baseball mustaches

anonymous asked:

holy fuck this whole time i thought your icon was geno with a fake mustache and baseball gear for some dumb media thing idk


I AM LEGITIMATELY CACKLING RIGHT NOW ANON

I DID SOME RESEARCH AND HIS NAME IS BRETT CONINE AND HE’S A SOPHMORE PITCHER FOR THE TITANS AND THIS IS HIM MINUS THE STACHE

here’s a vid with him about the titans and their weird ass facial hair (i’d embed it but it’s a fucking twitter vid)

and here’s a better pic of his ridiculous stache

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Tim Lincecum’s Mustache’s Regular Season Debut

Today, Tim Lincecum’s Mustache made its regular season debut, appearing atop Tim Linecum’s lips in the Giants’ game against the Diamondbacks. 

But while Lincecum lasted 6 innings, giving up four runs while striking out seven, what did the mustache contribute? Here is its line: 

  • 6 innings of existence
  • 28 beads of sweat captured
  • 13 flecks of Cheetoh dust held onto 
  • 3 stray hairs that slipped into Lincecum’s mouth while drinking, leading to an “eww, gross." 
  • 37 tweets per second regarding enjoyment of mustache
  • 43 tweets per second regarding disgust of mustache
  • 2,700 future lovers engaged
  • 1 fraternity pledged
  • 19.5% cool factor
  • 8 batters mesmerized

But the question on everyone’s mind: will Lincecum’s mustache dominate the news cycle this year the way Jonny Gomes and Mike Napoli’s beards did last year? Tune in next week to find out.