12 Unspoken Girl Code Rules For The Women’s Bathroom Every Girl Must Follow

1) Respect when someone has to poop

If you enter a stall to do your thing and the female in the neighboring stall is sitting there not doing anything, she clearly needs to poop. You should finish as quickly as possible and vacate the bathroom, since she can’t go with you there.  

Sometimes we want to just take a quick break in the bathroom, but if someone else in there is clearly waiting for alone time, give it to her.

Proper Bathroom Etiquette

This is an important subject and it must be discussed! I know that it is a faux-pas but that’s ok. I have to teach people how important these matters are! I am not here to criticize anyone, but to teach and inform

1. Never talk to me while I am in the bathroom. I don’t care if we are good friends, roommates, peers, or my professor! DO NOT DO IT! The only time this is acceptable is if the building is on fire, there is a man with a gun on the loose or Rachel McAdams is in the building. 

2. In the men’s restroom we need to pass legislation that requires dividers between urinals! I will not use urinals that are just out in the open without dividers. Rubbing thighs is not ok in any bathroom situation.

3. If you are in the bathroom and I am in a stall just expect for me to wait for you to leave. Jostling the door over and over will not hurry me up, in fact it will only hunker me down more. 

4. Wash your hands. You are the reason that new bathrooms don’t have doors anymore! That’s just disgusting. I hate having to wash my hands to only grab that handle and get germs back on them because YOU didn’t wash them.

5. I am sure you have a lovely voice there sir, and I am sure I could appreciate it in a different forum. However this isn’t the place to sing Luck Be A Lady Tonight while using the urinal next to me. It gives me performance anxiety and I can’t go. ( so happened at a casino in Las Vegas )

6. Above all just remember this is a private time and a time to practice hygiene. When we enter that room everything stops spinning until we get back out. We don’t discuss what happened in there when we leave either. It’s as if it never happened. OK! Great thanks. 

Quick Parenting ProTip

You have to tell kids everything. Fucking everything. Really.

Little example:

Daddy: (noticing empty tp holder) “Hey, did you just poop?”

eBoy: “Yeah”

Daddy: “How did you wipe your butt without any paper?”

eBoy: “I didn’t”

Daddy: :-\

eBoy: :-)

Daddy: “Um, so you just got up and that was that?”

eBoy: “Yeah”

Daddy: “Did you know you could use Kleenex instead?”

eBoy: “No”

Daddy: “Okay please keep that in mind for future reference. Or you can just scream at the top of your lungs that there’s no tp. Got that?”

eBoy: “Okay Daddy.”

Quick Tips: Bathroom Etiquette
  • Safety first. Be aware of your environment and the attitudes that might transverse through it. If you ever feel like your well being will be threatened depending on what bathroom you use, hold it and locate a bathroom in a less threatening area. 
  • For guys who don’t always pass, walk with intention. We all dread having an old lady kindly announce what bathroom you’re walking into, but if you walk with confidence it shows that you know exactly where you’re going, because you belong there. 
  • STP (stand to pee) or squat, the truth is no one cares. Guys rarely observe who else is in the restroom, they avoid eye contact and speaking. The only time I’ve ever heard a guy comment on seeing someone was squatting/sitting, was at a busy club that only had one stall. He announced really loudly that someone else was pooping and when I exited, he stumbled in afterwards to relieve himself. 
  • Locating safe bathrooms that are either gender neutral, single occupancy or less frequented is always a good idea and can decrease anxieties surrounding using the restroom in public.

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