But seriously tho, on the topic of temperatures we can survive and stuff, aliens would flip the heck out if they lived where i do.
I live in a part of southern Canada that gets so cold that being outside for more than 2 minutes means you have a good chance of getting frost bite.
My room has two outside walls, and is very well insulated. In the winter i get frost on the inside of my walls and i couldnt give two shits. I sleep with the exact same blankets i do in the summer.
Like you see all these things about Australia, or rainforests, or Florida, and how extreme they are.
But id like to see aliens take on a candian hosehead. They’re like red necks, but with more crazy stunts, more beer, and more guns. Like can you imagine???
Alien: ah yes a nice cool region this will do nicely for the invasian
Human: *careens off building on a ski doo towing another man on a toboggan, hollering about how he left his beer at the lodge*
Alien: well perhaps the local species are a bit strange, but mostly harmless! After all, this species of humans “can-ayy-dee-ins” are known throughout this planet as kind and docile, we shall have no difficu-SMACK- HOLY GILSNIP YOU HIT ME WITH A PEICE OF ICE YOU PRIES FROM THE LAKE AND NOW IM BLEEDING HOW DARE YOU FEEL MY WRATH
Humans: WEEEE HEEEHEHEEEEE you came to the wrong neighbour hood, bud!
Alien:…. my scans say you are heavily intoxicated. This shall be a easy fight
Human: *whistles loudly and gives a big toothy smile*
Alien: starts screaming as another human on a sled heads a MASSIVE HEARD OF WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BEAST ITS FURY AND IT HAS BEEN HORNS GREAT GILSNAP GET ME OUT OF HERE
Humans: high fiving as they climb on their sleds and chase after their herd of buffalo because that will take a while but it was ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT DID YOU SEE THAT ALIENS FACE GET REKT
Please stop praising Taylor Swift for “reclaiming the snake”.
She got caught out in several lies and STILL continued to play the victim (don’t even get me started on how she’s played into the innocent white female narrative) - something she’s built her whole damn career on.
What she’s doing by “reclaiming the snake” is pretty much saying she has nothing to apologise for. And YET AGAIN making herself out to be someone to be pitied and to rally behind because she’s so brave and she’s the underdog. It’s frustrating and embarrassing and the fact that she’s STILL using this whole narrative just shows that she hasn’t learned anything.
DM: So your party encounters a gray slime.
Me: a slime, huh?
Cleric: Like— like… a slime?
Knight: *brief pause* I swim in it.
DM: Uh. Okay, so you swim in it. It starts to envelop you a little.
Knight: Oh, uh. I get out.
DM: Strength check.
DM: Yeah, that’s good. You, you get out of the slime but not without having some of it stick to you. It’s kind of gross.
Knight: Well I—
Me, at the top of my lungs: I FLIRT WITH THE SLIME!!!!!!
DM: You what? Wh— okay, you know what? Roll. I’ll allow it.
(I roll a nat 20. Everyone at the table goes batshit insane)
DM: The slime takes on a humanoid shape, gets down on one knee, and proposes. What do you say?
Me, sweating nervously: Um. I say yes?
DM: congratulations. You’re fifteen and engaged to a slime.
⊰MOODBOARD⊱BILL WEASLEY + FLEUR DELACOUR; some day i’d like to lay on my back in the sistine chapel with you, two beings beneath an unearthly ceiling, trying to remember how to be holy. yours, i’m sure, is the type of beauty michelangelo tried to capture in his careful brushstrokes. (words.)
So, going by the tags on my recent jump gifsets, the difference between jumps is apparently still a source of great bewilderment for some people. Now I could link you to some excellent posts on the topic, but since I am, as usual, an extra lil piece of dirt with too much work to do and a lifetime’s worth of procrastination, I’ve decided to put together my own layman’s guide to identifying figure skating jumps (stressed on the layman part).
First, here be a flowchart, since everybody loves flowcharts, right?
If the flowchart works as intended and you can now tell the jumps apart, great! If you need a bit more explanation and illustration, read on.
matt and lance are the Memes™ of team voltron, but they have different styles of humor. matt is a classic punmaster. the thing is, he also makes a shitton of anime jokes, so he basically has the humor of the child of middle schooler, a minecraft youtuber, and a dad, all mixed together by the devil himself. lance, on the other hand, is a like class clown. he likes to joke about batshit situations voltron is in, and, occasionally, he complains about how no one ever listens to him but in like…a lighthearted way? sometimes he makes self deprecating jokes. together, they are a force to be reckoned with. shiro gets a headache every time they’re in a room with each other.
WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.
This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.
But since humans are super hard to kill and try to be friends with everything, a common unspoken rule in space is that if a human is afraid, you better be pissing yourself in fear.
So the crew hears a scream from the quarters, and a crew member rushes to see what’s happening.
“Human Jane, what’s the problem? Are you hurt!?”
and she just fukin shrieks “SPIDERRRRRRR!!!!!” and everyone goes batshit insane and spiders are cataloged as extremely dangerous death creatures.
But then on another ship, a human crew member asks if they can bring a small pet, and it is approved as long as the human can prove that it’s not dangerous.
So they pull like a tarantula out of its little cage and let it crawl all over them and the other crew members stare in horror as the human just pets their eight-legged death beast and coos at it like a baby.