the signs as quotes from the bath and body works rant video
  • Aries: "I don't know, I've been busy taking care of BITCHES ALL FUCKING DAY!"
  • Taurus: "So if you don't like swearing or angry people from Wisconsin, turn your mother effing camera off"
  • Gemini: "And that bitch Jen? You know what I'm gonna do, Jen? I'm calling your district manager"
  • Cancer: *sniffs peach bellini candle*
  • Leo: "You know what this goddamn 'Jen' says to me?"
  • Virgo: "I don't NEED any more coupons!"
  • Libra: "Ohhhh, Jen. Your ass. Your ass is gonna get reamed."
  • Scorpio: "Jen from Appleton needs to check her shit out"
  • Sagittarius: "There's barely anybody in the FRICKING store!"
  • Capricorn: "A live person? Who the FUCK do you think I'm talking to now?"
  • Aquarius: "It was just a really, really bad situation that ended badly."
  • Pisces: "She gave me my peach bellinis, and I was on my merry fucking way"