY IT OUT LOUD!”

…how… 1984 of you. 
What’s next? Rat-cages? 

Oh, look, kids are being lead out one-by-one to admit what they did wrong, and then pray under scrutiny… what the fuck…

-

Finally, that bit ends.

It’s storming… hah, the original anti-storm prayer failed.
Perhaps you should have left an offering for Ororo/Storm of the X-Men. 

Kids having fun in the dorms in the dark, being kids…

In comes asshole man, telling them not to have ghost stories because “Ghost Stories don’t honour God!” 

ISN’T ONE THIRD OF THE TRINITy THE HOLY MOTHRFuKING GHOST?

-

She’s editing a powerpoint… two slides… one says SIN, th othr DEATH… the latter she’s trying to augment with a font that allows it to look as if DEATH i dripping with blood.

Hang on, back the fuck up friends… is not the entire point of your religion… that if you do right, Death is NOT to be feared? There’s an Afterlife with Heaven and the like? Why make children fear dying?
Children die everyday around the world… and you, madam would make a fucking terrible terminal/hospice-styled social worker… 

[‘Well I’m sorry Timmy… you’re going to hell when the cancer comes for you tonight. You just wouldn’t take my aggressive religious propoganda to heart what with all this false-optimism and ‘enjoying your time remaining’ nonsense you keep pulling instead of reading the Bible and this book on Creationism I keep leaving here after every visit…’ 
Okay but seriously there are religious assholes who volunteer at services/hospitals for the terminally ill, and try to bully the patients into converting (to ‘save their souls’) which in no way takes into account the patients needs or care… it’s self-righteous nonsense and if I hear any of you are pulling this stunt… you’d better start running now.]

PUNISHMENT FOR SIN IS DEATH

…and the punishment for a good, sinless life is ALSO death… what is your POINT here? She feels very technosavvy having mastered three slides… it’s kind of sad to look at.

-

“This generation,  particularly is a sight-and-sound generation… and so it’s very difficult for them to sit down with a book and a tablet and pencil and try to learn the way we’ve learned. ”

Alright, so if we’re the can’t-sit-still-to-learn generation… all of us, in a giant, genderless lump… what’s your generation? The bigoted, can’t-work-out-my-email-without-help-from-previously-ragged-on-younger-generation-member’s-help generation?

I just… why do adults perpetually do this.

She’s holding a fucking Barbie and Ken ‘Adam and Eve’ set… this is her version of Engagement. Try a laser pointer and some pixie sticks, it’ll get them moving…

“ They learn VISUALLY, They learn by demonstration…”
(shifts Ken!Adam and Barbie!Eve about to show them off). 

Oh god, she’s using a fucking balloon to symbolise God breathing ‘the breath of life’ into Ken!Adam’s nostrils… this hurts… she’s so SERIOUS…

“I tell the kids, ‘If you want to become a better Christian and have your spirit-man be STRONG, there’s certain things you need to do.. if you pray everyday…’” (pauses to blow balloon up more, it is our spirit apparently) “ ‘your spirit man will get stronger. If you go to church  and learn more about God…’” (more balloon blowing up), “ ‘your spirit is going to get stronger!’”

She now tarts to let the balloon deflate via the classy fart-iculation methodology. To emphasise what happens if you don’t read the bible, go to church or pray… which equal a weak-spirit-man…

For people who claim that transpeople don’t exist, she sure goes on about having spirit-men inside us… we’re all secretly dudes on the inside, huh? 
Et tu, hypocritus.

-

She has an arsenal of silly crap… I would misuse them all to be pro-sin…

STICKY-HANDS MEANS SWEAR WORDS AND DIRTY THINGS SEEN ON TV….

Okay, her views on how kids’ minds work are hella offensive; like they’re idiots that can only be taught by shitty analogies. I would fight her. Immediately. 

-

During the morning grace, the man with the queerest voice I have ever heard (possibly on a pray-the-gay-away plan with the church) said the following to a room full of kids:

“And Lord Jesus we plead your blood over our sins and the sins of our nation. God end abortion, and send revival to America! Thank you Jesus, amen!”

…sir… sir I think you have some other things you may want to discover about yourself if you took a moment and put the religious propaganda aside… 
Also, WHO THE FUCK BRINGS ABORTION INTO MORNING GRACE OVER BREAKFAST IN A ROOM FULL OF KIDS WHO HAVE NO SEX ED OTHER THaN ‘you’ll find out on your wedding night’?!

Not only that, but it’ not the first prayer, either. “Let’s pray again!” he shouts over the room. Some of the kids are trying desperately to eat in-between the never-fuckin-ending graces and prayers… let them eat, you dickbag. 

-

Ah, rat-tail boy is now preaching rising up with all your heart.

What if… I rose up and dealt with your rat-tail, son?  What does the Lord think on that one?

-

Oh, it’s ‘fun-time’ now… but like, why the ominous threat of ‘being different people after tonight’? that sounds like…  something very disturbing.

“How many of you want to be those who give up your lives for Jesus?” says the fat dude who probs wouldn’t give up his third burger to a starving homeless orphan. 

What fun?

They’re SMASHING CUPS WITH HAMMERS.

“we’re going to break the power of the government! They came to your schools and they took Jesus OUT of your schools… but what they couldn’t do is take Jesus out of your hearts!” 

So your plan is to smash shit… because you are upset that school chose logic over fables? Um, okay, but anyone else who tried that sort of mindset, gets eithe th naughty stool or arrested. Great conflict-resolution ideas.

The ‘Holy Ghost Hammer’ smashing ceramic cups of sin… you couldn’t just play musical chairs? 

Kids making proclamations before smashing cups.

ALL THE CUPS HAVE GOVERNMENT ShITTILY WRITTEN ON THEM, PICELESS.

The chanting and swaying is back… kids are crying… one little dude on the floor seems to be having convulsions… little kids are highly distressed…

They’re breaking Satan’s power over the government.

Oh, girls out the front are trying to use the Force. Someone keeps screaming JESUS, kids are crying… oh look, trance states… 

“Unlike Mcdonalds, this isn’t about how fast you can go through the drive-through, you gotta cook a little!” 
o… what you’re saying is you’re hungry right now and making shitty analogies based on food fantasies happening in your head rn? It happens to the best of us… but REALLY?

GOD I A HAMBURGER, MY FRIENDS, you heard it here first.

I GIVE YOU A HAMBURGER.
THE CUIL THEORY.

-

Fat dude: “GOD TOUChED YOU TONIGHT, I WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT!” 
Sir… sir, I’m going to need to see your Working With Children Permit… NOW.

-

Kids are back to wardancing. There’s camo paint on their faces.

How are parents okay with this?!

She’s screaming THIS MEANS WAR over and over, empowering small children to kill for God.

-

Rat-tail boy says, “Whenever I run into a non-Christian, there’s alwayssomething that doesn’t eem right about them…” 
No offence son, but you look like your parents were related and can’t seem to make a sentence without including God, Jesus or Christian in it… they’re probably more concerned about whether you’re going to flip out and shoot everyone in the name of the Lord… 

-

Okay, so… why are Rat-tail boy one and Rat-tail boy 2 wandering around, alone, in caves (with camera crew, but they are not registered guardians) without proper camp counsellor supervision?

-

Oh god, I forgot this part…

SO THEY HAVE THIS CARDBOARD CUT-OUT OF GEORGE W BUSH… and they treat it like he’s alive and there. Encouraged to talk to him.

“Welcome President Bush, we’re glad you’re here” kids chorus.at the prompting of this wrinkly old lady who looks like she missed Jesus’s call only by shear fact that her hearing aids weren’t on at the time (and she can’t work her new-fangled voicemail).

They’re blessing Mr Bush now, and she’s encouraging them to run around touching him… because he is Jesus’s avatar in parliament. 

Now she’s encouraging them to point at the cutout and remind him, “Mr President, it’s ONE NATION UNDER GOD!” 

-

Night.

The Part I Hate Most.

The Pro-Life, I’ve-Never-Taken-Biology-In-My-Life asshole, speaker.

Who the FUCK invites an anti-abortion avocate to a CHILDREN’S CAMP? 

WHO?! No one Normal?!

Most of these kids are young, and the rest have never received roper sexual education… they’re just fed ‘it’s a mummy/daddy thing’ and ‘all life is sacred/starts at conception’ crap… even if they have no concept what conception is. Most never get the heads up on periods or puberty, either, becauese it’s somehow shameful…

But this guy, I actually want to physically fight.

Why?

So here he is… he’s wearing a red t-shirt with a hand-written ‘LIFE’ on it.
Note: he’s a dude. Easy for him to be o anti-abortion/pro-life… he just has to ejaculate and his part is over… 

Everything he says, with actions:

“I’m really excited to be here tonight, I usually talk to big people, but tonight I gedda talk to probably the most important generation in American History. Whoa! And I’m not just joking, where’s the young man? The young man with the long-hair?”
(looking for Rat-tail boy in audience) 
“Come here son. Stand right with me, what’s your name?”
[Rat-tail boy: Levi]
“Levi? Wow that’s a great name, Levi… you like Levi’s name?”
[Audience agrees]

“Here’s the deal, before you were born… God knew you. Extraordinary, he said this, ‘he said he formed you in your mother’s womb’…”

Spoiler Alert: Most of the kids don’t know what a womb IS, asshole. No proper sex ed other than abstinence-only. 

“You’re not just a piece of protoplasm…”

[Apparently he watched ghostbusters instead of taking biology?]

“…whatever that is…”

[Cute, but we know you watched Ghostbusters, motherfucker, too late to back out now.]

“…not just a piece of tissue in your mother’s womb. You were created intimately, by God…”

[So uh, apparently the whole sex thing is a shame and reproduction as we know it is a lie… gonna do it anyway, but hey, God’s making all the babies from here-on-out]

(Keeps making creepy faces at audience, supposed to be clownish to engage the children… comes off ‘I will take you behind the shed-ish’. Not a joke, creepy)

“Isn’t that incredible?”

[Yeah, actually, incredible, un-credible… impossible given how the human body actually works, your words…]

“God wrote a book about your life, and he wrote… ‘Levi, Levi would be a god-seeker from an early age and he would become a voice that touched America. And he would not sell-out, in his teenaged years, he would go for God all those days and he would be a man of prayer and in his twenties he’d begin to shake things real strong for God within the nation. God’s dream -the novel of Levi’s life!- signed, God.’ “

[I don’t know where to start… planning out the kid’s life… telling him not to ell out when the speaker and preachers are all evangelists with fancy clothes/cars/houses and their followers are poor (wonder how that happened), the fact this reads like a letter I once got from an unmedicated, delusional, god-fearing friend before she ended up re-admitted for her own safety…]

“What do you think of that? Pretty cool, huh? You’re pretty cool!
Now listen to me you guys, since 1973 up to 50 million babies never had a chance to fulfil the dreams God had for them before they had a chance to live their lives. That sad, isn’t it…?”

[So… just abortions… or do we count the children dying all oer the world everyday?
What about infants who are carried to term and killed at birth by gvernmental iofficials in China and similar places? What about the mothers in Africa and India who are foribly sterilised after a certain number of children and left to die of infection?
What about the baby girls of China, of India, of Africa, of many impoverished or war-ravaged countries where their worth is not seen as great as that of a male child, who are killed at birth or abandoned? The mass female infanticide that has thrown off the population figures, because they cannot be fed, or are seen as a burden… and the girls who ARE rescued and placed in orphanages face, dim, awful lives in poor coditions… those ones are counted, yes?

Oh, wait, no… you’re talking about the handful of women/transmen/agender persons and young teenaged uterus-havers who have had an abortion for any reason whatsoever. 
Well fuck you, sir… you will never know the complex situation of being pregnant when you do not want to be, and those people DID. Some of them maybe even wanted to be pregnant but had to have medical abortions for their own safety/health… pregnancy is incredibly dangerous.

AND, in America, it’s super-expensive.

‘Give it up for adoption’ doesn’t count… unless you have a family lined up and waiting, who will pay the medical fees… it’s not feasible for some people? And what if baby isn’t the perfect little bundle of joy? Adopters will find some other pregnant teen with a healthy/perfect baby, and leave you with a child whose needs couldn’t have been met even if they were born as average as any inant.

Those teen mums that your kind always bitch about anyway, demanding they stop being sluts or get jobs… where you would once have talked them into having the infant over abortion… now baby is here, you couldn’t give a damn about it!
The theoretical child, the cluster of cells in a uterus you do not possess or have ownership of, is more important to pro-lifers than the resulting child. It’s so paradoxical it boggles the mind. 
Not to mention, abusers can often use pregnancy to trap a female/uterus-having partner into remaining in the relationship; a biological tether, as it were. Or maybe they have six kids already, and he won’t gt a vasectomy… but (as a controlling arse) won’t let her have a hysterectomy as it’s against god’s law… but she’s over having kids. Maybe it was rape or incest or something horribly traumatic.
Maybe it’s medical. Financial. Or maybe they just don’t want to be pregnant.

And, it’s the damndest thing but… that’s their fucking right as sentient human beings with bodily autonomy. Babies are medically, parasitical creatures… they form inside the host and steal nutrients; like any parasite; this can cause detriment to the host, which occasionally results in necessary termination.
There are a lot of factors to consider… or not, because if you don’t have a uterus, you don’t really have a right to say anything about it. It’s that simple????]

THE ChILDREN ARE cONFUSED AND UPSET

“…you know a third of your friends could be here tonight, but they didn’t make it…”

[Um, alright… where to start?
1 in 20 fertilised eggs form correctly/start cell division in a manner that might form into an embryo. The majority(19/20) end up flushed out in a period, and miscarriages happen all the time -which a lot of Pro-Lifers like to use as evidence that a mother was sinful or undeserving, the vultures.
Two, how the fuck are they friends if they are hypothetical?  They could be the next Hitler/Donald Trump, that was thankfully remove as a cluster of microscopic cells? How dare you pull this on kids?]

OUT COME THE BIOLOGICALLY INACCURATE EMBRYOS... NEWSFLASH, MOTHERFUCKER, we don’t start out as microscopic fully-formed babies that enlarge over 9 months and the fact you are knowingly perpetuating this bullshit is just sad.

“A person’s a person, no matter how small…”

Look at this bullshit:

.

“God has a dream for them, like he has a dream for you.
You ee that? It’s kind of awesome! Look at that! Seven weeks old!”

Fully-formed baby at 7 weeks:

.

“Tonight, I believe, something is gonna start tonight that is gonna change America. Seriously, kids I believe that you are the beginnings of a movement that can raise up in moral outcry and overthrow abortion in America. Would you like to be a part of that kind of company?” 

Kids delightedly cheering. All attempts to teach them biology in future will fail. 
[I wonder how super-religious pro-life couples cope during their first sonograms… 
‘Um, where’s the baby?’ 
‘Ma’am, that is your baby, it’s only 8 weeks, though.’
‘No, it’s supposed to be a baby…?’ demands the father. ‘What is this thing?!’
Sonographer stares at ceiling bc they are sick of re-educating pro-lifers… gets out set of biologically accurate fetus moulds. ‘Okay, so when conception starts…’]

NOW hE PULLS OUT ALL THE STOPS… This is the part I disagree with most… to get them to show their dedication to not having abortions/allowing others to have abortions… he, creepy pro-life dude, pulls out RED DUCT TAPE.

What does he do with it? Scrawls ‘LIFE’ on a piece with a permanent marker, and then starts slapping them over the mouths of children.

HOW IS THAT OKAY?!

.

[children and pedo pro-life man:] “JESUS I PLEAD YOUR BLOOD OVER MY SINS, AND THE SINS OF MY NATION, GOD END ABORTION! AND SEND REVIVAL TO AMERICA!”

They repeat it louder.

And the girl (pictured above, weird needs-a-psych eval girl) starts shouting they need Blood, Blood, God demands Blood….

After a lot of chanting about Abortion is sin… the fat preacher lady returns:

“You made a covenant with God, tonight, that you’re gonna ray to end abortion in America. Don’t take that lightly, don’t be a promise-breaker, on’t be a promise-breaker… be a history-maker.”

Wow, fuck, they’re all kids and you lay THAT on them!

-

Magically fully-formed from conception fetus + pro-life/anti-abortion band:

These kids are so brainwashed it’ll take years to iron out the kinks.

Oh, and I was right, JUST AMERICA.

Screw the people in the other countries, it only matters if uterus-havers in america (people with their own minds, rights and sentience) dare to choose not to be pregnant or cease being pregnant for whatever reason…

How dare you (a bonafide human being with needs and a future) offend a bearded dude in the sky who may, or may not even exist…  by choosing to exercise your right to bodily autonomy?!

-

And then they go on to watch an evangelist in a mega-church (who clearly is far richer than his poor congregation… hmmm, wonder where he got all that money?), he talks to rat-tail boy.  
Rat-tail boy and some others LEAVE The ChURCH CAMP with Pro-Life dude (and seriously where are the halth and safety people on this, he could just take them anywhere? He can just check out kids like library books for any purpose? Are the parents aware?)  to go protest abortion in the snow, highly inefectively. 

Then cut back to preacher-lady talking about the success that the camp was, proud of herself, etc.

A memo that the camp was investigated and shut down for child-related abuse/issues after this was shot. And that fat preacher lady clearly continued to do youth-based preaching after anyway. 

-

END OF JESUS CAMP: BRAINWASHiNG THE YOUTH

We made it to the end, Fam. 

Say Yes

Member : Hansol / Vernon

Genre : is this even angst enough? lol

Words : 3184 

P.S. : I did not proofread bc i’m lazy and I might cringe at my work, sorry.

Your name: submit What is this?

   It has been months, weeks after the news came out to the public. “The once ‘lovable’ young couple decided to broke things off”. He’d always find himself snickering at the headline title once it appeared in every celebrity news article; how ironic for them to receive that kind of title when he found out their relationship were criticized badly by people, mostly were fans of the group he belongs to.

   He remembered saying that he would protect you from everything, but it was only an empty promise that he did not fulfill when you were on the brink of losing it. He blames himself; he beats himself up for not being reliable, always focused more on promoting their group when he did not notice you were filled with hate from the public.

   And even though he was still participating actively in every performances and fan meeting, it was all just a facade. His hyungs knew he was faking his emotions in front of them. After all of their schedule, he would just stay up alone in the room, on his bed with earphones adorning his ears. He was too quiet and the other members are worried.

   He mostly skipped meals, does not participate in most of the games that his hyungs would make in their dorm. At first they understand his need of being alone after you break it off with him, but it has been months and he’s still not moving on.

   They tried to contact you, to fix your relationship with him but they were unable to do so. All they receive is your old voicemail, all he receives is just your old voicemail. He had tried to contact you at first and from there he had figured out that you already changed your number. There are times where he would just go out in the middle of the night, and the members would think that he might just go out to buy his own food, but in reality he’s pacing around the Han river, hoping to find you there.

   But he failed to do so as fatigue would come up to him, and he would be forced to go home and just eat the leftovers that his hyungs left for him, each night.

   He barely say anything, only responding if it was his turn to wash the dishes or deliver the laundry at the nearby laundry shop. but other than that, he would just be with himself. He would always play a song in his phone, more likely just a romantic playlist for the two of you that somehow became a bittersweet one for him.

   He would imagine your voice, how you sang along to the lyrics and he would just be mesmerized. But now it only filled his eyes with tears; useless tears that wouldn’t make you come back to him. He was desperate to find you, to see you and just hold you close.

   But he can’t. He’s afraid to see you at the same time, wondering if there’s someone who’s already filled his space, who will spend more time with you, and the one you will rely onto. He’s afraid that he would still be in love with you when you already started to move on from him.

   And the only thing that you left for him was only memories that you might forget when you find someone much better than him. Much like the box that he received upon the doorstep of their dorm, that was now hidden underneath his bed and was remained unopen. He already knew what would be inside the box which are the polaroids you’ve taken after reaching a milestone in your relationship before, and that specific necklace that he made for you from the jewelry shop where their rings was also made.

   Knowing that it would just hurt him once he revealed the things, he rather just hide it. He had enough tears to spill, trying to reach you when he know you don’t want to anymore. He’d always bottle up his feelings but there would be that time where he would just feel so weak of keeping it all.

   From the outside of the room, only a few remained in the household, the older ones were out to seek you and talk to you about and the others are supervising Hansol, in case he needs some medical care since he hadn’t ate that much these past few days.

   The older ones were trying to contact you, in case you pick up but they were still unfortunate. Pacing around the park and the other places you’ve been before, they were desperate to find you before he faint from being too physically weak. Although it wasn’t their business to meddle into your past relationship, they were deeply worried about Hansol.

   The night has arrived and they were still unable to find you, they were too tired from pacing around the area in the city the whole afternoon. They gave up and went back to their dorm, and once they entered the younger ones ask if they have succeeded to which they respond with shaking their heads.

   Seungcheol’s phone quickly vibrated in his pocket, to which he dug as fast as possible, hoping that it was you who answered. But unluckily, it was their staff telling him to prepare everyone for tonight’s dinner, it was their manager’s treat but they would not join them nor the staffs.

   They tried to talk to Hansol, about going out for a dinner to which he declined, still wanting to be alone for the time. It was still no use for them to convince him to go out of the room and was reminded to catch up later or else he’d be kicked out of the room and will be forced to sleep on the couch for a week. But his only respond was a nod before glancing back at his phone again.

                                                           *          *          *

   You never believed in long distance relationship, that was one of the reasons why you broke it off with him months ago. Apart from the continuous criticism of the fans about you, which had made you insecure and such, you were forced to go to Europe by that time by your family. You have no choice but to complied to them. But you never informed your ex-boyfriend about your sudden leave from South Korea.

   You left the country in tears a few months ago, but now that it was winter and the fact that your family would take a vacation to Korea, you were suddenly feared going back, afraid that you might see him again after a long time.

   You knew their group has risen to fame all of a sudden, and probably you would’ve think that he was more focused into his career as of this moment. Maybe he moved on already.

   "eve, let’s go.“ Your mom called out your attention as your family gathered all of the luggages in two trolleys, you moved out of the airport. You adjusted your coat and the beanie on your head before stepping out in the harsh cold weather in the country.

   You definitely missed the country, but not the memories that seemed to come back when you arrived to South Korea moments ago. And the fact that your family chose to stay on some hotel in Seoul instead of your aunt’s house located at the outskirts of the city. There was still a bit of fear inside you, that someone would still bash you even if you have no connection to their idols anymore.

   You have changed your hair into a lighter color, overlay with purple streaks and the length was up to your shoulders, the only thing that would keep you hidden is when you put a mask. But that was the only thing that has changed, nothing major.

   Soon you have reached your destination, unpacking the luggages from the car as you have suddenly realized that the hotel your parents booked in was near the cafe that holds the memories of your first date, and the anniversaries that came before. You quickly blinked the tears away as you and your family proceed in the hotel.

   Your family has no information of your past relationship until the news came out, and you only told the news of your break up when you’ve landed in Europe. They knew the struggle of having a relationship like yours, so they did force you to leave the country so you won’t be bothered by the criticism.

   But they do not know the places you’ve spent with him before, and therefore have no idea about that certain cafe where the memories was made between you and him, and that certain necklace. It wasn’t with you when you left, because you put it in the box you’ve left in their dorm.

   You were blaming yourself for not being good enough to withstand the hate, and leaving him broken. You’ve regretted for not talking it out and just breaking it off, even though it hurt your feelings, it was harder for him. You never received any news from them since you distance yourself from the news about kpop online.

   And now you lie on the bed in the hotel room, staring blankly at the ceiling as you were waiting for your parents before going out on a dinner. You already have masked on your face once your family were ready to go out, probably finding some good restaurants nearby since they haven’t been in the country for so long.

   "Do you any good places, eve?” your mom asked as all of you were walking by the sidewalk. You can’t say no since you’ve lived in Seoul longer than them, and the fact that they didn’t know that you already dined in most of the restaurants in the city with him before.

   You only nodded in response as you ask them to follow you, there’s this one restaurant that you’ve enjoyed dining in before, and pretty sure you’ve been missing to eat their popular dishes again.

   Soon you and your family have settled in, checking on the menus and such as you already told them your usual order in that restaurant. You were looking around, seeing a waiter approaching your table with a tray of tea set. Setting on the table, the waiter asked for the orders as you took off your mask, wanting to drink the hot beverage until you suddenly glanced behind his figure to see familiar faces by the next table. And you’ve almost spat out the tea from your mouth when one of them looked at you straight in the eye.

   "eve?“ Seungkwan called your name out loud, disturbing the nearby customers of the restaurant as you tried to put on your mask again. Your family glanced between you and the other boys at the neighboring table as you quickly excused yourself from the table. You wanted to escape the restaurant at the moment, in fear that he’s also with them, somewhere.

   But the rest of the members quickly blocked the pathway you’re going to take. "We’ve been trying to contact you for so many times!” Seungcheol spoke as he stands in front of you. “Can we talk privately?”

   "But Seungche–“

   "Come on eve, he’s not doing well at all.” he responded, “We’ve tried everything, but he barely eats, or interact with us.”

   You sigh, “Can you give me a few days?”

   "Isn’t a few months enough for you to know what you’re going to say to him?“ Seungcheol replied.

   "I’m not prepared at all.” you told him honestly. But then he quickly paced towards your family’s table, introducing himself as Hansol’s brother and asking for permission to take you somewhere. But your family nod yes before you can even say no, and now you found yourself dragged out of the restaurant.

   You tried to take his grip off your wrist, “Please Seungcheol, i’m still not ready to face him!”

   "Then when? When he’s already confined in a hospital? Come on, do us a favor to bring back the old him.“ he pleaded, crossing the street before arriving at a nearby building which was unfamiliar to you.

   "You changed dorms?” you were shocked, knowing that you still have made nothing up in your mind when you face your ex-boyfriend again.

   he replied, “Recently, yes.” You tried to pull out once you stood at the lobby, near the staircase but still he’s holding tight on your arms. You squealed when he carry you off to his shoulders and went up the staircase.

   "I’m still not prepared, please.“ You begged, but it was no use until you were put down, facing the door of their dorm. You found him fumbling on his pockets, looking for some keys but was unable to find it.

   "Ahh, jinjja!” by the time he sighed, the door was suddenly pulled open by no other but Hansol. Your eyes were nowhere but on the ground, looking at your shoes as there was an eerie silence between you three, soon you spotted Seungcheol moving to the side, “I’ll leave you two to talk.” and he was out of the floor and you glanced at him waving at you goodbye before the elevator door closes.

   "You’re here.“ you heard Hansol whispered in disbelief. You only nodded in response, but still avoiding his stare as your eyes wandered on the patterned floor, and his red shoes. And in a few moments he suddenly hugged you, tightly as if he never wanted to let you go. You arms stayed limp on your sides, and you felt him releasing breathes near your neck which made you shiver.

   "Look, I… uhh. I don’t know what to say,” you trailed off, distancing yourself from him but his hands seemed to be intact with your fore arms. You finally looked at him, a snapback adorning his head and he’s pale from your vision, his appearance looked rather off… like he had lost weight. “I was basically forced here–”

   "You don’t have to say anything, you’re here with me and–“ you cut him off.

   "And I’m not going to stay, if that’s what you’re thinking. I mean, I have studies abroad and stuff.” you confirmed, to which he looked at you in confusion.

   "So you were never here in Seoul when I attempted to contact you? I’ve spent many nights trying to find you in places that we’ve been, hoping to see you once again.“ he spoke, his mouth wide open in disbelief that you have never told him about you studying outside the country.

   You replied, "I’m sorry for not informing you.”

   "Is that why you broke up with me?“ he suddenly dropped the question, the one he might have been dying to know the answer.

   "Honestly, yes. Me leaving the country was one of the reasons.” you nodded your head in the process, “But I know you know the main reason why I did… break up with you.”

    “Yes, I do. But i’m still hoping … that,” he trailed off, hinting what he wanted with you.

    “You know it won’t work, it’ll be just like old times.” you said.

    “But I will do everything to protect you.” he reasoned out to you, eyes glistening with hope that you’d still stay with him. “We can make this relationship private as long as you want.”

   "We can’t if we keep talking out here.“ you sarcastically replied as he quickly glanced around for anyone on the floor, he knew that the walls were soundproof enough in this apartment complex.

    Without any word, he pulled you inside their dorm, taking off his shoes that he previously worn before he found you at the door. You also took off yours before proceeding in their living room. "We can, um, sit here. Do you want any drink?” he asked.

    “Water would be fine.” you said before he went to the kitchen. Soon he went back and gave you a glass of water. “Thank you.”

    You both fell into a deep silence, but it wasn’t too long before he took the step to ask you, “D-Do you still… well,” he stammered in front of you.

    “I don’t do 'long-distance’ relationship, Hansol.” you replied, “And i’m still afraid that if we continue this, someone would just find out and I would be hated again. I don’t want that.”

    “We won’t know what would really happen unless we try, eve.” he told you, reaching for your hands to interlock it with his. You’d be lying if you still deny your feelings towards him this time, it was like falling for the first time. “Please don’t let me go. ” he desperately begged, staring intently onto your eyes.

    “I-I don’t know.” you stuttered.

    “Please stay, eve.” and he placed your hands intertwined with him towards his chest, over where his heart was beating fast as of this moment. “I love you.”

    You suddenly teared up, “I’m sorry Hansol, but I need some time, some space to think. I can’t just jump back into this relationship when i’m going to face all the criticism.” you sobbed, feeling weak at the moment. Your heart was choosing to stay with him, but somewhat your mind was thinking of the things that would happen again like before, that almost made you suffer emotionally.

   "I will do anything just to have you back again, you know. Even if quitting.“ he reasoned out, to which you shook your head.

   "You can’t sacrifice your career, come on Hansol.”

   "But to have you back would be so much better.“ he replied, his palm resting upon your cheeks as his thumbs wiped the tears away from your face. His voice cracking in the process as he tried not to break down in front of you.

    Your hands soon holds his, still intact on your face as you caress his hands with your thumb. "I would be lying if I said I don’t love you anymore, but can you give me space for awhile.” you requested. He knew the word awhile would be a long time.

    “I would wait for you, you know.” he whispered, smiling even if you won’t stay with him this time.

    You sighed, “Will you manage to wait long? What if it takes me years?”

    “Just trust me.” he reassured you, “Can I kiss you? One last time?” he shyly asked, but was still feeling depressed. You only nodded in response and soon his lips met yours, the feelings is still the same, much like how you two first fell in love with each other before; it was magical.

    But you firstly leaned away, breaking the kiss. A small smile appeared on both of your faces. It may be a bittersweet feeling but for surely both of you won’t miss that chance. “Will you promise me something?” you asked to him.

   "What is it?“

   "Be yourself again; don’t starve yourself, go interact with your hyungs, for sure they misses you. Okay?” and he nodded, still smiling.

    “I promise, eve.”

you guys can keep sending me more prompts or choose here!

snowflakehyojin-deactivated2016  asked:

!! Prince!woozi !! It will kill me but !!!

I wasn’t as fond of this one but hope you like anyway!!


  • He’s actually quite a lot like Prince!Suga
  • 100% sure they’re part of the same royal family XD
  • He’s extremely cold looking most of the time 
  • And very straightforward and blunt
  • So he’s slightly feared by the subjects
  • However he actually has this adorable, ridiculous side
  • He just doesn’t show it often bc people need to understand - when he’s in work mode (aka 99% of the time) he doesn’t have time to be nice and have fun!!
  • Nah jk if you get to know him he can be surprisingly sweet
  • No one understands him bc he’s forever sleepy and stays up working all the time but despite the lack of sleep he gets so much done to a high standard.
  • Omg his clothes
  • He looks good but there’s meaning to all of his clothes
  • For example his dress shoes that have such high heels that they’re almost women’s shoes
  • All he wants is to look taller
  • He also likes to wear those long coats and robes - the white ones with all the gold embroidery and the epaulettes and stuff?
  • He especially likes how they sweep behind him on the floor (even though it makes them a hell to clean)
  • It gives him a sense of power and authority
  • He’ll wear white suits underneath and they’re always so crisp and clean
  • Top that off with the golden crown he wears every day bc he’s a proud man
  • He’s extremely conscious and mindful of his appearance, in short
  • He just feels that as a prince, it’s his responsibility to give a good image
  • He doesn’t realize he’s naturally beautiful I mean
  • Beautiful <3 (that pose tho XD)
  • On rare/special occasions he’ll wear a black or grey suit and holy shit he should more often that’s all I’m saying
  • Thank you high quality image
  • look at his hands holy shit he really is a little suga
  • Anyway
  • He stays in the castle most of the time, only going out if he really must
  • When he does go out he generally looks stoic and uninterested so people tend to stay away
  • But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care
  • Like once he saw a homeless family outside 
  • He felt really bad for them and gave them a proper meal 
  • Aka feast wow
  • And a little place to live near the castle
  • Bc he’s very rich and actually very sweet
  • He does a lot of speaking at meetings and gets involved in whatever he can like he isn’t ruler yet but he has quite a bit of control and influences many big decisions
  • He’s extremely passionate about what he does
  • It’s so admirable
  • Right so in his spare time he likes to read
  • Like A LOT
  • The royal library is kinda just his library
  • No one else really goes in there
  • You’re hired to keep the books in good condition and keep them organized and stuff
  • He really loves the classics
  • Like he reads a lot of Shakespeare and shit
  • At first he’d only go in there every few nights before bed, maybe like once a week
  • But then he actually got his nose out of the books and noticed you
  • His first thoughts were ‘she’s cute’
  • And it was unfamiliar to him bc he’s never really liked anyone properly before
  • Like one day you were sat behind your desk reading Hamlet and like he’s been reading Hamlet
  • He just feels this connection suddenly
  • So suddenly he goes there every night
  • He stays there for like 2 hours
  • And there are so many places to sit but no
  • He chooses to sit as close to you as he possibly could without giving himself away immediately
  • Cute
  • He’s so calm and cold all the time but around you…
  • One foot in that library and he’s a shy blushy mess
  • And half of the time he isn’t even reading
  • He’s glancing over at you when you’re not looking (almost all the time) thinking you don’t notice
  • Every time he does he’s ever got this soft, thoughtful smile or this wide, admiring grin
  • And you do notice
  • You have no idea how anyone could possible be scared of him bc omg is he adorable
  • Besides checking you out he also spends a lot of time wondering how he could approach you and speak to you
  • He’s 19 but has never been in love or dated or anything
  • He’s never really known girls
  • So he decides to turn to his best friend Soonyoung (who is also his archery teacher ayyyy)
  • They spend like a week coming in for hours at a time and planning everything out
  • They’re not subtle about it
  • They do it all in the fucking library
  • At a table kinda close to you
  • In earshot, anyway
  • But he’s trying so hard and it’s so cute so you feign ignorance
  • This prince who generally knows everything and is good at everything is getting nervous and doesn’t know how to approach you
  • How can someone be so freaking lovable?!
  • One night, Friday, just as he planned, he comes in and goes straight to your desk
  • Notice he’s wearing his highest shoes
  • And his black suit
  • He’s left his crown off too
  • He thinks it makes him more approachable and casual looking
  • You put the book you were reading down to give him your full attention
  • And once your eyes meet his his little smile disappears and he freezes and he’s stuttering
  • He’s getting really flustered and blushing and it’s the cutest thing
  • ‘Hi, Sir Jihoon. Can I help you?’
  • ‘Um - I just - Hamlet?’
  • He has like no game and you can’t help but giggle
  • Cue Soonyoung face palming behind the large plant he’s hiding behind
  • ‘You’re really cute’
  • You drop the formalities because as soon as you said ‘sir’ before his nose scrunched
  • And even though he was already getting embarrassed you could tell it displeased him
  • Anyway you’re trying to take control 
  • He does not look happy when you call him cute either
  • ‘Hey, I’m not cute. I’m badass.’
  • He puffs out his chest and tries to look confident whilst he mentally curses himself but you aren’t buying it
  • ‘Oh, ok cutie.’
  • ‘Shut up. You-’
  • He’s bright red by this point as he tries to compliment you
  • ‘You’re way cuter
  • He mumbles it and all the words kinda just string together but you understand
  • And now it’s begun
  • Like he seems a lot more comfortable already when you respond with a kinda flirty smile
  • You’re actually very intrigued and confused bc even before speaking to each other, you were seeing the side of this “uptight” prince that just about no one else saw
  • ‘Jihoon, I’m guessing you didn’t come here to talk to me about Hamlet.’
  • ‘No… but you’re j-just so pretty it was hard for me to-to find my words.’
  • He keeps stuttering 
  • He’s surprising you bc you can tell it’s hard for him to give compliments and stuff but here he is being a sweet lil muffin
  • ‘Oh really? Thank you…’
  • Great now you’re getting shy too
  • You’re both just smiling and blushing as you both struggle to overcome this sudden shyness you share
  • ‘So your name is Y/N, right?’
  • He’s giving you this fond smile and trying to lighten up the kinda tense atmosphere
  • The way he’s looking at you is making you MELT
  • ‘Yeah’
  • ‘Even your name is pretty.’
  • I swear he is bad for the heart he’s that sweet
  • ‘Um… so do you… maybe… wanna go out sometime? Tomorrow’s Saturday and I know you like to go out on Saturday mornings, so…’
  • He’s getting embarrassed again and hiding his face and you’re just like
  • Wow omg how does he know this
  • You’d find it creepy but there’s nothing creepy about him he is such a cinnamon bun
  • You agree in a heartbeat
  • Like how could you say no
  • How could anyone say no like please
  • He winks at you then he cringes 
  • You’re trying not to faint
  • Suddenly he runs out and Soonyoung pops out and you can see them through the window leading out to the corridor
  • They’re jumping around and screaming “SHE SAID YES!! SHE SAID YES!!’
  • Turns out he’s a huge dork, and you love it

I loved writing this he’s such a cute lil thing inside and I just can’t XDD Hope the fluff makes up for the upcoming angst which will be Jeonghan ;)

-Admin Belle

anonymous asked:

RIARKLE WITH "You know you are in love when the two of you can go grocery shopping together." PLEASE

okay i have way too much material for this one so we’re gonna headcanon it out babe this is gonna be hella long prepare yourself i’m so sorry

  • so riley and farkle have been dating since their junior year of high school right
  • and now they’re in college and riley is at harvard for english and women’s studies and farkle is at mit for biological engineering with a minor in planetary studies fight me on this
  • and they survived their freshman year perfectly okay and they saw each other all the time bc the campuses are close but like it wasn’t enough
  • it’s a 20 minute walk from mit to harvard and it was just too far for these lil babes they’re so in love i cry
  • so they get an apartment together in the fall
  • it’s a little closer to mit than harvard bc farkle’s labs usually start at 8am and it’s never fun to start the day off with a 20 minute walk while carrying a ton of books and lab equipment
  • riley’s cool with it tho bc the apartment they found has a lil courtyard and she likes doing her reading there
  • so they both still have meal plans at their respective schools bc sometimes they’re running between classes and just don’t have the time to make a packed lunch in the morning or go back to the apartment
  • but they always keep food in their fridge and bring back take out from their dining halls
  • and then midterms hit
  • let me tell you
  • it’s disastrous
  • the floors are covered with crumpled notebook pages and somehow there are highlighter marks on the walls??????
  • riley’s reading two novels a day
  • farkle says chemical equations in his sleep
  • riley literally forces him out on the couch one night bc she can’t take it anymore she’s gotta memorize shakespeare’s soliloquies not the periodic table omfg
  • it’s all school all the time and they barely remember to talk to each other let alone eat
  • but the week ends and riley is finally done!!!! she has finished her last midterm!!!! hallelujah!!!!
  • she comes home and she’s like “i’m going to have cold spaghetti and lots of ice cream and chocolate and i’m going to watch that pluto documentary again bc i am FREE
  • but she gets home
  • and opens the fridge
  • and nothing’s there.
  • absolutely. nothing.
  • riley literally screams as she stares into the empty fridge and scares her neighbors and they come check on her
  • two hours pass and farkle is finally back from his organic chemistry exam and riley is in the same spot
  • she literally has not moved she’s still staring into the fridge
  • “riles, babe, what are you doing you’re wasting energy stop”
  • “who cares”
  • and her voice is so quiet and broken that farkle gets so worried like omfg she blanked on her midterm the essay was terrible she completely bombed it whAt hAPPENED
  • so he runs over to the fridge and looks inside and i s2g he screams even louder than she did
  • and now these two are just screaming into the empty fridge and the neighbors don’t even bother coming over this time
  • ten minutes later riley yells “FARKLE WHAT DO WE DO THE DINING HALLS ARE ALL CLOSED WHERE DO WE GET FOOD”
  • “GROCERY SHOPPING???”
  • “YES GROCERY SHOPPING”
  • riley slams the refrigerator closed and fucking runs to grab her purse and drags farkle out the door as he’s searching up local grocery stores on his phone bc they are not adults they don’t go grocery shopping send help
  • while they walk there riley is mentally compiling a list of all the things they need and boy is it long
  • this is never happening again riley matthews will not allow it
  • they walk into the shop and it’s like 9pm and the place is basically empty and farkle just stares at the aisles and goes “what the hell do we do now”
  • “we buy everything”
  • riley and farkle each take a cart and start on opposite sides of the store and just go at it like it’s a competition
  • they literally run through the aisles and pull everything they could possibly need and five minutes later they meet in the middle and survey what they got
  • “farkle we are not buying coke and mentos”
  • “you don’t want to make stuff blow up in the courtyard?”
  • riley has to pause and seriously consider it before she makes the executive decision that no they are not risking getting thrown out of their apartment halfway into the semester and puts the items into a basket of things to put back
  • farkle slips them back into the cart while she’s not looking
  • she wants to blow stuff up after this hell week he knows she does
  • “how many boxes of peeps did you get???”
  • “PURPLE BUNNY PEEPS FARKLE YOU CANNOT PASS THOSE UP”
  • he just rolls his eyes and puts them in the cart bc let’s face it he could never say no to riley especially when her eyes are so bright and he finally sees her real smile for the first time in two weeks he missed her he loves her BYE
  • so they get the coke and mentos and peeps and a bunch of other basics like milk and bread and butter
  • but then they’ve gotta put back everything they aren’t buying
  • and let me tell you these two make the employees puke from cuteness they are so adorable
  • farkle pushes the cart of food while riley carries the basket and they hold hands and she leans her head on his shoulder as they walk
  • every time riley puts back an item farkle whispers “goodbye” to it all lovey dovey like and she just smirks and rolls her eyes and gives him a lil shove but then wraps her free arm around his waist while he wraps an arm around her shoulders and kisses her temple
  • they’re basically all cuddled up walking through the grocery store aisles
  • at one point they get to the cereal aisle where they have to put back this weird new organic cereal farkle picked out for some reason
  • call it the effects of studying organic chemistry for 17 hours straight
  • but it’s on the top shelf and farkle, though he has grown quite a bit since middle school, is not tall enough to get to the top shelf
  • so riley just turns to him all confused like “how did you even get up there????? is my boyfriend actually a robot??? it’s been like three years how have i not known this?????”
  • and he just shrugs nonchalantly and says he was on a mission
  • so riley fucking climbs on farkle and somehow weasels her way up to sitting on his shoulders so she can reach the top shelf
  • “wait, riles, no” “what are you even doing???” “riley you’re pulling my hair” “that’s my face, thanks” “ow oh my god COME DOWN JUST PUT IT ON THE BOTTOM SHELF NO ONE CARES”
  • but no miss riley matthews is on a mission of her own and places the cereal box on the shelf and throws her fists up in victory
  • farkle almost tumbles over from the force of it omg
  • and he’s begging her to come down so they can get back home but that was their last item to put back and riley decides she likes it up there so she remains sitting on his shoulders
  • she tilts his head up and bends over to give him an upside down kiss and it’s all very cute and that’s how riley is able to sit on farkle’s shoulders while they check out and she plays with his hair and kisses the top of his head the whole time
  • the cashier doesn’t even care omfg the place is closing in five minutes and they’ve gotta clean up and the cashier is hella tired but these two are so cute she doesn’t wanna end this it’s the highlight of her shift
  • but riley’s gotta get down so they can leave so she clambers on down off of farkle and takes some bags and as soon as get out of the store she basically starts making out with him
  • like straight up pressed against the wall of the store with the grocery bags in their hands making out
  • and it goes on for like five minutes before they hear the employees start to leave so they break apart and settle for resting their foreheads together
  • riley keeps her eyes closed and just savors the moment
  • “i missed you”
  • “i missed you, too”
  • “midterms suck let’s never do them again”
  • riley bursts out laughing and just loops her arm with farkle’s and they start to walk back to their apartment
  • when they get back it’s like 11pm so they put on some music and dance around while putting away groceries
  • they throw things back and forth not the eggs tho and sing at the top of their lungs the whole time
  • once they’re done they just collapse on the couch all tangled up together and they wake up there the next morning and the music is still playing and then they realize that they never even ate dinner last night oh my god these idiots are so IN LOVE BYE

send me a pairing and a prompt!!

Game; pt. 2

Jeon Jungkook. 1444 words. Fluff.

Part | 1 | 2 | 3 |

❝ Recounting every little moment he spends with you. ❞

Originally posted by minpuffs

“So you’re here.”

It’s ironic because this how you first talked to him; you hear him before you even see him. The only difference is, he plops down next to you onto the grass. You don’t expect the tree you’re sitting under to have some magic power to make you invisible and shield you away from the searching eyes of Jungkook. But you hoped that you could get through today without having to meet him, especially not after what you’ve just heard and walked away from.

“I searched everywhere in the library.” He mutters mindlessly, oblivious to your prominent silence.

At that, you can’t help but scoff. It’s kind of like an instinct, call it sixth sense. Just like people allergic to cats sneeze in the presence of mere cat furs, you scoff at the presence of bullshit.

“You don’t think I have places to be just because I’m a nerd?”

“Well, no. You’re always there, so my first thought was to look for you there.” The dark haired boy tries to explain, disregarding the tone you’re using.

“Of course.” You roll your eyes. “What better place to look for a nerd than inside a library?”

Jungkook’s head finally turns your way with eyebrows knitted together over your uncalled for hostility. The only time he’s ever received such coldness from you was when he first mustered up the guts to walk over and talk to you.

“Why are you saying that? Like it’s an insult to be smart and intelligent.” He frowns, somewhat offended by the way you’re addressing yourself.

Which you find completely hilarious coming from the guy that makes bet on you because you’re the definition of what he’s getting offensive over right now.

You scoff again, though this time, it turns into laughter. But in spite of that, he sees right through you; he sees the bitterness underneath your heartfelt chortles, the malice he knows is directed to him somehow. He’s always known you’ve always had a spiteful side to you, and to be honest that’s what he likes about you. You see things black and white and speak your mind, but he’s got to admit, being the one on the receiving end of it isn’t so pleasing.

“Really? I mean, you sure don’t think that intelligence is a good thing. If you were, you wouldn’t be placing bets and treating us like a joke, would you?” Jungkook’s eyes widen to the point that they would almost fall out of their sockets.

His lips part but no words come out, he just sits there, staring at you with a whirlwind of emotions flashing across his dark eyes, gaping like a fish on land. It’s then that what little hope you have left perishes away, blown by the wind in the clearing.

“I gotta say; nice one.”

He stopped coming.

Jungkook stopped coming to the library since then and it’s been a whole week. The library again gains the tranquility and undisturbed silence without him. No more does the librarian have to look up from the book she’s reading at the counter, push her glasses up as her eyes land on the table you usually occupy and shush the boy sitting across from you.

The next day, you spot something on the table at the exact chair you sit at every other day. You’re about to take another seat, in case the usual one is already taken and the person uses the paper bag to mark it. But your eyes catch the little note attached to it that has your name written in a handwriting no worse than yours and you instantly know who it’s from.

’_____. If you won’t talk to me, read me.’

Day 1.

Inside, there’s Oreo with another piece of paper, written horribly on it is,

‘I’ll be the Kookie to your Oreo and you be the cream to mine.’

You raise your eyebrows, doubting his level of intellect but gives up and slips the note in between the pages of the book you have with you.

Jungkook hadn’t seen you smile so wide until now. You’re basically an oozing happiness, munching on the Oreo he brought with him.

”You like Oreo?”

”I like them better than I like people, yes.”

Day 2.

A day after that, you find another paper bag at your seat yet again with a cute little red velvet cupcake in it.

‘You’re like red velvet; fierce on the outside but sweet on the inside.’

And just like yesterday, you slip the note in between the pages of the same book from yesterday─ though you really don’t know why since that sure isn’t a good start to forgetting the fake friendship you’ve established with him.

“What’s your favorite cake?”

“You called me just to ask that? Don’t you have anything better to do like catch up on your studies?”

“Just answer the question, damn it.”

“Red velvet. Because it’s yummy.”

And you keep finding food there every time you come into the library. You swear the librarian’s a part of this too because you come in during her shifts so you know she sees Jungkook sneaking in─ unless he’s made truce with her and promised not to cause any disturbance so he can just waltz in instead─ and put the paper bags at your table. Because let’s be real, as cool as flying paper bags sound like, the world has yet to create them and humanity has yet to become slobs in moving chairs just because they can get anything with a press of a button.

Like it or not, you find yourself looking forward to his notes more than the food it comes with and that really means something because you love food.

Day 5.

An apple.

'You’re like a fruit; gross but good for the body.’ Even though sometimes you feel insulted by them.

“My mom packed me an apple.” Jungkook pouts.

“An apple contains phtyto-nutrients, and anti-oxidants, dietary fat that helps prevent absorption of dietary-LDL─ It’s good for you.” You finalize when you see him gawking.

“Okay.” He smiles, biting into it willingly and joyfully.

Day 8.

Mac n’ cheese.

“Your eyes are like stars in the galaxy.”

“That would indicate that my eyes generate light which is a lie because I still can’t see in the dark.”

“… I thought girls like cheesy lines though?”

‘You once said─’

─“The only cheesy I like is on my macaroni.”

And sometimes you find yourself smiling alone reading them.

Day 12.

Happy meal. Literally.

'You’re like happy meal. You make me happy.”

You end up laughing by yourself reading the note, capturing displeased gazes and ones that question your sanity.

“Aren’t happy meals for kids?”

“Yup.”

“… Right, I see no difference either.”

Day 15.


Unlike the past two weeks, the paper bag is empty with an exception of the usual note.

'Under the tree.’

It doesn’t take a genius, though you’d like to think you are, to figure out which tree; it’s the one you’ve made known of your knowledge on the bet and walked away after having the last laugh despite the joke being on you. He wants you to meet him there.

But instead, you open your books and begin studying. Because there are only two things you chase in life; one, it’s a 4.0 GPA and two, it’s ice cream trucks.

The library usually closes at 7:00 PM and you usually get out three quarter after six. There’s barely anyone else on campus but you still pass by people scurrying along on campus ground every so often on your way to leave.

And it’s times like this, when you’re taking a leisure walk and feel like your brain is fried enough to even think about anything education related, your mind wanders off to a particular boy with the rosiest lips you’ve ever met.

Is he still waiting?

Jungkook sighs, weighing the wrapper of melted vanilla ice creams in his hand. The solidness of the tree trunk he’s been leaning against is starting to get to him. Lifting his arms in the air and crossing them, he intertwines his fingers as he stretches.

That’s when he sees a pair of black and white sneakers coming to a halt next to him. With eyes of wonder, he looks up to meet yours, his jaw falling in surprise.

The fatigue you see that settles on his features, the tired sigh, all goes away at the sight of you and needless to say, your heart explodes when his lips upturns into one of those boyish smiles, his eyes turning into mini crescents.

Yes, he is.


Author’s note; tbh when i said i might or might not make part two, i really wasn’t gonna make one in the first place bc sometimes you just get so lazy yanno? so here’s to the ones that messaged me; thank you vv much, you don’t know how much it means to me. knowing that you’d take time out of your life just to do it, i just can’t not make part 2 now can i? tho this probably calls for part 3 lmao.

anonymous asked:

I'm crying I totally see Riley doing that!!! I need more headcanons pls, can you share some others??

Okay um since you specifically mentioned liking Riley’s actions

  • Sometime in 11th grade, Riley makes it her goal in life to absolutely destroy Farkle at everything she possibly can
  • They’ve already been dating for like a year so no one knows what really set her off
  • But she has to outdo him at everything
  • And half of him finds her sheer determination and stubbornness adorable and the other half of him has to defend his pride ya know???
  • So he also gets into it and they become that Super Competitive Couple
  • (The only difference is neither of them really actually cares if they loose or not they’re mostly doing this for fun lmao)
  •  They do this over everything, but of course grades are important since their parents already had them competing with those and they’re in most of the same classes
  • But it continues on after they graduate high school
  • And college
  • Are you ready to play: ‘Who Can Write The Best Wedding Vows?’
  • (No one could pick a winner for that one bc everyone was crying)
  • And literally on their honeymoon they’re racing to see who can reach wherever they’re going first, or who can grab the bill first at the restaurant, or who can name the most (useless) facts when the nerds tour a museum on their honeymoon
  • At some point it’s literally like “Which of these dorky newlyweds can find the best for sale apartment first?”
  • The have a 7 year old daughter by this point and she’s so incredibly used to them that when she starts hanging out at friend’s houses she’s so confused about why their parents are so chill and not dramatic
  • JEOPARDY IS A VERY BIG DEAL IN THE MINKUS HOUSEHOLD
  • LITERALLY EVERY WEEK NIGHT AT 7 THEY GOTTA DROP EVERYTHING THEY’RE DOING AND GET SO INTO THE FUCKING SHOW
  • It gets way to real
  • They slap the table instead of buzzers to yell out the correct answer
  • But the dorks don’t wanna loose right so they keep trying to sabotage each other
  • Like shoving their hands away from the tables or throwing pillows at each other
  • Their children get so used to it but every now and then they’re like “c h i l l” and Maya, who’s over visiting for dinner is cracking up not only at her ridiculous best friends but also the fact a bunch of little kids under the age of 10 are telling them to calm down
  •  They’re both very successful in their chosen career fields and sometimes they try to see who gets mentioned more in the news lmaooo
  • “Hey Farkle our anniversary is tonight so I booked us a reservation at the most exclusive restaurant in town!”
  • Farkle, who brought a swivel chair into the kitchen for this exact moment, spins around with a smirk on his face and a plate in his hands
  • “That’s so interesting, honey, because I already prepared a gourmet five course meal why you were at work.”
  • “You Bastard.” 
  • They time how fast they can drive their kids to things and compare notes at the end of the week lol
  • One Christmas Maya surprises them by booking them to be on an episode of Jeopardy- she made the profiles and took the practice tests without telling them, and the two of them just have to show up for the audition
  • They act just as ridiculous as they do at home and it makes the producers laugh so much they get on the show
  • Their episode ends with them in a tie it seems the end times are near
  • So the producers are like “Kay well we’ll just bring them both back at a later date to settle it and see who progresses further” except they tie AGAIN
  • AND AGAIN
  • AND AGAIN
  • It’s a nightmare really
  • But they’re having a lot of fun so who really cares
  • (The internet is split into #TeamRiley and #TeamFarkle it’s fucking fantastic)
  • And the Jeopardy War doesn’t stop them from competing over anything else (Like Maya had lowkey hoped it would)
  • Nope they get worse
  • One day Farkle comes home after picking two of their daughters up from a party. They’re met at the door with Riley and the other two girls holding water guns at them threateningly
  • The Great Minkus Water War becomes a yearly family tradition after that
  • Don’t even get me started on holiday decorating
  • Don’t even get me started on buying presents
  • “Who Can Make Their In-Laws Love Them More?”
  • guys this is getting away from me add onto it please  

IM SO TIRED OF HEARING THAT HEALTHY FOOD IS SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE THAN UNHEALTHY FOOD.

Literally a 5lb bag of rice at Walmart is $3.38 while one meal’s worth of chicken is the same price or more. Do you know how many meals 5lbs of rice can make? About 60 meals. I get you cant just eat rice, one of the huge frets over vegan diets is the amount of protein we get. One can of beans cost about 75-80 cents and one serving of beans (3.5 servings per can in Great Value Pinto Beans) has 6 grams of protein. As humans, we only need about 3% of our diet to be protein (the Walmart beans can get you there easy peasy lemon squeezy). An 8lb bag of pinto beans (Walmart brand) is $7.

Fruits and vegetables are BEST when bought organic and not frozen, but they give you everything you need even if they are canned/frozen. At some stores you CAN buy fruits and veggies in bulk that are organic and raw, and if you have a store like that around you, HIT THAT UP MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? But I’m going to stick with talking about Walmart bc let’s face it, in America there is a Walmart around every corner and it is accessible and relatively cheap for people who are on budgets.
Canned fruits (get the ones not in syrup) it’s between 1 and 3$. There’s huge bags of frozen fruit that are about $5-$8. You can eat 4 bananas per day for under $10 per week.

Buy in bulk, buy canned and frozen fruits and veggies if you need to. You can make a meal that meets your nutrient needs for under $1. Stop thinking being vegan means buying fake meats and fake cheeses that honestly are a bit more expensive, and that are nice on occasion, but it’s honestly not necessary. You can easily make vegan burgers with canned chickpeas and other cheap ingredients.

You think buying vegetables is expensive? It’s not as expensive as having to have surgery later on in live or get on expensive medications to regulate blood pressure and cholesterol problems that have been caused by all of the cheap gross foods that the food industry tries to sell people who are tight on money and think that they don’t have any other way to eat within that tight budget.