batman stuffs

I live for Bruce totally brushing off shit-bag reporters who try to bring up his parent’s to get a reaction from him for their story.

“Mr Wayne? What do you think your parents would say about this fundraiser, if they were still alive? Do you think they’d be proud of you?”

“They would probably say that the line for the desserts is looking particularly short right now” and he just…. walks away and grabs some ice cream. There he goes

the first few weeks of the justice league actually being a team are probably a fucking nightmare. superman keeps using midwestern expressions. you’re not going to need paper towels to clean this up, you’re gonna need an irrigation system, he says. nobody is entirely sure what that means. aquaman keeps leaving in the middle of fights to go save lobsters from restaurants, because he can’t just let them get eaten, y'know? wonder woman quickly figures out that there’s maybe three people here with any serious combat experience. the flash is just a police officer, man. that’s all he knows. she’s in despair. speaking of the flash, someone made the mistake of giving him caffienated coffee, and now the power’s out. someone tell green lantern that he can’t wear the same gross jacket to every meeting. shouldn’t his space cop uniform keep him warm. who keeps playing ‘mmm whatcha say’ over the speakers. batman keeps disappearing during after battles, and it turns out he’s at the daycare down the street hanging out with the babies. he got bored