baseball adventures with ari

Why yesterday was awesome:

  • I went to Macy’s and found a Glee shirt for five dollars, but really the best part was the cashier and I talking about Glee.
  • I got Cubs jewelry, effectively replacing the Sox ones that I lost :/ But, to be honest with you, I like the Cubs stuff better because 1) selection is better, 2) selection is cheaper, and 3) there was also Cubs headbands.  Cubs headbands, people.
  • Tim Lincecum is the best person ever, and, you guys, HE HIGH-FIVED ME.  I HIGH-FIVED TIM LINCECUM.  I will never be over that.
  • He will also now have good karma from that.  He just will.
  • We scared Barry Zito, who is a wonderful and gorgeous human being with the best shirts and a Gucci bag.
  • Cubs won, Randy Wells was amazing, and I still never see losses at Wrigley Field. Sorry Giants. Kind of. If you really could play everyone but the Cubs, then I wouldn’t feel so conflicted about you.
  • Coolest of all, I met Gracie and Shannon who are just as awesome irl as I knew they would be~

John Danks is awesome.  How awesome?  Mark Buehrle wrote John Danks’s initials on the pitching mound before a game last year, and then Buehrle went on to throw a perfect game.  John Danks is so awesome that he is on Chuck Norris’s fantasy baseball team.  John Danks is so awesome that Aaron Rowand wears John Danks pajamas to bed.  John Danks is awesome.

Kenny Williams is so awesome because he managed to fool some young, stupid general manager into giving him John Danks for Brandon McCarthy.  Oh wait.

It was Dog Day at the park.  Before the game started, everyone got to walk their dog around the field, and it did cut into warm ups.   So you have these major leaguers trying to get ready for the game surrounded by a whole parade of dogs.  A sight to behold.

Probably shouldn’t surprise you that Michael Young was the only one they didn’t have to yell at to stop watching the dogs and get back to work.  Everyone else - main culprits above, Murph and Elvis - watched the dogs go by and laughed.

oh, it’s the little things in life.

there was a family sitting behind us, and, god bless them, they were really trying to talk sensible baseball.  the mom was keeping a nice scorebook and reading all the facts and numbers and such, but they were a bit clueless on players.  like wondering when did adam dunn start striking out a bunch (check: since the beginning of time), asking how the Rangers shortstop kept making plays (check: because he’s Elvis Andrus, and Paul Konerko’s the freaking runner), and why does Ozzie call for the bunt instead of the home run (check: man, wouldn’t be awesome if it was that easy, that Ozzie just pulls like Adam Dunn over and goes, “Dude, just hit a three run homer for me,” and Dunn goes, “You betcha, skip,” and then just hits whatever pitch thrown at him 400 dead center and we all go, man, Ozzie is such a freaking genius asking for runs to be scored).

but anyway they went to saying, “alexei…isn’t alexei that 40-something player that everyone keeps saying it’s remarkable he still has good defense?"  "well, he’s cuban so he’s at least 40.”

and i don’t know why that one was the one that finally offended my baseball sensibilities, but i finally had to turn around and go, “You’re thinking of Omar Vizquel.”

“Oh, thank you, Omar Vasquez.”

well, i tried.

But anyway, an inning later, and my dad’s like, “Soo, I’m thinking a year ago you don’t even bother correcting people you don’t know, even at a ballpark."  And I really wouldn’t, I’d just be crying in my head over the fact that Omar Vizquel’s baseball awesomeness has been missed, but here I can’t keep my mouth shut.

It’s kinda nice.

It’s appropriate that Southpaw was celebrating Easter today (since the Sox will be out of town on the actual holiday) because the White Sox laid an egg in the win column in this Angels series.

Was that a stretch of a pun?  Oh, yes.  But I’d rather do that and while I best try to focus that I saw Dan Haren, I can’t completely ignore the fact that the White Sox being in a bit of a mess.  And, by mess, I mean they have lost four consecutive games, they were just swept at home, suddenly the bats have gone cold, and they still don’t have someone who can get outs in the ninth inning.

Wait. Crud.

Happy Palm Sunday!