basically me at work

it’s amazing how parents have the ability to ruin your day and self-worth completely with one 15 min phone call wow

hello there yes I still love this ship 

it doesn’t have enough art so i had to

  • Freed: *Looks up* Oh, look. Mistletoe.
  • Laxus: *Has mass internal freakout over whether or not they should kiss and the fact that they might actually kiss*
  • Laxus: Oh yeah, so there is...
10

“Newt and I will take care of you” YES YOU WILL, TINA. YOU WOULD SO WELL.
A world in which Crewtina is a thing and it fits in with canon and everything is great and Credence is loved and Tina and him are the mother hens of their favorite reckless noodle man.
Our Fantastic Newt and How to Keep Him Safe.

anonymous asked:

As a queer girl, how do i get men to Leave Me Alone. like, you're flawless and can probably rebuff them with a Look but i'm just a small town gay and also can't really tell men flirting with me at work to fuck off. basically how did you gain your patented 'how dare you talk to me' aura.

so you know how there are tumblr posts where it’s just like 

person 1: “long explanation of a thing no one cares about”

person 2: “……….anyway”

you need to always inhabit the mindset of person 2. you don’t have to tell anyone to fuck off when you just treat their flirting as though it could not possibly inconvenience you more. keep your head high and sometimes raise your eyebrows ever so slightly, like you’re barely humoring a bad magician. broadcasting disinterest is incredibly easy, you just have to keep yourself from worrying about making things awkward. you can get a lot of mileage out of not smiling. 

make it a habit, and one day you too can be a lesbian who dismisses men at bars from her presence like a gay cleopatra 

  • Silver: [during the final battle] James, will you marry me?
  • Flint: [dripping with blood] I don't think now's the best time, John.
  • Silver: GODDAMMIT JAMES NOW MAY BE THE ONLY TIME I HAVE MADE MY CHOICE SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR
  • Flint: Jesus Christ [shoots a guy in the face] Ed! Marry us!
  • Blackbeard: [ploughing three guys at once] I'M A LITTLE BUSY AT THE MOMENT
  • Blackbeard: [hanging from a mast] DEARLY BELOVED WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY [falls]
  • Flint: FOR FUCKS SAKE John Silver, do you take me to be your husband?
  • Silver: I do.
  • Flint: [stabs someone] GREAT
  • [fight sequence in which Silver saves Flint twice]
  • Silver: James McGraw, do you take me to be your husband, in sickness and in health, [saves Flint again] with health being less likely?
  • Flint: [smirking like a bitch] I do.
  • Blackbeard: [punching Woodes Rogers in the face] AS CAPTAIN, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU...
  • [ship sinking]
  • Flint: [decapitates a man] SINCE WHEN WERE YOU THE FUCKING—
  • Blackbeard: HUSBAND AND HUSBAND [firing guns aimlessly in the air] YOU MAY NOW KISS—
  • [Jack screaming]
  • Blackbeard: ...YOU MAY KISS... [falls overboard]
  • Anne Bonny: [hanging from a sail throwing knives] JUST FUCKING KISS

Formula for a ship tease:

☑ Beautiful girl with long hair and an impressive talent in music

☑ Grows close to the protagonist, who offers them support through an oddly-worded speech

☑ Returns the favor by low-key insulting them as a form of affection

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is get a kiss from my wife, and every night before I fall asleep, the last thing I do is get a kiss from my wife.

Let me tell you, I am a lucky lady.

Journal Entry #82-a

Alright, I’ve got stuff to do without the guys. They’re not too happy about it but they’ll deal.

In the meantime, at least I’ve still got pictures to share. You know, nice ones like this.