bash your face


Reader x Kol

Requested by Anon

Prompt List

You walked through the ballroom and shyly shuffled your hands and edged your way into the ball. You’d received an invite which surprised you and Elena had insisted you should come, telling you to enjoy yourself and that she’d see you there.

“See I told you it’d be fun.” Elena muttered as she hurried over to you.

“I don’t have a dance partner.” You whispered and Stefan smiled.

“We could have a dance.” He offered and you went to accept when someone caught your outstretched hand.

“Or perhaps you would do me the honour.” Kol smiled as he kissed you hand and you tried to hide the bashful look on your face.

“It’s nice to see you again Kol.” You mumbled and everyone gawked at you.

“This is the nice-looking man you keep talking about?” Elena asked and Damon glanced between the two of you.

“Oh, my God. You’re in love with him.“ He mumbled and your eyes widened.

“I’m going to dance with him.” You told Elena who was smirking as you followed Kol.

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No matter how often you may use stolen Taco Bell napkins as toilet paper, even the biggest slob knows better than to throw trash all over the ground in public. Especially not in a restaurant or bar – you’re liable to get your face bashed in by the maitre d’. Try living that one down. It’s like getting curb-stomped by a mime.

Except for in Spain, where littering can actually be considered polite.

In the iconic tapas bars of Spain, throwing trash on the floor is very much welcome. And we’re not talking glorified fast-food joints here – even the finest establishments could depress the shit out of Woodsy Owl. In Spain, the unwritten rule is that the best tapas bars are usually the ones with the most trash on the floor. That’s right – not only is rampant littering completely acceptable but leaving your garbage is like leaving a positive review.

5 Foreign Rules of Etiquette That America Desperately Needs


I forgot I made progression shots for this drawing! If anyone is interested, here you go!

Special thanks to the amazing @laur-rants [weeniesenpai] for the assist on the composition! Feed back is the best guys, be sure to ask for lots of it if you ever feel like bashing your face into your tablet! [I almost did this…]

Aranea x Reader Ficlet: Dangerous Woman

More from Aranea’s POV at the start but still focused on you/reader. I hope this cheers you up @major-artery. That’s one of the main reasons why I write, after all. 

I’m basically waxing poetic about Aranea at a third-grade level but I hope you like it anyway. Gonna be multiple parts. Some context for this is that it’s part of a main story which is an AU with BlackMage!Reader, gender neutral pronouns, etc. You can read more here if you’re interested. 

Dangerous Woman

Words: 1,971

Warnings: Language, Mage Magnetism, Love/Lust at First Sight Cliché, Aranea Likes a Fighter, Aranea Loves a Dork, Bad Jokes, Bad Writing, Bad Everything

Ficlet: Dangerous Woman

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             Will and Grace: Karen Walker One Liner Starter Sentences
                              warnings of: drug use, alcoholism, and nsfw-ish

  • “Honey… What is this? What’s going on? What’s happening?”
  • “If it has genitals on the outside it’s hiding something on the inside.” 
  • “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.”
  • “Oh hey! Somebody got flowers. Or as I like to call them, poor people jewelry.” 
  • “If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll drink with you.”
  • “I’m too tired to slap you, would you bash your face against my palm?”
  • “You say potato, I say vodka.”
  • “The only other person I’ve apologized to is my mother/father and that was court ordered.”
  • “Poor people are just plain clever.” 
  • “Light beer? What’s next, non addictive pain killers?” 
  • “You’ll do it like every self-respecting woman does. Get on your back, point your heels to Jesus and think of hand bags.”
  • “That’s like saying Prada’s are just shoes, or vodka is just a morning beverage!”
  • “By your inflect I can tell you think what you’re saying is funny, but no.”
  • “Oh my God, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning?”
  • “NO! I will not have sex for money! I only have sex for jewels, furs, or mixed securities, like a lady.”
  • “He was such a gentleman. He opened the door for me, I opened my shirt for him.”
  • “It’s not something you can just run away from like a hotel bill… or a crying baby.”
  • “Why don’t you save your anger for the bedroom, where it belongs.”
  • “Drink me, I make life more fun. Anyone from a high school senior to a hobo under a bridge knows that!” 
  • “Honey, it’s a waste of time. Like exercise. Or reading to your kids.”
  • “OK, Rule number 1: Unless you’re served in a frosted glass, never come within 4 feet of my lips.”
  • “Oh honey, that’s just a saying, like ‘Ooh. That sounds like fun’… or ‘I love you’.”
  • “Well, you’re all boring and I’m fun.”
  • “I don’t look, I get looked at.” 
  • “Please tell ____ that he should redirect his anger at his mother where it belongs.”
  • “Sorry I’m late. Oh God, that sounded insincere… I’m late!”
  • “Honey… we talked about this blouse/shirt…”
  • “That’s your laugh? Sounds like a squirrel orgy.”
  • “Oh, Good Lord. You know you shouldn’t look, but there is a certain morbid fascination.”
  • “Alright! I met him in a bar! He flirted with me, thought I was a whore! Made me feel…I don’t know, special!”
  • “Honey… if you look inside this bag, i’m giving you a little sign language right now!”
  • “You know what those rocks need? A little scotch.”
  • “Because I’m a lady/gentleman assface.”
  • “I’m not good or real, I’m evil and imaginary.”
  • “How did you hurt your back? Running away from good taste?”
  • “I’ve got a fake laugh with your name all over it.”
  • “Honey, I’m busy. Touch yourself.” 
  • _____, that blouse/shirt hurts like a hangover.” 
[TOZX] fhána - アネモネの花 lyrics & translation

fhána - アネモネの花
fhána - Anemone no Hana
fhána - Anemone Flowers

Coupling song for the anime version of the single “calling” (TOZX ED) (by the way, the artist version of the single has a different coupling song). If “calling” is Sorey’s song, then this is Mikleo’s song. In the flower language, violet anemone flowers mean “I believe in you, so I’ll wait for you” which is definitely reflected in the lyrics. Lyrics and translation under the cut.

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41. Second Chances

members: Jeon Jungkook

content: content: christmas parties are meant for laughter, joy and happiness, not bumping into the ex you’re still totally in love with

length: 3449 words (holy hell that’s so long)

rating: M - angsty smut with fluffy content too

Originally posted by taesty-bangtan

Everything stood still the moment your name rolled off his tongue. It came out in a breathy exhale that caused goose bumps to rise along your skin and kick start the frantic beating of your heart. You could hear the twinkling of Christmas music, the chatter of other guests around you, the clinking of champagne glasses but they were all so distant as he stood before you; a forlorn look twisted onto his beautiful features.

“Jungkook.” You expected his name to taste bitter, sour even, on your tongue but you were surprised by the sweetness that resided. Memories of the first time you had spoken his name, naïve high school juniors, bashful smiles on your faces, the times you had breathed it into the honey after glow of sensual sex, the time it had left your lips as a plea when he told you he wanted to break up. Instead it felt familiar, like six months hadn’t passed, comforting despite your best intentions.

“How are you?” He tentatively asked, not able to meet your eyes as he continued to look at the various old high school friends. You had known it was likely he’d be here, the both of you turned up to this ridiculous high school reunion Christmas party at the fancy hotel since you left four years ago together, but that didn’t stop your heart beat from pounding erratically in your chest.

“I’m good…yeah good, how are you?” Your eyes continued to stay focused on the soft gold sparkles of your champagne, wishing for something slightly stronger as you took a sip and winced at the sickly sweet taste. The harsh licks of heat were lapping at your neck as the reality of just how awkward this encounter was crashed into you.

“Yeah, yeah same.” He mumbled, also taking a sip of his drink. The overwhelming sensation of wanting to cry distracted you from the awkward tension between the two of you. In the years you’d been together there had never been a moment filled with silence, especially at stupid functions like this when you could be found giggling in the corner at all the people the two of you used to hate. Then later in the evening when Jungkook’s lips had gotten a bit more urgent on your neck and the alcohol had created a pleasant haze, the two of you could be found stumbling towards your hotel room, giggling with glee.

“I miss you Y/N.” You sighed, the tears threatening to overspill. The weight of six months came crashing onto your shoulders in an instant, causing your shoulders to sag and your breath to become ragged. The overwhelming need to flee, to leave, to run flooded your tired and emotionally drained body, causing you to eye the nearest exit.

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zigi makes senses tho.…  like they’re both hot but lowkey super huge nerds. they both have like this… .. chill but snappy personality where if you fight one of their friends they’ll literally bash your faces in…. and they also wear glasses just for pure aesthetics. it makes complete sense when you think about it.… they deadass seem like that hippie couple that go to art museums for fun and have a smoke after a meal together… 


“What is all of this?” Dean asked, glancing around the table from item to item while Sam looked on incredulously.  “Is that—is that a turkey?”

A bashful smile appeared on your face, and you looked down, placing the gravy in between the stuffing and mashed potatoes.  “Yeah, it’s just… we’ve never had a real Thanksgiving before—as a family, and I know that Boston Market is great and all, but I just thought we should have one this year.”

Cas, who stood next to you, was grinning as he said, “I made the cranberry sauce.  It has apples in it, too—for flavor.”  He seemed so proud of himself, and you couldn’t help but breathe a laugh. He’d burnt it twice before he finally got the perfect one, and that was after your monitoring him throughout the process.

“Is this why you didn’t want to come with us on the poltergeist case?”  The pieces were fitting together, and Sam broke out into a wide smile.

“Yeah,” you answered.  “So are we going to sit, or will Cas and I have to eat all of this ourselves?  Mind you, he won’t even be able to enjoy it.”