bby-loki

Night Terrors - a Loki one-shot.

(In which Odin is an A+ parent, as usual.)

“…I slashed to the left with my sword, cutting down yet another Jotun. My army were all about me, laying waste to the frost giants with swords and spears. Although we were outnumbered, we were all highly trained warriors. We were knee-deep in Jotun blood, and the frost giants kept coming…”

“What did they look like, father?” The blond boy asked eagerly, squirming with excitement as he sat on his father’s knee.

Odin’s voice was animated as he described them. “Huge, towering fiends with blue skin and blood-red eyes. The Jotun are savage warriors, my son. Their king, Laufey, is the greatest fiend of them all. He’s the one who took my eye.” Odin pointed to the eyepatch that concealed his empty eye socket.

“But you won in the end, didn’t you father?”

“Yes. It was a long and hard battle, but we defeated the monsters and afterwards we took the source of their power so they could never threaten Midgard again. When one of you becomes king…” Odin looked at each of the boys “…there may come a time when you must use force to defeat a fiercesome enemy. But force must never be your first choice. The frost giants would have destroyed Midgard and slaughtered the Midgardians if we hadn’t stopped them. We had no choice.”

Sitting cross-legged on the rug before the fireplace, Loki had been silent throughout the story. But now his big blue eyes looked up at Odin, and his lip trembled as he asked “Father, there are no frost giants in Asgard, are there?”

Odin let out a roar of laughter. “No Loki. Those monsters wouldn’t dare enter my kingdom. I have taught their race to fear me. King Laufey and I have a truce. He knows better than to break our agreement.”

Bustling into the room, Frigga caught the tail end of the conversation.

“My king, it is not wise to tell the boys such tales before bedtime. It disturbs their sleep.”

“It doesn’t disturb MY sleep,” said Thor pointedly. Loki looked down at the floor. Loki had had night terrors since he was very small. Frigga would hear his tormented screams and rush to his bedside. When she managed to wake him, his eyes would have a haunted look that chilled Frigga to the bone. It was a look seldom seen on a child so small. It was almost as if he knew.

“Anyway boys, your mother is quite right. It’s time for bed.”

“Awww…” Thor began, but at a stern look from Odin he climbed down from his father’s lap and made his way towards his bedroom. Loki got up from the rug with his usual precocious grace and followed his brother.

Frigga turned to her husband. “Odin, I wish you wouldn’t…”

“Nonsense, Frigga. The boys have to learn about the enemies of Asgard. We can’t shy away from telling them the truth. They need to know that battle is bloody and hard but that sometimes it is necessary.”

“But my king, all this talk of the Jotun being monsters…”

She trailed off, knowing he would understand her meaning. Our son is no monster.

“Frigga the boy doesn’t remember any of that. To all intents and purposes, he is Aesir now. And the Jotun have long been our enemies.”

“But should he ever realise…”

“He will not. I have made every effort to make him a true part of this family. We are his people now. Asgard is his home. He has nothing in common with those fiends.”

Frigga nodded, outwardly obedient to her king. But secretly, she worried about Loki. If he should ever discover his true parentage, what then? Her husband was teaching her son to hate his own race. To hate himself. No good could come of it.

“And by the way, you mother him too much. You shouldn’t run to him every time he falls over or has a bad dream. He will never make a warrior while he’s tied to your apron strings.”

“My lord, Loki is of a different kind. He’s not like his brother.” This was a source of contention between the two of them. As far as Odin was concerned, it was a great pity that Loki was not like Thor.

Frigga continued. “Loki’s gifts are more of learning than in wielding a weapon. He has a keen mind and a persuasive tongue. He could charm the antlers off a bilgesnipe. He could make a great king. And his magic…”

Odin cut her off. “Magic is for women and cowards! I will not have a son who cannot wield an axe in battle and take pride and glory in winning the fight. Magic is for weaklings and deceivers.”

Frigga’s eyes narrowed. “Is that so, my lord? Which then am I?”

As Odin struggled for words, a thin cry arose from the hallway. Loki.

“You should not go to him. Your attentions are making him soft.”

Frigga stood up with great dignity. “You cannot treat them the same, Odin. They are cut from different bolts of cloth. In trying to mold Loki against his nature, you’re doing harm to all of us.”

She strode off towards Loki’s room and found his small, slender frame twisted in the blankets. He was drenched in sweat, and he was whimpering pitifully in his sleep. Frigga sat on the edge of the bed, and shook his shoulder gently, speaking to him all the while.

“Loki, mama’s here. Loki it’s just a nightmare. Wake up darling, you’re safe. Wake up.”

At once the child sat bolt upright in bed, panting as if he’d been running. For a moment or two he seemed not to recognise Frigga, looking at her with wide-eyed terror. Then, as his breathing began to slow, he crawled across the bed towards her and threw his arms around her neck. Frigga held the boy tightly, cradling his damp head in the palm of her hand, and making soothing noises.

“Mama, I dreamed that the frost giants were coming to get me. Mama, I’m scared. I heard what papa said, but what if there ARE frost giants in Asgard? Mama I don’t want anything bad to happen to you or Thor.” Frigga noted how Loki failed to mention his father, and it saddened her, but it didn’t come as a surprise.

“Mama, are you sure there are no Jotun here? Not even one?”

Frigga looked into her son’s trusting blue eyes, and silently cursed as she told him; “No Loki. Not even one.”

**

Frigga woke several hours later, curled around Loki’s small form. She had held him to her breast until he had calmed, until his breathing had deepened and he had finally slept. She looked down at her son’s face, which was serene in sleep. It seemed her presence was enough to dispel the nightmares.

Frigga stroked Loki’s face lightly, but her mind was troubled. Frigga had not been a seer these long years for nothing. She sensed trouble ahead, and she feared for Loki. She feared for Loki in a way she would never have to fear for Thor. Because he was soft. Because he was sensitive. Because he would never be the boy Odin wanted him to be.

Planting a kiss on Loki’s forehead, Frigga carefully stood up and walked to the doorway, turning back to look upon her sleeping son’s form. “Oh Loki,” she said under her breath. “I wish I knew what would become of you.”

new studyblr!

Hello~

  • My name is Tamsin 
  • I’m from the UK 
  • I’m starting college in September  

I’m going to be studying:

  •  Law
  •  Politics
  •  Philosophy & Ethics (Religious studies)

 I’m always really motivated and enthusiastic about education and learning bc it’s such a privilege, which is why I love the studyblr community, because in real life it’s hard to find teenagers that are taking things seriously and appreciating their opportunities!

  •  My icon is my bby kitten, Loki, whom interrupts my every study session without fail
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 Some of my favourite accounts that inspire me are:

  @rivkahstudies @studyign @studywithinspo @universi-tea @classicalstudies @journalsanctuary @mlykstudy @minimalist-studyblr @studenting @elkstudies @youjustgotlawyered @plannersandcoffee @political-studyblr @peppermntstudies @bulletjournalescapades @bulletjournaljungle @niftynotes

anonymous asked:

lol it seems like others keep asking you things, miss popular ;) I hope you don't mind another question. I love your thoughts on all marvel related things. so I'd love to know more of Odin from your perspective and the differences you believe you have in comparison to much of the fandom! will you write a little of your thoughts on him please?

(idk why ppl ask me things all I do is ramble incoherently with questionable punctuation)

Since this is request #2, and I have consumed adequate coffee, I’ll answer with more detail this time. :)

First, let me say that this is a head-canon. I think his character can validly be interpreted as the opposite of what I’m about to say. This is just what I choose to believe. It’s also only MCU-based. I’m not as familiar with Odin from the comics, though I have read some. From what I’ve seen, comic!Odin is very large, looks like a pirate, and yells a lot.

My interpretation of Odin is that he is a terrible communicator. I believe he means well with Loki, but the execution is not so great. He’s cutting, derisive, and impatient. He doesn’t say everything he should (understatement of the century), and expects others to immediately accept his way of thinking.

I get two scenes stuck in my head with Odin. One is of him picking up lil bby Loki and stroking his lil blue bby head with his thumb. I freaking melt, okay? I don’t see someone who’s thinking, “Gee golly, this sure is a swell war relic. I wonder how I can use and manipulate him? I tell ya, my son is gonna look great in comparison to this little shit.”

What I see is: “Do you need a dad? I can be your dad.”

The second scene that always strikes me is when Loki asks Odin what he is, and Odin simply says, “You’re my son.” I think those three words are very telling … because Loki is literally turning blue at that point. He wants an explanation, and I believe Odin tells Loki very succinctly exactly how he sees him, regardless of anything else.

In my fic, Bargaining, I have Odin explain why he never told Loki about his heritage:

(Spoiler)“To be honest, I did not think to ever tell you. None of it matters or changes anything. Loki, I do not often say much because I choose my words carefully. I say what I mean and very little else. When I call you my son, that is because you are. When I say you are of Asgard, that is because you were raised here. When I neglect to say that you were abandoned, that is because you were found. When I fail to mention Laufey’s relation to you, that is because he gave up the right to call himself your father, and so he isn’t. These things are fact. I accepted them and moved on as if they were fact. I rather expected you to do the same. I did not anticipate your grief, and for that, I am quite grieved myself.”

You might ask about Loki’s line: “What more than that?” Odin then admits he saw a political use in Loki. I just … I don’t see how this is necessarily a bad thing? Odin is king and is trying to maintain the peace between two realms. Members of a royal family have a political duty. I believe Odin would expect the same kind of thing from Thor (which idk might be the reason he was banished.) I think Loki’s insecurity caused him to interpret Odin hoping he could help maintain peace as the only reason he picked him up.

You might ask next: “Okay, what about the scene with young Thor saying he would kill all the frost giants? Odin doesn’t correct him.” Not in that scene, he doesn’t. But think about Thor’s banishment. Odin corrects him there. In the scene with Odin and young Thor and Loki, I see him treating them both very equally—holding both of their hands, looking them both in the face in turn, and acknowledging they were both born to be kings. It’s Thor who speaks out against frost giants—not Odin, who, from what I can remember, is just telling war stories. However, I do wish Odin had corrected Thor here. He didn’t.

I will never say Odin is perfect, and this is a very good reason why.

I’m also very curious to know where Loki got the whole “because I am the monster parents tell their children about at night” thing. Because wow. However, I will say that Loki is an unreliable narrator (ie, “you threw me into an abyss”). We don’t actually see Odin or Frigga saying these things to Loki. I’m more inclined to think this is something Loki picked up from others in Asgard rather than directly from his parents.

Odin treating Loki badly by cutting him off repeatedly? In Bargaining, I wrote that Odin ignores Loki because he constantly seeks attention like a child. Not the best parenting technique. Again, I don’t think Odin is perfect, and at times he’s something of an ass. I think this sort of thing was very hurtful to Loki’s sensitivities.

Odin on the bridge, letting Loki fall? I see him as being stunned and disoriented. He just woke up. The Bifrost is gone. His sons are at each other’s throats. Loki basically just said, “Hey, dad. I orchestrated genocide for you to prove I’m your true son. Aren’t you proud?” And Odin’s like, “Um, kinda not really wtf.” Unfortunately, his response ended there (again: bad communicator), and so Loki gave him mad-face and let go. There’s a disconnect here between disapproval of Loki’s actions and complete rejection of Loki-as-his-son.

Think about this: if Odin had validated Loki’s actions against Jotunheim, he would have been validating Loki’s prejudices against them as well. That in turn, is prejudice against Loki. There was no good answer for Odin to give at this point except for maybe, “Don’t let go. Come up here, and let’s figure this out.” Did I mention Odin is a bad communicator?

Odin sentencing Loki to life in prison? Well, he didn’t kill him. I don’t know how I feel about Odin’s sentence, to be honest. They both say some pretty awful things to each other, and families do that sometimes. In Bargaining, I wrote that Odin had the power to block Frigga from seeing Loki—but didn’t. Part of me wants to believe Odin was hoping that Frigga would help Loki over time to admit his faults, and the sentence might have softened at a later date.

And well, I’m just going to say it: Loki deserved life in prison. He killed people without provocation. Sorry.

Still, my hope is that a family could reconcile even after that.

So I guess my Odin head-canon is that he’s a really crappy, imperfect father but is more well-meaning than people might give him credit for.