baseball-cards

Another Season at the Ballpark

Just like that spring comes and knocks winter on its heels
Opening Day, I snap a family picture behind the home team’s bullpen
The wife and I hold up beers, and our kid, a half-eaten corny dog

Even though baseball is the patron saint of moments
And moments between the moments
Our lives, like the season run as if watercolors on paper
Out over the edges and into days, weeks, months, years

There are so many things we miss, that I already miss.
When I was a kid I used to play pretend, oblivious those times would end,
Swinging a bat in the sun, drinking lemonade, pretending that I played baseball
My friends and I would ride our bikes to the five and dime to play Asteroids and buy packs of baseball cards
Packing PBJ sandwiches in our backpacks

Then, without noticing, we’re through three home stands and roughly six weeks into the season
The 4th and 5th starters are a mess and the bullpen is in the shitter
But my son has learned how to swim and can read a few words

Every game small children stand next to mascots as parents snap their picture
My son laughs as adult’s race tricycles around the bases between innings as entertainment
There was also a midgame rain delay
Ticket stubs I keep in an old shoebox at home to serve as memories of the season

Fifteen games we’ve seen so far, even though it’s only May,
A high school choir who perhaps won a contest to perform warbles through “Take me Out to the ballgame” during the 7th inning stretch
The brat lines are long and the beer lines are longer, it’s dollar dog night and Thirsty Thursday
My son leans his chin with his arms crossed underneath it on the bullpen rail to watch them warmup

I notate a run scoring single in my scorebook as you look at me, in a minor league ballpark on a Thursday in mid-May.

By D. England

Hugh Jennings (April 2, 1869 – February 1, 1928)

Portrait of Hughie Jennings centered in six-pointed star with flame or leaf-shaped yellow highlights. Yellow areas at top and bottom contain text: “Tiger stars” and “Hughie Jennings, manager.” Printed on card back: “Topping & Co. publishers, Detroit.” 1909.

  • Courtesy of the Ernie Harwell Sports Collection, Detroit Public Library
One Line Prompts!

One liners:

1. “Sleep in your car if you don’t like it.”
2. “You didn’t do the dishes, I’m not doing you.”
3. “Baseball cards? What are you? Five?”
4. “I’m not drunk, I s-swear.”
5. “I don’t love you anymore.”
6. “Help me pack or get out. You’re in the way.”
7. “Oh my god, that’s disgusting.”
8. “Don’t be embarrassed, it’s normal.”
9. “Hot, gorgeous, beautiful…whatever you want to call it.”
10. “Stop copying me.”

My party has a tendency to kill everyone except for one person and then usually that person surrenders and our paladin recruits them to live on our airship. My character is not down with this, as we are getting so many people it becomes really hard to keep track of.

Me (Cleric): “You can’t just keep recruiting random hobos you find [paladin]! They aren’t baseball cards; you don’t collect them all!”

Halfling Paladin: “Wh- yeah I just collect them and send them out like: go dragonborn sailor-”

Dragonborn Fighter: “Yeaaaaah, I’d say I’m at least a double foil”

Me: “I swear to the Raven Queen, I will drain every ounce of fluid from your body if you say another word”

No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here’s the Haus’: A hammer, half of a pretzel, baseball card, some cartridge that says sonic and hedgehog, a scissor half, and a flashlight filled with jellybeans.
—  Dex, at some point, 1000% exasperated at being the only reasonable adult to own a REAL toolboxย 
Dear Evan Hansen characters as stuff my family and I have said
  • Evan: I don't say shit because avoiding conversation is my middle name.
  • Heidi: Never judge a woman by her onions. Especially a woman as awesome as your mother.
  • Zoe: I spend my time recovering from an abusive relationship and putting hot sauce on everything. It's more just a coping mechanism now.
  • Connor: *rehearsing dance competition solo* (in time with the music) I hate my life! When will I die! Everything about life makes me cry!
  • Cynthia: What do I do? I'm an actor for Christian yoga DVDs. I lied. I'm not. But I am very good at making gluten free bread.
  • Larry: Now girls, I'm your father, and I have two doctorates in music studies, but I do have my fair share of vintage baseball cards and haunted softball stories. *shudders*
  • Jared: I spend all my time listening to The Adventure Zone and reading fanfiction, and now you want me to work? Not gonna happen honey.
  • Alana: I wear blazers. BLAZERS. How could you possibly think I'm still "the straight one"?