battle of the dudes

Adventures in retail

female customer: “I’ve been inside painting today!” *starts showing me all her cuts and bruises on her hands and her thumb had green paint on it, lol*
old cranky dude: “Well, you shouldn’t be doing that! That’s up to the man! Do you not have a man around???”
female customer: “I got rid of him ‘cos all he ever did was sit on his ass and watch me work!!!”
old cranky dude: “Well….you know who started that??! FDR!”
female customer: *confused* “What does he have to do with it??”
old cranky dude: “He…he had women go out of the home and work! Ruined families!!!”
female customer: “Well, I own my own company.”
old cranky dude: “What kind of company is it?”
female customer: “I’m a landscape architect. Do you know that (man-made) lake out by (newer subdivision in town)?? I built that.
old cranky dude: "You mean you worked with the general contractor?”
female customer:NO. I. BUILT. THAT.”
old cranky dude: *face getting more and more red*

me:

Originally posted by the-reactiongifs

Thoughts on Patroclus

Friendly reminder that Patroclus should not be remember simply as “Achilles’ bitch”.

Friendly reminder that Patroclus was a little shit. He had the power, the looks and the skills, and he knew it. Not only he excelled at battle; he did it while taunting his enemies all the fucking time cause he was going to win and he knew it.

Friendly reminder that he was the one guy who got to call out on Achilles, something no one else dared to do. In fact, men went to ask him to call out on Achilles because everyone was scared of him. Except for Patroclus.

Friendly reminder that Patroclus had advanced medical knowledge, something extremly rare at the time. He healed many of his friends and comrades during battle. Hadn’t it been for him, many great warriors would have died.

Friendly reminder that Patroclus was loyal to a fault. He was always by Achilles’ side in battle. He never disobeyed Achilles orders. The one time he did, was the time he died.

Friendly reminder that Patroclus was kind and had a soft heart. He cried because while Achilles’ Rage lasted, he wouldn’t let any of his men enter battle, Patroclus included. And while Achilles’ troops were hiding in their ships, the rest of the Greek army got crushed. Patroclus felt so powerless and helpless because he couldn’t do nothing as he saw his comrades dying.

Friendly reminder that Patroclus had a character crisis. He had to decide whether obeying his Lord’s commands and abandoning his friends in battle, or going against his Lord’s wishes and engaging fight.

Friendly reminder that he refused to stay behind like a coward. He chose to enter battle, but since he was a honourable man he told Achilles about it. Friendly reminder that he managed to sway Achilles’ Rage. Friendly reminder that he managed to convince Achilles to let their troops rejoin the war, thus returning the victory to the Greeks.

Friendly reminder that Patroclus was flawed. He committed hubris. He got so battle drunk and was so excited by the prospect of finally ending the war, that he disobeyed Achilles’ direct command not to fight near the walls of Troy, and chased the Troyans back to the limits of the city. To the place Achilles had specifically told him not to go because it would be too dangerous. Friendly reminder that this one flaw is his downfall.

Friendly reminder that Patroclus doesn’t go down without giving one hell of a fight. Friendly reminder that Patroclus was so strong that Apollo (the God that protected Troy and Hector [Troy’s heir to the throne]) had to face him and repel him four times. Four times. A god. If that ain’t badass, then I don’t know what could be. In the fourth time, Apollo got inside Patroclus’ head and made him dizzy. Patroclus fell and Apollo removed him from his armour- Achilles’ armour. Patroclus ended up unprotected, vulnerable and dizzy in the middle of the battle field; so a random dude saw the opportunity and stabbed his back with a spear. But was that enough to make him go down? Oh heck no. The pain snapped him out of the dizziness. Patroclus realized he was in a very troublesome situation so he decided to fall back… but at that moment Hector engaged him in battle. And Patroclus wouldn’t retire from a direct combat, oh heck he wouldn’t. Even though he knew this was probably the way he would die, he fought with his all.

Friendly reminder that lacking his armor, tired from battle, with a spear wound on his back and only Achilles’ sword left as weapon, Patroclus faced Hector, Troy’s greatest warrior and didn’t fear.

Friendly reminder that when Hector sheathed his spear in Patroclos’ stomach, Patroclus thought about the love of his life.

Friendly reminder that with his last breath Patroclus smiled at Hector and told him “You are a dead man. This will be your downfall”. Friendly reminder that until his last moment, he was a little shit.

Friendly reminder that Patroclus is a flawed, well-rounded, badass character and that he deserves so much more than his current position as “Achilles’s love interest”.

10

#GAME4HAM

Ahh, here is a project that snowballed out of control. I only wanted to draw Hamilton on the mario super star (he’s non-stop, geddit? geddit?), but then decided to turn the whole show into a SNES video game cause I’m crazy like that. There’s four parts to this and I’ll post one a day (I’m still tweaking the ends). 


Part 1 of 4: Please click on the pics for descriptions/mission for each game.

edit: if the captions are not working (thanks tumblr), here they are:

  • Start Page
  • Eye of the Hurricane: Help Hamilton escape the hurricane but make sure he collects his books along the way!
  • Cut Scene: New York bound
  • BATTLE! Farmer Refuted: Oh my god, tear that dude apart. Help Hamilton call for a revolution in this screaming match against Samuel Seabury!
  • Cut Scene: Rise up!
  • Here Comes the General: Thirty-two thousand troops are in New York harbour! Fight your way across as George Washington. Watch out for the incoming BOOM!!!
  • Yo Let’s Steal their Cannons: Race against time with Hamilton and Hercules Mulligan (interchangeable leads) and steal all the British cannons before dawn!
  • Winter Ball of 1780, Level 1: Grind to the rhythm as Eliza Schuyler. Follow the steps correctly to help her dance her way across the hall to meet the handsome Mr. Hamilton!
  • Rewind!!! Winter Ball of 1780, Level 2: Uh-oh! Do you remember that night? Retrace all your steps and dance again as Angelica Schuyler.
  • Save page

Full series: || Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 …And Peggy! || 

@linmanuel #yayhamlet!

Jughead & Reader: No Place to Call Home

Summary: Jughead found out that his mom didn’t want him visiting her and Jellybean in Toledo. Crushed and upset, you do your best to comfort him to get him through this heartbreaking time.

Listen to: Nutshell - Alice in Chains


“Pack your bag,” Jughead said, not really sounding like himself. He sounded a little excited but also nervous and unsure. 

You furrowed your brows. “What? Why?”

“Because!” He said as he grabbed your backpack and dumped out all of your textbooks and notebooks. 

“Jug!” You yelled. You ran over to him, grabbed his hands and made him look at you. “What are you doing? Why do you want me to pack a bag? What’s going on?”

He looked you in the eyes and suddenly changed into a different person. His chin trembled, his eyes turned red as they started to fill with tears. “We just need to leave, okay?” He said quietly. “You and me. Away from all of this.”

You nodded to your best friend, knowing that whatever it was that was driving the two of you out of town, was enough of a reason to leave with Jughead. You grabbed some jackets and sweaters, stuffing them into your backpack. Jughead sat on your bed and watched you silently, doing his best to keep his feelings in check. 

When your bag was packed haphazardly, you looked at him. “Where are we going?” You asked him. 

“We don’t have to do this.” He sighed and shook his head. “I mean, you don’t have to go with me. It was stupid of me to come all the way over here, demanding you just get up and leave.” 

“Jug,” you said to him. “If you’re leaving town, I’m leaving town.“

He took a deep breath and smiled a bit. “We’re going to the bus station,” he said as he grabbed his own bag that he threw onto the floor when he climbed in through your window. “We’re leaving tonight.”

Keep reading

Monstrous Savior

Playing a Dragon Age campaign. Our party is a Tal-Vashoth Pirate Captain Warrior (Me), a Half-Elf Merchant Rogue, a Human Chasind Wilder Rogue, and a Human Mage. We have an ancient elf NPC named “Sariel” with us who we woke up from a deep sleep Snow White-style, and are looking for more buried elves the same way.

We’ve just gotten through a huge battle in which a dude exploded right next to me, so I’m covered in blood.

Me (OOC): I walk over to this tomb/grave thing and examine it.

DM: It’s a casket, but it has holes in it.

Me (OOC): Another ancient elf. Got it. I’m gonna open the casket.

Mage: Maybe you should let someone else do it so you don’t scare them like you did Sariel.

Me: I’m a horned giant covered in blood with a huge axe made of dragon bones, what’s so scary about that?

I went to a nearby waterfall to wash off the blood. When I returned the ancient elf was awake and screamed “WHY DOES IT HAVE HORNS!?”

Xenoblade be like:
  • *Wonderful soothing music along a fantastic scenery.*
  • In-battle: 🎸🎸🎸🎸WE CANT LOSE WOAH DUDE THIS IS THE MONADO'S POWER 🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸EVERYONE LET'S GO IT'S REYN TIME TAAAKE THIS RIKI SNEAKY BACK SLASH WILD DOWN 💥💥💥🎸🎸💥💥🎸🎸🎸🎸💥💥 HA IN YOUR FACE VICTORY TO RIKI MAN WHAT A BUNCH OF JOKERS
  • Post-battle: *serene again*

anonymous asked:

Goku Destroying universes?!?!? WHAT I need to catch up on Super but give me the Deets Jax

Okay so basically in the New Arc of Dragon Ball Super Goku wanted to fight in a Multiverse tournament so he went and talked to GOD and GOD said sure

So GOD makes up the rules for the Tournament and God (Or the High Priest Angel) Decides that all 12 Universes COMPETING will have a chance to win and prove theyre the best but THE LOSING UNIVERSE will BE ERASED that means the Kais and Gods of Destruction are ERASED as well. ALSO meaning the afterlife for that Universe will be erased so if you die you literally dont exist but it doesnt matter cause you are erased.

So only 1 universe can win and 7 Will be Erased. 

4 of the Universes are safe because the quality of life in them are high. 

So everyone IS FREAKING OUT about this but Goku is all

“I just wanna fight strong folks I’ll FIGHT EVERYONE COME AT ME BRO”

He literally says that no BS

so When Goku fights this dude named Bergamo he pleads to GOD hey. 

Originally posted by bird-studio

If I win this make it so all the universes are exempt and wont be destroyed please and GOD agrees if he wins he’ll leave all the universes alone but if Goku holds back and lets the dude win he’ll destroy all 12 universes on the spot. So Goku just wants a good fight and battles the dude without holding back and kicks his ass

Originally posted by vgeta

So after he beats him all the other universes are lookin at Goku like WHY DID YOU AGREE TO THIS and GOKU SAYS 

Like totally just Saiyan Blood Hyped up and then at the end this Dude who looks like Robotnic is gonna fight him to see if Goku is evil and Goku says

And then they are going to fight. Honestly it feels like Goku’s TRUE SAIYAN nature is overtaking him to the point he’s indifferent to the Googleplex of lives that could be lost because he wanted to battle 

EDIT FOR THOSE who keep saying OmniKing was gonna destroy those universes anyway.

Thats not the Main POINT of the issue the Main Point is Goku really Doesn’t care about anyone else BUT FIGHTING. So all that “He gave em a fighting chance Bullshit” Doesnt really matter because he didnt care in the first place. When he found out that all the Universes were at stake he was like “Oh….well that sucks. Oh well” but he wasn’t shaken at all. and I know people are saying “well if they win he could use the Super DragonBalls and Restore them” etc but still the fact he is becoming so Indifferent to all the Lives that could be lost is fuckin Bullshit. I know he’s done selfish shit before like
Letting Vegeta, Frieza, and Buu Live when he couldve killed them

or giving a Cell a senzu bean and letting him wail on his son just cause he wanted to see a good fight and thought Gohan will eventually rage boost.

They REALLY Need to address this because even Kid Goku and Early DBZ Goku would not have pulled this shit or if they did they would still be worried about people’s lives, Yes even the japanese one did show he cared numerous times throughout the series so thats what irks me

please write more lgbt characters in books that aren’t specifically about sexuality (although we need more of those, too).

i just want to be able to pick up a book and see two girls falling in love while trying to battle a corrupt government, while trying to defeat this one evil dude, while time travelling. i don’t want ‘lgbt’ to be a genre of its own, you know? i want genre books with main characters who just happen to be lgbt. i want this so much. 

Tired

Can we be honest with each other for a minute? Like, can I just admit some stuff here? This has been a hard year. This has been my no good, very bad year.

I am tired. No. I am TIRED.

There is bone tired and then there is marrow tired. I can visualize my marrow: worn down, thin. Grey.

I get to work later every day.

Because it is hard to drag myself into that zone. Those glassy eyes.

I cannot fight the battle of the phone anymore.

I cannot repeat myself anymore.

Dude.

I typed out those directions. Then I printed them out. Then I emailed them to you. Then I read them out loud. Then I wrote them on the board. Then I acted them out. With gestures. With accents.

How you gonna tell me, “I wasn’t paying attention?” For reals?

Guys, hello? This is my best material.

I have never written better lesson plans. I promise. They are meeting standards. They are based on essential questions. They are topical. They are fascinating.

They are useless.

I am old. I was BFFs with your ancestors. I remember the original thirteen colonies. I built the pyramids.

And in those decades, nay centuries, nay eons, I learned some tricks. My bag of tricks rivals Santa’s bag of gifts.

And. None. Of. Them. Work.

Every morning I have thousands of new grey hairs.

The circles under my eyes are canyons. They are purple. They have area codes.

Everyone is bored.

I used to be funny. No one has laughed with me in so long. I only cry in private. I only scream in my nightmares.

Hope does not return my calls.

My students used to just get high. They used to just get pregnant. Now, even the gamers are getting incarcerated.

It is getting bleak when the only poem which seems relevant goes, “Not with a bang but a whimper.”

But.

I am not beaten yet.

The other day, someone remembered what an inference was.

You know?

The other day, someone asked for a highlighter.

The other day, someone was actually looking up a word on the phone under the desk.

The other day, a kid made a joke and it was funny.

This is not a good year in my room. Fine. It is not a good year in my country. Fine. But even Scarlet O’Hara knew that tomorrow was another day.