The light flooded in around you as a bag was ripped off your head. You coughed as someone removed the gag from your mouth. Looking up, you saw the all too familiar face of the Joker.
“Are you kidding me?” you asked, spitting out a piece of hair stuck in your mouth.
“What?” he asked with a sickening smile.
“It’s Christmas Eve, you can’t kidnap me.” He laughed and walked across the room to pick up a phone.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Bats will come and get ya.”
“I’m sure he will. We had plans for tonight.”
“What? Were you gonna open little bat-presents? And stay up all night to see if the Batman really exists?!” he asked with a giggle. You rolled your eyes.
“Something like that.” He giggled and picked up the phone. He twirled around in his chair as it rang.
“Ah, Batsy!” he said with a wicked grin, looking over at you. “I’ve got a Christmas present for you!” You couldn’t hear the other line of the phone call, but the Joker giggled again as his eyes widened. “You’ve been peaking, haven’t you, Batman! That’ll surely get you on the naughty list!” Again, there was a pause and the Joker laughed again. “I’ll give you an hour, or else your turtle dove is toast! See ya real soon, Batman,” he said, and hung up the phone. He spun around and faced you again.
“Who was that?” you asked sarcastically. He giggled and clapped his hands together.
“I like your wit, Y/N. Maybe I should keep you around for longer! We’ll have to see what the Batman does!” As he laughed again, you heard a crash from outside. A small smile fell on your face. You had started to worry less about the Joker harming you because you knew that Bruce would always be there for you. Now, all that really worried you was the fact that every time he took you, it was always at the most inconvenient time.
The Joker heard the sound, too, and stopped laughing. He stood up, an angry look on his face now making his makeup look quite ridiculous. He glanced out the window and groaned.
“It can’t be the Bat. Not yet.”
“You’re getting predictable, Joker,” you said. He walked towards you and grabbed onto your face, pulling you closer to him.
“Yes.” A batarang went flying across the room, striking the top of the Joker’s hand, making him drop your face. “Get your hands off of her,” Batman said. The Joker laughed and wiped his blood off on his pants.
“Bats, I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”
“I guess I’m the unpredictable one,” he said, walking closer to you. He glanced down at you, checking to make sure that you were alright. You nodded and he moved onto the Joker.
“You know, I just can’t get my head around this. Why does this girl always get you so riled up? Is this the Bat-girlfriend? Is she the key to finding out who the Batman really is?” Bruce stalked closer to him and punched him in the face.
“Shut up,” he said.
“Is she?” the Joker asked with a laugh, wiping his nose with his already bloodied hand. “That’s the real secret I want to know. Who is the Batman? Is it my dad dressed up in a costume to leave me presents under the tr-” Bruce punched him again, knocking him out.
“That was quick,” you said. He laughed a little and ran over to untie you. He took your hand and started walking towards the door. “What about him?”
“Gordon is on his way.”
“Doesn’t he have kids to be with?”
“The Joker doesn’t take holidays.”
Once you got home, both Alfred and Bruce continued to ask you if you were feeling alright. You assured them that you were fine, and proceeded with your Christmas Eve plans. You sent Alfred home early and you and Bruce changed into new pajamas. You and he snuggled up on the couch, ready to watch It’s a Wonderful Life when he looked over at you.
“What?” you asked.
“Nothing.” You rolled your eyes and paused the movie.
“Bruce, what is it?”
“I’m worried that the Joker is right. What if he keeps taking you? What if he finds out my secret? What if he hurts you?”
“That’s not gonna happen. We’ll get better security. Right now he just assumes were working and sleeping together. He’s never taken me from the house, I’m sure it’s going to be fine.”
“That doesn’t mean that he won’t hurt you.” You smiled and brushed back a piece of hair that had fallen into your face.
“No, you’re right. But, that’s why I know what I want for Christmas.” Bruce laughed and scrunched up his eyebrows as he looked at the Christmas tree that had a mountain of presents under it.
“It seems a little bit late to be asking for something else,” he said. You smiled and took his hand.
“Well this is the only thing I really want. You can take that all back or give it away.” Bruce shook his head.
“Okay, so what is this magical gift that you want?”
“I want you to teach me how to fight.”
“At least just how to defend myself. That way I won’t fall prey to the Joker’s traps. Please, Bruce. It’s better for both of us in the long run. I’m sick of doing this every couple of weeks.”
“I know,” he said with a sigh. “I am, too. But I don’t want to put you in more danger by training you.”
“How would that put me in more danger?”
“I wouldn’t want you to get ahead of yourself.” You shot him a look. “Everyone I’ve ever taught has tried to do it, and has gotten hurt.”
“Well you’re not training me to become a vigilante, you’re teaching me to defend myself. There’s a big difference.”
“I don’t know.”
“Bruce, please. You can take back that horrible sweater you got from the mall.” He opened his mouth and then closed it, smiling at you in confusion.
“How did you know about that?”
“Dick and I peaked.” He laughed and shook his head again.
“This is really all you want?” he asked.
“Yes.” He sighed again.
“Okay. We’ll start training on the 26th.” You smiled and threw your arms around him.
“Thank you, thank you.” You pulled back a little and kissed him. “I love you. Now tell me what you want for Christmas. Whatever you want.” He smiled and tightened his grip on your waist.
“This is all I want,” he said, pulling you closer. You smiled and let him pull you into his lap and started kissing him again, just as you hit play on the movie and an ember in the fire sparked.
“I love you,” you said again.
“I love you, too. Merry Christmas,” he said, looking over at the clock that just struck 12:00 before closing the gap between the two of you.
“And there’s plenty more where that came from Batsy.”
I was reading Batman #25 during my flight when I came across THIS! REALLY? Batman views the first scars he receives from The Joker as his first ‘kiss’ from Gotham!!? OMG SCOTT STAP! Could you be any less subtle? :D
#26. BATMAN: ASSAULT ON ARKHAM #25.
JUSTICE LEAGUE: WAR #24. ALL
STAR SUPERMAN #23.
SUPERMAN UNBOUND #22. BATMAN
VS ROBIN #21. BATMAN
BAD BLOOD #20. JUSTICE
LEAGUE: THRONE OF ATLANTIS #19.
SUPERMAN/BATMAN: APOCALYPSE #18. WONDER
WOMAN #17. SON OF
BATMAN #16. JUSTICE
LEAGUE VS TEEN TITANS #15. BATMAN:
THE KILLING JOKE #14. BATMAN:
GOTHAM KNIGHT #13.
SUPERMAN DOOMSDAY #12.
JUSTICE LEAGUE THE NEW FRONTIER #11.
SUPERMAN/BATMAN: PUBLIC ENEMIES
LANTERN: FIRST FLIGHT #9. JUSTICE
LEAGUE: DOOM #8. BATMAN
YEAR ONE #7.
SUPERMAN VS THE ELITE #6. GREEN
LANTERN: EMERALD KNIGHTS #5. BATMAN:
UNDER THE RED HOOD #4. JUSTICE
LEAGUE: CRISIS ON TWO EARTHS #3. JUSTICE
LEAGUE: THE FLASHPOINT PARADOX #2. JUSTICE
LEAGUE: GODS AND MONSTERS #1. BATMAN:
THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS
At first, I was somewhat hesitant to do the role [“Batman Begins”]. I mean, after all, Batman is an icon. But I remember, as clear as day, being at the grocery store the day the movie opened, and this little boy saw me. He couldn’t have been more than five years old. He just walked right up to me and hugged me. He hugged me, and I was so moved by it that I hugged him back. Then he looked up at me and said, “You’re my hero.” And in that moment, I knew that not only as an actor that I had done my job, but that I had made the right decision to play Batman. And I’ve never looked back on my the decision to play Batman since.
Written by TOM KING • Art and cover by MIKEL JANIN • Variant cover by TIM SALE
“The War of Jokes and Riddles” part one! Don’t miss this extra-sized anniversary issue! In his own words, Bruce Wayne narrates a harrowing, never-before-told story of the Dark Knight’s greatest failure…and the horrors it unleashed! In the spirit of YEAR ONE and THE LONG HALLOWEEN, prepare to see a side of Batman you’ve never seen before—get in on the ground floor of a classic Batman epic in the making!
On sale JUNE 21 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T
2015: May 1: Avengers: Age of Ultron July 17: Ant-Man August 7: Fantastic Four (Fox)
2016: February 12: Deadpool (Fox) March 25: Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice May 6: Captain America: Civil War May 27: X-Men: Apocalypse (Fox)
August 5: Suicide Squad October 7: Gamit (new addition) November 4: Doctor Strange November 11: Sinister Six (Sony)
2017: March 3: Untitled Wolverine sequel (Fox) May 5: Guardians of the Galaxy 2 June 2: Fantastic Four 2 (Fox, moved dates) June 23: Wonder Woman July 28: Thor: Ragnarok November 3: Black Panther November 17: Justice League, Part 1 (unspecified date): Untitled Sony femaleSpider-Man spin-off (unspecified tentative date): Sony Venom: CarnageSpider-Man spin-off (rumored to be dead)
2018: March 23: The Flash May 4: Avengers: Infinity War, Part 1 July 6: Captain Marvel July 13: Untitled Fox Mystery Marvel film July 27: Aquaman November 2: Inhumans (unspecified date): Amazing Spider-Man 3
2019: April 5: Shazam May 3: Avengers: Infinity War, Part 2 June 14: Justice League, Part 2