battery dude

Outlast 2 Jacksepticeye series in a nutshell:

Run!

JESUS! My mortal enemy!

Eww!

Where do I go?

What is that big white light?

F*** you!

F***ing Jesus Christ!

This is f***ed up!

Come on!

Why?! Why?! I’m a good boy! I got to bed on time! I pay my taxes!

Batteries!

I’m so sorry dudes…

This game is going to shorten my life.

Shrek! I’m looking down!

The imagery is amazing.

That is so creepy!

I’m going to look around because I want to find secrets.

This game is so dark!

Kind of disappointed…

Where am I?

Awesome!

Jessica?

So much running! So much hiding!

Needs better pacing.

Not more gospels…

Jack want out!

WHAT THE PHUCK?!

PHUCK YOU!

AHHHHHHHHHH!

2017 Sterek Christmas Fic Rec List

Last Christmas by thatdamneddame

Last year, Stiles spent Christmas Eve with Derek and his family at their family lodge in the mountains. This year he’s back with what he knows: drinking eggnog with his dad. It would be going a lot better for him if Derek stopped trying to apologize.

All The Way Home (I’ll Be Warm) by GotTheSilver

A Christmas AU involving New York, snow, baked treats, and hot chocolate.

Stiles is standing there, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, and Derek doesn’t want to see him disappear into the apartment opposite without a promise to see him again. “Do you—would you like something to drink? Coffee?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Rubbing his hands together, Stiles nods and looks over his shoulder. “Can you give me a minute to get changed? I’ve got snow melting in places that I don’t want it to be melting.”

Derek laughs at the look on Stiles’ face and nods. “Knock when you’re done.”

If Derek watches Stiles until the door closes, that’s no one’s business but his own.

A Hale for the Holidays by rlnerdgirl

“I sent you a Christmas card that got sent back to me. Did you get a new apartment?” his dad wonders. The question is all suspicion and little anything else.

A flicker of an idea sparks. It’s not nearly formed well enough for him to say, “Yeah, actually,” and when he follows that with, “I moved in with someone,” he wants to punch himself in the face. He’s living with someone?!

“You’re living with someone?” It’s the same voice and tone as the one in Stiles’ head, just thirty years older.

Two things keep Stiles from bashing his face onto the table: there’s a steaming cup of coffee in the way and, more importantly, his dad will definitely hear. Someone passes by in front of him and a semi-familiar book cover catches his eye. “Derek Hale,” he muses, and stops. No. That wasn’t meant to be out loud.

Layover by dr_girlfriend

Big, serious brown eyes were staring right into his from only a few inches away. The child had clambered half over the arm of Derek’s chair to study him at close range, her little rosebud mouth pursed in concentration.

“Uh.” Derek couldn’t look away as the girl reached out one pudgy hand and patted him gently on the cheek. Her scent was soft and sweet and somehow a bit familiar, just enough to keep Derek from shying away. Derek didn’t know too much about kids but he guessed this one was probably three years old or so, head still oversized in proportion to the short limbs and round little belly.

She seemed fascinated with Derek’s beard, eyes widening further under incredibly thick lashes as she petted Derek’s cheek some more, smoothing down the short stubble. Finally she grinned widely. “Good wuff.”

Derek jerked upright, hands clenching on the edge of his seat. Did she just say?…

“CJ!” The child was suddenly gone, lifted up by a strong, tattooed forearm around her little potbelly. “You scared the he— heck out of me! What have I told you about wandering — Derek?”

Mistletoe Never Lies by CarolineLahey

Derek Hale loves his family, he really does. He just wishes they weren’t so determined to set him up. When he finally blurts out that he has a boyfriend, and quickly gives his mother the name of the barista at his local coffee shop as his “boyfriend”, he figures that buys him a little peace.
He probably should have been paying attention to the part of the conversation where he agreed to bring Stiles home for Christmas to meet the family.

Keep reading

shit my step sister has said

this is a sentence meme based upon things my step sister has said while on the phone or just in general, i don’t know why i made this

  • “When he gives you the good succ or something.”
  • “Wait, I found a picture of one twig deepthroating another twig.”
  • “Guy Fieri should start a YouTube account where he does daily vlogs of his life.”
  • “Why am I not white today?”
  • “Have you ever seen a vagina? They’re whack.”
  • “You mess with the crabbo, you get the stabbo.”
  • “Don’t go through my phone, there’s a lot of sketchy stuff on there.”
  • “I licked the door at Mount Vernon and it tasted like George Washington.”
  • “It tasted the same as the Washington Monument so, I just figured that’s what he tasted like.”
  • “He only answers me when I call him ‘fam’.”
  • “My room is super gay.”
  • “I’m the shortest person you’ll ever meet.”
  • “I need some fucking batteries, dude.”
  • *In a British accent* “Why is this part of your leg so nice and soft?”
  • “The government is finding out that I’m cheating on the Sims.”
  • “Why is your hand through your vagina?”
  • “You wanna chat with ____, not Whore #2.”
  • “I found this on the dark, dark side of Instagram.”
  • “He sounds like such a whiny bitch during this song.”
  • “Remember when I was watching videos of bread falling?”
  • “I wanna get #NotMyRodrick tattooed.”
  • “Maui doesn’t have any nipples, did you know that?”
  • “I wanna Lighting McKill Myself.”
  • “There’s a bee in my room so, I’m gonna hide in here.”
  • “They say 70% of you is H2O, well the other 30% of me wants to die.”
  • “Do you remember the ‘pepperoni nipples’ song?”
  • “Don’t you just love it when your friend sends you something about erectile dysfunction?”
  • “I thought the Paris sticker said penis.”

TT: Greetings, each and every one of you memes.

TT: I didn’t presume to be on this site, but I’m sure as fuck on here now regardless. 

TT: Being here is already making me wanna wish I was on low battery. It’s infested with dudes that reek of sweat and desperation.

TT: That includes Dirk, who is also apart of the sweaty asshole bandwagon. Fucking gross.

TT: Enough blabbering from me, though. I should be receiving asks so that way I can be alive for once. Hit me up.

The Truth (Gray x Reader)

P.S This was requested by anon. It was really fun to write this one and it got longer than I expected it to be. Enjoy!

—————————–

Your relationship with Seonghwa was great, you loved every minute of it. He was a gentleman, sweet, caring, affectionate, he liked making jokes, you felt comfortable around him. You met him while you were out jogging,you had sat down to take a breath and strech and he happened to be there, he always liked to take a quick walk when he felt unispired, so he can relax and refill his batteries. Some dude came to talk to you and you looked very uncomfortable, Seonghwa walked to you, he simply told the dude to walk away and leave you be. You thanked him and started chatting, he made you let loose and be yourself. You always had a wall build and did not let people come close to you, but there was just something about him that made you want to know him more.

When he told you he is back to Korea you were super excited, you had missed your man. You decided to meet up after your work, so you can take a shower and see him at his place. You decided to not wear too much make-up, just some bb cream, it’s going to get ruined anyways so why bother. Your relationship had gotten to the comfortable level real soon, you were okay to go over with some gym shorts and a t-shirt, and that’s what you wore.

When he opened the door he instantly had you in his arms, taking in your presence. The trip was great and he enjoyed it, but he had missed you, it wasn’t the same waking up on an empty bed, while you were miles away. You closed the door with your foot and looked at your boyfriend

“Hey baby”

You said  to him with a smile. He smiled back and locked his lips with yours. You could feel how needy he was, Seonghwa was a great man and veeery affectionate, whenever you were around he must had some physical contact with you, it could be holding hands, or his hand on your leg, anything, so you were not suprised when you felt how eager he was. You pulled back with a smile, taking in his facial features you loved so much.

“How was the trip?”

He huffed. He understood that what he wanted would happen way after he wanted it to happen, you had missed your hometown so you wanted to hear everything.

“It was great, the crowd was very energetic”

“I bet”

You decided to order and rink a couple of beers, while you talked about what happened here and he told you what happened in his trip. After the second beer and when you ate everything you ordered you looked at him, smirking

“Did you miss me?”

“Of course”

He replied. You got on his lap and kissed him, it was time to give him what he wanted

“Should we show eachother how much we did?”

“Yes”

He said. He got up with you still on him, wrapping your legs around his waist, making you let out a small shriek and then a giggle. He led you to the bedroom, while he kissed your lips and any other part of your naked flesh he could find

—————

You woke up from the sound of the doorbell ringing like crazy. You barely opened your eyes and pushed Seonghwa

“The door”

you said, still pushing him. He groaned and sat up, you just turned to the other side and tried to fall asleep again, it was probably the mail man or whatever. But your eyes opened wide when you heard him say

“Mom?”

His mother was here? That’s not good, that’s horrible. You got up and started looking for your clothes, you couldn’t get out of this room, this was not a great first meeting

———

“Why are you so suprised Seonghwa? Is it so bad that I came to see my son?”

His mother said. Leaving him in shock, he was just in his boxers, you were in the other room, his mother standing in the doorway, he didn’t know what to do.

“Are you going to let your mother in?”

She said. He snapped out and moved to the side, he saw her looking around, she was sure not liking what she saw, beer bottles, empty packages, two pair of flip flops (i don’t know how else to call them you guys get it) in the middle of the living room. That’s when she turned to her right and saw a female pair of shoes next to his.

“Seonghwa go get dressed. Tell the girl to come out with you too”

She simply said. He did what he said and basically runned to the bedroom. He found you sitting on the bed, your face pale like his sheets.

“I’m not going out there?”

You said to him. He took his shirt and wore it before he approached you.

Babe she saw your shoes, she knows you are here, it would be rude if you don’t come out"

What he said made sense, you knew that, but it didn’t make it easier for you. You shook your head negatively, you looked like a mess, you could not appear to your boyfriend’s mother with gym shorts and a shirt.

“She will hate me”

“She won’t hate you. Come on jagi, do it for me”

Honestly he didn’t even know what could happen. It could either go really well or really bad, but he wouldn’t say that to you. He put on a pair of pants and held your hand. You might look calm but you were screaming inside, this was not a way you wanted to meet her. You walked out of the room and got to the living room, you bowed to her at a 90 degree and smiled

“Hello”

You said. She smiled and a forced smile and Seonghwa made you sit down directly infront of her.

“So are you his girlfriend?”

“Yes”

You replied. She sized you up with her eyes, making you feel extremely uncomfortable, she looked displeased. Probably did not approve your foreign looks.

“How long have you been together”

“A year and couple of months”

Seonghwa answered for you.

“Why haven’t you introduced her to us?”

She asked. It was your choice, you were too nervous to meet them, meeting his family meant a lot and you wanted them to approve you.

“We wanted to wait”

“I see why”

That was an insult you knew that.

“Why is your place so messy?”

“That’s my fault”

He took the blame. His mother turned to him with a genuine smile on her face

“Son don’t take the blame for her. If she is your woman she needs to take care of you”

“She does”

“It doesn’t look like it. Foreigners don’t think like us Seonghwa”

“mother”

He said to her. He saw how you looked down to the floor, covered in shame, he felt bad for you, he loved you

“She is not good enough for you, look at the way she is dressed”

“mother please”

“You look tired Seonghwa, you lost weight, doesn’t she know how to cook?”

Her words were like knifes, cutting your pride and ego. You felt like trash, his mothers word meant a lot, and she did not approve of you.

“She cooks for me almost every day. She takes care of me and helps me sober up, she is always there to hear my concerns, she loves me and I love her, mother in a few years she will be my wife, how can you talk badly about the future mother of your grandkids”

You were looking at him with wide eyes. You never talked about marriage or kids, and just know he was talking about that infront of his mom. Who was also shocked

“Seonghwa, my son, what are you saying”

“The truth”

He realised what he said after he said it. But he meant every word, he loved you greatly and you were the only woman that made him feel like this, he wanted to talk about you that stuff when the time was right. His mother got up and you both did automatically

“Bring her for a meal with us soon, so we can properly meet the future Lee”

His mother said, she sounded more relaxed. His sons words touched her, she always wanted his son to settle down and have kids, she saw how he spoke for you, it made her realise how much her son loved that girl. Seonghwa smiled and let his mother out, hugging her and then closing the door when she left

“Marriage?Kids?”

You said to him, still shocked. He smiled and wrapped his hands around you.

“Yes, why you don’t want to marry me?”

“Are you proposing?”

You teased him. He smiled and kissed your cheek

“Not yet. I got to find the ring first”

Originally posted by ilsanflower

globree  asked:

Ehh sorry I wasn't on when you were upset my power went out and I had to put my phone down to save the battery

perfectly fine my dude i feel better now anyway 

anonymous asked:

Kaminari ran full-speed at Shouji, and had it not been for as big as the octo-boy was compared to the little electro-kid, he would've been tackled to the ground from the *sheer force* of the hug. "MEZOUHOLYSHITWHEREHAVEYOUBEEN--" Denki cry-yelled at his friend that he hadn't seen for about a week. The guy just had a lot of emotions. ((~ ask-zappyzipper ))

Shouji laughs, hugging Kaminari close in his arms. The force from Kaminari’s hug was enough to knock him a little off-balance, but he kept a firm hold on the little battery dude while he talks. “Hey, Denki! Sorry I left for so long without telling anybody. I’m glad to be back though!” He indulges in pressing his face into Kaminari’s bright hair, grinning down at him as he holds him near.

@ask-zappyzipper (Sorry I didn’t get to this sooner TvT)

@sparks-in-the-dark | the morning after their cuddlefest and him being a human battery bc dude our other thread is angsty. take your time replying though. theres no rush.

Sunshine filled the room, a layer of snow rested outside reflecting the light like a bitter bright mirror. Stephanie was pulled awake by the soft chirping of a bird near their window. Home. It was so familiar.

The sheets weren’t overwhelming warm, but it held a cozy aura to them. Legs intertwined, her feet both pressing against one of his. Head to his chest, his heartbeat steady beneath her ear. She was the first to awake. Like usual. She was always the morning person rather than night owl like him. She’d fall asleep early; he’d work to early morning hours. It was how they functioned for years.

Eyelashes brushing again his nightshirt, her hands in her sleep had wrapped around him as well. She was hugging him close. Sleepiness and unconsciousness showed much more than when someone was conscious. Stretching her legs, a quiet yawn bubbled forth, muffled by his shirt. Her arms loosed their grip, but she was still caught in his embrace.

This was awkward.

But it was still nice.

Fandom loves holiday fics, especially when it provides an opportunity to stick Derek and Stiles in the snow, in awkward family gatherings, or in office holiday parties. Here are a few holiday-themed gems from over the years. For more, be sure to check out the works produced for 12 Days of Sterek and Sterek Secret Santa. And happy holidays, everyone! May the new year bring you joy and many more beautiful Derek-centered stories.

One Last Truce | tomato_greens ( @tomato-greens​ ) | 1,116 | Gen | Sterek | 03 November 2012

Stiles hates Christmas for the reasons that people usually do: the hideous capitalist nightmare of a fat man furtively offering candy and gifts to strange children, the way the fake scent of pine people spray everywhere makes him sneeze, the fact that his mom should be there and isn’t.

on the right track | @halffizzbin | 1,577 | Teen | Sterek | 31 December 2012

Stiles is stuck on a broken-down train instead of dancing with Lydia at a swanky New Year’s Eve party, which sucks. OR DOES IT?

(Basic premise blatantly ripped off from Boy Meets World 3x10, “Train of Fools.”)

Where the treetops glisten | @sixchord​ | 2,996 | Gen | Sterek | 26 March 2013

Derek and Peter run Hale and Hearty Nursery, providing the police station with holiday greenery. When the sheriff comes to the nursery to pick out a Christmas tree, he brings Stiles along. The problem is, Stiles keeps coming back…

Believe | Lenore | 3,022 | Teen | Sterek | 17 December 2012

The Stilinski men are BAMFs, and the evil Christmas elves really don’t stand a chance.

A New Tradition For You | mikkimouse ( @mad-madam-m​ ) | 3,091 | Teen | Sterek | 10 January 2015

Stiles invites Derek to spend Christmas with him.

The Road Home | @alocalband | 3,110 | Teen | Sterek | 21 December 2015

“What,” Stiles says, and he’s aware that he doesn’t quite make it a question, but he currently can’t feel his toes so he figures he’s allowed.

“Do you want a ride home or not?” Derek huffs impatiently, each word forming a visible cloud in the cold night air as he digs around in the Jeep’s trunk to grab as many bags as he can carry and transfer them to his own car.

Waiting for Winter | Twice_Shy ( @notboldly ) | 3,207 | Gen | Sterek | 09 December 2015

Everyone had a soulmark, a special shape on their body that formed during childhood and was meant to lead each person to their soulmate.

Unfortunately, Derek’s soulmark is shaped like a snowflake, and that fact has been actively ruining his life since he was six years old.

Keep reading

snippet-of-rose  asked:

hey hey awesome job you guys do! Do you have any fics where maybe Stiles needs a new car because the jeep dies *cries* and Derek helps him get through the emotions of getting a new car? Sorry if it's too specific

um i found these where the jeep needs to be fixed but nothing about stiles getting a new car

Camaro’s keys are in the kitchen counter. by CiaLahey (1/1 | 358 | G)

Rosco can’t be fix.
Everything around Stiles is going down.
Then, a text.
Camaro’s keys.
Derek?

Fade and Then Return by paintedrecs (bon) (1/1 | 15,036 | PG13)

Holy shit, Stiles texted Scott, fumbling to get the words out before he had to actually interact with the driver. The battery guy is literally the most attractive person I’ve ever seen. Or imagined. It’s possible I’m dreaming.

***

When Stiles reluctantly called for emergency roadside assistance to help with his beloved Jeep’s dead battery, the last thing he expected was to form a connection with the Hot Battery Dude, who showed up in fluorescent yellow pants with heartbreaking news for his wallet and a surprising connection to his past.

It was only logical, then, for Stiles to invite him home for Christmas…right?

Fuchsia by JessicaMDawn (1/1 | 1,506 | G)

Stiles doesn’t like to take his shirt off. Derek finds out why when he helps Stiles fix the Jeep (which he may have broken). Sometimes everyone needs something to anchor them. 

cudlsquared  asked:

Do you know of any fics that are about Stiles' jeep or are heavily centered around his jeep? As always you guys are AWESOME! Thank you!

i sure do friend

It’s a Jeep Thing by riventhorn (1/1 | 2,629 | PG13)

On the day she arrived at the Stilinski home, the Sheriff stayed in the driver’s seat for twenty minutes, fingers kneading her steering wheel anxiously. He had been muttering to himself the entire way back from the lot, all variations on: Am I insane? How can I give this to him? He’s going to kill someone. He’s going to kill himself.

Stiles’s Jeep’s pov on werewolves, hyperactive teen boys, and Derek Hale.

Fade and Then Return by paintedrecs (bon) (1/1 | 15,036 | PG13)

Holy shit, Stiles texted Scott, fumbling to get the words out before he had to actually interact with the driver. The battery guy is literally the most attractive person I’ve ever seen. Or imagined. It’s possible I’m dreaming.

***

When Stiles reluctantly called for emergency roadside assistance to help with his beloved Jeep’s dead battery, the last thing he expected was to form a connection with the Hot Battery Dude, who showed up in fluorescent yellow pants with heartbreaking news for his wallet and a surprising connection to his past.

It was only logical, then, for Stiles to invite him home for Christmas…right?

Sparks by Mina Lightstar (ukefied) (1/1 | 4,672 | PG13)

“Come on, let’s go. You can’t fight a twenty-foot tall robot!”

And then Derek just gives him this LOOK, like he COULD, and it sends Stiles into a homicidal rage.

Life seems to be calming down in Beacon Hills, until Stiles’s jeep gets a mysterious overnight paint job. Also, it can drive itself, which is not nearly as convenient as you’d think.

Betty & Leona by disseria (1/1 | 488 | G)

Stiles’ Jeep has a thing for Derek’s Camaro

youtube

I made a video for Battery Dude’s sponsorship contest so PLEASE WATCH, LIKE, & SHARE! ☆“ヽ(´▽`)ノ”