Sorry for the shitty imagine but I wrote it in a hurry D:

I’ve been really stressed because it’s my sister’s birthday tomorrow and my birthday is this thursday as well so there’s a loooot going on D:

The light ringing of the bell above the door made you look up from the wet hair on the ground which you had been sweeping with a broom, and looked at the door. A wide grin spread on your lips as you saw who the next customer was.

“Andrew Dennis Biersack”, you said playfully sarcastic, “How nice of you to finally visit me again”

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Just made this video.. teaches you how to bounce cut your pour.  Check it out

Strong and Sweet.

Her: What’s the cheapest drink you have?

Me: Miller High Life for $4.

Her: No, like with alcohol. I want something strong and sweet but cheaper than last time. 

Me: Well drinks are $7.

Her: SEVEN DOLLARS. What’s that get me? 

Me: Anything from the well. Any house liquor. 

Her: What’s well? What’s that? What’s well mean? Huh?

Me: Like, not name brand alcohol. The cheap stuff. Vodka, tequila, whatever.

Her: Oh. So like, I want to mix that with something.

Me: Mix what with what.

Her: I don’t know. Vodka. I want it strong and sweet but cheap. I want strong and sweet.

Me: How about I make you a vodka with cranberry juice.

Her: Sure! But wait, do you have a credit card minimum?

Me: $10.

Her: Ok so what do you have for ten dollars. Everything. What is everything you have for ten dollars?

Me: I can make you a vodka with red bull.

Her: What’s red bull?

Are you sure you should be here? This seems too difficult for you. Did someone withhold oxygen from you for a prolonged period of time at one point in your life? There has got to be an easier way for you to figure out what you like to drink. Everyone knows vaguely what a bar has. So if you find out you are at a bar that is NOT a cocktail bar, dig deep ladies, dip DEEP, to find that perfect combination of strong and sweet that you remember having in bars past and just order that. Order the fuck out of it. Order it like it’s going to buy you a diamond ring and bring you home to meet it’s vodka parents in Russia. Because this needs to stop.

Idiot Of The Day

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Ignorance must be bliss… Bill: Prffffft ….tipping is wrong …I shouldn’t have to pay more than the prices of the menu …..they work for the wages they receive which is fair …it’s a job for students ….restaurants are owned by cheap skates…

Serena inicia caminhada em Wimbledon contra russa, e Teliana encara Giorgi

Londres, 26 jun (EFE).- Em busca do sexto título da carreira em Wimbledon, a americana estreará nesta edição do torneio contra a russa Margarita Gasparyan, enquanto a única brasileira da chave feminina, Teliana Pereira, irá em busca de uma vitória histórica contra a italiana Camila Giorgi.

Serena, que venceu os dois primeiros Grand Slams do ano, Aberto da Austrália e Roland Garros, jogará contra a 113ª colocada do ranking da WTA e pode ter pela frente a sérvia Ana Ivanovic nas quartas de final e a também russa Maria Sharapova nas semifinais.

Ivanovic estreará contra a chinesa Yi-Fan Xu, enquanto Sharapova, campeã em 2004 e vice 2011, iniciará a luta pelo bi diante da britânica Johanna Konta.

Atual campeã e segunda cabeça de chave, a tcheca Petra Kvitova jogará contra a holandesa Kiki Bartens pela primeira rodada, enquanto a canadense Eugenie Bouchard, que defende o vice de 2014, medirá forças com Ying-Ying Duan, também da China, e pode reeditar a final do ano passado já nas quartas.

Já Teliana não teve muita sorte e buscará a primeira vitória a primeira vitória da carreira em Wimbledon contra Giorgi, 31ª cabeça de chave e campeã na grama em ’s-Hertogenbosch (Holanda) há duas semanas. EFE