batcaver

Batboys Headcanon (+Bruce): The S/O Knows

Notes: This is headcanons for the Batboys, involving an S/O that is aware they are a superhero but just never brings it into conversation. I hope you enjoy, dude!

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Taglist: @followeroonieclassic@instantangelstudent@puggleprincess@robincoalition


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  • at superman's secret base: fortress of solitude, complete silence, memoir for the fallen krypton, v serious place, only 3 people granted access
  • at batman's secret base: I AM 200% SURE I DID NOT ADOPT THAT ONE, SOMEONE TELL ME WHY DAMIAN IS LICKING THE DINOSAUR, WHICH ONE OF U BRATS BLED ALL OVER THE BATHROOM, WHO LET THE GREEN FLASHLIGHT IN HERE, ALFRED!!!!

You know what I want?
I want in the Justice League movie for Diana to see the Robin suit in the Batcave, ask about it and have Bruce walk away silently.
I want later in the movie for her to say, “I’ve lost friends in wars before.” And I want Bruce to respond, in the most pained voice, “but have you ever lost a son?”
I want Alfred talking about it with her, telling her what happened.
I want acknowledgement of Jason Todd’s death as Robin in the Justice League movie.

Young Justice team when asked what they think about Batman

Kaldur: “He is a wise and trustworthy leader. I respect him highly and never doubt his decisions." 

Conner: "Guy’s a jerk." 

M'gann: "Batman? He scares me. He’s always glaring silently as if planning to kill us or something. Once I tried reading his mind, but all I heard was echoes. It’s creepy." 

Wally: "Pfft, Bats? Please, the guy’s a total pushover. Once I was over their place and Robin and I made a blanket fort in the Batcave, and you know what Batman did? He just walked out of there and worked somewhere else. He’s probably nicer than my own parents." 

Artemis: "Literally the only person in the universe I don’t want to mess with, which says a lot cuz I’ll fight anyone." 

Robin: "B and I are going out for ice cream after patrol.” :) 

  • [at the batcave]
  • Dick Grayson: Wait for it, wait for it. 9:01. Barbara Gordon is officially late for the first time ever. Alright, let's do this. Who's got theories?
  • Tim Drake: Her alarm didn't go off.
  • Dick Grayson: All three alarms, all with battery backups? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?
  • Jason Todd: Ooh! She was taken by the Joker in her sleep.
  • Dick Grayson: That's what I'm talking about. Super dark, Jason, but way more plausible than Tim's idiotic alarm clock theory.
  • Damian Wayne: I bet she tucked herself in her bed too tight and got stuck.
  • Stephanie Brown: Mmm, maybe she fell into another dimension.
  • Bruce Wayne: [enters batcave]
  • Bruce Wayne: It's 9:00 A.M. Why is no one working?
  • Cassandra Cain: Barbara is a few minutes late, and we're all trying to guess why.
  • Bruce Wayne: I'd like to play. I'd say... She's in line at the bank. This is fun.
  • Dick Grayson: It is fun, but you're all wrong. She clearly slipped through a subway grate and is having terrible sex with a mole man.
  • Barbara Gordon: [appears in the screen of the batcomputer]
  • Dick Grayson: There she is! [mock-freaking out] Babs! Where have you been?! Explain yourself!
  • Barbara Gordon: I'm just 70 seconds late, it's not a big deal, don't worry about it.
  • Bruce Wayne: [mock-serious] Barbara, you will tell us and you will tell us now.
  • Barbara Gordon: There was a problem at the bank...
  • Bruce Wayne: [claps his hands together] HOT DAMN!

anonymous asked:

you know so much about bruce, please tell us some less know traits about him or just random facts or even headcanons please i love it when you talk about bruce!!!

oh my gosh, i love this ask. i’m glad you like it when i talk about bruce because i love talking about bruce and am always looking for the excuse to. ~just vengeance things~ include:

  • he is, actually, very sweet to civilians. he would sacrifice his identity if it meant saving a single person, and yes i can confirm his weakness is actually babies the ratio of times batman has held a baby compared to other characters is absolutely insane. and in BTAS, there’s an episode where he rescues a little girl and comes back to visit her just to make sure she’s okay. and in the BTAS tie-in comics, he rescued people’s pets, kept kids out of traffic, helped put out fires, the works. and also he went out of his way to find dick’s teddy bear
  • he has a sense of humor! i promise you! he just saves it for when no one’s looking, which is what he does with every trait someone might possibly misconstrue as cute. gotham knights made it canon that he talks to the bats in the batcave. he probably talks to them about cases when nobody else is around to bounce ideas off of
  • bruce paid for a class field trip after jason died because helping kids made the loss more bearable - he also visits troubled kids in canon and takes an active role in their life, to the point where one time he was concerned about kids he sponsored getting in a bad way and showed up literally at their house, because despite having 708983 responsibilities as batman he still makes time for that
  • this fucker has protocols in place for contacting him. the JL have to go through a goddamn system to get 5 minutes with him, and you just know it’s an excuse so bruce has to talk to people less, you just know it. also, this is in the same comic where plastic man recruits bruce to scare his wayward son straight, bruce is nervous about scaring a kid, and gives patrick an actual compliment (“of all of us, even clark, i thought you would make the best father. because i thought you would be the kind of father that would show his children that he loved them, instead of just telling them. i thought you would make them laugh all of the time.”) and encourages patrick to reconnect with his son
  • once put on enough make-up to trick people into thinking he was a guy dressed as bruce wayne who might possibly be batman, while he was actually bruce wayne who is actually batman. he disguised himself….. as himself. i fucking hate him. when oliver queen found out his identity how much do you wanna bet he was beyond pissed
  • i’m not kidding about the justice snuggle thing. he does actually do that, where he perches on something and puts his chin on his knees. he does it in front of gordon, and also the justice league. someone who refuses to show people he has 1 iota of personality is totally comfortable curling up like a small child. what even is this man
  • when tired and injured sometimes he just collapses wherever. in knightfall, he passes out by a dumpster, and a roof, and on the stairs. in the batman and robin 2011 run he makes it to a hallway and alfred finds him just like crashed on the ground. in batman: year one, he literally just sits in a chair casually bleeding all over everything until a bat crashes through his window
  • tries to tell people he cares for them in a really roundabout way filled with metaphors and lots of grand gestures. the only person who usually understands them is dick, and even then it’s like 75% of the time. if he actually says the word ‘love’, the vulnerability of the moment will cause him to keel over and die
  • master of the uncomfortable invasion of privacy. i cannot stress this enough. if you bought purple listerine instead of blue this week, he’s watching you. he has your number. he has a file on everything that breathes, and also he writes everything down. he has like 400 some files on hugo strange alone, he knows whether the man prefers coke or pepsi. also, three words: brother eye satellite 
  • whenever something emotionally traumatic happens he locks himself in the batcave for a while because he is a turtle (of justice) and the batcave is his shell
  • now, this one is mostly a headcanon i was talking with audrey about earlier (i say mostly because i’m 65% sure there’s a panel somewhere that made it canon that bruce helped train kyle, but my receipts folder is 5 miles long) but i do solidly believe bruce is one of the people who teaches inexperienced league members, along with other expertly trained league members like diana and dinah. not only because of his expertise in martial arts, but also because he’s had more experience than other heroes training individuals to be the best they possibly can. he is absolutely the tough love coach. he is the AP teacher that knocked off points for every little mistake and made you cry three times a week, but it was worth it when you got a 5 on that exam and were so far ahead of the curve in college the class was a breeze
  • summary: i love batman
  • a lot
  • like a whole lot
  • he’s trying his best

he is my very favorite