In 4th grade, something that I will never forget happened… Someone found a USED condom on the school playground. Over the years I was at my elementary school, people have also found a dagger, a huge bag of socks, a bat in the auditorium, and, of course, plenty of beer cans and bottles on the school playground.
how do you guys think Batsy and J would celebrate Valentines Day because I think it’d go down kinda like this:
- Bruce hasn’t seen J in like a month because the clown has been in Arkham again, but two days before Valentines Joker, Ivy, and Harley escaped from the asylum
- Joker hasn’t been sighted or heard from but Harley’s been seen raiding anywhere that sells fireworks
- Bruce has been super Stressed trying to find out what his clown bf is up to but whenever he’s close there’s always a bunch of thugs there to distract him, so Bruce assumes J is pissed at him for something
- He’s pretty down too because he secretly had a fancy dinner planned but he doesn’t know if thats possible now that J is pissed/missing
- Bruce wakes up on Valentines day to find his dumb clown boyfriend sat on his lap grinning like an idiot
- did I mention the dumb clown is wearing nothing but one of Brucies giant sweaters and heart-covered boxers because thats a thing
- Anyway Bruce is naturally like “how the Fuck did you get in here?” and joker’s just like “Alfie let me in!!!!!” and Bruce feels like he should be pissed at Alfred but dammit his boyfriend’s cute when he’s excited
- Alfred brings up a breakfast of heart shaped pancakes like an hour later and Bruce has his suspicions that the butler has been helping to plan this for a while
- they spend the morning watching cheesy movies and fucking or whatever before its time to go to the restaurant (with J in some fancy ass purple suit that Bruce bought him but unfortunately a lot of makeup as he’s, y’know, a wanted murderer)
- the press are like “Mr Wayne who is that mysterious man you are with are you discussing business plans? haha there’s no way Bruce Wayne is anything but straight :)”
- to which Bruce becomes a blushing mess and J starts screaming about “I’M HIS BOYFRIEND YOU DUMB FUCKS!” and “SHOVE YOUR HETERONORMATIVITY UP YOUR ASSES”
- The two are left alone after that and the date is v cute. J bought - actually bought, not stole (Bruce is proud) - his bf some snazzy cuff-links and bat patterned socks, Bruce got J the previously mentioned suit and a sparkly green wristwatch
- Yea its going great until joker gets a phone call, excuses himself, and then a MASSIVE FUCKING CRASH IS HEARD FROM OUTSIDE
- so it turns out Joker had Harley and Ivy steal a load of fireworks and different colours roses to make what is basically a parade exclaiming his love for Batsy
- Bruce kinda stands there dumbstruck as his smug-ass boyfriend (now in his normal green hair and less fancy suit) is carried along on a bed of roses, waving and blowing kisses
- The bat-signal goes up, only for the commissioner to find its been vandalised to spell out “JOKER
- Bruce would be impresses and touched by the effort if it didn’t mean cutting the date short to get into the bat-suit and put his dumb clown in handcuffs (it wasn’t hard though, at this point the joker is more than a little tipsy and giggling at his boyfriends exasperated expression)
- Bruce isn’t so pissed off that he would send J back to Arkham though, so after driving for about five minuted he stops the car and tells the clown to go back to the manor whilst Batman tells Gordon that “the joker stole the batmobile and escaped, and is likely half way to freedom by now”
- Bruce gets back to the manor to give J a Stern Talking To which is definitely not what happens when he find his bf sat on his bed, half asleep and watching another dumb rom-com
Hi, Can you do a EXO reaction to their gf bringing home a puppy please?
Xiumin/Minseok: He’d be happy that you brought home a puppy (even if you didn’t talk to him about it first), he spend some time with the pup when he got home, but after a while remember all the things that went a long with owning a dog.
“Jagi…I’m happy that you found a puppy that you like, but you do remember everything that goes along with owning one right?’ He questioned.
“Of course,” you said, walking out the the kitchen with a plate of food and a dog bowl, “That’s why I’ve already called the vet for a puppy examination as well as called and signed her up for obedience training classes….dinner?”
“Oh…well it seems like you’ve go everything handled.”
Suho/Junmyeon: He’d be upset at first with you just bringing home a puppy without talking to him. He would’ve wanted to call a family meeting and talk about the pros and cons of owning a dog. But after seeing you smiling holding the small pup he knew that most of the out come of owning a dog was you being happy.
“How can I be upset with you smiling like that?” He questioned, mostly to himself, “All right jagi…you can keep it. Just make sure you train it well. We don’t want any accidents in the apartment.”
Lay/Yixing: It wouldn’t really matter to him that you brought home a puppy. He knew the reason why you probably did it and as long as you were happy, he was happy.
“So you’re not mad I didn’t talk to you first?” You questioned, holding the puppy to your chest.
“Nope, I know you’ve been wanting a pet and also you get lonely when I’m away on tours,” he said, smiling as you started to relax, “You finally found a puppy that you wanted and I’m happy that you’ll be happy.”
Baekhyun: He’d be over the moon when he came home and saw the small pup in the living room.
“AAAAAAHHHH! YOU BROUGHT HOME A PUPPY!” Baek yelled, running over and falling to the floor to play with the pup.
“Um yeah…I hope you don’t mind. I know we’ve been looking and I was out shopping and this lady was giving puppies away and I fell in love with this one as soon as I saw her,” you said, watching the puppy lick his face.
“I don’t mind at all…can I help choose the name, can I?! We should name in Chanyeol.”
“I uh…might not object to that except the fact that the puppy is a girl,” you stated.
“Fine…Channie….we’ll name her Channie.”
Chen/Jongdae: He wouldn’t have much to say about the situation. He’d come home and find you rolling around on the floor playing with the puppy and be too amused to be upset that you brought home a puppy without talking to him.
“Oh Y/N…look at you,” he said laughing, “You’re like a little kid playing with that puppy.” He pulled out his phone and began to record you. “You’re so happy it’s so cute.”
Chanyeol: He’d get a little jealous about this new addition to your family that you brought home.
“But I thought I was your puppy…” he said, he said looking at the dog who was chewing on it’s bone happily.
“You are my puppy….you are my sweet tol sexy puppy. But that over there is the smol puppy who I can cuddle and play with and who will keep me company while you’re away,” you replied.
He laid on the couch looking down sadly at the puppy who had already started to get more attention than him. “You’re trying to steal my jagi from me…you’re sneaky you know that.”
Kyungsoo: Between you giving him the puppy eyes and the puppy giving him puppy eyes, there was no way he could tell you that you couldn’t keep it.
“Fine…fine…you win Y/N. You can keep him,” he said giving in.
“Really? You don’t mind?” you questioned smiling.
“No, not at all. You’re in charge of cleaning up any messes though…you brought him home, you can deal with the dirty stuff.”
Kai/Jongin: He wouldn’t care that you brought home a puppy…in fact with his loving personality he would be right there with you after you brought it home going over puppy training guides.
“Jongin, I already signed her up for classes,” you said after a couple of hours of looking at training books.
“I know, I know…but look jagi….here are potty training and anti chewy tips…we can do that ourselves.”
Sehun: He wouldn’t be upset about the puppy that you brought home…however he would pout about how you were giving all your attention to the pup.
“I thought we were going to watch a movie,” he said, watching you get distracted by the small puppy who had been batting at a stray sock.
“And we will…she wants to play first….” you said.
“You brought her home three hours ago and she’s already taking all your attention away.”
“Oh don’t tell me you’re jealous of a dog?”
“Not jealous….merely stating facts.”
Luhan: He wouldn’t really know what to think of the new four legged member to the family. He had been sound asleep when all of a sudden his face was getting licked and stepped on.
“Jagi….what is this puppy doing in our bed?” He’d question sleepily.
“Well…LuLu…don’t be mad, but when I went out shopping a lady was giving away free puppies and I got one.”
“…….Oh, okay,” he said blankly staring at you, “Can you at least take it so I can get some sleep…we’ll talk about this later.”
Kris: He’d be on the fence about this new furry friend that you brought home. Simply because there was no forewarning that you were bringing him home.
“I thought we talked about this Y/N…if there’s gonna be any major changes made in our lives we should talk about it first and not just spring it on each other,” he said.
“Are you saying that I have to take him back?” you asked him sadly.
“Well…no. I know he will make you happy when I’m away so I’ll let you keep him, but we just really should talk about these things first,” he said.
“Okay! I promise I won’t do anything like that without talking to you first again! Thank you, Kris!”
“Aish, what am I going to do with you…..”
Tao: He wouldn’t be as excited about you bringing home a puppy. Not because it was a dog…but because it was still in it’s teething stage.
“Jagi…this thing you brought home already ruined a $500 pair of Gucci sneakers….control this thing,” he said handing you the puppy.
“He’s teething and needs training, it’s not his fault Tao,” you said.
“Aish…woman I swear…just keep it away from my shoes.”
Cassandra Wayne steps out of the limo with her aunt Kate, and the media swarm to their side. From just inside the gala, Bruce takes a moment to pinch his nose and sigh. As much as he loves his children, he could find many people more adept at keeping a secret identity; Cass is wearing a dress covered in bats.
Stephanie Brown elbows Bruce with a grin on her face. “I bought her that dress.”
“Of course you did.”
The media take photos and buzz questions to Cass. “Is your dress a statement on the Batman?” one reporter asks.
No, Bruce almost mouths at Cass.
“Yes,” Cass says.
“And what is that statement?”
Cass looks at Bruce as she says “I like him.”
Despite himself, Bruce feels a warmth in his heart as the gaggle of press hurry to write down tomorrow’s headline. By the time they look back up, Cass has somehow made it past them all. Some of the newer reporters do a double take, and the others start to explain how notoriously difficult it is to pin down Cass Wayne for more than five words.
Cass and Kate hug Bruce and Steph in greeting. “You look lovely, sweetheart,” Bruce coos, “but maybe the dress is a little.. obvious.”
“Really? I thought it went with my earrings,” Kate says with mischievous innocence, and Bruce doesn’t even have time to give a silent prayer to the Gods of Common Sense before she sweeps aside her hair to reveal earrings that are just straight-up the Batwoman symbol.
Bruce holds back a groan with great difficulty.
Maybe he’s just a sucker for punishment (Alfred has suggested so on more than one occasion), but he says “at least Stephanie isn’t wearing-”
Steph gasps. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice!” She kicks up one leg which Cass catches and holds (almost as if they’d rehearsed it) and Steph pulls up her dress to reveal brightly-coloured bat-patterned socks. Some camera flashes come from the press.
It takes so much willpower to keep himself from holding his face in his hands and weeping that Bruce is surprised that a green lantern ring doesn’t show up for him.
Summary: Sequel to “A Mutual Agreement” / Dan is up late at night, stressing
out over who in his family is going to be invited to his and Phil’s wedding. Luckily
Phil is there to comfort him.
A/N: (I know I have, like, 3 requests I still need to post but I finally wrote a sequel to my “A Mutual Agreement” fic and I’m really proud of it, soooo yeah…also there’ll be a third fic for this mini “series” that I’ll be posting soon as well :D)
Also title comes from “Resistance” by Muse bc I use Muse songs to title my fics way too much
Ah, so that’s why the uptick in lich animals around the house… Joan Hand, ethical necromancer, modeling a sock hoodie dress with some extra goodies! The wings are wired and poseable and sewn into the dress.
Slowly but surely, I’ll get through my
Halloween scrap pile…