basketball results

“Tough Love” Peter Maximoff x Reader (Requested Soulmate AU)

Request: “hi there ! i just lowkey stalked ur blog and i love your writing!! could you do a soulmate au where when one person gets hurt/gets a bruise etc., the other person gets one and peter is like so clumsy so he runs into stuff all the time and charles’ daughter seems to always end up with bruises everywhere for some reason ? so charles is like “gotta investigate” and he finds out abt the soulmate thing so he makes sure peter gets bruised during training and u know what happens from there! thanks sm!!” ~ @fuckkoffcourtney

Warnings: Mentions of sex, Mentions of Genitalia, Bruising, Curse Words, Shitty Writing

Pronouns: Female (I naturally write with female pronouns, but I try to change it up every once in a while. PLEASE feel free to request a version of this, or any previously written imagine with different pronouns. IT IS NO TROUBLE AT ALL, Also, if you have a request, feel free to make specific pronouns part of it.)

A/N: Hey, babe! Sorry this took forever! I kind of went to a stupid place with this one because I wanted to change somethings up so enjoy Goofy Peter™. I may have accidentally taken a really sweet prompt and injected middle school humor, but oh well. really hope you like it! Thanks for requesting. 


“No! Look! it really looks like a penis! There’s the-“

Jubilee pushed his hand away from his shoulder, silencing him.

“We get it Peter, it looks like a penis. Anyone else want to share their artistic representation of Peter’s bruise?” She smirked as she offered Peter’s shoulder to the rest of the table.

“I think it’s cool!” Peter sulked. He smirked as Charles  made his way into the cafeteria.

“Charles will think it’s cool. Hey Charles!” Peter waved to get Charles attention, running over to meet him.

“Xavier!” He called out, raising his shirt sleeve to show Charles the bruise, “Doesn’t this look like a penis?”


Charles glanced at his arm. It really did look like a penis.

“I can’t talk now, I’ve got to go meet Y/N for tutoring.”

“But you didn’t answer me!” Peter groaned. Charles laughed, grabbing a sandwich on his way out of the room.


Y/N gazed at the overly-stuffed pages of her Trigonometry book, wondering how she could read the same paragraph 12 times and still retain nothing. There was a small knock on her door and she hummed a little greeting as Charles wheeled himself in.

“Already hard at work, are we?” He smiled as he glanced over Y/N’s shoulder at the book.

“Trying to be, at least.” Y/N sighed and buried her head in the book’s binding.

Charles chuckled. and pulled the book into his lap, glancing over the pages carefully.

“Have you tried to work any problems?”

“Yeah…’tried’ being the keyword.”

“Well, as long as you’re-“ Charles stopped. He suddenly felt a little distracted by an oddly familiar, phallic looking bruise on Y/N’s shoulder.

“What happened to your arm?”

Y/N frowned.

“What? Oh, this?” Y/N craned her neck to look over at her shoulder.

“It’s just a bruise. I don’t really know where it came from. I sort of have this thing where I get a whole bunch of bruises and cuts sometimes and I’ll have no idea what happened.”

Charles studied Y/N’s arm carefully. It really did look like a penis.

“Have you seen a doctor? You could have a blood disorder or something.” He suggested, trying to find any reasonable explanation for the identical  dong bruises on his students arms.

“Nah, I’ve been before. They couldn’t really find anything wrong with me. Remember a few months ago when I got those bruises on my neck? They sure as hell weren’t hickies.”

Charles sat back in his chair, trying to decide if he should let it go, or investigate further.

“You know, depending on which angle you’re at, it kind of looks like a-“

“OK! So, trig functions!”


A few days passed and the bruises were buried in Charles’ head under more pressing matters and ideas. He didn’t even think about the marks until Peter managed to hit himself in the face with a basketball (on accident???), resulting in a glorious, black and blue mark on his hairline. He had tutoring that day with Y/N, who also seemed to be sporting a little discoloration in the exact same spot. What the hell was going on? Was it some kind of a kinky, teenager sex thing? Were there kinky teenagers living at his school? No. It had to be a mistake. He pulled a book from the shelves in his office, burrowing through a list of known mutations in search for something that fit his description. It was nearly midnight when he found what he was looking for under the ‘Secondary Mutations” heading.


Every once in a while, a rare secondary mutation involving ones soulmate will manifest itself. Upon doing so, such mutants will have a physical link to their “Soulmate”, such as matching bruises, cuts, scars or birthmarks. If someone has been experiencing any of these symptoms without explanation, a person in their life may have this mutation. Even better, they may have found their “Soulmate”.

Charles laughed to himself as he read, forming a mental plan to experiment with the notion.


Logan didn’t ask questions when Charles told him he would be sitting in during training. He also didn’t ask questions when Charles asked him to make sure Peter Maximoff was bruised in some way during the class. He figured that he shouldn’t ask questions that he didn’t want to hear the answers to.

“Shit, Logan! What was that?” Peter groaned and rubbed his elbow, which had hit the floor roughly when Logan knocked him down.

“You’ve gotta be ready. Yeah, you can run. But not if you don’t see things coming.” Peter scoffed and sat back down in his seat. Logan glanced over at Charles, who nodded gratefully as his eyes focused on Y/N’s elbow. Class droned on. It wasn’t ten minutes later that Y/N took her jacket off, revealing the beginnings of a little bruise on her elbow. Charles smiled widely.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Logan but I need to see Peter and Y/N in my office really quickly.”

Logan shrugged and nodded, the class poking fun at the two as they made their way to the door. Charles shut it behind them, talking as he lead them down the quiet hallway.

“ I called you two out here because I think you’re Soulmates,” Charles stated flatly. The students stopped in their tracks, giving each other a confused look.

“What the heck?” Peter mumbled to Y/N. Y/N shrugged, jogging to keep up with Charles.

“How’s your shoulder, Y/N?” Charles stated as he turned to face them. Y/N pushed her sleeve up to reveal the slightly lighter looking bruise. Peter glanced over at it, gasping as a grin rose to his face.

“You have a penis bruise too!” Peter’s eyes went wide and he grabbed her arm, staring at it.

“Peter, you have a secondary mutation. You share a physical connection with your soulmate. Every bruise or cut or anything of that matter is reflected  on Y/N’s skin.”

Peter laughed a little and Y/N started to match Peter’s lesions with her own. She smiled as Peter looked at her, amazement in his eyes.

Charles sighed contently, “I’ll give you two a moment to talk. You better be back to class by next period!” He called back to them as he trailed down the hallway.

Peter exhaled nervously and scratched his arm.

“Well…I uh-…I don’t really know what to say.” He stuttered, still a bit shocked from the news.

“It’s nice to…meet you.”

Peter could hear his own heartbeat as they started walking through the hallway back to class.

“Sorry, I’m so clumsy. Maybe, I would have tried to be more careful if I’d known I was bruising for two.”

Y/N laughed and blushed a little bit. She never would have though that someone like Peter would find any interest in her, but the amazement hadn’t left his eyes since they started talking. Y/N found herself hoping it never left.

She could already tell that he was definitely worth a few bumps and bruises.

Proof that Alpha Dave exists

The game “Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden” is a real game

The plot from wikipedia

“The game starts off in 2041, twelve years prior to the main part of the game, in “post-cyberpocalyptic Neo New York”. Charles Barkley performed a powerful dunk called a Chaos Dunk at a basketball game, inadvertently killing most of the people in attendance. As a result, basketball was outlawed and many basketball players were hunted down and killed.[2]

In 2053, another Chaos Dunk is performed in Manhattan, killing millions. Barkley is blamed for the Chaos Dunk and is hunted by the B-Ball Removal Department, led by Michael Jordan.[2][4] Barkley is rescued by another outlaw referred to as the Ultimate Hellbane. Hellbane leads Barkley to the tomb of LeBron James, revealing that Hellbane’s real name is Balthios, the octoroon great grandson of James. The ghost of James tells the two to seek the Cyberdwarf, who is hidden in New York’s sewers. While searching for the Cyberdwarf, they are joined by a cybernetic Vince Carter, who has lost his memory. Upon finding Cyberdwarf, the four of them rush to a nearby church, where Barkley’s son Hoopz is hiding. In the church, Jordan kills Father Larry Bird and holds Hoopz hostage. Cyberdwarf, looking at Hoopz, comments that Hoopz may be “The One”; this comment restores Carter’s memory. He was killed along with many other basketball stars, but was rebuilt by the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. to kill Hoopz. Carter joins with Jordan, but the two are driven off by Barkley and his party.

Cyberdwarf theorizes that B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. used a powerful basketball called the Ultimate B-Ball, the same B-Ball used by the Monstars in the Space Jam to steal the powers of basketball players, including Barkley himself, to perform the recent Chaos Dunk, so they travel to the old Spalding building to find a rumored extremely powerful basketball. There, they discover that such a ball had been created, dubbed the Hell B-Ball. This ball was so powerful that a janitor who mishandled it inadvertently performed a Chaos Dunk in the building years ago. With the Hell B-Ball in hand, the party seek out B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.

They find the B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. headquarters on the slave ship Necron 5. After freeing Carter from his programming and defeating Jordan in basketball combat, they find the leader of B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S., a shadowy version of Barkley created by the Ultimate B-Ball to destroy all life on Earth with a super-powerful Chaos Dunk, then repopulate the earth with Barkley clones. Shadow Barkley is defeated, but machinery on the ship is set to perform the Chaos Dunk without Shadow Barkley. Barkley stays behind while the rest of the party escapes from the Necron 5. Charles Barkley then performs another Chaos Dunk, destroying the ship and saving the earth. The game ends in a cliffhanger, where Hoopz and Cyberdwarf are aboard an escape pod in space without destination, and Balthios is left behind to fight the Monstars.“

Tell me Alpha Dave did not make this game

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: the year is 2016 and i can’t believe there’s not a dean/cas one tree hill au with a winchester bros basketball rivalry that eventually results in a strong brotherly bond and castiel as peyton and i mean john winchester is basically dan scott like how is this not a Thing Yet