A couple weeks later, realizing that snapped wands were too powerful of a weapon, our DM concocted a method for Bear’s return. He took her player into a side room at the beginning of the session and nothing seemed to come of it for some time. The player just drew pictures while we hunted and fought a Remorhaz in the snowy mountain caves. DM: Alright, and with that barrage of psionic arrows from Nomad, the Remorhaz is almost dead. (waits) Ahem, I said, ‘the Remorhaz is almost dead.’ Bear: Oh, right. Bear rips off the Remorhaz’s jaw from inside while growling fiercely as blood and brains rain down upon her. She then reaches back casually into its throat to grab her battle axe. Cleric: “What, the? By the Light of Pelor, where have you been?” Bear: “Bear no know. Bear got hot. Then scary guy make promise with Bear to return to her sorcerer.” Sorcerer (while actually crying a little): He’s stunned, dumbstruck, jaw open and staring. “I never thought I’d see you again.” Bear: I hug and lift the sorcerer. “You are my sorcerer. Bear always protect her sorcerer.” And she did all the way until the end of the campaign a couple months later.
A chiselled and gold-inlaid Persian battle axe (tabarzin), 18th/19th century Solid blade with semi-circular edge, chiselled on both sides in hunting relief and with gold-inlaid decoration. On the socket and hammer head an Arabic inscription chiselled in relief. Velvet covered wood haft with two octagonal, ornamental gold-inlaid iron mounts, suspension ring attached to the handle.
The worst part of the Assassin’s Creed series is … everything else. The plot is based on something the developers half-remembered from a History Channel special, the premise is less cyberpunk than it is cyber-soft-rock, and the dialogue aspires to being wooden – right now it’s particleboard.
So in order to keep you entertained though the 20-hour slog of story endurance, you get increasingly awesome ways to teach Todd to watch where the hell he’s standing: battle hammers, axes, maces, halberds, and uh … brooms?
In that gif, someone thwacked that guy with a broom so hard blood flew out. Remember that force equals mass times acceleration, so that straw has to be travelling at relativistic speeds. Here’s that same broom, bludgeoning the Catholic out of a guy wearing full plate mail.
You probably never bothered with it, but the broom in Assassin’s Creed II is a magic death machine that can be found everywhere, never breaks, and can even slit a guy’s throat.