i thought about death last on a tuesday. i thought about how decay is supposed to smell sweet and i wondered what that meant for its taste. i have no intention to find out, though i know curiosity, like cat to mouse, has a way of digging her claws in.
i thought about life last night. not just the sunrise, or the stars. not just the way the world goes dizzy at the edges when you hold your breath, but the way that the air feels in the aftermath of a storm. particles lightning-charged with the same kind of life that lingers in the synapses of a brain at the edge of discovery.
this morning i thought about you. you. you are hard to fold into words. i find that your curves do not like the way sentences feel when i try to hold them up against you, to see if i caught your image within them. the comparison is as weak as i was when i saw you last tuesday, or when you smiled at me last night.
tonight? who knows. the thing is, i think these days i laugh more than i cry, but i still think about death. i haven’t looked at the stars in a while but i still see them, and i will always watch for storms. you do not complete me as i was a person before you, but i like that we could live alone. it means we choose not to.
wow so there are actually distinct eras of disney channel’s level of quality
2000-06 was easily its heyday, and is the most referenced in nostalgia chat
2007-09 was when newer shows replaced the classics and were still pretty decent
2010-11 was the beginning of the channel’s descent
and 2012 to present has been just tragic (girl meets world being the exception and i guess andi mack)
Hey everyone, basically I’ve decided to start a comic! I’ doing pencil sketches of the first couple of pages at the moment and I think I’m gonna do it digitally when my wacom tablet eventually arrives. I’m basing it on the response for an imagine @anothertrashyunderimagine kindly wrote for me (picture on the right).
The core theme is that it’s set in a timeline where Blueberry isn’t so innocent, due to reasons which you’ll find out eventually, and Stretch has to tackle his bro’s out of character behaviours.
This idea may change closer to when I decide to make it, or I might just change the story as I go along, influenced by you guys of course! But um yeah, stay tuned chillun cause it’s about to get “sickeniiinnnnggggg- yyaaaasssss!!”
I’ve been posting somewhat cryptically about all the bad things going on in my life this past week. I’m not going to go into too much background, but basically my entire life I’ve had issues controlling my temper. I tend to express stress and anxiety as anger, and I direct it verbally at people I care about. It’s caused problems in my relationship with my wife. Last week she got fed up – rightly so – and I’ve been sleeping on my sister’s couch since.
So the upside is that I’ve finally been motivated to deal with a problem I’ve known about for years. I enrolled in a 10-week anger management program. I had my intake interview today and it starts on Thursday. I felt good after the interview. The counsellor thinks that the program is a perfect fit for me and it should help me develop permanent habits to better handle my emotions. I’m also waiting to hear back from a cognitive behavioural therapist who is going to help me deal with my anxiety, which is largely at the root of my anger issues.
It’s tough owning up to your flaws, but it’s the only way to improve. I’m taking responsibility for the hurt I’ve caused and I’m working to be a better person. I can’t do anything more.
My wife and I have been talking a little the last day or so and today I saw her in person briefly today. She’s happy that I’m working to fix things, but she still needs space. But we’re communicating, and that’s what matters.
It’s been a rough week but today was the first day that I really felt like things will probably work out alright.
whoever you are and wherever you live, know that i truly care for you.
i’ve your back, no matter what. we’re living an unusual time in our history where human race has never been this close, but yet we’re still living apart with our small differences. do not think nobody care, because i do. do not let people bring you down. do not believe there’s no hope. and do not think nobody will miss you. i will. maybe you don’t post stuff or you’re just shy, but i’ve noticed some of you for awhile now. you’ve bringing me so much joy this past few months… 2016 was the hardest year of my life. i went throught major… issues.
i cried a lot sometimes. i almost lost my mind and, you know, i used to just log my computer in the middle of the night, and upload some pictures. that makes me happy. i could forget for a few all this misery. i’ve been looking for a safe place for long time and i’m happy here all because of you. i know most simmers don’t like to share personal stuff but it’s good to find comfort when you’re down. and without knowning it, you haven’t let me down. as i said, 2016 was hard : i lost 2 friends (one in january, another one in november). some morning, i opened some drawers and find pictures of them, smiling. pictures of us, younger at school… and, i didn’t thought i could make it.
the next morning i knew my childhood friend passed, i had to go to work. so… i had to walk across our middle school, the park we celebrate our degree, the place we shared secrets, the place we used to draw and paint… the place where she died… all of this the same hour. i couldn’t walk anymore because it was too hard. i just couldn’t walk and know she isn’t here anymore. but then i recieved messages from @mlyssimblr and @jenba. just for a chit chat. and they basically saved my day, saved my life too… so thanks for that. thanks for everything. i would never forget her.
in my mind, she is still the sweetest person i’ve ever met. she always had some kind words, even to the people who used to bully her. she believed in me when nobody did. and she told me multiple times “you can do whatever you want. you’re talentend.” i never thought it was true, until this year. sometimes, you have to experience the darkest time of your life to find strenght. now, i feel like i’m strong for two. i’ll live for us two. i’ll archieve my dreams and hers… because i owe her that. she put brightness in my life and i’ll carry this legacy.
i’m not angry because she killed herself without a word. i’m not mad because she did it at the place we shared so many memories - the place i walk through everyday. i’m not pissed because i couldn’t met her at her work place anymore and make fun of her crazy hairs. i’m not even disappointed she’s not here to call me. i’m deeply sad she went thinking we don’t love her, deeply hurt that she’s gone without trying to explain to someone what was going on. she is still my friend and she’s still the bravest, the most generous person i’ve met in my entire life. for the past few months, she haunted me. i still hear her laugh in my head. i thought it was a curse, but then… i realize it was a blessing. my memory didn’t erase that piece of her.
i would never forget that cassis/mango ice-cream, claire. take care of you, just sleeping below the flowers blanket we made for you. i know you liked it. i won’t give up, i promise.
p-s : please, don’t kill yourself. because when a star dies, she create void all around her. it’s called black hole and swallow everything around her into darkness.
Hello wonderful people! I am a creative, curious, bubbly girl from Europe! People generally say I am always busy with something and they aren’t wrong. I guess you could say the word no isn’t written in my dictionary. Focusing on just one thing is incredibly hard since I simple like too much :s
My life is basically an organized chaos.
I am currently in the second year of the study industrial engineering and management, but besides that I do a lot of projects that have nothing to do with my study such as theatre, volunteer work with refugees and statusholders, following extra lectures and joining brain storm sessions about the innovation of the educational system. Besides school I have two part time jobs: a very exciting job at the supermarket and at my own school for promotion things.
In the free time I have left I like to write in my journals: from stories about daily life to poetry. My journals are the place for my overload of thoughts and basically tell my life story. I like to watch series such as NCIS, Elementary, Dr Bull, Bones & Castles. Besides that I like reading. Reading for me is entering another world and forgetting everything that is happening around you.
Music is a thing I can’t live without: it gives me the words I can’t find myself. This means that I always have my earphones with me and that it’s seriously a disaster when I don’t have them.
I am a huge culture and language lover. I am fascinated by all the different cultures that live together on this world and I wish to discover this by traveling. My native language is Dutch and I am quite fluent in English. My German and French are okay and I am learning Portuguese. I am literally open to every language. I see a language of a piece of art: each language is unique and has its own story.
I am looking for a penpal to talk about anything and I generally write a lot so long letters/messages are very welcome. I try to give my letters a special touch by adding little gifts, dried flowers, postcards and fun lists. If you didn’t fall asleep yet reading this terribly long post (I am a bit sarcastic from time to time too) shoot me a message :)
Preferences: Let’s say around the age age of 16-21 and if you want to write letters preferably from Europe since snailmail hasn’t always worked out for me outside Europe, but we can always try. In september I am perhaps going to study in Denmark for a half year, so if you are from Denmark, definitely shoot me a message then ^^