batman-the-red-hood

  • <p> <b>How media usually portrays experienced older Bruce:</b> stoic, more serious and angsty. He has become isolated and cut off connection to the rest of the Batfam<p/><b>How older Bruce actually should be:</b> "I have seven children and counting and they all are trying to drive me to drink," as he sips black coffee from a World's Best Dad mug with pictures of all his children on the wall behind him.

batman fans who only saw the movies: the joker is the best villain ever, he is such an intricate and profound character and he challenges batman in a way no one else could ever by exposing the unpopular yet harsh reality of life

batman fans who read the comics: the joker is a piece of shit i hope he dies choking on five of jason todd’s guns and stays dead and forgotten

Batfam as things my fam has said

Dick: *tells a joke*

*silence*

Dick: Okay, but when it’s about my life, everyone laughs.

——————–

Jason: I’m really trying, and it’s just not working.

Tim: There is no try. Only do.

Jason: I don’t think Star Wars is really going to help me right now.

Tim: *scoffs* Shows what you know.

Dick: You know, I’m proud he got that reference.

——————-

Jason: *messes up*

Bruce: *addresses the younger kids* Okay, he’s older. That means you should all learn from his mistakes or risk being just as much of a fuck-up.

Jason: Dad!

Bruce: *raises an eyebrow*

Jason: *sighs* It’s true.

——————-

Bruce: Okay Tim, you need some sleep.

Tim: You know, I’ve got enough problems in my life without you shoving your mainstream ideals and corporate agendas down my throat.

Bruce: …?

Tim: Yeah, goodnight.

———————

Dick: Okay, but if cotton shirts shrink when they get wet, does that mean sheep shrink when they get wet?

Jason: Bro, sheep produce wool.

Dick: Really?

Jason: Cotton comes from a fucking plant.

Dick: *in a small voice* So…sheep….don’t shrink…..when they get….wet….?

Tim: I think your brain shrinks when it gets wet.

———————–

Damian: *walks into the kitchen at 12:00 a.m.* *sees Dick laying on the table crying*

Damian: So this is adulthood.

*like a month after that*

Damian: *walks into the kitchen late at night again* *sees Jason sitting in front of the fridge just staring while holding a jug of milk*

Damian: Is this like a thing? Does every adult in this family have mental breakdowns in the kitchen late at night?

Bruce: You’ll understand it someday.

Damian: *turns the light on* *sees Bruce sitting on the counter with a single piece of bread*

Damian: What was I born into?

———————–

*at McDonald’s*

Dick and Jason: *get their own food*

Tim and Damian: *have to share*

Damian: Dad, that’s not fair. Why do we have to share?

Jason: Because we’re older, nimrod. We’ve paid our dues.

Dick: Yeah. I’m older than all of you. Dad had to raise me before he knew what the fuck he was doing.

Bruce: Jokes on all of you. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

———————

Jason: *ruins the end of a movie the others haven’t seen*

Dick: You know, there’s a special place in hell for people like you.

Damian: Yeah, it’s this family.

——————–

*at the pediatrician’s*

Bruce and Damian: *waiting for the doctor*

Bruce: *starts opening the cabinets* *finds the latex gloves* *starts stuffing them in his pockets*

Damian: Um, Dad? What are you doing…?

Bruce: I use these when I’m working. I like the ones from my doctor better. These are all meant for small hands.

Damian: Well maybe you shouldn’t be stealing from your son’s pediatrician then—or your doctor for that matter.

Bruce: Maybe your pediatrician shouldn’t have such small hands.

Damian: That is so not the problem with this situation.

(I know Bruce is hella rich, but my fam isn’t. lolol)

——————-

*getting free samples from the store*

Bruce: Okay, Jason take your jacket off and go up there again. She’s elderly and will probably think your someone else.

Jason: *rolls his eyes* *goes anyway*

Dick: Dad, that is horrible.

Bruce: Do you want lunch son? 

Dick: Yes?

Bruce: Okay then. Roll your shorts up, put your hair in a ponytail, and pretend you’re my daughter.

Tim: We’re all going to hell.

———————

Dick, Tim and Jason: *fighting over what movie to watch*

Damian: *gives a suggestion* *gets ignored*

Dick, Tim and Jason: *keep fighting*

Damian: Hello!

Dick, Tim and Jason: *still ignore him* *still fighting*

Damian: I DEMAND ATTENTION, YOU ASSHOLES!

Dick, Tim and Jason: *turn to Damian in shock*

Damian: That’s right. I am capable of speaking. I may be the youngest, but I still exist.

———————-

Jason: Hey, Dick?

Dick: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE!

Jason: What’s wrong with him?

Tim: Someone ate all the Lucky Charms.

———————-

Jason: How do you know when a fish is dead?

Dick: That’s an ominous question.

Jason: But like, how do you know?

Dick: I don’t know. Usually if they’re upside down at the top of the water.

Jason: So…laying at the bottom of the bowl all pale and colorless probably means dead, right?

Dick: JASON WHAT DID YOU DO?

Jason: I DON’T KNOW! I think I fed him too much. I mean, he just kept eating. I figured he was just that hungry!

Dick: Damian is going to kill you.

Jason: This is like his fifth fish. How attached could he have been, really?

———————–

Damian: I thought I said that this family was banned from going anywhere near my fish. Why do you all keep killing my pets? Dad freaking swallowed one!

Jason: Wow Dad. I just overfed one. At least I didn’t eat it. 

Bruce: That wasn’t my fault! You shouldn’t be putting them in water bottles!

Damian: I WAS CLEANING HIS BOWL!

———————–

Tim: Why is the world against me?

Damian: Is that rhetorical or would you like me to answer?

———————–

Dick: *wakes up* I really feel like today is going to be a good day.

Dick: *spills his bowl of cereal on himself*

Dick: I’m going to go to bed now.

Bruce: Dick, you just woke up.

Dick: Well the world doesn’t seem to care!

————————

Tim: Can you have a midlife crisis at 17?

Damian: I don’t even think I’ll make it to 17.

Jason: I’m pretty sure I died the day I turned 19.

Dick: I’ve been having a midlife crisis for the past three years.

Tim: So that’s a yes.

————————

Bruce: I miss being young and childless.

Jason: As your child, that’s just so nice to hear.

————————-

Bruce: Why aren’t you in school right now?

Dick: Dad, why does life feel like an endless abyss of self-loathing and humiliation?

Bruce:

Bruce: I’m just going to call and say you have the flu.


What we’ve learned from Jason’s dialogue in Injustice 2

Now that I’ve pitted Jason against everyone in Injustice 2 and listened to their dialogue, I’ve found very interesting plot points. Whether the Injustice comics are going to follow them or ignore them completely to create a brand new story, this is what we have about Jason Todd (aka Red Hood) in the Injustice universe. Fanfiction writers, feel free to use this information ;)

  • Jason is a neutral character but leans towards Batman’s side. He tells Dinah that they’re on the same team, but he also states that he goes his own way and that he is his own boss. 
  • He states numerous times that he hates the regime (You’ve gone far enough Superman. There’s wrong and then there’s worse. You still represent the regime? I’m not with the regime). 
  • Even though he agrees that some criminals need to die, he doesn’t want to kill all of them. (Even I have limits. There’s far and then there’s too far. I’m not out to kill every criminal.)
  • It’s implied that he used to be on Superman’s side but betrayed them, as seen with Wonder Woman’s dialogue (You’re a traitor and a criminal.) and Cyborg (Turned on us fast enough.)
  • Strained relationship with Batman. Bruce asks if he plans to disappoint him again, that he’s too reckless and claims that he’s blind to what he became, Jason tells him that he’s the hero Gotham deserves and that Bruce should step aside.
  • It is hinted that Bruce wants him to go to his side, as Dinah chastises him for being a jerk to Bruce and Vixen tells him that he would have welcomed Jason back with open arms. Jason doesn’t believe them.
  • He doesn’t like Kryptonians, probably because of Superman’s tyrannical reign, he doesn’t trust people with so much power. He tells both Supergirl and Power Girl that there aren’t good Kryptonians.
  • Batman trusts him enough to train both Blue Beetle and Firestorm. 
  • He’s on bad terms with Damian and warns him that he used to think like him.
  • It is hinted that he’s looking for redemption from his dialogue with Darkseid (Redemption is hard to find for killers like you.)
  • He considers himself as someone with nothing to lose. 
  • Jason is young. His age was not confirmed, but Superman calls him a kid (same dialogue he uses with Beetle and Firestorm who are both 18 years old), Black Adam calls him a child. Considering his high pitched voice, it is probable that he’s around Damian’s age biologically (who is around 18/19 years old).
  •  Everyone knows that he was the second Robin.
  • He’s a self-proclaimed anti-hero and Outlaw. (Outlaws can be heroes too!)
  • He actually says “You only live twice!”.
  • Mentions that he was dead a lot (I’m a dead man walking. Been dead, done that.)
  • Harley thinks he’s cute. She calls him ‘Robin Hood’. 
  • Catwoman doesn’t seem to like him, she tells him that she always knew he was trouble and calls him a murderer. Jason doesn’t resent her, but he actually sounds sad when he asks her to show him what made her impress Bruce so much (probably longing for Bruce’s approval too, since both he and Selina walk the gray line but Selina got to stay by Batman’s side).
  •  Even though Jason claims to work by himself, when he faces a villain he says that he’s going to bring their head to Batman.