I can’t believe I have reached the point in my life where I have seen a JRPG-styled game in which Charles Barkley uses the word “baka” three times in one scene completely unironically, because Michael Jordan shot his son with a diabetes gun.
The game “Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden” is a real game
The plot from wikipedia
“The game starts off in 2041, twelve years prior to the main part of the game, in “post-cyberpocalyptic Neo New York”. Charles Barkley performed a powerful dunk called a Chaos Dunk at a basketball game, inadvertently killing most of the people in attendance. As a result, basketball was outlawed and many basketball players were hunted down and killed.
In 2053, another Chaos Dunk is performed in Manhattan, killing millions. Barkley is blamed for the Chaos Dunk and is hunted by the B-Ball Removal Department, led by Michael Jordan. Barkley is rescued by another outlaw referred to as the Ultimate Hellbane. Hellbane leads Barkley to the tomb of LeBron James, revealing that Hellbane’s real name is Balthios, the octoroon great grandson of James. The ghost of James tells the two to seek the Cyberdwarf, who is hidden in New York’s sewers. While searching for the Cyberdwarf, they are joined by a cybernetic Vince Carter, who has lost his memory. Upon finding Cyberdwarf, the four of them rush to a nearby church, where Barkley’s son Hoopz is hiding. In the church, Jordan kills Father Larry Bird and holds Hoopz hostage. Cyberdwarf, looking at Hoopz, comments that Hoopz may be “The One”; this comment restores Carter’s memory. He was killed along with many other basketball stars, but was rebuilt by the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. to kill Hoopz. Carter joins with Jordan, but the two are driven off by Barkley and his party.
Cyberdwarf theorizes that B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. used a powerful basketball called the Ultimate B-Ball, the same B-Ball used by the Monstars in the Space Jam to steal the powers of basketball players, including Barkley himself, to perform the recent Chaos Dunk, so they travel to the old Spalding building to find a rumored extremely powerful basketball. There, they discover that such a ball had been created, dubbed the Hell B-Ball. This ball was so powerful that a janitor who mishandled it inadvertently performed a Chaos Dunk in the building years ago. With the Hell B-Ball in hand, the party seek out B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.
They find the B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. headquarters on the slave ship Necron 5. After freeing Carter from his programming and defeating Jordan in basketball combat, they find the leader of B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S., a shadowy version of Barkley created by the Ultimate B-Ball to destroy all life on Earth with a super-powerful Chaos Dunk, then repopulate the earth with Barkley clones. Shadow Barkley is defeated, but machinery on the ship is set to perform the Chaos Dunk without Shadow Barkley. Barkley stays behind while the rest of the party escapes from the Necron 5. Charles Barkley then performs another Chaos Dunk, destroying the ship and saving the earth. The game ends in a cliffhanger, where Hoopz and Cyberdwarf are aboard an escape pod in space without destination, and Balthios is left behind to fight the Monstars.“
Shut up and Jam Gaiden was a god send for true doom murderheads. Got inspired to do this piece based on the upcoming sequel because of the incredible pixel art going into it. If you’re interested in the process of making good ass pixel art, check out out the channel frankiesmileshow on youtube. It’s stellar stuff and needs to be recognized as such.