bat!hamish

Dad Jokes 😁
  • : : I APOLOGISE...
  • ~~
  • *221B Baker Street*
  • Hamish Holmes: *batting his eyelashes* Can I do an experiment please, Mummy?
  • Molly: *checking her watch* Okay, sweetheart, but don't forget we have a dentist appointment later.
  • Hamish Holmes: *groans* What time?
  • Sherlock: *reading a magazine* Tooth hurt-y *smirks*
  • Molly & Hamish: *sigh deeply*
  • -
  • Sherlock & Hamish: *curled up together, watching TV*
  • Hamish Holmes: *his thumb in his mouth* Dad, can you make me a sandwich, please?
  • Sherlock: *boops his nose* Poof, you’re a sandwich *looks down at him; winks*
  • Hamish Holmes: ...
  • -
  • *at the Hospital*
  • Molly: *holding baby girl Holmes*
  • Nurse: *preparing the vaccination* Do you know your daughter's blood type?
  • Sherlock: *nods* Red.
  • Molly: *kicks him*
  • -
  • *a supermarket*
  • Molly: *pushing baby girl Holmes' pushchair*
  • Sherlock: *giving Hamish a piggyback*
  • Cashier: *smiles* Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?
  • Sherlock: *glances at the milk* Uhh, nah, you can leave it in the carton.
  • Hamish Holmes: *groans* Daaaad!
  • Molly: *giggles*
  • -
  • *in bed*
  • Sherlock & Molly: *breathing heavily, holding hands*
  • Sherlock: *smoothing her hair with his free hand* Do you know how to tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, ‘ribbit, ribbit’ and a horny toad says, ‘rub it, rub it.’
  • Molly: *sighs* I just did.
  • -
  • Hamish Holmes: *grooming himself in the mirror* How do I look?
  • Molly: *sniffs* Very handsome...she's a lucky girl.
  • Hamish Holmes: *smoothing down his jacket* Thanks, Mum. Wish me luck... *heading towards the door* I'll call you later.
  • Sherlock: *calling after him* You will not! You'll call me Dad!
  • Hamish Holmes: *mock laughs before slamming the door*
  • Sherlock: *chuckles*
  • -
  • *Hamish's daughter's christening*
  • Priest: *pours water on her head*
  • Molly: *whispers* How do you even make holy water?
  • Sherlock: *shrugs* You boil the hell out of it.
  • *everyone stares at him*
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Sherlock: *smiles* Lovely service. Do carry on...
  • -
  • *in Hospital*
  • Sherlock: *in bed* Do you want to know what the pirate said on his eightieth birthday?
  • Molly: *holding his hand; nodding*
  • Scarlett Holmes: *bouncing her granddaughter* Always, Dad...
  • Sherlock: Aye matey.
  • Hamish Holmes: *from the doorway; shaking his head* Crap.
  • Sherlock: *closes his eyes* I'd like to see you do better.
  • Hamish Holmes: *swallows* You will.
  • Sherlock: *smiles weakly*
  • -
  • *221B Baker Street*
  • Molly: *looking around sadly*
  • Hamish Holmes: *knocks* Mum?
  • Molly: *fixing her black dress; dabbing her eyes* Sorry, son... *checks her watch* God, is it time already?
  • Hamish Holmes: *solemnly* I don't know, it keeps changing.
  • Molly: *gives a watery smile*
  • Hamish Holmes: *holds his arm out* Not the same...
  • Molly: *takes his arm; pauses at the door to look back at the flat one more time*
  • Molly: *shakes her head; tearful* No... *reaches for the Belstaff*
  • -
  • : : THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY THEN IT GOT SERIOUS...