bark show

#sass #angst #sexy times

Prompts: @whatcould-go-wrong
Author: @queenofthyme

“Move out of my way, Potter.”

Harry stood his ground. “Your way? I didn’t realise your daddy owned the footpaths.”

Malfoy scowled. “Don’t bring my da – my father into this.”

Harry shrugged – he knew it would infuriate Malfoy. “Then don’t claim to own things that aren’t yours.”

“What do you want, Potter?” Malfoy asked, crossing his arms.

“From you?” Harry pretended to think. “Oh nothing. I’m just standing here.” He had been going for a walk of the grounds, but standing put here, irritating Malfoy, was a much better option.

“If you don’t move – “

“You’ll what?” Harry interrupted. “Calmly walk around me and get a bit of grass on your shoe? Sounds terrifying.”

“You – you can’t just stand in the middle of the footpath!” Malfoy yelled, his indignance marred by the ridiculousness of what he was saying.

“Says who?”

“Me.”

Harry smiled. This was too easy. “Ah, well we might have an issue then.”

“What?” Barked Malfoy, his impatience showing.

“I don’t take orders from you.”

Malfoy blinked, and hesitated for just a second too long. “Well, I don’t take orders from you either.”

“That remains to be seen.”

Malfoy huffed. “You expect me to walk around you.”

“Yes.”

Harry watched Malfoy eye the grass around them. It was slightly wet from the rain earlier in the morning but nothing to make a fuss about. He let out an exasperated sign and looked back up to Harry, gesturing wildly with his arms. “Why are you standing there?”

“Why are you standing there?” Harry countered.

“Because I’m trying to – merlin, Potter, fine.” Malfoy stomped around Harry and then swivelled around to face him again. “Are you happy now?”

Harry wanted to burst into laughter, but it was much more fun to remain composed – that seemed to be the easiest and most effective way of infuriating Malfoy. “Marginally.”

“And you’re just going to keep standing there now?”

Harry nodded. “For now.”

“Why?”

Harry looked Malfoy up and down, slowly. “I could ask you the same question.”

“What – oh – that’s not – I’m leaving.” Malfoy said without moving.

“Are you?” Harry asked, unable to stop his lip curing upwards. This was just too funny.

“Yes.” Malfoy didn’t move.

“Go on, then,” Harry urged.

“Fine.” He hesitated a moment longer as if waiting for Harry to say something else and then turned on the spot, beginning to stomp away.

“Wait,” Harry called out. “Stay.”

Malfoy turned back to face him immediately. “Yes?”

Harry smirked. This was child’s play. “Nothing. Just wanted to see if you’d do it.”

Malfoy’s face went bright red. “You – you  - urgh.” He threw his arms up in the air in frustration and continued his stomping.

And because Harry couldn’t help himself: “When you realise you do like taking orders, Malfoy, you know where to find me.”

Malfoy didn’t turn but Harry could tell he heard – there was a slight hesitation between stomps, the red flush spreading to the back of his neck, his fists tightening.

Only when Malfoy was out of sight, did Harry continue his own walk in the opposite direction.


“Where have you been?”

Harry looked up from his Potions textbook to find Malfoy standing over him. He’d been trying to get in a bit of quiet study in the common room before retiring for the night but now it looked like that would be impossible.

“What?”

“I’ve been waiting at your footpath for hours,” Malfoy said, clearly in a sulk over it.

My footpath?” Harry repeated. Surely he didn’t mean…

“You said I’d know where to find you,” Malfoy accused.

Harry closed his textbook with a snap. “I was sassing you, Malfoy, I didn’t actually expect – hours? Really?

Malfoy shrugged, probably realising he’d revealed too much in his anger. “Minutes, I mean. I was exaggerating.”

“Tell the truth,” Harry demanded. Did he imagine the spark of desire in Malfoy’s eyes at the order?

“Just over two hours,” Malfoy answered immediately. Obediently. Harry had mostly been joking when they’d met earlier, just trying to get a rise out of Malfoy. But if Malfoy wanted to play this game, Harry was definitely on board.

“So, you realised a few things, did you?” Harry asked.

Malfoy muttered an answer under his breath. Harry heard it but made him say it again anyway: “Louder.”

“Yes,” Malfoy all but yelled, drawing the attention of a few stragglers around the common room.

Harry kept his voice to a whisper. “What did you realise?”

“I like it when you…” Malfoy trailed off, looking around nervously.

“When I what?” Harry prompted, his eyes glued to Malfoy’s face. There was an adorable pink tint to the sharp edges of Malfoy’s cheekbones.

“When you tell me what to do,” Malfoy finished quietly.

Harry gulped. “And what do you want me to tell you to do?”

Malfoy loosened his tie. Harry’s eyes followed the movement. “You know.”

Harry laughed. As if he was going to let Malfoy get away with an answer like that.

“I’m afraid I don’t, Malfoy, so if you’re not willing to share, there’s nothing – “

“Fine,” Malfoy snapped. “I’ll tell you, but - “ he looked around again – “can we go somewhere a bit more private?”

Merlin. Harry took a deep breath, and straightened his posture, looking up at Malfoy intently. “Go to my dormroom. Strip. Leave the door unlocked.”

And now Harry was certain he wasn’t imagining it – Malfoy’s eyes lit up at the order. “But what if – “

“Do you trust me?” Harry interrupted.

Immediately: “Yes.”

Harry reopened his textbook and waved a hand dismissively. “I’ll be up in a minute.”

He watched through his peripheral vision as Malfoy practically sprinted up the stairs to his dormitory. He couldn’t help but think that he’d stumbled across a rather marvellous discovery today.

more like this l @queenofthyme

i have this kinda cute and also a little silly ravensmudge hc that when ravenpaw comes to live w/ smudge, he introduces himself as ravenpaw of course and then smudge like…..just assumes that all clan cats have -paw names??? like firepaw, graypaw, ravenpaw…….smudgepaw?? thats what i’ll call myself to impress ravenpaw he thinks

smudge: oh so uh…..u can call me smudgepaw

ravenpaw: ???? what why do u like…wanna be a clan cat now ???

smudge: noooo! i just. want you……to….think im cool. i want a tough name.

ravenpaw: …..i. thats so damn cute

truths & dares [r.t.]

Originally posted by itslosersclub


Pairing: Richie Tozier x reader

Summary: After dealing with Pennywise, the Losers’ Club decides to throw Beverly a farewell party, which ends in an embarrassing game of truth or dare.


You all sat in Bill’s basement, hunched over and lying down in ridiculous positions as you passed around popcorn and candy.

After the whole fiasco with Pennywise, you and the rest of the Losers had decided to face your fears, and had begun by cleaning out Bill’s basement. It was where Pennywise had appeared to him that rainy night.

Now clean and dry, the basement was bathed in a warm glow, the light emanating from the multiple lights strung across the room.

You were laying on top of a blanket, your head in Bill’s lap, and humming slightly as he absentmindedly ran his hands through your hair. Neither one of you noticed Richie sitting up straighter and shooting hurt little glances your way. 

You sighed softly, the feeling of Bill smoothing your hair lulling you to sleep. You were about to drift off when a loud yelp was heard, and you sat up straight. You looked over at Richie in concern, watching as his cheeks bloomed with red before he turned around and pinched Eddie, who also let out a loud squeal.

“You motherfucker! See what you did? You woke (Y/N) up!” Richie hissed, making sure only Eddie could hear him.

You glanced at Bill, exchanging quizzical looks before looking at Beverly, who raised her eyebrow and smirked at you before tilting her head towards Richie.

You felt your cheeks heat up as Beverly turned to Eddie, who was smiling so widely, you were sure his cheeks would get stuck that way. Your eyes met Eddie’s and you quickly looked away when he gave you the same look Beverly had.

“Why the fuck are you smiling like that dumbass?” Richie’s voice broke the silence. Eddie turned and faced the trashmouth, seemingly having a silent conversation before Richie’s eyes widened and he looked down, a bright red blush adorning his cheeks.

“Wow,” you laughed, laying your head back down on Bill’s lap. “I have never seen anyone get Richie to shut up that quickly. Congrats Eds.”

Richie’s head shot up in disbelief before he noticed the teasing smile on your face and he simply stared. 

Eddie nudged him, making Richie shake his head slightly before he frowned and turned to him once more. “Hey! How come you let her call you ‘Eds”?”

Eddie snorted before shooting you a smile. “Because she’s not an annoying asshole who does it to irritate me.”

Richie’s eyes widened and he lunged at Eddie, making him squeak as they tackled each other.

“Alright guys!” Mike clapped his hands. “We’re here to spend time with Beverly before she leaves. Not fight with each other.”

“Yeah!” Beverly exclaimed. “Now how about we do something fun?”

Uneasy glances were exchanged as you all noticed Bev’s sinister expression. Slowly, one by one, you all nodded, causing her face to light up with a wide grin.

“Great,” she clapped. “Who goes first?”


You hadn’t been playing longer than ten minutes and yet Mike had been dared to sing his guilty pleasure (P.Y.T. by Michael Jackson), Stan had to talk about his crush for three minutes (a girl who sat behind him in math), Bill had to repeat tongue twisters (a moderately harsh dare from Richie), and Ben had been dared to recite a poem to the group (which made Beverly blush as she listened).

You had only been picked once, by Eddie, and you had picked truth. Although he had glanced at Richie, causing you to panic, he had proceeded to ask if you were crushing on anyone. You had responded ‘yes’, throwing a quick glance at Richie as the rest of the Losers giggled and whispered to each other, causing your face to heat up and Richie to grow agitated as he asked who they were talking about.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when it was Bill’s turn to choose, when you realized that maybe playing had been a bad idea.


“So (Y/N), t-t-truth or d-d-dare?” Bill’s voice rang through the room.

You hummed slightly, leaning up on your elbows. Feeling slightly adventurous, you answered. “Dare.”

Bill hesitated slightly, trying to think of something before he sighed in frustration. You watched as Beverly leaned in and whispered something in his ear, causing Bill to laugh out loud before turning to you and speaking. “I d-d-dare you to p-p-pick the most a-a-attractive person in this ro-o-om and spend seven m-m-minutes in the closet w-w-w-with them.”

You felt your stomach flip as you slowly stood up, shooting both him and Beverly a harsh glare. Your were met with wide eyes and innocent smiles.

You walked over to the small closet next to the shelf and took a deep breath before turning around. “Well Tozier, would you care to join me?”

Richie, who had been glaring at Bill, looked over at you in shock. You bit your lip as his eyes widened, making him look like an owl due to the fact that they were magnified by his thick glasses.

“M-me?” Richie whispered. You nodded. “Fuck,” he whispered under his breath.

“Go!” Eddie hissed, nudging Richie with his elbow and cackling as he stumbled to his feet.

Richie made his way over to you, fidgeting with the hem of his button-down as he mumbled under his breath as Bill & Bev stood and made their way over to you as well.

“Alright,” Bev began, a large smile on her face. “You’ll go in there and we’ll lock the door from the outside. Mike will keep time and once the seven minutes are up, we’ll let you out okay?”

You glanced at Richie before nodding quickly.

“A-a-alright. In you go,” Bill stated, pushing you both in and locking the door.


You sighed as you stood in the darkness, placing your hands on the wall behind you and sliding down until you were in a sitting position. You could feel Richie shifting around next to you before he copied your actions and slid down next to you.

You heard Richie snort and turned to look at him, your eyes scanning the outline of his face as they adjusted to the darkness.

“You know that those assholes are probably listening in on us right? They just want to know what the fuck is going on in here,” Richie whispered.

“I know,” you replied quietly.

Silence ensued for a few more seconds, your heart beating faster and harder as Richie scooted closer to you.

“So do you really think I’m the most attractive person here?” Richie broke the silence.

This time, it was you who snorted. “Careful Tozier, your ego is beginning to show.“

Richie barked out a slight laugh. “Well since we’re stuck in here and shit for the next few minutes, I have something I should tell you.”

You sat up straighter, turning to him and smiling as you noticed him fidgeting with his glasses.

“I think you’re really fucking pretty,” Richie whispered. Your heart froze.

“I’m pretty fucking sure that my heart beats faster than that motherfucking roadrunner when I’m around you and even though Eddie says that you like me, I find that hard to believe because you’re a great fucking person and I’m just the trashmouth who makes dumbass comments about Ed’s mom and-“

“Richie,” you cut him off. 

“Yeah?” he replied, looking up.

“Shut up,” you said, leaning in and pressing your lips against his.

It was barely a kiss. It was a soft and awkward and barely-there brush of the lips yet yo you and Richie, it seemed like the best thing in the world. You felt your heart begin to palpitate and you could hear Richie gasp as his breath hitched, one of his hands coming up to brush your cheek softly. 

You pulled away and looked at Richie, whose eyes were still closed with his mouth still slightly puckered. He looked beautiful, the soft light that was coming in through the bottom of the door surrounding him in a pale yellow halo.

He opened his eyes slowly, a goofy smile making its way across his face as he ran a hand through his hair. “You like me? You really like me back?”

You nodded shyly as he let out a delighted laugh. “This whole time I fucking thought that you liked Bill. I truly did. Why the fuck would you like me? But you do like me! Thank fuck for Bev’s dare.”

You chuckled slightly as Richie quieted down. “I would never like Bill. No offense to him, he’s great, but he’s like a brother to me. Besides, he likes Bev.”

Richie laughed breathlessly before quieting down.

“Can I- can I kiss you again?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” you whispered back, your eyes fluttering shut as his hand brushed your hair back. He leaned in again, your lips meeting in a slightly less awkward kiss. Your hand had found its way into his hair, messing with his curls before you felt yourselves falling back as Mike opened the door. You collapsed onto the ground and pulled away from each other, a heavy blush coating both of your cheeks as you noticed all the Losers standing there with varying degrees of smug happiness displayed on their faces.

“I told you she liked you back Richie!” Eddie exclaimed.

“I’d say they definitely like each other, with the way they were sucking each other’s faces off,” Stan said nonchalantly, a knowing smirk on his face.

As the rest of the Losers broke out into laughter, you and Richie both groaned.

Shut up Stanley!”


Tags: @delicrieux

My writing

Disclaimer: Works marked with * are rated explicit for sexually explicit content and/or other adult themes. Works marked with <> feature a non-gender specific character. The works are in order from oldest to newest under each category.

Series 
Illuminate 
I. No Promises* - He needs her more than anything else, he needs to be close, to be touched and held. He needs nails grazing his skin and teeth dragging along his shoulder. Because he feels a little less like a machine, and a little more like a person when he’s with her. All despite her tenacious attempts to keep him distant from her. 

II. Patience Like This* - “I care about you. More than I want to. And that scares me. It scares me so much that I sometimes wish we’d never met. I hate that you make me feel this way. You kind of drive me nuts. But somehow I still want you. You mess me up so bad and I still want you.”

Atlas: Senses  
I. Touch* - “I wanted to stay. I wanted to fight for us, but you wouldn’t let me. You just left and took the easy way out.” 

We Talked of Forever
I. After Midnight - “You’re my best friend.”

II. 11 am* - “I’ll always be your best friend. No matter what.”

Oneshots
Next to Our Brand New Bed* - “Can I have a taste?”

Requests 
I’ll Never Be Your Mother’s Favourite - Shawn meets her parents for the first time and things don’t really go to plan. 

Fortunes - “Shawn. Say something. Please.” 

There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back* <> - “Baby, I’ve missed you, I’ve been gone for ages, and I need you so bad.” 

Where My Demons Hide <> - “I’m not leaving you like this. Please. Is there anything I can do?” 

A Little Help* <> - “How long have you been standing there?” 

Pickering* <> - Shawn hands me the phone when he’s done uploading the picture and I look at the image, the caption underneath it saying, “Us and our son.” 

Care for You - “I’ll give you a massage.”

Blurbs/bulletpoints/other 

here’s the (somewhat) full video of me meeting trinity and peppermint and giving them their gifts!!!!! i was having a meltdown because i saw from the back of the line how much they were rushing ppl. like security and the guy running the show was barking at ppl so fiercely that most ppl didn’t even have time to hug trinity.

i was convinced they wouldn’t have let me give them their gifts personally and i would have had to just leave it on the table so i could quickly get my photo taken before being swept away. LUCKILY, their enthusiastic and appreciative responses made it all worth it??? you can literally see the guy stressing out about how “long” we’re taking but fortunately, i wasn’t yelled at so maybe even he could recognize how much that moment meant to me.

happy pride y'all!!!!!! i hope you meet your faves and they’re as wonderful and receptive to you as mine were to me. ♡♡♡♡

I like this game, but I can’t help but feel a little disappointed at a missed opportunity.

Both words is the title are five letters long and have an “N” in the middle and if you swap the letters after or before the “N” you get:

I know I’m not the only person who noticed that.

The game is already stuffed full of references to some pretty obscure shit, you couldn’t have given them a poster in the background or something? I know a Sonic Underground reference would be kind of out of place, but certainly not as out of place as Puyo Puyo!

I can’t imagine DiC would be too upset about it, what with them being out of business and all.

✨ H.A.T.E ✨

Peter Pan Imagine

One 

Author: Joi A. Wade

Tagged: @tmrhollandkay, @ casualcolorstarfish

Requested: Yes,  Hi, can I get one where Pan & the reader are in HS and they don’t really get along but Pan always trys ti seduce her. Pan and the lost boys have a costume party and the reader dresses up as a sexy maid and Pan takes her to go to his room and smut.,  Please make a second part to your Peter Pan fanfic! It’s really good and the cliffhanger is killing me! Also, I wouldn’t mind a smut, if you’re comfortable with writing that.. :) *slides out backdoor*,  Part 2 of H.A.T.E PLZZZZZ!?!?!?!, When is the second part of H.A.T.E coming out? I love your writing :),  When are u planning to update H.A.T.E.? 👀👀

Warnings: SWEARING | smut | long | greaser!Pan | soc!reader | cliffhang

Summary: H.A.T.E = Having All These Emotions. Y/n brings up a simple memory, only for it to open old wounds. 

Note: SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER! ONE MORE DAY! I REPEAT! UNO! AND 2000 FOLLOWERS !! :) :) :) :)


“Follow me.”

“What part of ‘avoiding him’ did you not understand-”

“Please, love.”

Now this caught her off guard. Him, Peter Pan, the ruthless greaser that didn’t ask nicely, and took what he wanted, was begging her? Oh, she was definitely about to use this against him later. But, for now.

“Fine.”

The two of them weaved through the crowd of horny, sweaty teenagers pretty easily. Nobody paying mind to who was who, thanks to the near pitch blackness of the area and the intoxication. Y/n, being grateful of this, sighed in relief once they’ve reached the couple steps into a hall; the last thing she wanted was to be seen following a greaser to a room. 

Going further down the hall, he stops in front of a door that Y/n assumed was his room (obviously). Opening it cautiously, Peter quickly pulls her inside, slamming it back and locking it right after. Raising an eyebrow at this, she coughs slightly. 

“Uh, you wanna tell me why you locked the door?” 

Without answer, Peter quickly grabs her by the wrist (rather roughly, mind you) and slams her back into the wooden surface. Wincing slightly, letting out a small squeak at the sudden chill down her back, Y/n stares up at him in shock. 

“What the hell is your-” 

Cutting her off was simple. With his lips crashing onto her in a heated embrace was enough to make her brain stop for only a moment. For once, she was speechless. Standing still was her panic mode, not moving her body nor her lips as Peter had her wrists held tightly in his hands, trapped against the door. Finally regaining consciousness, she doesn’t hesitate to knee him right where mother nature had blessed him. 

Grunting, he pulls his head away from hers, but not letting her wrists free. They both panted heavily, Y/n staring at him with a mixture of emotions, while his was scrunched in pain. Neither of them moved as he collected himself. Opening his eyes back up, Y/n could feel her throat run dry at the sight before her. They were no longer their warm, greenish tint. They looked dark, ferocious…hungry.  Shaking his head slightly, Peter let out the deepest chuckle she had ever heard, sending an instant heat wave down to the pit of her stomach and her knees to nearly give out. Whatever this feeling was, she hated it. 

“Shouldn’t have done that, princess.” He grins, “You’ll only make it rougher for yourself.” 

“Bite me.” She barks, not daring to show weakness. Slowly letting her wrists go, Peter places his hands on her hips, tugging her closer to where she was pressed up against him. Leaning in closely, he places soft kisses on the curve of her neck, almost earning a shiver from her. Almost. 

“Oh, darling. I plan on it~” 

Not missing a beat, Peter digs his teeth into what he pegged to be a sweet spot. He was correct. The small, but audible moan slipped passed her lips before she could even stop herself. Gripping onto his broad shoulders, Y/n tilts her head to the side to give more access as he has his way with her neck. Her pride was slowly being consumed by lust every passing second; the amount of sexual frustration they’ve built over the years was finally crashing down tonight. 

Peter lowers his hands to the back of her thighs, picking her up with slight struggle, still in pain from the kick just moments ago. Holding her up against the door for leverage, Y/n doesn’t hesitate to wrap her legs around his lean waist, one hand escalating to his brown locks, tugging every time he sucked a new hickey upon her skin. Soft sighs escaped her mouth, the slight taste of pleasure forcing her hips to have a mind of their own as Y/n started grinding up into his. Letting out a quiet moan of his own caught them both off guard, him pulling away from his assault on her neck to make eye contact once again. His lips now a shade of red drew Y/n’s attention easily, her eyes softening slightly. 

“You remember James’s party, back in sophomore year?” 

The question threw him off track for a moment, judging for the fact that they are pressed up against one another, so close to doing unspeakable things to each other. Deciding to humor her, he nods. 

“Barely, what of it?” 

“When we were playing seven minutes in heaven, you and I got picked together, remember that?”

“Yeah, I remember you punching me in the mouth after I kissed you, why?” He tilts his head in confusion and also irritation. He now has a boner, and here she was talking about memories??? 

“I never told you..that you were my first kiss that day. That’s why I punched you in the mouth and stormed off. I felt like you robbed me…” 

Peter’s eyes softened, his grip on her thighs as well. “Why didn’t you say anything before we were left alone?” 

“I didn’t know you were going to kiss me!” 

“What else do you do in seven minutes in heaven?!” He lets her drop to the floor, backing up slightly in aggravation. “If it was some soc guy, you would have had no problem sucking his face off!” 

“You’re right, I wouldn’t! You want to know why?” She glares, crossing her arms over her chest, popping her hip out. Oh, boy. 

“Oh, please, princess! Enlighten me, make my bloody night!” 

“Because that soc wouldn’t have pulled my skirt down in front of the whole freshman class!” 

“You’re still bitter about that? Let the shit go, it’s in the past, take a fucking joke!” He fumes, his blood boiling. “That was nearly three years ago! And don’t act like you’re miss innocent in this whole trash fire between us!” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“The sophomore varsity football game, behind the bleachers. You kissed me, running off right after. You left me to think you finally dropped your attitude with me, only to find out the next day that it was a fucking dare!” He towers over her, making her back up against the door once again, staring up at him. “A dare, Y/n! You how low do you have to be to do that to someone’s emotions? I wouldn’t even do that, because I’m not a monster!”

“You’re being over dramatic, it was just a silly dare. What did it matter to you?” 

He groans loudly, tugging at his hair. “Are you bloody stupid? For someone with a 4.0, you really are a bloody airhead! I love you, Y/n Ln, ever since I laid my eyes on you at orientation. I just had a horrible way of showing it, and that day after finding out you played me for a fool, I swore on my life that I hated your fucking guts. That the only way me and you could ever get along was to be at each other’s throats.”

“Stop it, you’re being ridiculous. It was just a kiss-”

“Do you honestly think that your first kiss was the only one robbed? After that night behind the bleachers, I thought that you would finally give me a chance, kissing you was probably the best thing about that night…after finding out that it was just for your amusement, I felt betrayed. Everything said about you socs was clear to me. You pick on those less fortunate, to make your rich asses have a laugh. And I hated you for it.” 

It was silent for a moment after his rant, once again leaving Y/n speechless. Had she really did that to him? There was no way, greasers weren’t known for feeling ‘betrayed’. It didn’t make sense…

“Peter…I..”

“Run out of smart things to say? Well, since I have your attention, shall I go on? You realize that all this hate, anger, and bitterness is all because I was immature that day? The day the first words you spoke to me was that you hated me, I didn’t even know you knew my name! But, it broke me, so my only option was to return the words to you…for years. I’ve been lying to you and myself all this time and I’m tired of it. I want it to end. So please…” 

He pleads softly, trapping her further into the door, while placing both hands on her cheeks, holding her. She could’ve sworn she say tears resting at the brim of his eyes, just waiting to fall, but she was too focused on the sudden change in the color. Dark, ferocious…hungry. Leaning in to her ear slowly, he purrs something that definitely brought back the erotic atmosphere.

“Shut your goddamn mouth for once in your life, and let me fuck you.” 

anonymous asked:

My new pup is 15 weeks old (has only been home for just over a week), and is already showing bad habits for jumping up on people/counters/tables, food stealing while people are trying to eat, and showing early signs of resource guarding and frustration with my two year old shepherd (snapping at him if he walks by while she is chewing on a bully stick, getting frustrated and growling/barking if she can't get toys from him, etc.) I tried to do the right thing by giving her a home but I am worried!

Breath!!! Your pup is just being a puppy - this is all normal and not an indicator of how he will be as an adult. There’s nothing wrong with him or you. Puppies are stupid, they’re over excited, they don’t know how to behave in human environments, they annoy other dogs, they bite EVERYTHING, they bark, they’re impatient and bratty and demanding. Especially without naps! Oh boy do they nap. This is all normal in a baby. 

Thyme was like that too, I fucking hated it but kept working at it because as much as I hated it I knew it wasn’t permanent. They do not know all the rules, especially in a new home, straight away.

He’s a bit young for things to be labelled bad habits or red flags just yet, you gotta teach him ;) 

Here is some ideas:

If he jumps up on tables, take him off. If he DOESNT jump up on a table, give him some praise or a treat. 

Don’t let people give him attention until all four feet on the ground or he is sitting - this is the hardest one, people won’t listen! Thyme is 9 months old and on occasion he still jumps on people! But he is getting better, slowly slowly.

Feed stealing is impulse control related! When you are eating, put him in his bed/crate/tether him away. Work on impulse control with food at separate times (start with less valuable food, work your way up. Impulse is control for a little dude!). Give him praise/treats for chilling quietly. Teach him a place command.

Keep your dogs separated when they have something like a bully stick, tbh I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a dog to be a bit protective against other dogs - with time your puppy will learn to trust your other dog won’t steal the treat! What’s important is no resource guarding against you, offer a trade or reward when taking such coveted toys off the puppy until the trust between you had built up.

Also, trust building. Your dogs don’t know each other yet :)

Puppies get frustrated when they can’t have something they want. Expressing self verbally is annoying but normal! When he behaves like this to your other dog, remove him from the room. Shoo him away or take him away, take him to his crate and give him his own toy. Don’t let him act like that to your other dog - he will learn that this behaviour is not allowed. IDK if you saw my latest video, but while Thyme is allowed to chase after Thistle, notice she told him off when he actually tried to take the toy off her? She just shoved him over. I only allow her to do that now that he is listening properly, previously *I* was the one to go over and take him away for trying to steal toys because Thistle didn’t trust him. Now that she trusts him, and he trusts her, I can trust her to politely tell him off for forgetting the rules. 

Redirect redirect redirect.  Call him away and give a treat, play a game with him. Don’t let him steal from other dogs. (I do this to Thistle too, if Thyme is playing with a toy and she goes to steal it, I shoo her away or give her her own toy).

If you haven’t seen it, check out Kikopup’s video on Capturing Calmness - you want to reinforce his ability to just relax and chill. It won’t be very good yet, being he is a puppy, but he will get better.

I think it is normal to worry and second guessing everything you are doing, but this all sounds quite normal! Take a deep breath, remind yourself that puppies are dumb annoying babies who don’t know anything (yet) and keep working at it.

Then one day you will realise, hey! He is improving! The barking is less, the biting is less, he can chill, he listens more, his attention span is better etc etc.

Good luck anon, and please! Keep us updated :) 

anonymous asked:

My ex-boyfriend (who broke up with me) is mad because I don't want to be friends, My best friend bailed on me even tho I haven't seen him in 2 months, I failed a chem test, an ASL test and an English Socratic Seminar today and I have to go to school tomorrow. It's been a hectic day. If you have the time (and energy def don't feel pressured!!) I'd love a hurt/comfort Stucky or Stony fic please (or Bucky/Steve/Tony)

that is a huge pile of shitty anon, i’m sorry!

“All right, Iron Man, back in the air,” Steve calls and Tony does a silly salute even though he doesn’t think Steve can see him from where he is.

“Upsie daisy,” he calls in return. He’s barely lifted off when something hits him in the right thigh with a loud crunch. Pain spikes all the way down to his toes and up into his hip. The shock knocks him off kilter. He cries out, but it’s more out of shock than anything.

“Tony?!” he hears someone yell, but the view on the HUD is spinning and that’s more important than whoever’s yelling at him.

“Sir, you’ve taken a hit—”

No shit!” Tony yells back breathlessly.

Keep reading

You Love Him More - Tyler Seguin

Requested: No

Word Count: 1559

Warnings: Slight smut

_______________________________________________

You hated to admit it but there was one thing in the word that you loved more than anything. And that was the chocolate colored lab that was laying right beside you.

Technically, Marshall wasn’t yours but he still brought you a comfort on lonely days when Tyler was gone. Like now, he was laying on the left side of the bed while you were on the right so you could smell your boyfriend’s scent that he left along with his pillow.

This time it wasn’t supposed to be long, only a week so he left some things that he normally would bring on the road. In fact, Tyler’s supposed to be home today, so Marshall and you decided to just chill on the blue bed that you and Ty shared.

As you continued to think about the hockey player, your right hand ran through the labs fur and you couldn’t help but kiss his precious forehead. This made the doggy open his eyes and he barking showing his excitement before attacking you with kisses. “Marsh-” you giggled pushing him a little to slide up so you could sit against the headboard. With the dog sitting on your legs, you cupped his squishy face in your hands. “You’re such a good boy. Yes, you are.” Marshall barked while his tail was swinging side to side.

“Sometimes, I think you love him more.” The familiar voice made the lab jump off you to run towards the bedroom door where his daddy was standing. He was wearing a black athlete shirt with green shorts. “Hey, bud.” Tyler dropped his duffle bag to crouch down, letting the doggy lick his face. “Did you keep mama safe while I was gone?” Marshall barked in response. “Good boy.” You just watched the two with a smile on your face and waited patiently for your turn.

Once Ty looked your way his smiled matched yours before walking over to you. His hands moved to your hips before pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Well, Marshall, doesn’t leave me for weeks to months a time.” He let out an aired laugh before saying.

“I missed you.”

You smiled. “I missed you, too.” Your hands when to the back of his neck to bring his lips down to yours.

Tyler moaned in response before pushing you down on the soft bed. As his hands went inside your shirt the both of you heard whining. “Marshall, go away.” The hockey player mumbled against your lips before slightly pushing the chocolate lab away with his leg.

Once the both of you didn’t hear the whining anymore, the kissed got more heated. You wrapped your legs around his waist to pulled him closer to add pressure were you needed him the most.

You’re hands played with the hem of his shirt, notifying your boyfriend that you wanted it off. Luckily, Tyler noticed this so he pulled away to take it off. You couldn’t help but stare at his nicely shaped chest down to his abs, plus that delicious v-line that made your mouth. However, what really drove you crazy would definitely have to be his tattooed covered biceps.

You finally looked away from his arms to look at his bearded face and that’s when you noticed the his signature smirk. “Like what you see?”

You didn’t say anything but sat up a little to remove your, well, his shirt revealing your lavender laced bra. “Like what you see?” A smirk was placed on your lips as his dropped into a snare.

Tyler pushed you back onto the bed then grind his hips onto yours making your mouth open to let out a mouthy groan. “That’s for mocking me, baby.” His lips moved to neck surely leaving a hickey then he moved back to your lips.

Suddenly, the bed dipped right beside the two of you and a wet feeling (other then in your underwear) appeared from your face to Tyler’s. The two of you pulled apart to see Marshall wagging his tail happily. “Aw, baby boy were you jealous?” The lab barked in response. You put a hand on your boyfriend’s shoulder to push him away.

“What?” The hockey player was so confused when you moved from under him to play with his dog. “But I thought we were-”

“Ty,” you turned to him. “Marshall just wants some attention.”

A pout covered your boyfriend’s face. “But I do, too.” You moved over to your side of the bed and patted to the spot beside you. Tyler quickly moved over to you and pressed a kiss to your lips. But Marshall started barking making you two pull away. You laughed while your hockey player groaned. “He’s such a clock block.”

"Oh, be quiet.” You said pushing him slightly making Ty laugh.

"No, seriously.” He commented while grabbing your hand. “Before we started dating, you know when I was a total douche.” You gave him a look. “Okay, more than I am now. I used to bring girls home and Marshall would bark at them like crazy. It scared them so bad that they would leave me all high and dry. If you know what I mean.”

You squinted your eyes. “Oh, I know what you mean.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

"Oh, come on babe. You know how I was before I met you.” Tyler wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you onto his lap so you would straddle him.

"I know,” a sigh escaped your month as you began to play with his hair. “But it doesn’t him I want to be reminded about it.”

"M'sorry.” He mumbled before pecking your lips. Marshall didn’t like the attention off him so he moved over to his father and started to lick his face.

"It’s funny.” You giggled while petting the sweet boy. “Because we wouldn’t have met, if Marsh didn’t tackle me in that park.”

"Yeah.” You boyfriend smiled. “I guess, at that time he had better taste than me.”

A huge smile covered your face. “Guess so.” You kissed the lab’s forehead then Tyler’s lips. “You know,” you started. “Maybe he’s just lonely.” The both of you watched as the dog moved to the end of the bed to lay down in his original spot.

"Yeah.” You turned back to your man and noticed the gears in his head moving.

"Hey.” You called out getting his attention. “You can still feel me up if you’ll like.”

You watched as a big smile covered his face. “Have I ever told you how much I love you.”

You smirked a little. “Maybe a little.”

"Well, I love you.” Tyler kissed your cheek.

"Love you, too my little douche.”

_x_

The next morning Tyler left you a note saying he’ll be home by noon, he had something to do with practice so you started to cook some fried pork chops with string beans and mashed potatoes. Yes, that may seem like a lot for lunch but Tyler is always very hungry after practice.

Anyway, Marshall was standing at your feet ready for anything you accidentally drop. As you stirred the mashed potatoes a text appeared on your phone.

Ty🖤: come outside

You squinted your eyes before rolling them. You turned off the stove then walked out the kitchen. “Come, Marshall.” The lab followed after you as you made your way through the house to the front door. “Ty.” You called out while walking down the steps. Suddenly, a small black thing ran up to you, nearly causing you to fall. “Oh my goodness.” You squealed as you picked up the little black lab. “You’re the cutest.”

"So you like him? I think his name will be Midnight or Cash?”

"I love him.” You turned away from your boyfriend to carry to new pup into the house. “You hungry?” The puppy started to lick your face. “Yes, I’m sure you are.”

"Um, Y/n.” You paid Tyler no attention as you put the little thing on the floor near Marshall who was trying to figure the black lab out.

You went over to the pork chops and started to cut up some pieces. “Here you go my babies.” You gave them some to which they very much appreciated it.

"What about me?” You looked at the hockey player and smiled.

"Come over here, daddy.” You giggled at the new puppy who started to paw at Marshall.

Arms wrapped around your waist. “You know better then to call me that.” You picked up a piece of pork and turned around to put it in your boyfriend’s mouth.

"Later.” You kissed his cheek. “But now, you eat.” He smiled before the both of you watched as the dogs played together. “I like Cash. It sounds more human.” Tyler looked at you. “Since Marshall is a human name. It would be crazy to name him Midnight.”

He smiled before replying. “Cash it is then.” You hopped on the counter so Tyler could stand in between your legs.

"Oh, and once the babies go to sleep-” you slid a finger down his white shirt to stop at his belt buckle. “Mama and daddy are gonna have some grown-up time.”

A smirk appeared on his face. “I’ll like that.” Once his lips crashed onto yours, a pair of whines were heard. “Oh, come on!”

Originally posted by seabsieboys

How we pronounce "Здравствуйте"

We all know, that translation is “hello” and we use it in formal situations.
So, according to rules of pronunciation and etiquette, it sounds like “здравствуйте”
But we, Russians, are very lazy and we are also very busy (do you remember about our hands!?)

So, with time, “здравствуйте” turns into “драствуйте” then “драсьте” then “драсьть” with a heavy stress on “a” and eventually it sounds like you are barking.

This pronunciation shows if you are a foreigner - because you try to pronounce EVERY sound in this word. But, it shows that you respect that person which you are greeting. So, it’s good:)

big biiiiiiig protip for anyone who wants to write a mystery/suspenseful show/book/what have you that opens up a lot of mysteries over time and needs lore to help explain things: dont pull a lost. dont tease your audience into saying that everything will be answered and that everything is planned out if you genuinely dont know/cant answer some questions. dont have false mysteries. just dont pull a lost.