Plot- You pleaded, hoped, begged, cried, destroyed yourself for him. You threw away your dignity, your pride, your very existence to make him happy. Seeing him walking out that door sprouted something in you. You felt yourself getting weaker as time passed, your life slowly becoming empty as you watched him. That should be you.
Hanahaki Disease- an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.
“Are you alright?” Taehyung asked, placing a hand on the small of your back as you watched him, his newly dyed blonde hair not very hard to miss in the sea of people. His broad shoulders peeking as he towered most of the sweaty bodies on the dance floor, your eyes glazing over as he met your eyes briefly before leading a woman out of the club.
“Do you want the truth?” You asked the red haired man next to you, who placed a small glass in front of you, earning a shrug in response as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, laying your head on his. You clenched your fists around the fabric of his shirt, cursing yourself for feeling so weak. “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry anymore.” You said softly as you took labored breaths, waiting for the sting to subside from the corner of your eyes.
“You just ended a 4 year relationship. You have a right to be like that.” Taehyung said with a shrug, stroking your hair lightly, the loud music sending shivers down your chest as the bass rattled your aching heart. The people around you engrossing themselves in the temporary comfort of one another, their drunken behavior excused by the liquid running in their veins, throwing themselves away along with the small amount of innocence they had left.
You bit your lip, looking at Taehyung with so much pain, so much suffering in your eyes. It hurt him seeing you like that, out of the group, out of anyone really, he was closest to you. “Why does love hurt?” You asked him, your voice almost inaudible as the rattling music muffled your voice, but he only heard you.
“If it doesn’t hurt, then you aren’t doing it right.”
3 years. 3 worthless years passing since the break up. In a way, you were over it. Over feeling worthless and unappreciated, over the feeling of utter pity that everyone offered you. Over feeling like nothing but a waste of time from that man. You watched from the corner of the mirrored dance room as the boys practiced. He was late, as usual, not that it concerned you anymore.
You smiled at the red haired boy, who shot you his famous boxy smile as they halted their practice, deciding it was time for a break. The boys dispersed, involving themselves with their phones or stuffing their face. Taehyung however, quietly walked over to where you were at, taking a spot next to you and nudging you with his arm.
“What makes you think something’s wrong?”
“You’ve been looking at the door for the past 2 hours we’ve been here.” He said, lazily shrugging his shoulders as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt, shooting you a quick glance. “And you’d think, knowing you for almost 6 years that I’d know you by now.” He said with another shrug, making you roll your eyes.
“I’m not waiting for him if that’s what you’re thinking.” You defended, rolling your eyes again at the pointed look he gave you, a scoff leaving his pink lips as he pushed your arm gently.
“I don’t have to be a genius to know that’s bullshit.” He said, both your heads perking up as the door opened, seeing a head of blonde hair poke through.
“Sorry, Jae-Eun needed something.” He said with a pink blush scatter on his cheeks, his eyes widening when he meets yours. You turn away quickly, looking at your lap as Taehyung lets out a sigh. “This has been going on for too long (Y/N)-ah.” He said in concern, pursing his lips together when you shake your head, dropping your gaze to your hands.
“Listen, we need to get you out. Back out into the world of dating.” He teased softly, poking your cheeks until he sees a small smile creeping onto your face. “Now come on, as soon as practice finishes, we’ll go.” He says and holds out a pinky to you, a childish grin on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows at you.
You hooked your pink with his, a giggle escaping your lips and he kisses the top of your head, ruffling your hair.
He kept his promise, taking you out every single day for the past months. He was your light in your dark situation, really the only person who understood your feelings about this. He didn’t just tell you ‘move on’, he helped you through it. It was at the point where you can actually be in the same room as your former love without feeling completely worthless.
He held your hand softly in his, giving you a gentle smile as you sat across him. You tilted your head at him, a small laugh leaving you as he started to stroke his thumb against your knuckles. “Is something wrong Tae?” You asked, putting a pale hand on his, his eyes meeting yours as he shrugged his shoulders nervously.
“I need to tell you something.”
“You can tell me anything.”
“I-I.”He stuttered, causing you to raise an eyebrow at him. “Tae, just spit it out. It can’t be that bad.” You said reassuringly, a sigh escaping his lips as he chewed on his bottom lip.
“I just-you should know that-”
“Wait, is that Jin?” You interrupted him, both your heads turning to the blonde haired man in the corner of the cafe you both were at, his lips entangled with a woman, who you were assuming was the woman who replaced you in his life.
Taehyung took note of how your skin paled, as well as the subtle heaving you were trying to hold back. He held your hands tighter in his, putting a hand to your cheek to make you look at him. “(Y/N)? Are you okay?”
You tried to shake your head, feeling your head spin as you quickly stood up from your seat, your chair scraping loudly against the floor as you dashed to the bathroom, quickly throwing yourself into a stall and emptying out the contents of your stomach, the acid burning your throat as the never ending heaving slowly came to a halt.
You shakily looked down at your hands, cringing as they shook with every breath you took. You ran a hand through your hair, wiping away the tears that spilled out of your eyes as you flushed the toilet, clutching your shirt tightly as you tried to get the vision of your former love out of your head.
5 years. 5 years, 3 months, and 14 days had passed since you broke up. You felt the feelings slowly fading away as you spent more time with Taehyung, who took away your pain. He made you happy, he made you smile, laugh. Everything you’ve wanted to feel again since that horrible day.
He sat you down on the couch in the dorm, standing in front of you as you looked at him in confusion, his stern look frightening you a bit. “(Y/N), have you been taking care of yourself properly? Eating well, exercising?” He asked you in concern, causing you to laugh as his silliness. “Of course I have.” You said calmly, brushing off the look of concern that he showed you.
“(Y/N), look at me.” He said, holding your chin in his hand. “You’re so pale, you’re so fragile and so skinny now. It’s not healthy.” He said worriedly, holding your hands in his and placing a small kiss on them. Your felt your cheeks heat up at the gesture, brushing a few strands of hair away from his forehead, you answered softly. “Tae, I’m fine.”
“I know you probably think I’m getting annoying and overprotective, but (Y/N), I just care about you so much.” He said softly, putting a hand on your cheek, you closing your eyes at the relaxing feeling it gave you. “Thank you, but I’m really fine.” You said, your head spinning again.
He put a hand to your forehead worriedly, helping you up as your breaths quickened, him quickly calling out to the rest of the members, all of them quickly coming to your aid. Your eyes glanced over at the hesitant blonde man who strayed away from everyone else, a flash of concern passing through his eyes, leaving as soon as it came.
Images flushed through your mind, causing you to grow even more sick as you heaved on the floor, dropping to your knees as the boys rushed over to you, Jimin quickly handing a plastic bag over to you. Taehyung softly rubbed your back as you heaved, feeling the acid slowly climb up your body before releasing your contents into the bag, the boys cringing as the plastic bag slowly filled up, expecting to hear the acidic liquid, but nothing came.
When you finished, the boys quickly taking the bag from you as you tiredly leaned against Taehyung’s chest, who held you tightly in his hands as he wiped the sweat from your forehead, watching as your eyes slowly closed from exhaustion. Jimin shot a concerned look to Taehyung, who rose an eyebrow in confusion.
He looked into the outstretched bag Jimin held, his eyes widening at the contents before looking back at you, parting your lips delicately with his fingers, afraid that if he made the wrong move, you’d crumble in his hands. He felt you cough, your breath struggled and forced as he rubbed your back softly, covering your mouth with his hand, feeling something soft land on it.
He pulled his hand away, his eyes widening as he held a single flower petal in his palm.
He quietly waited, his eyes glaring holes into the ground as he waited for the doctor. He heard the door open, him along with the boys quickly standing up to hear the news about you. “Her condition is well, we successfully removed the stem from her respiratory system, so she should be fine, a bit weak, but fine.” He said, putting a hand on Taehyung’s shoudler. “She’d like to speak to you.
He quietly entered your room, a weak smile making it’s way onto your face as you extended a hand to him, him meeting you halfway and gently taking your hand in his, placing a small kiss upon it while he stroke your hair. “Hanahaki Disease.” You uttered weakly, “That’s what they called it.” You said, letting out a small laugh as tears slipped out the corner of your eyes. “Pathetic how it almost killed me. A one-sided love disease?” You rambled, letting out a laugh as he quietly listened, playing with your fingers.
“What’s wrong? You’re really quiet. It’s not like you.” You said, giving him a small smile as he looked at you, shocking you when he had small tears slipping down his cheeks.
“I almost lost you. You know how much that scared me? How much that hurt me?” He asked, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “You almost died because of your feelings for Jin-hyung. I was supposed to help you get over it, but you almost died.” He cried, his voice cracking.
“It’s not your fault.” You whispered, reaching up to play with his red hair, only for him to stand up. “I need a second.” He said, walking away from your bedside, leaving you confused.
He angrily punched the wall, cursing himself as he let tears fall as he clutched the sink, his knuckles turning white. “Jin, it’s always been Jin.” He hissed under his breath, looking at his reflection in the broken mirror in front him. His cheeks becoming pale and hollow, his head spinning.
He clutched the sink for dear life, the delicate aroma filling the bathroom as he let out small breaths, pursing his lips together as he saw his phone ring next to him, your face flashing on the screen. He clutched his eyes shut, letting out quiet sobs as he let the phone ring, your voice echoing around the quiet bathroom as you worriedly asked where he was at, and why he hasn’t contacted you in weeks.
He shook his head, slamming his fist down on the sink, ignoring the shooting pain that sprang throughout his arms, his mind spinning at the thought of you, how it was never him on your mind, how you couldn’t have felt anything romantic about him, how he couldn’t have you.
He let out a bitter laugh as he glanced at himself in the mirror again, watching a single tear fall down his lips as he let out a forced cough, a puff of petals erupting from his lips. Hanging his head in shame, he caught the descending petals in his hands, enclosing them around his fist as he answered your call on the 5th ring.
“Tae? Are you alright?” You asked worriedly, relief flooding through your veins when you heard his quiet laughter, oblivious of what’s occurring on the other end.
He let out a small laugh, clutching his phone tightly to his ear as he heard your voice, bittersweet music to his ears, using the two words you always used to tell him when he pestered you with worry.