bargain huntress

Oh My God, We’re Back Again {TVD 7x16 Spoilers}

OK! TVD is back which means so is my commentary. It will be anti-Damon/Delena but no more than usual but if you don’t want to read that then, well, don’t ;) I write this in real time so if I say some misinformation in the beginning I might fix it later on. Let’s go!

1. I mean it really bothers me that Rayna is a Vampire Huntress that is not going around killing vampires. Damon and Stefan should be dead right now. Buffy that shit up, Julie. Jfc.

2. The way they’re framing Rayna and Damon with Stefan in the middle, this has to be Stefan’s hell or something. I refuse to believe that a Vampire Huntress is bargaining with vampires instead of just killing them.

3. Damon needs to shut up. He isn’t funny. His narration is annoying.

4. Wow, none of this is suspenseful.

5. OK no. It really bothers me that the show finally caught up to the flash-forwards but because the narrative didn’t actually “catch up”, because there was still a whole bunch of shit left unanswered the show is now doing flashbacks when we were JUST in the past. JUST DO A LINEAR PLOT.

6. I still don’t like Steferie. But their stares/gazes are nice. And I like the song playing in the background.

7. Did that just say “directed by Ian Somerhalder”?

8. It did.

9. I will try my best not to be petty about this.

10. So tumblr is being weird, suddenly there aren’t any spaces between my enters? OK that has nothing to do with TVD. Moving on.

11. Yes, please, kill Enzo because he has absolutely no purpose.

12. It really doesn’t feel like Mary-Louise and Nora haven’t seen each other in three years. Three days maybe.

13. Enzo and Matt, an irrelevant scene with irrelevant characters.

14. Lol, Rayna, just. kill. Damon. You are a Vampire HUNTRESS. Beat him to a bloody pulp. Like omg.

15. Wait, how the fuck does Rayna know about Elena?

16. “Now you made her uncomfortable!” Drunk Stefan and Drunk Valerie are actually hilarious.

17. So Rayna technically isn’t an ex of Stefan’s but this is just one more woman from Stefan’s past completely obsessed with him. Katherine, Rebekah, Valerie, Tessa-ish and now Rayna. LOL.

18. So we’re just not going to be mad at Damon, eh?

19. This episode is so boring.

20. Enzo, no one cares.

21. “Ask Stefan Salvatore”? Really, Matt? ENZO KNOWS WHO STEFAN IS.

22. 20 minutes and no Bonnie. OK.

23. I like how this mystical connection is one-way. Rayna gets to know everything Stefan is thinking and feeling but he can’t somehow know what she’s thinking and feeling?

24. Oh my God, is Steferie growing on me? Nooooooo.

NOOOOOOOO.

25. Damon, SHUT UP.

26. Yeah, Valerie you ain’t shit. But so are you, Damon. Lol, poor Stefan.

27. Damon to Valerie: “I get it you think I’m a piece of crap and by the way, I was but then I met a girl and she made me good!”

(^^ This is when he kidnapped Jeremy)

You mean to say that Elena changed, shed all personality and character and just accepted everything you did and never passed any judgement and was just your caretaker/cheerleader/fluffer and didn’t care that you stayed being ain’t shit, like, JP and co.:

28. I copy and pasted my review to a different page and then the spaces came back … tumblr is so weird. ANYWAY.

29. “The only person you ever needed was by your side all along and you abandoned him” True dat, Valerie. True. Dat.

30. OK but like … so I never got this about TVD. When they need to get somewhere super quick, they just ‘step on the gas’ but like, you’re vampires tho. Wouldn’t vamp speed be faster than a car? Like I would hope so or else that’s just a stupid power.

31. I really don’t care about Matt and his irrelevant grief and his irrelevant dead girlfriend and his misplaced hatred toward Stefan.

32. Mary-Louise and Nora are legit being Thelma & Louise right now.

33. This episode was supposed to be hype, like I can tell it was supposed to be a lit episode but it just felt over-long and unnecessarily convoluted while nothing is actually happening, much like how I feel when Ian talks so it makes sense that his direction is like his interviewing.

34. I really couldn’t help but be petty.

Final thoughts, there was no Bonnie and that was ridiculous. I did actually miss Caroline and Alaric, I want to see that relationship and how it developed. Stefan is back in the hell stone because why the hell not. Everything that happened this episode didn’t need to take 45 minutes.